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[活动] 卷卷的独立作文~~~2009.1.3起 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-11 17:30:11 |只看该作者
1.11. The expression "Never, never give up" means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.




It is broadly accepted that becoming a successful man is not a piece of cake. However, in my opinion, successful people share a common characteristic that is perservence. No matter what difficulties they may encounter, the most adamant faith they own is keeping trying and never stop working for their goals.


Take a look at the modern society, success is always clasped by minority people. Because most people haven't gotten strong spirits and get a realization of extremely hard working before arrive their destination, they quit every since coming across challenges. When I was in high school, the only dream I have is to enter a famous college. I still remember those days, I got up at 6:00 in the morning, and went to bed at 11:00 in the night. And I almost didn't spare anytime for entertainment. When I felt tired, I went to internet to see my dream college's website, and remained myself to hold on. I encourage myself with my imaginable life in that college. Finally, I realize my goal by keeping working, and never stop working.


Some people may argue that if someone's goal is coincidently set by mistake? I consider that's not the important part on the roads towards success. I remember deeply that one of my sister didn't study well when in her college times. Her parents wished she could be a doctor someday, but herself would rather choose performance as her major. Dispute occurs, finally she was forced to pick up the medicine major. After several days of boring study, she nearly give up all the compulsory courses related to medicine. It was a pity for her to strive for a goal that she didn't like at the beginning. But she didn't give up her favorite. She chose all the courses in action from her third year in college. At last, she made an important decision to quit school. Her parents were very mad at her in that time. However, abandon medicine didn't mean abandon life. She began to work at a performance agency, after several years' training with abundance experiences, she became a noted actress. This story told me, even if one person's first object is not perfect, it can't be an excuse for he to abandon dreams. What he really should do is keeping working out another way to get close to the goals.

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I deem that we should keep trying to figure out a way to attain our goals. Once we give up, the dream would not be touched anymore, so never stop working for your goals.

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发表于 2010-1-11 22:41:19 |只看该作者
In China, majority children spend their precious 3 years from aged 15 to 18 in high schools. The most significant decision may impact their future lives is to choose an appropriate college or make a decision of going to college or not. I dare to say that is actually the first decision we are about to make, for it possibly leads a variety of living ways. Clearly, the lives belong to teenagers', then the choices will go to their hands. Even some parents claim that they've got abundance experiences, and they know better how to deal with the modern society through learning particular skills in college. However they only adhere to their own appreciations. According to the different circumstance while growing up, such as tremendous change of science and technology, rising material level conditions, or promoted education in psychology, teenagers may figure out a new way leading to success without attending college which seems not to be traditional. Every road reaches Roma, I deem that teenager's intention should be respected.
' U, G6 E3 \2 P  n
Nevertheless, ages between 15 to 18 years-old are also regarded as a rebellious times for teenagers. Once parents insist to do the decision, for example, they set a goal of being a doctor for their children, and force they(them) to pick up a medical major by neglecting the real thing their children hope to do, like art. The consequence probably occurs, after a failure in persuasion of giving up the difficult object, a teenager may adopt another measure to oppose that, by learning bad on purpose, talking with hatred attitude or so.(This sentence is too long to indicate the meaning clearly!) If this event comes to an introvert child, a more depressive mood could influence him. Undertaking a long-time enduring, an introvert child may crush in the end. For(In) this situation, suicide is the worst behavior should be avoided(It should be avoided suicide which is the worst behavior, I think this structure would be better).

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I maintain that parents or relatives should not play a crucial role in making important decisions for their older children. The only way parents will help is to be guiders who assist their children to find their own manner of lives.

个人总结:值得一提的是:楼主的词汇让我刮目相看!
1.楼主很喜欢用长难句,而且感觉乐此不疲,也许我能力有限,某些长句需要好几遍才能读懂,个人认为长难句应该是点缀而不是主体。
2.这种结构的文章我见得不多,不知道这样的结构能否起到楼主希望的效果。给人一种头重脚轻的感觉。
3.还有一个值得注意的地方:楼主的用的定语从句中,从来不加which or that,虽然这样不加没错,但是感觉这样不native!
4.以上为个人意见,错误之处还望见谅!

