[进军美利坚作文组] 如是_ivy的作文 10月3日起用此版

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.11 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

The process of development of our civilization is a history of the urbanization. More and more people flood into the city for better payments, better education and living surroundings. However, with the enlarging of the city, all kinds of problems come into our views. For instance, those, who came to the city to find a job from the country but failed, have become the major elements which threaten the safety and discipline in the town and city. Thus, some scholars argue that we should limit people's immigrations for the stability of our society. Even someone insist that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another places. While in my opinion, it is too extreme to take into acts. Moving is necessary for us in some certain circumstances.

To begin with, sometimes, it is necessary for us to moving to another place. When the circumstances are unsuitable to us, we should leave there and change to another one, no matter how long we've lived there. When the field cannot support our family any more, we have no choice but to leave. The city may be able to cover our basic living demands. When we cannot catch up with the pace in the city and cannot win the competition here, we should consider whether quit here. Even without the comfortable living condition and friends, moving to the country may provide us with another vast sky for better improvement.

In addition, moving to another place will be a valuable experience which can benefits us a lot, especially for those who have lived in the country for half of their lives. Obviously, through moving to a new place, we can see and learn some new things there so as to broaden our horizons. We will never take the subway if we live in the country all life. We will never feel the atmosphere of the quick pace in big cities all life either.  Only to staying in the fields and just coping with the wheat, vegetables all life will be a tragedy. It is the same with those who live in the city from born till death. They also will never feel the blue sky, warm wind, clear water in the country.  What instead is just to face the same white wall in the office from morning till night. While, they quite need to leave the circle they live for relieving their stress and pressure. While only through moving and traveling to different environment, can we breathe the fresh air and feel the enthusiasms during the life.

In a conclusion, moving may be the cove in the cold winter which can save our lives. It also may be the sunshine in the spring which will warm us and blow over all the unhappy things. It is a sum of treasure we should cherish instead of limit.

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

16# 如是_ivy

The process of development of our civilization is a history of the urbanization. More and more people flood into the city for better payments, better education and living surroundings. However, with the enlarging of the city, all kinds of problems come into our views. For instance, those, who came to the city to find a job from the country but failed, have become the major elements which threaten the safety and discipline in the town and city. Thus, some scholars argue that we should limit people's immigrations for the stability of our society. Even someone insist that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another places. While in my opinion, it is too extreme to take into acts. Moving is necessary for us in some certain circumstances., s- z! E# Q8 b3 R8 a( }3 K6 P4 k

# }) S' ?/ Y& [4 ZTo begin with, sometimes, it is necessary for us to moving（move） to another place. When the circumstances are unsuitable to(for) us, we should leave there and change to another one, no matter how long we've lived there. When the field cannot support our family any more, we have no choice but to leave. The city may be able to cover our basic living demands.(But 在这里加个连接词更好) When we cannot catch up with the pace in the city and cannot win the competition here, we should consider whether quit (living in) here. Even without the comfortable living condition and friends, moving to the country may provide us with another vast sky for better improvement.(最后一句有些突兀。而且感觉这一段主要是讲了应该适当的时候从城市搬到农村，另外一方面其实也可以写。)$ H$ |7 k- s) C% ?' U

* t# o  q( o1 V. R( J7 N! Q9 pIn addition, moving to another place will be a valuable experience which can benefits us a lot, especially for those who have lived in the country for half of their lives. Obviously, through moving to a new place, we can see and learn some new things there so as to broaden our horizons. We will never take the subway if we live in the country all life. We will never feel the atmosphere of the quick pace in big cities all life either. （Besides 多加一些连接词，感觉更连贯一些） Only to staying（staying） in the fields and just coping with the wheat, vegetables all life will be a tragedy. It is the same with those who live in the city from born till death. They also will never feel the blue sky, warm wind, clear water in the country（这句说的有点绝对）.  What instead(这个感觉怪怪的) is just to face the same white wall in the office from morning till night. While, they quite need to leave the circle they live for relieving their stress and pressure. While only through moving and traveling to different environment, can we breathe the fresh air and feel the enthusiasms during the life.（这里两个while看不太懂，而且感觉题目主要是说在同一个地方住，并不是说不离开这个地方，move在题目里应该有搬家的意思。）
% z4 U) t0 K) q& c; o+ g5 ~
1 ?) b6 _. H4 Q5 S3 iIn a conclusion, moving may be the cove in the cold winter which can save our lives（生动）. It also may be the sunshine in the spring which will warm us and blow over all the unhappy things. It is a sum of treasure we should cherish instead of limit.这一篇总体细节上没有上一篇那么多和精彩。而且段落中的连接词很有限，应当适当注意，多加连接词肯定没错。

