ISSUE11球拍

hudu464UID: 2512268

TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

WORDS: 613
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-12-20 14:43:03

A global university as a proposed attempt to solve social problems, however attractive, has to wait until we examine whether effective solutions could be connived within a global university, if it is even possible to establish one.

Admittedly, a considerable proportion of world's most persistent social problems like global warming respects no boarder and thus urges negotiations and cooperation among countries. Responsible agencies in the international community turn out to be less effective as we expect. A global university is an attractive proposal given the open mind and change-making capacity of passionate and creative young people. Whether these potentialities could be transformed to improved environment or lifted poverty in a global university, however, is ostensible if we refer to the contribution made by young people to social problems in some leading universities. A myriad of social sciences in university, especially in graduate school, requires a global view and active mind from the students to engage themselves into solving some particular persistent social problems. To achieve this goal, varied methodologies like field-trip, case study and assimilated conference are adopted. Correspondent curriculums and methodologies, however well designed, rarely produce effective answers towards the world's most persistent social problems though numerous brave attempts have been made. The complexity of these problems could not be addressed within a U.N report studied at class or short term practice in that particular area. Take International Education development as an example, students in this major are expected to understand persistent education problems like universal accessibility of primary education and discrimination against women. They studies annual report from UNESCO and spent time teaching voluntarily in those destitute areas, in which cases they only began to understand the complexities involved instead of striding to solve that. Given a reality check, we could find that those emerged solutions which turn out to be effective like Micro Finance invented by Muhammad Yunus went far beyond the universities, regardless how prominent or experienced the teachers are. Finding solutions to these persistent problems are anything but easy work. It requires not only creativity but also the ability to adapt it into solving real problems, not only passion to change but also a strong mentality to face resistance and rejections. Skills and wisdoms would not be adequately delivered within universities.

Though limited, cases of college students who achieved certain solutions to alleviate at least one facet of a complicated persistent social problem do exist. Whether a global university, if possible, would increase the number of these cases depends largely on how cooperative all nations as a university could be. For the world's most persistent social problems, each nation prioritizes different issues according to its respective situation. What perceived as number one persistent social problems in developing countries like poverty does not get equal attention in developed countries. Disputes are abound to arise when distributes funds to different curriculum in the global university. Interconnected as we are, the international community is far from being able to unify into a global university to solve problems. Even the most widely recognized problem like climate change could barely forge a deal in Copenhagen, let alone other controversial ones. This dubious efficiency of a global university indicates the resources and capital invested could be better allocated in improving current international programs, whether in or outside universities.

As presented in my analysis, it is safe to draw a conclusion that a global university could not be effective enough to address the world’s most persistent social problems unless a widely shared consensus and mutual trust is achieved in the international community. Any successful solution to these problems requires not only passion and creativity from young people but also experience and tactics from experienced ones.

                        

plukaUID: 2721764

A global university as a proposed attempt to solve social problems, however attractive, has to wait until we examine whether effective solutions could be connived within a global university, if it is even possible to establish one. 
（connive:1 : to pretend ignorance of or fail to take action against something one ought to oppose  *the government connived in the rebels' military buildup*2 a : to be indulgent or in secret sympathy  : WINK  b : to cooperate secretly or have a secret understanding 3 : CONSPIRE, INTRIGUE  *accused his opponents of conniving to defeat the proposal*貌似略带贬义，此处换个词吧，或者用proposed或者suggested？）

