一个人的GRE，大家看看我这第一篇作文吧，万分感谢

qilihua_cnUID: 2505680

九月十一考作文，这是我写的第一篇Argu，之前从来没写过提纲，一篇大概要用一个多小时，自己一个人准备，实在不知道这是什么水平，急需大家指点，万分感谢！！！真是亟需！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT109 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Maple City newspaper.
"Twenty years ago Pine City established strict laws designed to limit the number of new buildings that could be constructed in the city. Since that time the average housing prices in Pine City have increased considerably. Chestnut City, which is about the same size as Pine City, has over the past twenty years experienced an increase in average housing prices similar to Pine City, but Chestnut City never established any laws that limit new building construction. So it is clear that laws limiting new construction have no effect on average housing prices. So if Maple City were to establish strict laws that limit new building construction, these laws will have no effect on average housing prices."
WORDS: 342          TIME: 01:27:32          DATE: 2009-8-19 10:28:09
By comparing the average housing price of the two cities, the arguer comes to the conclusion that the law designed to limit the number of new buildings has nothing to do with the average housing price. However in my opinion, there're several other factors should be considered before the conclusion is come to.
Firstly, the comparison between Pine City and Chestnut City is open to doubt. The arguer doesn't provide us other aspects that can influence the  housing price, such as the economy level经济状况, the geographic situation地理位置, the population of the two cities. If Chestnut city had a larger population, a higher level of economy, and located near some economy centre etc, these factors can all contribute to the increasing of the average housing price, although there's no limit of building more. While the price in Pine City increased because of the relative lack of the hause, which is due to the limit laws and the increasing population. Unless these factors are ruled out, we cannot easily draw a conclusion like that.
Granted that the comparison between the two cities is reliable, but how about Maple City? The arguer fails to give us sufficient evidence that this city is in the similar situation with the two. Maybe Maple is a city that in need of more house because of the increasing population. Then the limit will surely do something to the housing price.
Granted that the three cities are the same in every aspect, we can still hardly come to such a conclusion since things happened twenty years ago surely cannot conduct things today. Twenty years is quite a long time during which numourous factors can take place.For instance, in a population boom world like now, the size of the population can 翻几番 within a period of 20 years.
Whether and how to establish laws to limit the number of new buildings is really important. If the leaders of a city can have the aspects discussed above and other unmentioned factors taken into account, I believe the decision will be much more valuable.

xueyiUID: 2647060

没有模板的痕迹，读起来也很流畅。第一篇写成这样，可喜可贺。
注意一下论述的力度，现在仍然流于形式。

qilihua_cnUID: 2505680

2# xueyi

非常感谢！我再加油看