heqiang_1001UID: 2607349

不好意思，才改完。
10.11 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

The process of development of our civilization is a history of the urbanization. More and more people flood into the city for better payments, better education and living surroundings. However, with the enlarging of the city, all kinds of problems come into our views. For instance, those, who came to the city to find a job from the country but failed, have become the major elements which threaten the safety and discipline in the town and city. Thus, some scholars argue that we should limit people's immigrations for the stability of our society. Even someone insist that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another places.（这些是指不应该搬家的理由么？这个怎么感觉是，移民想来，城市的native的站在自己的角度考虑而否定别人想要搬家到城市追求美好生活的愿望呢。从题目来看，讨论的应该是从自身角度出发考虑吧，一家之言恩。） While in my opinion, it is too extreme to take into acts. Moving is necessary for us in some certain circumstances.
To begin with, sometimes, it is necessary for us to moving to another place. When the circumstances are unsuitable to us, we should leave there and change to another one, no matter how long we've lived there. When the field cannot support our family any more, we have no choice but to leave. The city may be able to cover our basic living demands（meet demand? 我没见过cover demand恩，不太确定）. When we cannot catch up with the pace in the city and cannot win the competition here, we should consider whether （to）quit here. Even without the comfortable living condition and friends, moving to the country may provide us with another vast sky for better improvement. (角度比较新，我的思维还总局限在move to city。要是能把农村的优点再写细点就更好了)
In addition, moving to another place will be a valuable experience which can benefits us a lot, especially for those who have lived in the country for half of their lives. Obviously, through moving to a new place, we can see and learn some new things there so as to broaden our horizons. We will never take the subway if we live in the country all life. We will never feel the atmosphere of the quick pace in big cities all life either.  Only to staying in the fields and just coping with the wheat, vegetables all life will be a tragedy. It is the same with those who live in the city from born（birth） till death. They also will never feel the blue sky, warm wind, clear water in the country.  What instead is just to face the same white wall in the office from morning till night. While, they quite need to leave the circle they live for relieving their stress and pressure. While only through moving and traveling to different environment, can we breathe the fresh air and feel the enthusiasms during the life.
In a conclusion, moving may be the cove in the cold winter which can save our lives. It also may be the sunshine in the spring which will warm us and blow over all the unhappy things. It is a sum of treasure we should cherish instead of limit(排比和比喻恩！)写的也很好呢。都很厉害，我不知道怎么改了，呵呵……第三段逻辑稍微有些混乱，如果再有一些具体例子可能效果会更好吧

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.15 教师是否应该获得跟doctors, lawyers, business leaders一样的收入

As we all know, doctors, lawyers and business leaders are the top professions which earn the much money. While someone especially those socialists who do research on the relationship between payments and professions doubt that whether teachers should have the same level of salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders. In my opinion, even though teachers haven't got the adequate income with their contribution to the society, they still should not get the same treatment as doctors, lawyers and business leader. The level of the salary is determined by the following factors.

To begin with, the costs of the education are one of the main reasons why the treatment differs from each profession. It is obvious that to cultivate a teacher is much cheaper than a doctor, a lawyer or a business leader. For example, to be a teacher, only finishing his undergraduate education, can he fulfill his goal. What if to be a lawyer? What if to be a doctor or a business leader? To be a lawyer, to finish his bachelor degree is far from enough. He also has to get the jurist doctor degree which will cost large amounts of money himself, as well as large costs of the society. It is the same with a doctor.  Moreover, most business leaders own the MBA degree, which require them several years working experience in addition.

