卷卷的独立作文~~~2009.1.3起

zhengping001UID: 2689322

2.1 Do the movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people?
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I have a little sister, who spent too much time on watching TV when she was a child. The consequence was that she didn't work well on her study, because she was distracted by the movies and programs in television. So, as far as I am concerned, movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people.# p" s# s" y, O- O8 j
很少见到这样的新颖的开头方式，以一个例子开始，不得不佩服你的写作功底。
Lack of self-control, young people are always appealed by the movies and television which easily make them forget to do the things they should do. When I was young, my parents and teachers kept instructing me that study is the most important thing in front of me. I was supposed to acquire knowledge as more (much) as I could. However, I was not really understanding the profound meaning of the knowledge, in contrast, the colorful pictures in television attracts(attracted) me deeply. Generally, I expect to watch the cartoons once I was home. Then, I became careless at my class, just like my little sister, (and) I found it was impossible (for me) to concentrate on my homework anymore. Because each time I attempted to focus on my assignment, I couldn't help memorizing the appealing plots in cartoons I had seen. Finally, my mother noticed my situation and cancelled my movie time. I didn't rebel like my little sister. And I believe that's why I studied well again. Television has produced some bad effects on me for a period when I was young.
有开头有结尾，例子中有比较，这点写得不错！
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Movies and television lead more negative effect on people's health, especially on the young people. Generally speaking, adults have stopped to grow higher, yet the young people have not. Young people should spare no effort to exercise themselves in variety of aspects(in various of ways,不过我觉得两种都可以), such as doing physical exercises, mental training, which assist them to constitute stronger body. All those exercise have a great(greater) influence on the young people than adults according to some biological reasons. So, young people should (be)
aware of that and spend more time in(doing) exercise than just sitting in front of Television(television). An attractive movie has a power to make young people sit still for couple of hours. It is harmful to the young people since they need exercise from time to time to guarantee their body healthy. Don't neglect the significant time for young people transferring to adults.4 d4 t; @. ?( F0 b6 v+ w- y' o. c

Admittedly the movies and television have some positive effects that they broad(broaden) young people's horizons, colorful their entertainment. But considering the greater negative effect they make on young people, such as distraction and doing harm on their health, I hold that movies and television have more negative effect that(than) positive effect on the young people.
就不多说了，写得很好，至少25+.

shirley072UID: 2712200

2.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is being in a group led by a tourist guide.

I had a chance to visit Beijing when I was in high school. For sake of convenience, I take part in a group led by a tourist guide. Indeed, I heard numerous elaborate instructions and stories about the view, however, I found there were still lots of places we had passed over. So, I hold that the best way to travel is taking a trip by oneself, not being in group led by a tourist guide.

First, tourist guides tend to pick up some significant views to show to us, we can not ensure that what they regard to be beautiful are also means the same to us. For instance, my sister has been to Chengdu last year. As we know, Chengdu is considered as a beautiful city with lots of places of interest containing the famous poet Dufu' house and Si mountain nearby. After a series conference, my sister only spared two days to look at the city. Without preparation, she chose to participate a tourist group whose destination was Si mountain for my sister favored the natural views. But unfortunately, the guide wasted the amount of time in instruct the temples in the Si mountain. So disappoint she was that she complain many times when she came back. If she designed a detailed plan before, she could entirely travel by herself to appreciate the natural view she liked.

In addition, some tourists constitute the cooperation relationship with the stores in the places of interests, which indicate that tourists may be supposed to buy more souvenirs in that place. Honestly, the price there is higher compared with the average stores elsewhere's. According to my experience, most of the characteristic art works can be obtained in the other place. I had bought a hat marked the Great Wall priced by 10 RMB. Then, when I back to the city centre, I surprising found that the same hat only cost me 5 RMB. Angry was the only feeling I could remind of. But what else should I do? Therefore, I insisted on traveling alone in my rest of the vacation.

