冰rachel1102 的作文作业

rachel1102UID: 2657934

刚开始练作文，大家猛批啊。lecture部分听了两遍才写成这样，嗨！
The lecture completely refutes the passage. It is said in the lecture that the three reasons mentioned in the passage have some flaws. The advances in technology, the stronger legal protection for private property or a desire to reduce production costs are not the real reasons cause the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry.

Firstly, the professor in the lecture points out that the advances in technology is not the major force causing the transition. In order to increase the productivity, the factory always hired more workers, not used the machine. What's more, in the early age, the machines were not used widely, and the steam engines became widely used later.

Secondly, in the lecture, the professor reasons that the
stronger legal protection for private property
not causes the transition. During that time, the similar laws protected the private property were also established in other places, but the transition does not occur in those places. So the establishment of a stronger legal does not necessarily cause transition.

Finally, the professor
says that more from cottage production to factory production can not reduce production costs. On the contrary, it will increase the costs. In order to build a factory, the owner has to spend the money to buy land, establish the buildings and hire many workers.

In conclusion, there must be some other reasons causing the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry but not the reasons offered in the passage.

kathryn慕云UID: 2638683

首先，谢谢你对我的点评哈。。。
我第一次点评别人的作文，所以有不对的地方请多多指正。
The lecture completely refutes the passage. It is said in the lecture that the three reasons mentioned in the passage have some flaws. 可以说的更具体一点，提及到transition最好。The advances in technology, the stronger legal protection for private property or a desire to reduce production costs are not the real reasons cause the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry.在说明这三个错误观点时是不是得说明一下是教授说的，虽然在前面提到了。

Firstly, the professor in the lecture points（我也不知道该用什么时态） out that the advances in technology is not the major force causing the transition. In order to increase the productivity, the factory always hired more workers, not used the machine. What's more, in the early age, the machines were not used widely, and the steam engines became widely used later. 这个蒸汽机什么的我没听出来！

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Secondly, in the lecture, the professor reasons that the stronger legal protection for private property not causes the transition. During that time, the similar laws protected the private property were also established in other places, but the transition does not occur in those places. So the establishment of a stronger legal does not necessarily cause transition.# r9

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Finally, the professor says that more from cottage production to factory production can not reduce production costs. On the contrary, it will increase the costs. In order to build a factory, the owner has to spend the money to buy land, establish the buildings and hire many workers.

In conclusion, there must be some other reasons causing the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry but not the reasons offered in the passage。后面总结还是蛮好的。




，向你好好学习哈。。。

rachel1102UID: 2657934

9.3 是否同意，年長的朋友的建議比同年紀的 advice 更要valuable
写的不好，感觉没话说，写的很费劲。求猛批~辛苦大家了。
Which kind of friends do you like to ask for advice, the elder or the yong? Different people hold different views. In my opinion, in different cases, different friends will give us different advice. So it is difficult to say whose advice is more valuable.
Elder friends have more experience than yong ones. Both the people they have faced and the problems they have solved are more than the yong friends have. So the elder friends may always give us the advice according to their experience and these advices may be more safe for us. Take the elder's advice, we may overcome the difficulties easily and safely. Take my parents for example. They often tell me to be honest, trust and friendly to other people, than I will get many friends and they will also be well to me. Parents have made a lot of friends and they know clearly that how to be a good friend. I do as they told me and it is very helpful for me. So when I have some difficulties that can be passed by the experience I will ask my elder friends for advice.
However, the yong friends live in the same era with me and they always have the same exprience as me. So they kown how to overome the difficulties and can tell me the useful advice. For example, once I failed in an exam. I really worked hard but the results is unexpected. I was so  disappointed and didn't know how to pass the exam. Then my friends gave me some advices. They tell me the suitable way to study well and finally I passed the quize. I am sure that in this situation, my elder friends can not give me the valuable suggestions, because they do not know how to help me.
In conclusion, we should ask different friends for advice in different situation. It is possible that both of their advice are useful, but we shoule choose the efficient one to overcome the difficulty

ly8768UID: 2452066

1# rachel1102

The lecture completely refutes the passage. It is said in the lecture that the three reasons mentioned in the passage have some flaws. The advances in technology, the stronger legal protection for private property or a desire to reduce production costs are not the real reasons cause the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry.

Firstly, the professor in the lecture points out that the advances in technology is(are) not the major force causing the transition. In order to increase the productivity, the factory always hired more workers, not used the machine. What's more, in the early age, the machines were not used widely, and the steam engines became widely used later.