Besides, the treasury they create on their positions is another important criterion to evaluate their salary. There is no free lunch in the world. Thus to earn more need to create more profits for the company or the society first. As far as I know, a good lawyer in China can earn at least hundreds thousands of dollars for his office just for a big case. So it is quite reasonable for him to get high payment from his office, not to mention doctors and business leaders. While teachers are different for they do not create economic benefits for the society directly. However, those socialists claim that they have cultivated numerous elites, which have made larger contribution to the society. Nonetheless, it is quite difficult to measure by the money directly which is not in accordance with the economic principle. Thus, before given another reasonable standard to measure the salary more equally, it is not that to blame that they do not have the same level with doctors, lawyers and business leaders which obey the economic principle.

In a conclusion, in some special region, teachers, whose income even cannot cover their basic living demands, may get the unfair treatment. Whereas, considering their relatively low education costs and the direct economic contribution, they still should not have the same salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders.

时隔三天，终于写出作文了。超时20分钟。后面写的很稀烂。大家狠拍~~~谢谢啦！！

paddyhyUID: 202095

[bAs we all know, doctors, lawyers and business leaders are belong to the top professions with high income which earn the much money. While someone especially those socialists (some people 是不是就简单一点) who do research on the relationship between payments and professions doubt that whether （whether在这里是不是不需要啊）teachers should have the same level of salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders. In my opinion, even though teachers haven't got the adequate income according to their contribution to the society, they still should not get the same treatment as doctors, lawyers and business leader. The level of the salary is determined by the following factors.

To begin with, the costs of the education are one of the main reasons for the differences between different occupations. It is obvious that to cultivate a teacher is much cheaper than a doctor, a lawyer or a business leader. For example, to be a teacher, only requires undergraduate education, can he fulfill his goal. What if to be a lawyer? What if to be a doctor or a business leader? To be a lawyer, to finish his bachelor degree is far from enough. He also has to get the jurist doctor degree at a cost of extra money from himself and the society. When it comes to the doctor, it is the same. Moreover, most business leaders own the MBA degree, which require them several years
of working experience in addition(in addition 用这里感觉有点不适).& c/ L& L# p: _/ h6 N- M4 R
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Besides, the treasury/value they create on their positions is another important criterion to /used to decide evaluate their salary. There is no free lunch in the world. Thus to earn more needs to create more profits for the company or the society first. As far as I know, a good lawyer in China can earn at least hundreds thousands of dollars for his office just for a big case. So it is quite reasonable for him to get high payment from his office, not to mention doctors and business leaders. While teachers are different , they do not create direct economic benefits for the society. However, those/some socialists claim that they have cultivated numerous elites, which have made larger contribution to the society. Nonetheless, it is quite difficult to measure by the money directly which is not in accordance with the economic principle. 这里which是不是用多了点Thus, before given another reasonable standard to measure the salary more equally, it is not that to blame that they do not have the same level with doctors, lawyers and business leaders which obey the economic principle.* C. g0 u# M4 a0 i* w" s. q2 I

In a conclusion, in some special regions, teachers’ income even cannot cover their basic living demands, may get / when getting the unfair treatment. Whereas, considering their relatively low education costs and the direct economic contribution, they still should not have the same salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders. o( o8 q3 d+ j/ Z; m6 R1 i- O
时隔三天，终于写出作文了。超时20分钟。后面写的很稀烂。大家狠拍~~~谢谢啦！！

半夏之北UID: 2517498

As we all know, doctors, lawyers and business leaders are the top professions which earn the（the 感觉可以去掉） much money. While someone especially those socialists who do research on the relationship between payments and professions doubts that whether teachers should have the same level of salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders. In my opinion, even though teachers haven't got the adequate income with their contribution to the society, they still should not get the same treatment as doctors, lawyers and business leader. The level of the salary is determined by the following factors.% t  u" j5 l' K! r) G: C

To begin with, the costs of the education are one of the main reasons why the treatment differs from each profession. It is obvious that to cultivate a teacher is much cheaper than a doctor, a lawyer or a business leader. For example, to be a teacher, only finishing his undergraduate education, can he fulfill his goal. (教师只有本科的学历目前的话只能教小学生了，感觉上用学历高低来比较律师和教师不太合适，和医生比较的话会比较好, 或者可以说成学费的不同，师范类的比律师之类的学费低廉）What if to be a lawyer? What if to be a doctor or a business leader? To be a lawyer, to finish his bachelor degree is far from enough. He also has to get the jurist doctor degree which will cost large amounts of money himself, as well as large costs of the society. It is the same with a doctor.  Moreover, most business leaders own the MBA degree, which require them several years working experience in addition.$ x5 F- [4 q7 Y! U7 R8 Q/ A