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发表于 2010-1-11 23:10:24 |只看该作者
Parents always consider their children as little babies, even when they grown up to 15 to 18 year-old. However, I hold that teenagers, especially as old as aged 15 to 18, should form their own ideas. Thus, parents or other adult relatives are not supposed to make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children.

In China, majority children spend their precious 3 years from aged 15 to 18 in high schools. The most significant decision may impact their future lives is to choose an appropriate college or make a decision of going to college or not. I dare to say that is actually the first(important, 这样更严谨一点)decision we are about to make, for it possibly leads a variety of living ways. learly(?), the lives belong to teenagers', then the choices will go to their hands. Even some parents claim that they've got abundance experiences, and they know better how to deal with the modern society through learning particular skills in college. However they only adhere to their own appreciations. According to the different circumstance while growing up, such as tremendous change of science and technology, rising material level conditions, or promoted education in psychology, teenagers may figure out a new way leading to success without attending college which seems not to be traditional. Every road reaches Roma, I deem that teenager's intention should be respected

Nevertheless, ages between 15 to 18 years-old are also regarded as a rebellious times for teenagers. Once parents insist to do the decision, for example, they set a goal of being a doctor for their children, and force they to pick up a medical major by neglecting the real thing their children hope to do, like art. The consequence probably occurs, after a failure in persuasion of giving up the difficult object, a teenager may adopt another measure to oppose that, by learning bad on purpose, talking with hatred attitude or so. If this event comes to an introvert child, a more depressive mood could influence him. Undertaking a long-time enduring, an introvert child may crush in the end. For this situation, suicide is the worst behavior should be avoided.

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I maintain that parents or relatives should not play a crucial role in making important decisions for their older children. The only way parents will help is to be guiders who assist their children to find their own manner of lives.

卷卷的文章写得很好,遣词造句,思路都属上乘水平。
限于本人的水平,只能修改一点点,囧

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发表于 2010-1-12 17:09:09 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 poplinda 于 2010-1-12 17:11 编辑

It is broadly accepted that becoming a successful man is not a piece of cake. However, in my opinion, successful people share a common characteristic that is perservence perseverance. No matter what difficulties they may encounter, the most adamant faith they own is keeping trying and never stop stopping working for their goals.

Take a look at the modern society, success is always clasped by minority people. Because most people haven't gotten strong spirits and get a realization of extremely hard working before arrive their destination, they quit every since coming across challenges. When I was in high school, the only dream I have is to enter a famous college. I still remember those days,during the period I got up at 6:00 in the morning, and went to bed at 11:00 in the night. And I almost didn't spare anytime for entertainment. When I felt tired, I went to internet to see my dream college's website, and remained myself to hold on. I encourage myself with my imaginable life in that college. Finally, I realize my goal by keeping working, and never stop working.

Some people may argue that if someone's goal is coincidently set by mistake? I consider that's not the important part on the roads towards success. I remember deeply that one of my sisters didn't study well when in her college times. Her parents wished she could be a doctor someday, but herself would rather choose performance as her major. Dispute occurs, finally she was forced to pick up the medicine major. After several days of boring study, she nearly gives(小细节)up all the compulsory courses related to medicine. It was a pity for her to strive for a goal that she didn't like at the beginning. But she didn't give up her favorite. She chose all the courses in action from her third year in college. At last, she made an important decision to quit school. Her parents were very mad at her in that time. However, abandon medicine didn't mean abandon life. She began to work at a performance agency, after several years' training with abundance experiences, she became a noted actress. This story told me, even if one person's first object is not perfect, it can't be an excuse for he to abandon dreams. What he really should do is keeping working out another way to get close to the goals.' u5 ?  i1 N
Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I deem that we should keep trying to figure out a way to attain our goals. Once we give up, the dream would not be touched anymore, so never stop working for your goals.


