2009-9-22作业

sailwolfUID: 2448351

超时了，下次注意
9.22 工作为了快乐还是MONEY？
It is always discussed hotly whether earning money or enjoyable work is more important for working people. Actually it is a problem that has different answer when facing varied people. In my opinion, earning a high salary is more important.
Lacking money, people can hardly do their work well. Money supports our daily life in terms of what we wear, eat and accommodate, which are all necessary materials for us. People may worry about their life, if they haven’t enough money to meet these primary demands. Even the individual really enjoys his work, if his pay can not meet his expenditure, he would be difficult to devote to his work since he must be bothered by trivial matters in life. Nowadays, we witness a lot of medical graduates, especially some of them come from national famous university, embark on drug sale since it is widely known to be profitable. This isn’t strange since current people become more and more pragmatic. They realize the rule: lacking money can do nothing. So earning a high salary is the highest standard for them to select their job.
Only by earning more money, individuals can enjoy their spiritual life freely. Besides material life, people’s spiritual life can not separate from money as well. Human-being’s health relies on not only all kinds of nutrients, but the enriched entertainment. Modern people need pay more money for variety of entertainment, such as seeing films, listening to the concert, going sightseeing and so on. Rich and colorful entertainment can release modern people’s pressure and tension derived from family, work and make them maintain healthy spirit. Lacking money, people can hardly enjoy the fantastic entertainment and their life tends to be monotonous and less interesting, which is bound to be detrimental to their work. Of course, someone may argue we can take up the free recreation. Ok, we do have some free, such as games, paper card, chess and etc. However, can’t you feel that they are too old to be
intriguing. Facing so many brand-new alluring amusement, you will feel very frustrated if you can not enjoy them just for lacking money.

Our progenitors may question us: saying we have experienced much hardship and what we pursued in our whole life was work well whether how little our pay was. Why when it turns to you, you can not endure the low pay. Our progenitors lived in the out-dated era, when they have poor material and spiritual life. Directed by the belief of devotion, they do spent their whole life in the building of our nation. However, we live in a new society, which is full of colorful material and spiritual life. We have the right to enjoy our current life and we earn money for more comfortable life. It doesn’t mean we can not tolerate hard work and little pay. Instead, we have more selection and we can select things that fit for ourselves.
To sum up, we can hardly work well without enough money since we can not enjoy the current rich material and spiritual life, which is beneficial to our healthy development.

janicesaUID: 2686243

句子好长，看起来好累，层次不清楚，中间没有一些划分层次的词语，所以看起来不太明白，中式英语严重～～～

janicesaUID: 2686243

先发前两段的，我改起来好纠结～～～中式英语太严重，逻辑不清楚

It is always discussed hotly （hotly adv.大发雷霆地; 猛烈地。紧迫地, 紧紧地。）whether (如果该处是想用强调句型的话，那后面的whether就错了) earning money or enjoyable work is more important for working people.（It is always heated discussed that whether~~~） Actually ,it is a problem that has different answer (answers) when facing varied people.(Varied people have varied answers.我觉得你的句式好复杂，我语法不好也不晓得你的句式有错误没。但是建议长句后可以跟短句，这样读起来也不会累) In my opinion, earning a high salary is more important.

Lacking money, people（people who lacks money） can hardly do their work well. Money supports our daily life in terms of what (the things) we wear (wearing), eat(eating) and accommodate(accommodating), which are all necessary materials(products) for us. People may worry about their life, if they haven’t enough money to meet these primary demands. (People usually worried their lives when they haven’t enough money to get these demands)Even the individual really enjoys his work, if his pay can not meet his expenditure, he would be difficult to devote to his work since he must be bothered by trivial matters in life. （这句话太中式英语了，而且这句话的意思和前面重复了，建议改成，even the individual who enjoys his work also has such problems.）Nowadays, (开始举例的话，建议使用for example之类的引导词会比nowadays更好)we witness a lot of medical graduates, especially（太中式英语了） some of them come from national famous university, (不知道你提名牌大学的大学生干嘛，难道普通大学的出去是为了赚钱，名校出去的是为了快乐？？？逻辑貌似有点混乱)embark on drug sale since it is widely known to be profitable. （for example, a lot of medical graduates embark on drug sale since it is widely known high paid）This isn’t strange since current people become more and more pragmatic（it shows that people are more pragmatic than before ）. They realize the rule: lacking money can do nothing. (people start to realize the importance of money.)So earning a high salary is the highest standard for them to select their job.(一些人而已，讲话有点绝对了  so, when a few people select their job, they usually consider the high payment first.)

janicesaUID: 2686243

Only by earning more money, individuals can enjoy their spiritual life freely. (only后跟条件状语，应该倒装)Besides material life, people’s spiritual life can not separate from money as well. Human-being’s health relies on not only all kinds of nutrients, but the enrichedentertainment（enriched entertainment）. Modern people need pay more money for variety of entertainment, such as seeing films, listening to the concert, going sightseeing and so on.（理由太牵强了，难道没钱就不能娱乐吗？？？而且这个句子不是更加体现了快乐的重要性？？？） Rich and colorful entertainment can release modern people’s pressure and tension derived from family, work and make them maintain healthy spirit. （中式英语严重，建议使用被动语态来表述）Lacking money, people can hardly enjoy the fantastic entertainment and their life tends to be monotonous and less interesting, which is bound to be detrimental to their work.（理由逻辑错误） Of course, someone may argue we can take up the free recreation. Ok, we do have some free, such as games, paper card, chess and etc. However, can’t you feel that they are too old to be intriguing? Facing so many brand-new alluring amusement（amusements）, you will feel very frustrated if you can not enjoy them just for lacking money.（理由不对）

Our progenitors may question: Saying we have experienced much hardship and what we pursued in our whole life was work well whether how little our pay was. Why when it turns to you, you can not endure the low pay. Our progenitors lived in the out-dated era, when they have poor material and spiritual life. Directed by the belief of devotion, they do spent（spend） their whole life in the building of our nation. However, we live in a new society, which is full of colorful material and spiritual life. We have the right to enjoy our current life and we earn money for more comfortable life. It doesn’t mean we can not tolerate hard work and little pay. Instead, we have more selection and we can select things that fit for ourselves.

To sum up, we can hardly work well without enough money (这断句吧，不然句子太长了)since we can not enjoy the current rich material and spiritual life, which is beneficial to our healthy development. （不知道你想要表达什么，翻译成中文更本不通啊）
To sum up，we can hardly work well without enough money. We can use money to buy expensive things and enjoy our life. Especially, enough money is benefit to our health.  So, earning money is more important than an enjoyable work.

i888UID: 2581451

不咋地 别拽用什么难词 hotly？