Issue130

swiftsongUID: 2694470

赤赤kim的作业
130"A:How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society.B: Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
提纲：支持A反对B
1儿童社会化决定社会命运。
A社会化帮助孩子学会在社会中有正确行为及人际交往，以立足与社会，成为社会中的好市民，维持社会稳定。
B社会化帮助孩子形成自我的人格，从而找到人生目标及社会定位，更好的为社会贡献自己的力量，以改善及发展社会。
2我们已经学会教孩子建设更好的社会。
从古代到现代，人们就已经在教育上不断进步，并且取得在社会方面的各种成就，并且事实证明从古至今社会一直在进步。
I partially agree with the assertion from the speaker. In my view, it is of extraordinary importance
to not only the child but also society
that
the destiny of society hinges
on how children are socialized by affecting their social behavior, human communication, and most importantly, the personality formation. But fortunately, many facts have proved that we have successfully learned to raise children who can better society.

Socialization is a learning process that begins shortly after our birth .The important role of socialization is particularly evident in home rearing, during which children are socialized primarily through communication with parents and relatives. For instance,cosider every time in childhood, when children use their instinct to simulate their parents and seniors around them ,and thus they are always attempting to only accept those
values and norms to which their parents comform.This kind of imitation and interaction can , in turn, profoundly result in their normal behavior and basic interpersonal skills. Contrarily, children without such sufficient experience for healthy interaction tend to misbehave, be inhospitality, and unilaterally incompatible with society. In sum, what is virtuous of this socialization is that these lessons in a child’s upbringing have laid the first stone to establish their feet in society, as well as to grow up to be good citizens.

Socialization is also important in the process of personality formation. Although much of human personality comes from our genes, the process of socialization can mold it in particular directions through encouraging certain beliefs or value system, which would serve to establish correct goals for life and contribute to society. The telling examples of the significant function of socialization in personality shape can be seen in the formative experience of many prominent people. China’s foremost modern writer and intellectual, Luxun, had learned to observe everything in a subtle way, develop critical thinking, and especially set up the goal to save the Chinese people during his childhood in private school. There he exchange ideals with his tutors and school mates as well as witness the miserable life of the Chinese. Most people would agree that successful socialization can result in a good personality, and consequently help people profoundly better society.

Turn our attention to the speaker’s second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can improve society. In my observation, this assertion is poorly supported by empirical evidence. When it comes to education, we have already found a way to help students to gain more chances to cooperate, get in touch with society ,improve their moral standard and be more sensitive to people who are different from ourselves. The most recent quarter-century has seen great improvement in our school. The students are encouraged to do research, social work, and some kind of assignment through a collaborative efforts. More and more opportunities have been provided for experience of working as assistants for teachers, interns in enterprises, government, hospital and so forth. Besides this, there is no class discrimination any more when facing the entrance to universities since the 1970s in China, which had brought about a condition that every students could share their thoughts freely and gain greater tolerance of different viewpoints from people who have little in common with them. All of these cases have demonstrated that in our society there is a growing awareness of how to develop better education for our children; moreover we have already made tremendous effort and great progress.

In the final analysis, given the increased importance of the social ability, such as communication skills and good behavior, as well as the process of personality formation throughout a child’s whole maturation, socialization has become the key determinant to our children’s success. Although it might be painstaking for everyone to grow socialized, our education is steadily evolving into one that is more concerned about interaction, practice, morals and tolerance. In other words, we have advanced ways to educate our children to contribute to our society.

swiftsongUID: 2694470

130"A:How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society.B: Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
提纲：支持A反对B
1儿童社会化决定社会命运。
A社会化帮助孩子学会在社会中有正确行为及人际交往，以立足与社会，成为社会中的好市民，维持社会稳定。
B社会化帮助孩子形成自我的人格，从而找到人生目标及社会定位，更好的为社会贡献自己的力量，以改善及发展社会。
2我们已经学会教孩子建设更好的社会。
从古代到现代，人们就已经在教育上不断进步，并且取得在社会方面的各种成就，并且事实证明从古至今社会一直在进步。
I partially agree with the assertion from the speaker. In my view, it is of extraordinary importance to not only the child but also society [it is important/crucial to both the child and the society] that the destiny of society hinges [depends] on how children are socialized by affecting their social behavior, human communication, and most importantly[可删], the personality formation. But fortunately, many facts have proved that we have successfully learned to raise children who can better society.[ help bring about a better society.]

Socialization is a learning process that begins shortly after our birth .The important role of socialization is particularly evident in home rearing[home education], during which children are socialized primarily through communication with parents and relatives. For instance, consider[?] every time in childhood, when children use their instinct to simulate[imitate] their parents and seniors around them ,and thus they are always attempting to only accept those  values and norms to which their parents comform[这句话不通].This kind of imitation and interaction can , in turn, profoundly result in their normal behavior and basic interpersonal skills. Contrarily, children without such sufficient experience for healthy interaction tend to misbehave, be inhospitality, and unilaterally incompatible with society. In sum, what is virtuous of this socialization is that[the results of  socialization depends on] these lessons in a child’s upbringing [which] have laid the first stone to establish their feet in society, as well as to grow up to be good citizens.