Besides, the treasury they create on their positions is another important criterion to evaluate their salary. There is no free lunch in the world. Thus to earn more need to create more profits for the company or the society first. As far as I know, a good lawyer in China can earn at least hundreds thousands of dollars for his office just for a big case. So it is quite reasonable for him to get high payment from his office, not to mention doctors and business leaders. While teachers are different for they do not create economic benefits for the society directly. However, those socialists claim that they have cultivated numerous elites, which have made larger contribution to the society. Nonetheless, it is quite difficult to be measured by the money directly which is not in accordance with the economic principle. Thus, before given another reasonable standard to measure the salary more equally, it is not that to blame that they do not have the same(salary) level with doctors, lawyers and business leaders which obey the economic principle.# L7 c# V& Y( q+ w& e

In a conclusion, in some special region, teachers, whose income even cannot cover their basic living demands, may get the unfair treatment. （这一句感觉和题目没什么关系）Whereas, considering their relatively low education costs and the direct economic contribution, they still should not have the same salary with doctors, lawyers and business leaders.

语言很好，我看不出来什么问题，句式和用词都很好，很羡慕啊~~
论点应该更严谨一些~~

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.16   years from now, people will have more leisure time

My mother always told me her hard-working experience on the campus and that if I wanted to study, not enough time could never be an excuse. Admittedly, except for study and the work in students' union, I've spent countless time on the Internet, dating or shopping with friends. It seems that I have much more leisure time than my parents and most people in the past, thanks to the rapidly development of technology and science and the large improvement of our working efficiency. However, in my opinion, it cannot be applied to any circumstances.

To begin with, since the competition is much fiercer and crueler day by day, we need integrated development and acknowledge more skills for living better in the modern society. Just learning well own subjects can never cover the demand of the society, even can not make sure a good job. Till now, I still remembered that when I was 2 or 3 years old, I could play with my friends free. However, since I was 5 years old, I had to learn a lot of things, such as dancing, painting, recitation, writing, math and so forth. What I admired most during that time is just to going out with my grandfather and hearing his fantastic stories, which is usually replaced with various courses. Even though I quite disgusted the life full of courses before, I quite appreciate it for all of that which can make me outstanding in some certain occasions. While compared to me, many children today have far less leisure time due to more terrible extra courses.

Besides, we cannot deny that in spite of we relying more on the advanced technology to save much work, people nowadays have to be burdened with more responsibilities, no matter whether it is our own choice. Thus, an individual usually plays several different roles in the society. For example, a judge in China not only has to judge the cases equally, but also should be able to cope with the complicated relationships between the plaintiff and the defender. So we have to cost more time to do more things for fulfilling our responsibilities and duties. It may make no sense to ignore the increasing numbers of the cases, while just in terms of higher efficiency to deal with one case.

In a conclusion, we may be able to finish one task during one hour which people in the past had to cost one day or even one month. Nonetheless, the 11 hours or more time we’ve saved is spent on many other things, such as improving ourselves, or devoted into another case. All in all, no more leisure time left for us, for we all want to live better in the future.

在我写的是很就觉得很无语，因为两点区分不明确。但是惯性思维，驳观点驳习惯了，上手就是不同意。唉~~纠结~~大家狠拍啊

heqiang_1001UID: 2607349

10.16   years from now, people will have more leisure time

My mother always told me her hard-working experience on the campus and that if I wanted to study, not enough time could never be an excuse. Admittedly, except for study and the work in students' union, I've spent countless time on the Internet, dating or shopping with friends. It seems that I have much more leisure time than my parents and most people in the past, thanks to the rapidly development of technology and science and the large（significant, great 比large 要地道一些） improvement of our working efficiency. However, in my opinion, it cannot be applied to any circumstances.

