12.8作文 狠批，写的一般啊，多多指教，呵呵

michael_beyondUID: 2704216

With the rapid development of society, the aspects such as printed book and television which have had great effects on society are not afford to ignore. However, of these two aspects, television undoubtedly has had greater effects on society, It is commonly said that teltvision has become an intergral part of our lives.

One enormous effect the television has had on society is that people can watch the recent news around the world in the shortest possible time. As we know the television, it is lively and specific to transmit informations to people with live report, compared with printed book it's speed in displacing information is faster than printed book. What's more people can watch various programmes on TV, such as talk-show programme and entertainment programme which enrich people's lives. It can be said that TV changed the face of society, bring with it a whole different way of life for people.

Another important effect the television has had is that it lead to significant changes in leisure lifestyle and stimulates conversation and communication. It's commonly known that the whole family eat in front of the TV, especially to watch the evening news, which has become an important part of many people's day. These happen to be times when families are together. Usually when watching a programme together, be the news, sports, or a drama series, which gives the family a natural topic of conversation afterwards, discussing chairman Hu's latest political initiative or the latest plot in their favorite TV series. These all mentioned above stimylate conversation as commenting on it and discussing it incresses one's enjoyment while watching.

In conclusion, television has had greater effects on society than printed book does, not only we can learn the news around the world in the shortest possible time but also it stimylates conversation by giving us new topics for discussion.

bixueer111UID: 2697942

With the rapid development of society, the aspects such as printed book and television which have had great effects on society are not afforded to ignore. However, of these two aspects, television undoubtedly has had greater effects on society, It is commonly said that television has become an integral part of our lives. [, j" q  P4 Q" x

One enormous effect the television has had on society is that people can watch the recent news around the world in the shortest possible time/immediately. As we know the television, it is lively and specific to transmit information我觉得是不可数的 to people with living reports, compared with printed book it's speed in displacing information is faster than printed book. What's more people can watch various programs on TV, such as talk-show program and entertainment program which enrich people's lives. It can be said that TV changed the face of society, bring (with it)可以删掉吧 a whole different way of life for people. And bring totally different world to people.  最好举个例子吧~
: ~$ W. e# V- @7 G, n, z' {2 s2 X6 J
Another important effect the television has had is that it lead to significant changes in leisure lifestyle and stimulates conversation and communication. It's commonly known that the whole families eat in front of the TV, especially to watch the evening news, which has become an important part of many people's day. These happen to be times when families are together. Usually when watching a program together, be the news, sports, or a drama series, which gives the family a natural topic of conversation afterwards, discussing chairman Hu's latest political initiative or the latest plot in their favorite TV series. These all mentioned above stimulate conversation as commenting on it and discussing it increases one's enjoyment while watching.
7 Z# d# Y; w% [. |
In conclusion, television has had greater effects on society than printed book does, not only we can learn the news around the world in the shortest possible time but also it stimulates conversation by giving us new topics for discussion.最后一句写的很好诶~O(∩_∩)O哈！


个人看法啦，我觉得句子再简洁点会更好~然后错字最好再注意下~写的蛮好的诶~
一起加油啦~~

bixueer111UID: 2697942

:mad:汗，为什么我红字没法显示了~

shiwei83UID: 2680950

With the rapid development of society, the aspects such as printed book and television which have had great effects on society are not afford to ignore. However, of these two aspects, television undoubtedly has had greater effects on society, It is commonly said that teltvision（television） has become an intergral part of our lives.


One enormous effect the television has had on society is that people can watch the recent news around the world in the shortest possible time. As we know the television, it is lively and specific to transmit informations to people with live report, compared with printed book it's speed in displacing（用diffusing更好） information is faster than printed book. What's more people can watch various programmes on TV, such as talk-show programme and entertainment programme which enrich people's lives. It can be said that TV changed the face of society, bring with it a whole different way of life for people.(这段注意论点与论据的统一。你的论点是谈新闻节目，但是论据里又出现了娱乐节目，最好能一致）

Another important effect the television has had is that it lead to significant changes in leisure lifestyle and stimulates conversation and communication. It's commonly known that the whole family eat in front of the TV, especially to watch the evening news, which has become an important part（用activity更好） of many people's day. These happen to be times（你想表达什么意思？时尚么？用trends较好） when families are together（这句的写法有点问题）. Usually when watching a programme together, (be改为such as） the news（programs）, sports（programs）, or a drama series, which gives the family a natural topic (of改为to) conversation afterwards, discussing chairman Hu's latest political initiative or the latest plot in their favorite TV series. These all mentioned above stimylate(stimulate) conversation as commenting on it and discussing it incresses one's enjoyment while watching(television).

In conclusion, television has had greater effects on society than printed book does, not only we can learn the news around the world in the shortest possible time but also it stimylates(promote.用词多样化) conversation by giving us new topics for discussion.
你的文章结构很清楚，注意句式和单词的多样性。另外，一般独立写作最好能有三条论据，如果只有两条论据，那么就有必要将两条论据再加以扩充，以达到充分论证的效果。个人水平有限，上述修改意见仅供参考！大家一起努力！

michael_beyondUID: 2704216

4# shiwei83
谢谢楼主的评语，一起努力，呵呵