Socialization is also important in the process of personality formation. Although much of human[可删] personality comes from our genes, the process of socialization can mold it in particular[correct] directions through encouraging certain beliefs or value system, which would serve to establish correct[proper] goals for life and contribute to society. The telling examples of the significant function of socialization in personality shape can be seen in the formative experience of many prominent people. China’s foremost modern writer and intellectual, Luxun, had learned to observe everything in a subtle way, develop critical thinking, and especially set up the goal to save the Chinese people during his childhood in private school[?]. There he exchange[exchanged] ideals with his tutors and school mates as well as witness the miserable life of the Chinese[可以这样并列吗？]. Most people would agree that successful socialization can result in[lead to] a good personality, and consequently help people profoundly better society. [ help bring about a better society.]

Turn our attention to the speaker’s second claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can improve society. In my observation, this assertion is poorly supported by empirical evidence. When it comes to education, we have already found a way to help students to gain more chances to cooperate, get in touch with society, improve their moral standard and be more sensitive[tolerant] to people who are different from ourselves. The most recent quarter-century has seen[可删] great improvement in our school. The students are encouraged to do research, social work, and some kind of assignment through a[可删] collaborative efforts. More and more opportunities have been provided for experience of working as assistants for teachers, interns in enterprises, government, hospital and so forth. Besides this[these], there is no class discrimination any more when facing the entrance to universities since the 1970s in China, which had[have] brought about a condition that every students could share their thoughts freely and gain greater tolerance of different viewpoints from people who have little in common with them. All of these cases have demonstrated that in our society there is a growing awareness of how to develop better education for our children; moreover we have already made tremendous effort and great progress.

In the final analysis, given the increased importance of the social ability, such as communication skills and good behavior, as well as the process of personality formation throughout a child’s whole maturation, socialization has become the key determinant to our children’s success. Although it might be painstaking for everyone to grow socialized, our education is steadily evolving into one that is more concerned about interaction, practice, morals and tolerance. In other words, we have advanced ways to educate our children to contribute to our society.


[总评：在我看来，如果按因果型题目来写，前果后因，只需攻击或同意后半句的原因吧。即：因为我们不能教会孩子建设一个更好社会的方式，所以由于孩子不能社会化而使未来社会命运堪忧。只需攻击原因即可，结果句是不能攻击的。也许你把题目看成前后句并列的结论型题目了，导致对前半句的论述过多]

charleswwfUID: 2599357

有几个地方词性有点问题:children without such sufficient experience for healthy interaction tend to misbehave, be inhospitality--应该用形容词
what is virtuous (名词)of this socialization

781758262UID: 2706549

Have we not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society? Though the speaker claims so, I am inclined to disagree with the assertion that we fail to raise children who can help bring about a better society. It is correct that some children we educated nowadays may be not talented persons in the future, but if we supply a comprehensive education, and if we find and lead some genius children, there will be many wise and qualified citizens in future society.首段应该把自己的观点都说清楚的，所以我觉得应该把孩子的社会化决定了社会的发展这个点也驳一下。
I concede that some children we educated nowadays may be not talented person in the future. Only the education does not ensure every child successful. According to a recent survey conducted at a primary school by the educators, it can be learned that only 35% students who ever graduated from the primary school can luckily get good jobs when they grow up. Many other factors such as genius, chance and assiduous, obstruct-阻碍（应该是有利于吧） individual progress.
However, education is crucial to bring up many wise and qualified citizens. In the first place, a comprehensive education can train all kinds of gifted inhabitants. In our primary school, pupils are required to study a lot of subjects like maths, science, linguistics, art etc. From these classes, students develop their ability and culture their interests. A children psychologist in my university once said (and I paraphrase):"The primary school education influences the child’s choice of his or her profession when entrancing the society. The primary school education also influences the child’s notion and judge to the society in his or her life."
这一段主要谈了education对raising children who
help bring about a better society 这个方面，但是培养一个对社会有意的人不仅仅局限于教育吧，是不是还需要让其有健康的体质等问题。
In the second place, finding and leading some genius children is also significant to obtain talented human beings. To illustrate this point clearly, Bernstein is a famous conductor in the world. Perhaps Bernstein does so well because the music is his passion. He became interested in music at the age of 10. By the time he was a teenager, he was encouraged by his parents and teachers to perform in public. Thanks to the people who find and lead Bernstein, we can enjoy his great works such as “West side story” today.
To sum up, from what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that if we supply a comprehensive education, and if we find and lead some genius children, we will raise many wise and qualified citizens. Though the issue is complex, taking into account all the dimensions of the issue discussed in the above analysis, might be the first step out of the dilemma that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.整篇文章的脉络比较清晰，语言也比较刘畅

swiftsongUID: 2694470

谢谢各位了。
b] 4# 781758262