To begin with, since the competition is much fiercer and crueler day by day, we need integrated development and acknowledge more skills for living better in the modern society. Just learning well own subjects can never cover the demand of the society, even can not make sure a good job. Till now, I still remembered that when I was 2 or 3 years old, I could play with my friends free. However, since I was 5 years old, I had to learn a lot of things, such as dancing, painting, recitation, writing, math and so forth. What I admired most during that time is just to going out with my grandfather and hearing his fantastic stories, which is usually replaced with(by) various courses. Even though I quite disgusted the life full of courses before, I quite appreciate it for all of that which can make me outstanding in some certain occasions. While compared to me, many children today have far less leisure time due to more terrible extra courses.（这段观点比较明确，例子也很贴近生活。学习。但是觉得后面的总结没有很明确的总结出，由于激烈的竞争，孩子们花费很多时间去提升自己，因此leisure time 减少了。一句话太仓促了。）

Besides, we cannot deny that in spite of we relying more on the advanced technology to save much work, people nowadays have to be burdened with more responsibilities, no matter whether it is our own choice. Thus, an individual usually plays several different roles in the society. For example, a judge in China not only has to judge the cases equally, but also should be able to cope with the complicated relationships between the plaintiff and the defender.（这个不是他的本职工作么？不是额外的responsibility 吧。） So we have to cost more time to do more things for fulfilling our responsibilities and duties. It may make no sense to ignore the increasing numbers of the cases, while just in terms of higher efficiency to deal with one case.
（这一段观点也可以：现代社会的小孩leisure time 少的原因 & adults leisure time 少的原因。但是论证过程就有些混乱了。能不能从过去人们可能只用承担家庭责任，丰衣足食即可；而现代社会中，人们的社会责任更多了，来考虑呢？比如某些人放弃个人休息时间，去做公益事业之类的。大社会大世界的责任感增强了。我写的时候并没有想到这些，看到你的文章才想了一些。这样论证就相对严密了吧，呵呵，一己之见啊。）
In a conclusion, we may be able to finish one task during one hour which people in the past had to cost one day or even one month. Nonetheless, the 11 hours or more time we’ve saved is(are?) spent on many other things, such as improving ourselves, or devoted into another case. All in all, no more leisure time left for us, for we all want to live better in the future.

语言挺丰富的，学习！但是有个别表达感觉是中文思维翻译过来的。结构和论证的问题在文中写了。总的来说还是很不错的，基础很扎实恩，向你学习！

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.19 该重视学习concepts &ideas呢，还是重视学习facts呢？

During my major study, there are two totally different styles of teaching and learning the law. The one is in the Anglo-American Legal System which attaches importance to the cases and facts more. The other one is in the Continental Legal System which pays more attention on the concepts and ideas. Since quite a lot of problems exist in the ways of Chinese educational system, many students and some professors appreciate the way of teaching and study among the Anglo-American Legal System. While in my opinion, considering the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China and the style of legislation in our country, focusing on learning the concepts and ideas should come first.

To begin with, the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China doesn't allow a reasonable background to learn the facts of law first. Since the jurisdiction in China usually concentrates more on the substantive justice so as to ignore the procedural justice, there are numerous false cases. Thus, in the U.S., the court was able to judge Simpson no guilty in the famous Simpson case, which would never happen in China. This kind of jurisdiction environment has contributed to many cases in which people were unjustly, falsely or wrongly charged. In terms of that to focus more on the facts and the single case one by one will explore large risks. Only to understand the concepts and ideas exactly first, can we avoid cases judged wrongly.

In addition, the style of legislation forces us to attach more significance to the concepts and ideas. Since the style of legislation in our country follows the Continental Legal System, which quite differs from the Anglo-American Legal System mainly based on the single case judged by the court one by one. Thus, the single case has no legal effect. It is useless to just centre on the facts. Taking the authoritative codes and concepts in the court can help us win it, instead of countless facts and cases.