作文读起来很顺,第二个例子很好:体现出为了实现目标永不放弃,最终成功。
看到有的提纲把它写成:同意要为自己目标不放弃 1,在学习中不放弃2,在工作中3,生活中。

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发表于 2010-1-12 17:28:31 |只看该作者
1.12 Some people like to travel with a companion. Other people prefer to travel alone. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.



In my opinion, take a trip severs as a process to find the beauty of nature or one of the ways to relax ourselves. So, I prefer to choose traveling with a companion, in order to share the wonderful time together.


First and foremost, I will not feel lonely when traveling with a companion. As we all know, it can't be avoided that nearly half of the trip time is spent on the transformation. For example, when I studied in college which located in Hefei, one of my great interests is going out to release myself every weekend. And I remember a two-day journey to Shanghai with my best friend. We chose to take trains for its convenience and advantage of price, but it cost us about 8 hours on the way. Fortunately, we had a long talk, referring every aspects coming to minds. After arrival, we kept traveling by subways, or buses to various destinations. I want to emphasis that the traffic of Shanghai was not very well for its large population, but thanks to the accompany of my friend, I never felt a little big boring. Furthermore, whenever we saw a fascinated natural beauty, we could communicate immediately.


Additionally, travelling with a companion will make things easier, and probably make me feel safer. As a girl, it is admittedly that dangers may incidentally occur when I walks alone in a strange city in the night. However, sometimes I had to take a night train or bus on schedule. As for me, if I was doing these things with a companion by my side, I would not scare anymore. Besides, a companion can always give some suggestions. For instance, nowadays, once people want to take a trip, they opt to search a detailed routine on the internet. But the information is so much that a person can't guarantee that what he found have already referred to every aspects of the travel lines, such as price of a park, bus lines, and an appropriate restaurant. Preparing works can be lessened if he has a companion on the journey. And I deem two persons' information about the destination is obviously more than one person's.

Finally, I always find that every time when I finish a trip with one of my companion, our friendship seems better than before. Maybe it is ascribed to the same scenes or experiences we undergo, which give us a similar feeling. Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I'd like to travel with a companion.

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发表于 2010-1-13 16:46:23 |只看该作者
30min内写完的,字数280多个字,离目标还差100多字。。


1.13 Many parts of the world are losing important natural resources, such as forests, animals, or clean water. Choose one resource that is disappearing and explain why it needs to be saved. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.


Due to some inevitable natural causes like forest fire and other man behavior such as cutting trees on a large scale, our precious natural resource, forest, keeps disappearing. Whether people notice it or not, it has been becoming such a big disaster for human, especially produces a severe impact on our further life.

With the development of science and technology, modern society maintains an increasing path on advancement. At the same time, it brings in some bad consequences, like the unlimited use of cars. Nowadays, oil seems to be the major source the cars need, and obviously carbon dioxides which discharged by cars is regarded to be the NO.1 hazard made on environment. Then, temperature rises according to the abundance of carbon dioxides. Finally, global warming effect is produced. In my opinion, the most efficacious way to deal with this problem is to plant so many trees. As we know, trees have the function to turn carbon dioxides to oxides. A large area of forest will help us solve this problem.

Additionally, disappearance of forest will lead to the loss of diversity of animals too. It is apparent that shrinking areas of forest will expose more habitats of various animals. Once the homes of animals are destroyed, where should they go? Furthermore, since every animal locates in a food chain, one particular type of animal's extinction will easily lead to another one's degradation. If we can't take any measures to stop this trend, more and more species will probably die away. And the worse aftermath will be a extinction of our human beings.

In conclusion, I think we should do our best to protect forest, since its most importance to us.