Secondly, in the lecture, the professor reasons that the stronger legal protection for private property not causes the transition. During that time, the similar laws protected the private property were also established in other places, but the transition does not occur in those places. So the establishment of a stronger legal does not necessarily cause transition.

Finally, the professor says that more from cottage production to factory production can not(cannot) reduce production costs. On the contrary, it will increase the costs. In order to build a factory, the owner has to spend the money to buy land, establish the buildings and hire many workers.

In conclusion, there must be some other reasons causing the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry but not the reasons offered in the passage.

写的不错，要点都有了。呵呵，小作文还是比较简单啊

luke_003UID: 2660230

第一次评作文，还不知道从哪入手呀，希望能对你有些帮助，如有不对的地方，还请见谅！
Which kind of friends do you like to ask for advice, the elder or the yong? Different people hold different views. In my opinion, in different cases, different friends will give us different advice. So it is difficult to say whose advice is more valuable.第一段写的还是不错的，给出的自己的观点。
$ G  d/ {2 I$ b( E+ _4 T# XElder friends have more experience (experience 应该加s吧)than yong ones. Both the people they have faced and the problems they have solved are more than the yong friends have（这个句子的观点很好，但是表达似乎有些问题,face是面对的意思，你的意思应该是“遇到，见过”吧，more用作副词比较多，当然也可用形容词，这里more后面总觉得应该有个形容词，呵呵）. So the elder friends may always(may 和always留其一更好点吧) give us the advice according to their experience and these advices may be more safe(safer??) for us. Take the elder's advice, we may overcome the difficulties easily and safely. Take my parents for example. They often tell me to be honest, trust and friendly to other people(这句不错), than I will get many friends and they will also be well to me(??从than开始没看懂). Parents have made a lot of friends and they know clearly that how to be a good friend. I do as they told me and it is very helpful for me. So when I have some difficulties that can be passed by the experience I will ask my elder friends for advice.
2 d# P2 Y+ C6 P7 c) d+ xHowever, the yong friends live in the same era(era是时代，纪元的意思，young friends of my generation似乎更好一些) with me and they always have the same exprience as me. So they kown how to overome the difficulties and can tell me the useful advice. For example, once I failed in an exam. I really worked hard but the results is(was) unexpected. I was so  disappointed and didn't know how to pass the exam. Then my friends gave me some advices. They tell(told) me the suitable way to study well and finally I passed the quize. I am sure that in this situation, my elder friends can not give me the valuable suggestions, because they do not know how to help me.（这一段写的不错，但如果能在多用一些连贯词,效果会更好）
* M, n! h* a7 BIn conclusion, we should ask different friends for advice in different situation. It is possible that both of their advice are useful, but we shoule choose the efficient one to overcome the difficulty
总体来说，写的还是不错的，无论elder 还是young，各有优缺，给的理由和例子也很充分，存在的问题主要有一下几个吧：
1 个别句子的表达和用词，稍有欠缺，如果能在推敲一下，会更流畅和正确。
2 感觉连贯词用的太少。句子之间的联系性可以在加强一些。
3 个别小错误。比如单词的单复数，时态什么的，可能写的有点急了，呵呵。
  个人愚见，如有不妥的地方，还请海涵了，希望再接再厉，更上一层楼。嘎嘎~~~

rachel1102UID: 2657934

9.5 作为老师是与学生有好关系的能力重要，还是专业知识重要
As we know, teachers play an important role in our life. For a student, it is lucky and happy to be tought by an excellent teacher. As a good teacher, he or she should not only know the professional knowledge well, but also develop friendly relations with students. However, it is difficult to have these two advantages. In different situation, the weight of these two advantages is different.

Sometimes, teachers should have a good relationship with their students. For the teachers work in Primary schools or secondary schools where the professional knowledge is relatively easy, communicating with students is very important. Because the students in that ages would like to judge things by their feelings. It is possible that a primary student do not like to learn some subject just because he does not like the teacher. So communication is vital to both teachers and students. I can remember clearly that my English teacher in high school always talked with us, we talked about our interests, the fashion, and English. So she knew what we really need and how to teach us in right way. Finally, the examination  results of my class are excellent, and we all like English very well.

However, for these teachers teach in university, professional knowledge is more important than communication. For the university students, their character has greatly matured. They what they really need and they should make plans for their future. As a result, there is no need for teachers to supervise the student' study. On the contrary, teachers should concentrate their attention on researching the subject in order to teach students well. What's more, in university, there arestudent advisors who are responsible for the students' life and study.