To sum up, in terms of law learning and teaching, taking the jurisdiction and legislation in China, acknowledging the ideas and concepts first is more essential than the facts.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

楼主文笔不错，赞！！但自我感觉不建议把托福作文写成如此专业背景化。题目问的是general的问题，你却用special的case回答，是不是证据不够啊？嘻嘻，还是学习啦

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

25# joyceliu

joyceliu,既然来了，就帮忙改下吧

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

During->from my major study, there are two totally different styles of teaching and learning the law. The one is in the Anglo-American Legal System which attaches importance to the cases and facts more.while The other one is in the Continental Legal System which pays more attention on the concepts and ideas. Since quite a lot of problems exist in the ways of Chinese educational system, many students and some professors appreciate the way of teaching and studying among the Anglo-American Legal System. While in my opinion, considering the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China and the style of legislation in our country, focusing on learning the concepts and ideas should come first.
首段长点其他还好

To begin with, the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China doesn't allow a reasonable background to learn the facts of law first. Since the jurisdiction in China usually concentrates more on the substantive justice so as to ignore the procedural justice, there are numerous false cases. Thus, in the U.S., the court was-is able to judge Simpson no guilty in the famous Simpson case, which would never happen in China. This kind of jurisdiction environment has contributed to many cases in which people were unjustly, falsely or wrongly charged. In terms of that to focus more on the facts and the single case one by one will explore large risks. Only to understand the concepts and ideas exactly first, can we avoid cases judged wrongly.

In addition, the style of legislation forces us to attach more significance to the concepts and ideas. Since the style of legislation in our country follows the Continental Legal System, which quite differs from the Anglo-American Legal System mainly based on the single case judged by the court one by one. Thus, the single case has no legal effect. It is useless to just centre on the facts. Taking the authoritative codes and concepts in the court can help us win it, instead of countless facts and cases. 嗯..中间2段都没有例子. 说实话我没看明白. 我不是这个专业的也不理解这个背景. 对错的我评判也不是很合适. 句子很多的长句, 简单精悍的较少. 语言功底应该不错

To sum up, in terms of law learning and teaching, taking the jurisdiction and legislation in China, acknowledging the ideas and concepts first is more essential than the facts.

fish1044UID: 2190500

During my major study, there are two totally different styles of teaching and learning the law（前面有了major study了，就不需要后面的the law）. The one is in the Anglo-American Legal System which attaches importance to the cases and facts more. The other one is in the Continental Legal System which pays more attention on the concepts and ideas.(看来你们专业正好有这个对比啊) Since quite a lot of problems exist in the ways of Chinese educational system, many students and some professors（为什么students 和 professors要用不同的量词？） appreciate the way of teaching and study among the Anglo-American Legal System. While in my opinion, considering the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China and the style of legislation in our country, focusing on learning the concepts and ideas should come first.



To begin with, the contemporary situation of law development and jurisdiction in China doesn't allow a reasonable background to learn the facts of law first. Since the jurisdiction in China usually concentrates more on the substantive justice so as to ignore the procedural justice, there are numerous false cases. Thus, in the U.S., the court was able to judge Simpson no（not） guilty in the famous Simpson case, which would never happen in China. This kind of jurisdiction environment has contributed to many cases in which people were unjustly, falsely or wrongly charged. In terms of that to focus more on the facts and the single case one by one will explore large risks. Only to understand the concepts and ideas exactly first, can we avoid cases judged wrongly.



In addition, the style of legislation forces us to attach more significance to the concepts and ideas. Since the style of legislation in our country follows the Continental Legal System, which quite differs from the Anglo-American Legal System mainly based on the single case judged by the court one by one. Thus, the single case has no legal effect. It is useless to just centre on the facts. Taking the authoritative codes and concepts in the court can help us win it, instead of countless facts and cases.（这段给个例子就好多了）



To sum up, in terms of law learning and teaching, taking the jurisdiction and legislation in China, acknowledging the ideas and concepts first is more essential than the facts.

