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11.20.
今天看了三十篇其中的十篇argument。做了一些简单的笔记,大体上都是我没有理解的。纯属个人意见。
第一篇:
TOPIC: ARGUMENT206 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily Newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league softball and soccer, over 80,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league softball players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure from coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages apparently outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
WORDS: 384
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-8-1 13:58:06
In this argument, the author concludes that Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine. To support his conclusion, the author points out that over 80,000 of young players suffered injuries throughout the country last year. And he also cites that youth-league softball players reported pressure form coaches and parents in several big cities and these sports take away time for academic activities. However, the argument suffers a few flaws.
To begin with, the author falsely assumes that children under nine in Parkville suffer injuries just like those throughout the country.
First, the child in Parkville may have different interests in sports, such as basketball. (这个理由说明了什么?)Second, the author fails to provide the number of children who is under nine and suffered injuries throughout the country last year. Perhaps only a few children under nine suffered from injuries. (800,000是什么?第一句话就说的是“below the age of nine”…) Third, the author fails to prove that the children get injuries because of taking sports rather than other possibilities. All these scenarios, if true, will undermine the author's conclusion.
In addition, the author unjustifiably claims that children in Parkvill receive pressure from coaches and parents. (这句话我读起来有点怪。Will receive?) The study is interviewed in several big cities, we are not informed whether Parkville is a big city. Even assuming that it is a big city,the author still cannot apply the study to Parkville. There are maybe (?)differences between Parkville and other cities. Perhaps Parkville has stricter regulations to coaches, or perhaps the competition in Parkville is not so serious.(stricter regulation to coaches for pressing the children or….? Serious competition? 我会用severe…)
Furthermore, it is unwarranted to claim that these sports take away time from academic activities. First, we are not informed how many hours are used for sports and academic activities. Perhaps sports time is far less than the time for academic activities. Second, sports may help to do academic activities better. Without ruling out these possibilities, it is unwise to discontinue organized competition.
Last but not least, the author suggests too hastily to discontinue all the competition. Even if some competition is dangerous, some others may be good for children. Common sense tells me that children need to take sports. The disadvantage of discontinue may outweigh the advantage.
To sum up, the author fails to substantiate the conclusion that Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine. The author needs further information and reliable study to make the conclusion convincing.
第二篇:
TOPIC: ARGUMENT131 - The following appeared in an environmental newsletter published in Tria Island.
"The marine sanctuary on Tria Island was established to protect certain marine mammals. Its regulations ban dumping and offshore oil drilling within 20 miles of Tria, but fishing is not banned. Currently many fish populations in Tria's waters are declining, a situation blamed on pollution. In contrast, the marine sanctuary on Omni Island has regulations that ban dumping, offshore oil drilling, and fishing within 10 miles of Omni and Omni reports no significant decline in its fish populations. Clearly, the decline in fish populations in Tria's waters is the result of overfishing, not pollution. Therefore, the best way to restore Tria's fish populations and to protect all of Tria's marine wildlife is to abandon our regulations and adopt those of Omni."
WORDS: 314
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-7-31 21:03:35
In this argument, the author concludes that the Tria Island should abandon its regulations and adopt Omni's in order to restore its fish populations and protect all of its marine wildlife. To support his conclusion, the author cites the example of Omni Island which has regulations that ban fishing. However, the argument suffers from a few flaws. (suffer? suffer from? 都可以?)
To begin with, the author assumes too hastily that the decline in fish populations in Tria's waters should blame on overfishing.
Firstly, there are many other nature factors which would influence the fish population, such as water temperature, spaning season, extreme weather phenomenon and so forth. Secondly, the author fails to prove that the banned actions have not happened. If the water is polluted, the fish population will probably decrease. (这句话的时态语态?虚拟…)Besides, the oil may also float from other place. All these sceranios(scenarios) , if true, will undermine the author's conclusion that overfishing should be responsible for (the)decline in fish populations.
In additon, even assuming that overfishing leads to the decline in fish populations, the author falsely concludes that Tria should follow the example of Omni. The author overlooks the differences between the two Islands. There might be disparity in Island weather, water quality, fish sorts and so on. These defferences(differents) will make Omni's regulations unsuccessful in Tria. What's more, the author doesn't prove that the fish caught in Tria is within 10 miles of Tria, which will undermine the conclusion. (需不需要提到和OMNI的10miles之间的比较?)
Further more, even assuming that the Omni's regulation will success in Tria, the argument still has some flaws. First, the Omni's regulations might not be the best one. There are may be better ones such as stricker(stricter) ban on dumping. Second, the Omni's regulation cannot guarantee to protect all the marine wildlife. (又一个让步?让步的第一点看不出有什么必要性。没有衔接好。)
To sum up, the author fails to substantiate his conclusion that Tria should adopt Omni's regulations. To support his conclusion, the author should provides more information.(more information? Such as … or ?)
这两篇刚看的时候特别像,后来知道出自同一作者。模板用的几乎是一样的。
第二篇有较多的拼写错误。也不够严谨。让步得有点无厘头(原谅我不是很明白。) |
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