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发表于 2010-1-13 23:30:41 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 eddie23508ok 于 2010-1-13 23:35 编辑

Due to some inevitable natural causes like forest fire and other man (human) behavior(s) such as cutting trees on a large scale (是想表达“大范围”吗?如果是的话介词个人感觉用in比较合适), our precious natural resource, forest, keeps (is)disappearing. Whether (No matter) people notice it or not (这里应该用现在完成时,have noticed it or not), it has been becoming(这里没有必要用完成进行时吧,直接用进行时或者直接用完成时就可以了) such a big disaster for human, especially (感觉这里突然用个especially有点奇怪,其实用一个简单的and就可以了) produces a severe impact on our further (future)life.$ O7 J: B6 W: H, Z1 K+ l6 C
" N0 F' T8 d, |

With the development of science and technology, modern society maintains an increasing path on advancement (这句话感觉读起来有点别扭,有点复杂化了,其实可以简单地说modern society maintains a rapid pace foward). At the same time, it (however, also这里加入一个转折是否更合适呢?) brings in some bad consequences, like the unlimited use of cars. Nowadays, oil seems to be the major source (energy supplier) the cars need, and obviously carbon dioxides which (which删去,变成分词结构)discharged by cars is regarded to be the NO.1 hazard made on (to)environment. Then, temperature rises according to the abundance (increasing content) of carbon dioxides. Finally, global warming effect is produced.(个人感觉没有必要重新起一句,可以用非限定性定语从句进行说明即可:,which finally result in green house effect) In my opinion, the most efficacious way to deal with this problem is to plant so (为什么要用so呢?) many trees. As we know, trees have the function (可以直接说are capable of turning….)to turn carbon dioxides to oxides. A large area of forest will help us solve this problem.

Additionally, disappearance of forest will lead to the loss of diversity of animals too. It is apparent that shrinking areas of forest will expose
(不是暴露吧,应该说ruin)more (个人感觉没必要用比较级) habitats of various animals. Once the homes of animals are destroyed, where should they go (用live是否更合适?)? Furthermore, since every animal locates in a food chain, one particular type of animal's extinction will easily (不是容易,而是必然,应该用inevitably)lead to another one's degradation (threat to the survival of other species). If we can't take any measures to stop this trend, more and more species will probably die away. And the worse aftermath will be a (the) extinction of our human beings.% m' G9 {9 U) y7 X1 X+ t6 _

In conclusion, I think we should do our best to protect forest, since its most importance to us.



LZ的文章逻辑顺畅,使人读起来内容一目了然,展开得也比较好,但是遣词造句方面希望进一步斟酌,特别是思考尽可能用英文的逻辑进行思考。另外有些话可以简单说明,其实没有必要使其复杂化。如果有什么说得不对的地方欢迎一起讨论。加油!!
已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
shirley072 + 1 多谢!

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发表于 2010-1-14 17:19:48 |只看该作者
30min没写完呢:mad: 写到第二段还不到一半的时候就到了,完了,我瓶颈了

1.14. Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


As far as a I am concerned, computer have made our life easier and more convenient, for one click could help us out of troubles or solve our problems as soon as possible.


It is undeniable that with the emergence of computer, more and more information turn to be stored electronically, for computer's tremendous and in principle unlimited storage space. Whenever one needs to check out some words or look through recently news, just click, then he will be charged with abundant information. Compare to the old days, if someone didn't know how to spell a word, he would certainly look up in a paper dictionary or ask someone else, but computer severs us as a convenient tool by simply inputting the word and clicking, the optional answers will come into the screen soon. Furthermore, with the assistance of internet, people can collect professional materials related to biology, math, medicine and so on, which means, you can learn everything you prefer through a computer without always carrying so many heavy books.