In conclusion,  the weight of the professional knowledge and the relations with students depends on the situation. Teachers should know what the students need and do their best to teach the students well.

luke_003UID: 2660230

不好意思，昨天有点事，今天上午又做了点实验，评的有点晚了，望见谅！
As we know(加个all更好一些吧), teachers play an important role in our life. For a student, it is lucky and happy to be tought by an excellent teacher. As a good teacher, he or she should not only know the professional knowledge well, but also develop friendly relations with students. However, it is difficult to have these two advantages. In different situation, the weight of these two advantages is different. (开头简洁，又引出观点，很好，这点我要向你学习了，因为我写作文，开头老喜欢说很多长的废话)1 P: v# d3 \6 W2 \
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Sometimes, teachers should have a good relationship with their students. For the teachers work(应该用working或who work 吧) in Primary schools or secondary schools where the professional knowledge is relatively easy（where引导的意思是 这里的专业相对简单，意思是很好的，但用where引导表地点的定语从句去说明primary school的知识简单似乎有点不太合适，因为实际上你的意思是 在初中小学阶段，知识相对简单，而不是在那个地点知识就简单了，用一个表时间的会不会更好呢，比如when,呵呵，瞎说的，仅供参考。）, communicating with students is very important. Because the (去掉the更好点吧)students in that ages would like to judge things by their feelings. It is possible that a primary student do （does）not like to learn some subject just because he does not like the teacher.So communication is vital to both teachers and students. I can remember clearly that my English teacher in high school always talked with us, （and）we talked about our interests, the fashion, and English. So she knew what we really need and how to teach us in right way(写的好). . Finally, the examination  results of my class are excellent, and we all like English very well. 8 j/ ^! {! U% ~3 d

# x3 N/ q9 P2 }However, for these teachers teach(teaching) in university, professional knowledge is more important than communication(观点新颖). For the university students, their characters has greatly matured（主语用students更好些吧）. They (know) what they really need and they should make plans for their future. As a result, there is no need for teachers to supervise the students' study. On the contrary, teachers should concentrate their attention on researching the subject in order to teach students well. What's more, in university, there are student advisors who are responsible for the students' life and study(写的很好).
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In conclusion,  the weight of the professional knowledge and the relations with students depends on the situation. Teachers should know what the students need and do their best to teach the students well.
well done!还是不错的，观点很好，开头比较简洁，中间两段论述也充分，结尾稍显少了点，如果能更扩充一点会更好。有些从句的用法需注意下，比如名词性从句，（teaching和working 那里），加油~~~

gy0510150556UID: 2546647

冰，sorry, 我眼睛度数下来了，老妈不让我用电脑，今天一上网我就来了，我绝对不是说话不算数的小狗，赫赫
As we know, teachers play an important role in our life. For a student, it is lucky and happy to be tought by an excellent teacher. As a good teacher, he or she should not only know the professional knowledge well, but also develop friendly relations with students. However, it is difficult to have these two advantages（at the same time）. In different situations, the weight of these two advantages is different. hehe,是平衡写法啊，开头很漂亮。。。 写作格式按我编排的这样，段与段之间空一行

Sometimes, teachers should have a good relationship with their students. For the teachers （who）work in Primary schools or secondary schools where the professional knowledge is relatively easy, communicating with students is very important. Because the students in（of好像好一些） that ages（this range of ages） would like to judge things by their feelings. It is possible that a primary student do not like to learn some subject just （simply）because he does not like the teacher. So communication is vital to both teachers and students. I can remember clearly that my English teacher in high school always talked with us, we talked about our interests, the fashion, and English. So she knew what we really need and how to teach us in right way. Finally, the examination  results of my class are excellent, and we all like English very well.(呃，例子和上面的论述不搭啊，前面讲的是小孩感情用事，喜欢老师就喜欢一门课，但后面例子说老师沟通教课，提高考试成绩，我觉得应该写趁孩子感情用事，多沟通，多树立人格魅力，多灌输点做人的道理什么的)
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However, for these teachers teach in university, professional knowledge is more important than communication. For the university students, their character has greatly matured（mature本身就是adj）.  what they really need and they should make plans for their future. As a result, there is no need for teachers to supervise the student' study(良好关系不只是体现在监督学生吧). On the contrary, teachers should concentrate their attention on researching on the subject in order to teach students well. What's more, in university, there are student advisors who are responsible for the students' life and study说的很好，不过加上你的例子就更好了，思路很开阔，我也受益良多.8 k9 {- Z& T; B: G; f

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In conclusion,  the weight of the professional knowledge and the relations with students depends on the situation（太概括了）. Teachers should know what the students need and do their best to teach the students well.结尾最好把上面总结下
写的很流畅，最好有些高级词汇，句式也可以多变些，如强调句，倒装句，整体很不错，把我具体的意见好好考虑下，赫赫