ISSUE13 [REBORN FROM THE ASHES] TASK ONE by bear

emteddybearUID: 2699606

2：20
521
As the developing of our sociality, the world becomes more and more globalized. Concomitantly, more and more lesser-known language are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. People, whose mother language is such kind of language, must learn the wide-used language as far as to that they want developing. That is a tendency. Nevertheless, the lost of minority languages is a big lose to our humankind's culture. So following the procedure of the whole globalization, the governments which lesser-known languages belong to should prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

Firstly, language, defined as the tool which is used to communication, is formed through a progress: first appearing in a small region, then more and more people use it, maybe at last, it becomes wider and wider used, like English, or it becomes a lesser-known language, which is talked in this issue. In any case, a kind of language just presents a kind of culture, a progress of a group of person, and also a period of history. All of this means preciousness. Any language is the edit for the nations. It is irreplaceable by another kind of language. There is no reason for such kind of thought: one language is more advanced than other language. Each language plays a important role in our human history stage. It respects that nation's culture, faith, history, and so on.

Secondly, if a language lost, it can't be recovered. That means all the human civilization behind the language will lost forever. We'll never get it back anymore. Language is the most important carrier of the civilization. Even it is translated into other language, something also can't presents the origins, such as literature. For example, can any language expresses our Chinese poetry, of course not. And at the same time, Chinese also can't act any other lesser-known language out very exactly, although it's colorful.

Therefore, the government of the countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct. I agree that maybe there is no grave economic value of that language for people of that country. So they pay all their attention to the useful language, and give up their mother language which is gradually lesser-known. It's true that for a individual present life is more important than the value of culture. But the government, the leadership of the public, should do something for such kind of situation. It's significant. Because the governments protects their countries culture under their obligations. So they should put more money and attention to their own language, for instant, giving a good pay for linguists or holding some location performances. In addition, they can put both the modern and ancient factor of the country into the education of the youth. After, they are globalized; they can introduce themselves to other people, to spread their culture, which is a good way to prevent the extinction of the minority language.

In a sum, as for their country's descendents, people should not give up their mother lesser-known language easily; as for the chief of the countries, the governments should assume their responsibilities to prevent such tragedy.

自己看完觉得很垃圾，还有很长的一段路要走

NNGREUID: 2731361

1# emteddybear

As the developing of our sociality, the world(world前要不要用the?) becomes more and more（more and more用得比较泛滥） globalized(开头第一句中文思维很明显). Concomitantly(上一句提出“全球化”的现象，然后突然出现一个concomitantly带来的结果，中间没有任何过渡句，思维跳跃性太大了), more and more（重复使用） lesser-known language are（主谓一致，建议使用word纠错功能） being lost as fewer and fewer(重复作用) people speak them. People, whose mother language is such kind of language, must learn the（X） wide-used（widely used，形容词加一个动词的用法很少见） language as far as to that(as..that--> in that) they want developing(have to develop). That(That指代比较模糊，That extinction) is a tendency. Nevertheless, the lost of minority languages is a big lose(lose能不能做名词，MW好像没有查到，请LZ确定一下) to our humankind's(X，不用这个词，也知道是人类的) culture. So following the procedure of the whole （the ... whole -->X）globalization, the(X) governments which lesser-known languages belong to(带介词的定语从句用法，请LZ再看看, to which .... belong) should(这一句话，似乎是non-sense，并不能为作T) prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

从LZ开头段的写法来看，在正文段应该围绕
1 lesser-known language消失的原因
2 lesser-known language在人类文化中的重要性

因此，我觉得，以上两点很难展开，而且主题句并不是特别明显，尤其是最后一句，是“画蛇添足”。当然LZ可能能够好地把握，那就有时间时再去LZ的下文了。