Additionally, accompanied by the development of electric business, we can get whatever we like only by sitting in front of a computer. For example, there's a famous website in China named TAOBAO, which provides a platform for commerce exchange. Once we want to buy clothes while don't want to squeeze to the crowded shopping mall, the best method is to check this website through computer, pick up our favorite, and buy things by using our internet bank account. In a short, after a series clicks we can harvest some new clothes. And thanks to the computer, we can even buy lots of things produced overseas, like chocolate in German, makeup in America, and souvenir in Africa. What a wonderful feeling! Try to imagine how should we get these without computer? Well, some people may argue that one can still fulfill his dreams of owning a rear and value Zippo lighter in American, by pleading his friends to bring him. However, if he doesn't have such a friend? Let alone how many days the transport may cost. In short, computer will make his inclination easier to attain by dealing indirectly through the computer.

Indeed, computer brings us more and more advantage by large number of portable materials and information. Also, some other new things are exploited as byproducts. Like electronic business I mentioned above, which undoubtedly promote the quality of people's life. What's more, I believe the widespread use of computer will facilitate other electronic industry's prosperities. So I hold that computer create a world where our life become easier and more convenient.

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发表于 2010-1-14 22:20:51 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 love_bingjing 于 2010-1-14 23:10 编辑

1.13

Due to some inevitable natural causes like forest fire and other man (human) behaviors such as cutting (chopping down) trees on a large scale, (one kind of) our precious natural resource, (namely) forest, keeps (faces the danger of)disappearing. Whether (no matter) people notice (have noticed) it or not, it has been becoming (has already become) such a big disaster for human (beings), especially (and) produces a severe (extremely adverse) impact on our further (可以不要) life.

With the development of science and technology, modern society maintains an increasing path on advancement (along with the advancement of science and technology, modern society is also experiencing rapid development). At the same time, (however) It brings in (about) some bad (unpleasant)consequences, like the unlimited use of cars. Nowadays, oil seems to be the major source (of energy to provide the car with power) the cars need, and obviously carbon dioxides which discharged by cars is regarded to be the NO.1 hazard made on (to) environment. Then, temperature rises according to the abundance (as a result of the large amount) of carbon dioxides (on the atmosphere). Finally, global warming effect is produced. In my opinion, the most efficacious way to deal with this problem is to plant so many trees. As we know, trees have the function (contribute directly) to turn carbon dioxides to oxides. A large area of forest will help us solve this problem (plays a vital role in preventing global warning from happening).

Additionally, disappearance of forest will lead to the loss of diversity of animals too. It is apparent that shrinking areas (the decrease) of forest will expose (destroy) more habitats of various animals. Once the homes of animals are destroyed, where should they go? Furthermore, since every animal locates (fits) in a food chain, one particular type of animal's extinction will easily lead to another one's degradation (leave another one vulnerable to environmental change). If we can't take any measures to stop this trend, more and more species will probably die away. And the worse aftermath will be a (the)extinction of our human beings.

In conclusion, I think we should do our best to protect forest, since its most importance to us.

注意词的使用,句子与句子的衔接感觉不是很好。 以后的题目是不是应该在分类机经里出啊,那样感觉更有针对性一些

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发表于 2010-1-15 09:24:35 |只看该作者
1.14. Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer./ u9 b" n4 C+ I: l
+ s2 T: [) A9 b, S4 }
5 J: |9 t& }- Z+ R) s; e, m

As far as a I am concerned, computer have (has) made our life easier and more convenient, for (缺少主语,去掉for,加上just) one click could (would) help us out of troubles or solve our problems as soon as possible.
?( |; E- P

It is undeniable that with the emergence of computer, more and more information turn (为什么要用turn to be呢?直接用can be不是更好吗?) to be stored electronically, for computer's tremendous and in principle unlimited storage space.(第一个句子读起来不是那么的顺畅,意思也不是很明白) Whenever one needs to check out some words or look through recently news, just click, then he will be charged with (这里be charged with是什么意思?)abundant information. Compare (被动式compared) to the old days, if someone didn't know how to spell a word, he would certainly look up in a paper dictionary or ask someone else, but computer severs (serves) us as a convenient tool by simply inputting the word and clicking (这里的分词结构表示主动,实际上输入信息是人的动作,不是电脑的动作,如果要使用,也是使用过去分词), the optional answers will come into the screen soon. Furthermore, with the assistance of internet, people can collect professional materials related to biology, math, medicine and so on, which means, (这里不需要用逗号断开吧,一个句子)you can learn everything you prefer through a computer without always carrying so many heavy books.
1 x+ B  n$ {2 `" h

