Issue207 =美丽G程小组=小组第2次作业 by猫斯基

猫斯基UID: 2607814

我的记性啊。。又忘了提纲了
1：在某一种文化中，自身独特的典礼与仪式决定了其的与众不同与文化内涵。（宗教《基督教，伊斯兰教》自己不同的教规，仪式。法律中有法庭，审判等等仪式）
2：文化的确立不仅仅包括典礼与仪式。随着社会发展，文化也是不断进步，其典礼与仪式也是不断变更的，并不是一成不变的。（历史发展历程，例子，三权分立的确立不仅仅是其当下各个组织机构的存在与运作，还有其悠久的发展历程，从洛克，孟德斯鸠，罗斯福新政等一系列发展过程。）
3：社会归属感更多的决定于社会的认同感安全感与成就感。与文化有一定关系，但是与典礼与仪式关系不大（美国文化根基不牢吧，但是人们的社会归属感不见得弱。古希腊罗马文化中很多传统规矩都流传丢了，但是文化内涵还在，所以人们的社会归属感也没见得变弱，人们的爱国情怀。）
Culture plays an important role from time to time, it helps to build our personalities, rule and integrate the community, and lead the whole society. Besides it is almost a common sense and acknowledgement that rituals and ceremonies occupy a crucial position in constructing a certain culture. However, as to the speaker's assertion that it is rituals and ceremonies that help define a culture and that people in a group will have a decreased sense of who they are once they are gone, hardly can I totally say yes to them since I think they are quite unilateral.

On one hand I concede that in a certain culture, rituals and ceremonies have decided its unique intensions and special meanings. Every kind of culture is distinguished from each other, since they have different forms, purposes, emphasis and so on. We can tell them from others by their special rituals and ceremonies just like we can tell a person by his or her unique behaviors. For example, Christianity keeps chapels and mass as their disparate rituals, they have Baptisms as their distinctive ceremony, and besides, they have Christmas Day and Easter Day as their most important festivals; however the Islam makes fast and pilgrimage as their individual rituals and ceremonies. To some extent, we can say that rituals and ceremonies are somewhat a symbolization of a culture, mostly confined by religions, laws and traditions and so on.

Nevertheless, it is not only rituals and ceremonies that have helped define a culture. With the development of society, culture moves on as well. And in order to keep pace with the movement, some rituals and ceremonies have changed all the time. Actually, if we just focus on the rituals or ceremonies, it is quite easy for us to misunderstand a culture, since they possibly do not have an everlasting rituals or ceremonies all the time. As to this supporting, we may take a look at the history of Tripartite. Tripartite is a typical representation of modern western political policy. It is not formed just over one night, from Rock, Montesquieu to Roosevelt，they all made great contributions to such a genius policy. So had its composing changed as well. Hence it is not difficult for us to find that in a culture, there does not subsist never-changing rituals and ceremonies, so to define a culture, we can not focus on such exterior forms, and instead we need to pay attention to their interior meanings.


As to the sense of the people in a certain group or society that who they are is more attributed from the sense of identification, safety and accomplishment in a society, it has some relationship with culture, however little with rituals and ceremonies. USA, as a young country with short history, and mixed culture, does not have a certain ritual or ceremony to define its culture. However, few of us can say that people living in this country have little sense of who they are. Actually from the responses of the residents after the event of 9.11, we can see that the love of a person's country, group, and society also attributes to a person's sense of who they are. And what is more, most of the rituals and ceremonies of the ancient Roma and Greece have lost with the passing of time, nevertheless, as long as the elite of the culture still exits, people there still have a strong sense of community, as a matter of fact, we never see that people there lose their sense of who they are and the society get lost in this problem.
In sum, we can not deny that rituals and ceremonies sometimes do help define a culture, apart from they else’s functions. However, the definition of a culture certainly does not limit only to rituals and ceremonies. And as to people's sense of who they are in a society, they only have something to do with the society that they are in, the accomplishments they get there, and the relationships they develop around them. Nor can we so superficially say that without rituals and ceremonies, their sense will surely decrease.

猫斯基UID: 2607814

2# 过路者 嘿嘿。多谢多谢。。我们组的作业啊。一周一次的

jessicamarineUID: 2595044

207"
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."


