As far as I am concern改为 as far as I concern, 我想concern不是形容词吧?:)另外,as far as 后面再加一个while,哎呀,我觉得还是去掉while吧,再加上后面的however,我就不太知道这些连词能不能一起用了。
我建议However前面改成句号,然后without them 放在句尾.
a kind of value creating process value改为valuable
我想说,换个人名字吧。印象派不止凡高一个人,你也可以说说高更Gauguin莫奈Monet什么的,反正只是一个名字而已......
关于你得Argument, 首先,because不能单独使用。也就是说,because之后不能有逗号。
Besides the sample that used in this experiment, the doctors in this experiment also have an influence on the result.我觉得是把besides后面的内容挪到the doctor之后。我怎么说呢,besides据肯定不是一个单独的句子,所以这样用逗号是不对的。