Additionally, accompanied by  (是否用with更加合适?)the development of electric (electronic)business, we can get whatever we like only by sitting in front of a computer. For example, there's a famous website in China named TAOBAO, which provides a platform for commerce exchange. Once we want to buy clothes while (其实这里不用转折,直接and连接就好) don't want to squeeze to (into)the crowded shopping mall, the best method is to check this website through computer, pick up our favorite, and buy things by using our internet bank account. In a short, after a series clicks we can harvest some new clothes. And thanks to the computer, we can even buy lots of things produced overseas, like chocolate in German, makeup in America, and souvenir in Africa. What a wonderful feeling! Try to imagine how should (could) we get these without computer? Well, some people may argue that one can still fulfill (感觉用realize更合适) his dreams of owning a rear and value Zippo lighter in American, by pleading his friends to bring him. However, if he doesn't have such a friend? Let alone how many days the transport may cost. (这句句式值得斟酌)In short, computer will make his inclination easier to attain by dealing indirectly through the computer.) }) [/ ~* i  M" e7 S  p) z& g

Indeed, computer brings us more and more advantage by large number of portable materials and information. Also, some other new things are exploited as byproducts. Like electronic business I mentioned above, which undoubtedly promote the quality of people's life. What's more, I believe the widespread use of computer will facilitate other electronic industry's prosperities. So I hold that computer create a world where our life become easier and more convenient.


内容没有太大问题,不过除了用红色标出的问题以外,个人感觉LZ写文章还是摆脱不了用中文来思考,感觉很多句子很中国化,貌似是直接中文翻译过来的,而没有用英文的思维来思考和来说话,即使是翻译,也要有一定的transfer.陈述的句型希望细细斟酌!

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发表于 2010-1-15 22:21:42 |只看该作者
1.15. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.




With the development of electronic technology, it is accessible for us to watch a performance via television, no matter where this event occurs. However, I still prefer to attend a live performance, because it is more enjoyable than see the same picture on TV.


Since I am a person who is active and extrovert, a live picture with touchable nervous and enthusiasm will easier influence me. For example, I had a chance to enter a concert which was hold in a big hall with wonderful sound effect. When the music arises, I felt nothing else except the feeling of singers, like glee, sad, anger and release. Some place of my heart was melted, only melodious sound retained. However, I am not able to fell the way when looking at the familiar pictures on TV, even I've gotten a wonderful sound devices. As if the sound seems to be decorated by the electric signals. By no mean can I be moved.


Additionally, I can see many famous people in a live show. "Idol phenomena" becomes popular nowadays. Once we recognize some distinguished people through the movies, TV series, sports and so on, we possess a desire or make a wish to see them in the real life, or find ways to get their signatures. And for me, attending live performance provides me this opportunity. Guess what, I will be very pleased if I can take a photo with my favorite idol Liuxiang. Every one in the world knows him for his excellent performance in 110 meter-race, I always want to look at him running in real, and wish to cheer on my feet just in the platform. There are so many people I'd like to see, if possible to talk with them, ask them how did they achieve their success. All of these will be some enjoyable experience.

So, attending a live performance is always be my first choice, for its wonderful influence made by nervous or wonderful atmosphere and the appearance of famous people. In contrast, watching the same event on TV will neither give me the enthusiasm or excitement.