不得不承认，你的作文功底很深厚。
文章的表达很流畅，也不拘泥于形式。很多说法都很专业，不错。
内容上，我觉得你一开头就给出那两个对立理论有点唐突。为了让你的文章更加自然，或者说更加符合考试要求，你应该先从general 的角度去写。比如说你说这个问题在很多领域都存在争论，不同领域需要不同的处理方式。然后，在法律学习的领域，我们是这么处理的。然后再引出你的内容，会好的多。

这是一篇好文章，向你学习。

半夏之北UID: 2517498

My mother always told me her hard-working experience on the campus and that if I wanted to study, not enough time could never be an excuse. Admittedly, except for study and the work in students' union, I've spent countless time on the Internet, dating or shopping with friends. It seems that I have much more leisure time than my parents and most people in the past, thanks to the rapidly development of technology and science and the large improvement of our working efficiency. (连续用了两个and)However, in my opinion, it cannot be applied to any circumstances.5 I- a" a) d3 Q5 Y) ^

To begin with, since the competition is much fiercer and crueler day by day, we need integrated development and acknowledge more skills for living better in the modern society. Just learning well own subjects can never cover the demand of the society, even can not make sure a good job. Till now, I still remembered that when I was 2 or 3 years old, I could play with my friends free. However, since I was 5 years old, I had to learn a lot of things, such as dancing, painting, recitation, writing, math and so forth. What I admired most during that time is just to going out with my grandfather and hearing his fantastic stories, which is usually replaced with various courses. Even though I quite disgusted the life full of courses before, I quite appreciated it for all of that which can make me outstanding in some certain occasions. While compared to me, many children today have far less leisure time due to more terrible extra courses.

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Besides, we cannot deny that in spite of we relying more on the advanced technology to save much work, people nowadays have to be burdened with more responsibilities, no matter whether it is our own （their)choice. Thus, an individual usually plays several different roles in the society. For example, a judge in China not only has to judge the cases equally, but also should be able to cope with the complicated relationships between the plaintiff and the defender. (这是属于法官的本职工作啊，例如庭外调解什么的）So we have to cost（cost前面不能是人） more time to do more things for fulfilling our responsibilities and duties. It may make no sense to ignore the increasing numbers of the cases, while just in terms of higher efficiency to deal with one case.4 W$ K: R0

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In a conclusion, we may be able to finish one task during one hour which people in the past had to cost one day or even one month. Nonetheless, the 11 hours or more time we’ve saved is spent on many other things, such as improving ourselves, or devoted into another case. All in all, no more leisure time left for us, for we all want to live better in the future.

第二次该你的作文了，语言方面我的水平挑不出什么毛病。但是论点方面来说的话，这次的两个论点感觉上是一个意思只是分成大人和小孩了，都是写要干的事情很多所以空闲时间少了。感觉上这两个应该合起来，然后再增加一个新论点

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

10.22 The parents do not understand their children as well today as parents understood their children 50 years ago

A good friend of mine told me that when I chatted with him, I often mentioned my mom. Thus, he asked me whether she had a deeply effect on me during my growth up. I replied him "of course" without any hesitation. I am quite sure without any exaggeration that my mom is the person knows about me most in this world. However, some psychologists claim that parents may be not understand their children enough due to the more time spent for their work and the less communication with their children. I am totally against this kind of view, as least it is not suitable for me. I believe that parents today absolutely understand their parents than the ones 50 years ago for the following reasons.

To begin with, even though parents today have to burden more responsibilities on their positions, they don't have emergent basic demands to cover so that they are able to consider more the integrated development for their children, and during the cultivation for their own kids, they have more opportunities to understand more aspects of their daughters and sons. Parents usually focused more on whether their kids are hungry or whether they could get a high score during the examination. While parents today concentrate on the development on their kids' interest in addition. Just like my mom, when I was young, once she knew I liked painting and dancing, she asked the special tutors to teach me about them. In general, parents today can find and pay attention to more aspects on their kids. Thus, how could we blame them not understanding us enough?

Besides, with the rapid development of science, it provides both parents and children with more approached to understand each other. For instance, one of my friends’ mother also registered an ID in the Facebook website, so she can understand what my friend worry about and excite for everyday. While in 50 years ago, it is totally unimaginable. In the past, if parents wanted to understand what their children thought about, they usually even took some extreme measures such as stole their kids’ diaries. All of those kinds of things can be avoided and can be solved on the apparent Internet stage. As a daughter, I understand that we children also actually need to communicate with parents more. However, we usually lack a reasonable way, which can be solved today.

In a conclusion, I am quite happy that my mom can also make friends with my friends. We can talk about a lot of things related to almost every aspect, such as my dream, my anger and even my love which she rarely talked with her parents before. I believe it also the common phenomenon today.