独立作文：Should university students take classes in many subjects or

wandtUID: 2683895

Should university students take classes in many subjects or specialize in one subject?

In the modern world, there is a controversial issue about whether students should take a variety of subjects or just focus on a single subject. As far as I am concerned, I deem that the former choice is far advisorable than the latter and there are no less than three supporting arguments in it as rendered below.

The first and foremost reason is that, from the pragmatic angle, different subjects are mutual-beneficial and thus should be taken simutaneously. The literature courses, for instance, can be instrumental for the students' mental development and make them more creative. More importantly, the shift of subjects during the learning process can give the student a short break from the tedious study and even relieve the pressure to some extent. Whenever I jump from my long lasting and exhaustive math class to the physical class, I always feel kind of regenerated and relieved. On no account can we ignore the significance of this since it is the shift process than enable us to persist and maintain a superb mood.

Although the above reason is the most important determinant, it is by no means the only explanation. The increased value places on the idea that, in most cases, taking many subjects is also favorable for our future development. Nowadays, most of leading companies are more willing to hire talents with a broadened mind. It is the university that furnitures the students with the chance to learn various kind of knowledge, thus building a more solid foundation in the future job market. On the contrary, should we are restricted to a single subject, we might be more vulnerable when competing with others during job hunting process.

Last but not least, another essential factor that deserves a mention here is that, in a sense, more subjects mean more opportunities to contact different types of people. The ultimate result is, it can be predicted, we can find more friends who might share the same interest and hobbies with each other. Many people claim that they meet most of their friends during the education stage. Judging from this, specializing in one subject is an undeniably weak chocie since we can only meet a rather smaller amount of people or friends during the learning process.

In conclusion, although some people might still remain unconvinced, what I have analyzed above could at least make them more aware of the diverse dimensions of the issue under discussion. I feel it is sagacious to arrive that taking a vast number of subjects in university will never fail to be a wiser and safer choice.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

In the modern world, there is a (This is a very generic, weak article. It doesn't help to attract attention to what you're discussing. A better alternative would be 'one', which conveys a sense of importance.) controversial issue about whether students should take a variety of subjects or just focus on a single subject. As far as I am concerned, I deem that the former choice is far more? advisorable than the latter and there are no less fewer than three supporting arguments in it (What?) as rendered below. (You may think that this sounds very authoritative, but are 'three supporting arguments' really better than two, or less persuasive than four? My point is: is such a special mention to the number of arguments really going to affect the quality of your essay? Don't waste effort on trivial details because it may make your writing appear naive.)

The first and foremost reason is that, from the a pragmatic angle, different subjects are mutually-beneficial and thus should be taken simutaneously. The literature courses, for instance, can be instrumental for the students' mental development and make them more creative. (I don't see how this illustrates your point on 'different subjects' being mutually beneficial. You only mention 'literature courses' but not what's different from them.) More importantly, the shift of subjects during the learning process can give the student a short break from the tedious study and even relieve the pressure to some extent. Whenever I jump from my long lasting and exhaustive math class to the physical educaion? class, I always feel kind of regenerated and relieved. On no account can we ignore the significance of this since it is the shift process than enable us to persist and maintain a superb mood. (At the end of the paragraph, you should at least add something that ADDRESSES THE QUESTION, like, 'Therefore university students should take classes in many subjects.' I know, it's silly, but that's the score point of a COMPLETE logic analysis.)

(Now, pause and think for a moment: if the students can take many breaks during the study of ONE subject, and do whatever they like during the break - not necessarily another subject, note that - will that have a similar relaxing effect on the students? Is the 'shift process' the ONLY way to relax and maintain the good mood in students?)

Although the above reason is the most important determinant (This is not very much used as a word other than for its mathematical meaning - so your essay would be easier to read without it.), it is by no means the only explanation. The increased value places on the idea (I'm not sure if I get this sentence. Do you mean 'An equally important, if not more valuable idea, is that..'?) that, in most cases, taking many subjects is also favorable for our future development. Nowadays, most of leading companies are more willing to hire talents with a broadened mind. It is the university that furnitures furnishes? the students with the chance to learn various kinds of knowledge, thus building a more solid foundation (of what?) in the future job market. On the contrary, should we are be restricted to a single subject, we might be more vulnerable when competing with others during job hunting process.

Last but not least, another essential factor that deserves a mention here is that, (I would very much like to say that this whole part is plain waste - you already said 'last but not least', which already translates to 'I still have one more important point!') in a sense, more subjects mean more opportunities to contact different types of people. The ultimate result is, it can be predicted, (If you must use this, move it to the start of this sentence.) we can find more friends who might share the same interest and hobbies with each other. (I don't get your logic. Since you 'contact DIFFERENT types of people', how do you find 'more friends who share the same interests and hobbies'? Aren't these the 'same type of people' as you are? I guess you meant to say you can 'contact MORE people and therefore have a higher chance of finding MORE friends who share the same interests.) Many people claim that they meet most of their friends during the education stage. Judging from this, specializing in one subject is an undeniably weak chocie since we can only meet a rather smaller amount number of people or friends during the learning process. (I'm totally not getting the logic in this paragraph. If you meet people ONLY during classes, you can say that doing a single subject will reduce your chance of making more friends, but you sure meet people in other occasions, don't you?)

(The flaw in your logic would be more obvious if I twist the argument around like this - Doing a single subject will mean you spend less time in studies, therefore you have more time to attend social activities and interact with many more people during university, and establish a more solid, useful network even before graduation - how now would you argue again for your point? Again, think about it.)

In conclusion, although some people might still remain unconvinced, what I have analyzed above could at least make them be more aware of the diverse dimensions of the issue under discussion. I feel it is sagacious to arrive at that taking a vast number of subjects in university will never fail to be a wiser and safer choice.

(A conclusion is a place to reiterate your points and reaffirm your stand, not to boast about your analysis. Saying that your analysis shows how diverse the problem is doesn't help to convince your reader that your conclusion is valid.)

总结：

你的文章是典型的看起来很美但是实际上经不起读的文字。语法上主要的问题是单复数。遣句用词方面有放水的倾向，明明很简单可以说明白的东西，会用一些奇怪的大词写成比较花俏的表达。。或者写一些没有实际意义和用途但是看起来很牛B的句子。。或者在模板没有办法帮你的地方不经意地犯些比较低级的用词错误。逻辑方面不严谨的地方在文内已经都指出了。

个人觉得你需要注意一下语言中放水的倾向。不太厚道地说，读你的文章感觉是在打官腔。。上等的文章应该是每一个词都有它的用意，都能在让读者马上明白作者的意思的时候还传达出一些它本身含义之外的‘余韵’，而不是让读者费了半天劲才明白哦原来你说的什么什么什么什么不就是那个什么嘛的感觉。。

wandtUID: 2683895

恩，很中肯的建议，我会好好总结修改的，多谢点评！