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发表于 2010-1-15 22:31:11 |只看该作者
1.14

As far as a I am concerned, computer have made our life easier and more convenient, for one click could help us out of troubles or solve our problems as soon as possible.! D, z0 V) `0 B* u- I


It is undeniable that with the emergence of computer, more and more information turn to be(can be) stored electronically, for(due to) computer's tremendous and in principle?unlimited storage space (storage capability 跟好一些吧). Whenever one needs to check out some words or look through recently news, just click, then he will be charged with abundant information.(For the purpose of checking out some words or looking through recent news, people just need a click on the mouse, and then abundance of information will be presented in front of them within several seconds ) Compare to the (In) old days, if someone didn't know how to spell a word, he would certainly(have no other choices but to)look up in a paper dictionary or ask someone else, but computer severs us as a convenient tool by simply inputting the word and clicking(with the computer as convenient tool, we only need to type several words and give a click on the mouse), the optional answers will come into the screen soon. Furthermore, with the assistance of internet, people can collect professional materials related to (a variety of disciplines, such as) biology, math, medicine and so on, which means, you can learn everything you prefer through a computer without always carrying so many heavy books., Y6 M+ F$ K/ @; {, Z
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Additionally, accompanied by the development of electric business, we can get whatever we like only by sitting in front of a computer. For example, there's a famous website in China named TAOBAO, which provides a platform for commerce exchange. Once(if)we want to buy clothes while(but) don't want to squeeze to the crowded shopping mall, the best method is to check this website through computer, pick up our favorite, and buy things by using our internet bank account. In a short, after a series (of) clicks we can harvest some new clothes. And thanks to the computer, we can even buy lots of things produced overseas, like chocolate in German, makeup in America, and souvenir in Africa. What a wonderful feeling! Try to(are you able to) imagine how should we get these without computer? Well, some people may argue that one can still fulfill his dreams of owning a rear and value Zippo lighter in American, by pleading his friends to bring him. However, if he doesn't have such a friend? Let alone how many days the transport may cost. In short, computer will make his inclination easier to attain by dealing indirectly through the computer.

, computer brings us more and more advantage by large number of portable materials and information. Also, some other new things are exploited as byproducts. Like electronic business I mentioned above, which undoubtedly promote the quality of people's life. What's more, I believe the widespread use of computer will facilitate(bring)other electronic industry's prosperities. So I hold that computer creates a world where our life becomes easier and more convenient.

多注意自己的句子结构和遣词

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发表于 2010-1-16 16:33:12 |只看该作者
超时10min

1.16. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing games teaches us about life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.


Many things teach us about life. Like movies, which attempt to convey something through media. And some people claim that playing games also teaches us to know about life, I agree with that.


When we were children, playing games was considered as an effective measure to explain various complex activities in our daily life. Those days we took part in a sports games just for fun. Through physically exercise in preparing process, we were able to get all parts of our muscle flexed. Furthermore, we learned about the basic race or swimming rules in competition, and we were supposed to understand the meaning of competition and cooperation. These fundamental skills will be applied to our future life. Earlier we get familiar, better will we fit to the rising developed society. In short, I compare the game as a mini-model of competition world. If I lost in a dance game, the feeling of failure might influence my mood, I had no choice but to adapt me to that situation. Meanwhile, precious experience I would reap, which was probably help me out when I encounter the similar things in the future.


As we grow up to an mature adults, playing games also play an important role to readjust our life to a new state. Since the increasing advancement of society, people's psychological state gets even worse, for never unaccomplished work. If we are careful enough, we will found suicide events present a rising trend. What caused people to abandon their life easily, why they adamently say no to their life? I deem that because they didn't discover the beauty of the life. One alternative way to solve this problem is to play games from time to time. Games are designed principally for entertainment. Through playing with friends, people opt to take off the pressure. Additionally, games bring a lot of laughter to people, and guide them to unveil the excitement out of repeated daily life.

A long life time allows abundant contents, not only sorrow times, but also funny days. Finding the beauty of life is ought to be our motive to live confidently. With lots of glee the game takes to us, I hold that playing games teaches us about life.

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发表于 2010-1-17 17:03:58 |只看该作者
感觉写得好差。。应该是没有及时收回来围绕提出的点来论证,超时5min
1.17. It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.