Culture plays an important role from time to time, it helps to build our personalities, rule and integrate the community, and lead the whole society. Besides it is almost a common sense and acknowledgement that rituals and ceremonies occupy a crucial position in constructing a certain culture. However, as to the speaker's assertion that it is rituals and ceremonies that help define a culture and that people in a group will have a decreased sense of who they are once they are gone, hardly can I totally say yes to them since I think they are quite unilateral.

首段：和我一样写的有点像argument，是立论文，说自己观点，只需要抓住题干关键点说自己想法，不用像argument那样照着题干思路走


On one hand I concede that in a certain culture（certain cultures）, rituals and ceremonies have decided its unique intensions and special meanings. Every kind of culture is distinguished from each other, since they have different forms, purposes, emphasis and so on. We can tell them from others by their special rituals and ceremonies just like we can tell a person by his or her unique behaviors. For example, Christianity keeps chapels and mass as their disparate rituals, they have Baptisms as their distinctive ceremony, and besides, they have Christmas Day and Easter Day as their most important festivals; however the Islam makes fast and pilgrimage as their individual rituals and ceremonies.（列出差异了，还有文化定义……） To some extent, we can say that rituals and ceremonies are somewhat a symbolization of a culture, mostly confined by religions, laws and traditions and so on.
好，例证丰富、充实

Nevertheless, it is not only rituals and ceremonies that have helped define a culture. With the development of society, culture moves on as well. And in order to keep pace with the movement, some rituals and ceremonies have changed（are changing ) all the time. Actually, if we just focus on the rituals or ceremonies, it is quite easy for us (可删）to misunderstand a culture, since they possibly do not have an everlasting rituals or ceremonies all the time. As to this supporting, we may take a look at the history of Tripartite. Tripartite is a typical representation of modern western political policy. It is not formed just over one night, from Rock, Montesquieu to Roosevelt，they all made great contributions to such a genius policy. So had its composing changed as well. Hence it is not difficult for us to find that in a culture, there does not subsist never-changing rituals and ceremonies, so to define a culture, we can not focus on such exterior forms, and instead we need to pay attention to their interior meanings.
有些偏，三权鼎立和ritual有什么关系，不免牵强，还有，就是结构上觉得第二段稍显突兀，不过能看出来你积累不少，加油


As to the sense of the people in a certain group or society that who they are is more attributed from the sense of identification（有点冗繁，觉得有问题，语法上，还有开头第一句最好不要这样具有挑战性）（改：as to people's sense of who they are, it is more attributed from the sense of identification), safety and accomplishment in a society, it has some relationship with culture, however little with rituals and ceremonies. USA, as a young country with short history, and mixed culture, does not have a certain ritual or ceremony to define its culture. However, few of us can say that people living in this country have little sense of who they are.Actually from the responses of the residents after the event of 9.11, we can see that the love of a person's country, group, and society also attributes to a person's sense of who they are.（明白猫想说什么，但莫名地觉得这个例子说服力不强，有点硬往上靠的感觉） And what is more, most of the rituals and ceremonies of the ancient Roma and Greece have lost with the passing of time, nevertheless, as long as the elite of the culture still exits, people there still have a strong sense of community, as a matter of fact, we never see that people there lose their sense of who they are and the society get lost in this problem.
对称例证，尤其后一个，不错。
In sum, we can not deny that rituals and ceremonies sometimes do help define a culture, apart from they else’s functions. However, the definition of a culture certainly does not limit only to rituals and ceremonies. And as to people's sense of who they are in a society, they only have something to do with the society that they are in, the accomplishments they get there, and the relationships they develop around them. Nor can we so superficially say that without rituals and ceremonies, their sense will surely decrease.
尾端总结，把各段主旨重述，但有待升华层次，这是末端应该做的，而不仅仅是重述，这点挺难的我们大家都要加强。最后一句似乎话没说完，再组织一下。


总评
这篇文章蛮难写的，猫写得不错，整体脉络把握得还可以，例证也很充实。 但是 文章各段衔接不够自然，可能是这篇文章确实很难写，语句衔接仍有上升空间，有几个例子觉得有些牵强，不自然。
总体不错，加油加油

猫斯基UID: 2607814

4# jessicamarine
美月姐姐好辛苦。。勤快的说。。
猫惭愧。。。
膜拜膜拜。。感谢感谢