Admittedly, a considerable proportion of（单复数看指代，social problems+复数谓语） world's most persistent social problems like global warming respects no boarder and thus urges negotiations and cooperation among countries. Responsible agencies in the international community turn out to be less effective as we expect. A global university is an attractive proposal given the open mind and change-making capacity of passionate and creative young people. Whether these potentialities could be transformed to improved environment or lifted poverty in a global university, however, is ostensible（说是ostensible，但到底是有还是没有啊） if we refer to the contribution（贡献，是暗示有么？） made by young people to social problems in some leading universities.（跟着此句的暗示，期待下文将是解释那些contribution是啥） A myriad of social sciences in university, especially in graduate school, requires a global view and active mind from the students to engage themselves into solving some particular persistent social problems. To achieve this goal（到这句却由解释contribution的内容转向了‘达成contribution的方法’）, varied methodologies like field-trip, case study and assimilated conference are adopted. Correspondent curriculums and methodologies（方法论，包括前面的实习考察么？那岂不是说那些field-trip, case study也没用？那到底是有贡献还是没贡献啊）, however well designed, rarely produce effective answers towards the world's most persistent social problems though numerous brave attempts have been made. The complexity of these problems could not be addressed within a U.N report studied at class or short term practice in that particular area.（至此，观点出来了：没法解决问题。但读者要找出这个观点一路经历了误解与猜测……从ostensible就开始猜测哪里ostensible了，从contribution就开始误解以为能解决问题……建议观点一定要清楚地给出来，不要模糊、引发歧义的暗示） Take International Education development as an example, students in this major are expected to understand persistent education problems like universal accessibility of primary education and discrimination against women. They studies annual report from UNESCO and spent time teaching voluntarily in those destitute areas, in which cases they only began to understand the complexities involved instead of striding to solve that. Given a reality check, we could find that those emerged solutions which turn out to be effective like Micro Finance invented by Muhammad Yunus went far beyond the universities, regardless how prominent or experienced the teachers are. Finding solutions to these persistent problems are anything but easy work. It requires not only creativity but also the ability to adapt it into solving real problems, not only passion to change but also a strong mentality to face resistance and rejections. Skills and wisdoms would not be adequately delivered within universities.
本段指出全球性弊病的复杂程度非大学能处理。最大的问题，如文中标出的，是观点的提出——太靠后了。虽然ostensible句靠前，但没有给出一个真正明确的观点！另，本段头两句（需要国际合作、现有国际组织没成果）与后文其实没有太多联系——后面论述的主要是大学不可靠，没提到多少国际合作。鉴此，不妨再直接一点，开门见山地点出观点，或者至少给出明确的相关背景。

（转折）Though limited, cases of college students who achieved certain solutions to alleviate at least one facet of a complicated persistent social problem do exist（注意，这是个正面观点，即承认全球大学有用）. Whether a global university, if possible, would increase the number of these cases depends largely on how cooperative all nations as a university could be. For the world's most persistent social problems, each nation prioritizes different issues according to its respective situation. What perceived as number one persistent social problems in developing countries like poverty does not get equal attention in developed countries. Disputes are abound to arise when distributes funds to different curriculum in the global university. Interconnected as we are, the international community is far from being able to unify into a global university to solve problems. Even the most widely recognized problem like climate change could barely forge a deal in Copenhagen, let alone other controversial ones. This dubious efficiency of a global university indicates the resources and capital invested could be better allocated in improving current international programs, whether in or outside universities.（到这里变成反面观点了，即认为大学没用）
again，要注意sustain a point!本段首句是证明，后面的例证却是反面，到段尾就成反面结论了……

As presented in my analysis, it is safe to draw a conclusion that a global university could not be effective enough to address the world’s most persistent social problems unless a widely shared consensus and mutual trust is achieved in the international community（bluntly, I didn't get this clearly）. Any successful solution to these problems requires not only passion and creativity from young people but also experience and tactics from experienced ones.
全文：T（要先检查效果才能决定是否需要全球大学）——>B1（全球性弊病的复杂程度非大学能处理）——>B2（大学没用）——>结论
建议是观点要明确、容易找，然后hold it all along the paragraph! 私以为本文B1和B2段的区分度不太够，两段结论都是大学没用，侧重点分别是什么呢？貌似B1是问题的复杂性，B2是国家间的矛盾——这个矛盾跟复杂性之间的界定是否有些模糊……
加油！
平安夜快乐~！圣诞快乐~！

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