When comes to a project that building a new restaurant in your neighborhood, some people may oppose that for the restaurant may disturb their quiet environment. But for me, I totally agree with the appearance of a restaurant near my home.


First and foremost, the emergence of the restaurant can provide many advantages especially in supplying delicious food. As a housewife owning an ordinary job meanwhile, I can merely spare time to make a dinner with abundant sorts of dishes. What's more, it will cost me almost an hour on the way back home which directly leads me to choose fast food in stead. I still recall the complaint my husband make to me from time to time, and he usually persuade me to quit and promise to take care of me. However, the restaurant's coming will obviously solve my major problem. My husband and I could have dinners just near around. Furthermore, we can change the food menus everyday and the convenience will help me out of heavy house chores like washing plates. The most important one is that my husband stops to require me to abandon the job.


Additionally, along with the building of restaurant, some recreative place have a possibility to be brought in latter. People gather in this restaurant, if the food is really tasty, I believe more and people will come here to eat. This serves a big commercial opportunity. It is generally accepted that after dinner, people tend to find some places to relax themselves. For example, when finishing dinner, I'd like to find a KTV entertainment place to sing songs or go to theater to see a recent movie. According to these recreations, I can easily take off my pressure under the work, and meanwhile relax myself, which guarantee a better work efficiency tomorrow. Once these entertainment places are brought in after the restaurant I will be very pleased.

Since I am a one who don’t want to abandon my job just because I have no time to make dinner, I agree that this restaurant will be build in my neighborhood. On the other hand, ascribing to my extrovert personality, I will be appreciated if the coming of restaurant may bring me various ways of entertainments.

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发表于 2010-1-17 23:16:11 |只看该作者
When comes to a project that building a new restaurant in your neighborhood, some people may oppose that for(for 去掉) the restaurant may disturb their quiet environment. But for me, I totally agree with the appearance of a restaurant near my home.. e* @5 Y: a) ~) V9 I3 s
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First and foremost, the emergence of the restaurant can provide many advantages especially in supplying delicious food. As a housewife owning an ordinary job meanwhile, I can merely spare (little) time to make a dinner with abundant sorts of (abundant 与 sorts of 重复了吧!) dishes. What's more, it will cost me almost an hour on the way back home which directly leads me to choose fast food in stead. I still recall the complaint my husband make to me from time to time, and he usually persuade(s) me to quit and promise(s) to take care of me. However, the restaurant's coming will obviously solve my major problem. My husband and I could have dinners just near around. Furthermore, we can change the food menus everyday and the convenience will help me out of heavy house chores like washing plates. The most important one is that my husband stops to require me to abandon the job.(细节太多,尤其是husband和你之间的这个问题,解释的有些冗余)
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Additionally, along with the building of restaurant, some recreative place have a possibility to be brought in latter. People gather in this restaurant, if the food is really tasty, I believe more and people will come here to eat(have a dinner). This serves(provides) a big commercial opportunity. It is generally accepted that after dinner, people tend to find some places to relax themselves. For example, when finishing dinner, I'd like to find a KTV entertainment place to sing songs or go to theater to see a recent movie. According to these recreations, I can easily take off my pressure under(from) the work, and meanwhile relax myself(take off pressure和relax一样的), which guarantee a better work efficiency tomorrow. Once these entertainment places are brought in after the restaurant I will be very pleased.
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Since I am a one(the person) who don’t want to abandon my job just because I have no time to make dinner(放弃工作与have a dinner没有必然联系), I agree that this restaurant will be build in my neighborhood. On the other hand, ascribing to my extrovert personality, I will be appreciated if the coming of restaurant may bring me various ways of entertainments.

貌似这次楼主的思路有些乱啊!呵呵!注意切题,讲了很多唱歌,relax等的事情,但是只是一点点和new restaurant 有关!

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RE: 卷卷的独立作文~~~2009.1.3起 [修改]

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