In my opinion, the significance of the travel is to appreciate the view we like, and the same time avoid the unnecessary payment, which are easily attained by travelling alone. So I deem that the best way to travel is not being in a group led by a tourist guide, but to travel alone.

eddie23508okUID: 2281260

2.1 Do the movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people?

I have a little sister, who spent too much time on watching TV when she was a child. The consequence was that she didn't work well on her study, because she was distracted by the movies and programs in television. So, as far as I am concerned, movies and television have more negative effect than positive effect on the young people. (开头以例子开头，新颖，直奔主题，不错！)

Lack (Lacking) of self-control, young people are always appealed by the movies and television which easily make them forget to do the things they should do. When I was young, my parents and teachers kept instructing me that study is the most important thing in front of (for) me. I was supposed to acquire knowledge as more (much) as I could. However, I was (为什么要用过去进行时呢？did) not really understanding the profound meaning of the knowledge, in contrast, the colorful pictures in television attracts (attracted) me deeply (more). Generally (这个词用在这里的意思是？), I expect to watch (always wanted to watch) the cartoons once I was (at) home. Then, I became careless at my class, just like my little sister, I found it was impossible to concentrate on my homework anymore. Because each time I attempted to focus on my assignment, I couldn't help memorizing the appealing plots in cartoons I had seen. Finally, my mother noticed my situation and cancelled my movie time. I didn't rebel like my little sister. And I believe that's why I studied well again. Television has produced some bad effects on me for a period when I was young.

Movies and television lead (to) more negative effect on people's health, especially on the young people. Generally speaking, adults have stopped to grow (stop doing 和stop to do 意思不一样，有兴趣的话可以查一下，在这里stop to do 意思已经错了) higher, yet the young people have not. Young people should spare no effort to exercise themselves in variety of aspects, such as doing physical exercises, mental training, which assist them to constitute stronger body. All those exercise have a great influence on the young people than adults according to some biological reasons. So, young people should (be) aware of that and spend more time in exercise than just sitting in front of Television. An attractive movie has a power to make young people sit still for couple of hours. It is harmful to the young people since they need exercise from time to time to guarantee their body healthy. Don't neglect the significant time for young people transferring to adults.

Admittedly the movies and television have some positive effects that they broad young people's horizons, colorful their entertainment. But considering the greater negative effect they make on young people, such as distraction and doing harm on their health, I hold that movies and television have more negative effect that positive effect on the young people.

只看到电影和电视带来的坏处，没看到他们跟好处相比怎么更大了，只在结尾提了一下。还是那些问题，我感觉LZ貌似想要表达太多信息，以至于加了好多不必要的陈述进去，这样做除了比较冗赘以外，还会干扰读者的阅读思维，另外语法的错误也要稍微注意一下，另外还是chinese logic还是太浓，还有有时候陈述一件过去发生的事情前面还是用的过去式，可是后来不知不觉就换成一般现在时了。不过开头很新颖，我很喜欢！
PS：以后千万别说什么“到我这学习”了，呵呵，大家相互交流就好，另外我现在也感觉越写越烂，惭愧惭愧！还有，我希望我的comment不会太尖锐，这种纯属个人意见，个人水平也有限，如果有不同意的，大家一起讨论一下！加油！

duck2010UID: 2757376

2.2 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is being in a group led by a tourist guide. L# i* Q# |" R4 D6 ~ I had a chance to visit Beijing when I was in high school. For sake of convenience, I take part in a group led by a tourist guide. Indeed, I heard numerous elaborate instructions and stories about the view, however, I found there were still lots of places we had passed over. So, I hold that the best way to travel is taking a trip by oneself, not being in group led by a tourist guide. (我不太理解你这一段与之后论述的各段之间的关系。你似乎有两套理由，一个是pass over 了一些景点，一个是后面的first 和 in addition。这里是否有些欠妥呢？希望你能再三斟酌。) ) j2 J( |  M4 W" R# ~8 M" @& W0 P% C% w0 N; A First, tourist guides tend to pick up some significant views to show to us, we can not ensure that what they regard to be beautiful are also means the same to us. For instance, my sister has been to Chengdu last year. As we know, Chengdu is considered as a beautiful city with lots of places of interest containing the famous poet Dufu' house and Si mountain nearby. After a series conference, my sister only spared two days to look at（look at是“盯着看”的意思，在这里似乎用tour更好） the city. Without preparation, she chose to participate a tourist group whose destination was Si mountain for my sister favored the natural views. But unfortunately, the guide wasted the amount of time in instruct the temples in the Si mountain. So disappoint she was that she complain many times when she came back. If she designed a detailed plan before, she could entirely travel by herself to appreciate the natural view she liked.（我建议你换成if she had designed..., she would ...）% J* j9 b' [$ q0 z, T4 n. ~- ^ In addition, some tourists constitute the cooperation relationship with the stores in the places of interests, which indicate that tourists may be supposed to buy more souvenirs in that place. Honestly, the price there is higher compared with the average stores elsewhere's. According to my experience, most of the characteristic art works can be obtained in the other place. I had bought a hat marked the Great Wall priced by 10 RMB. Then, when I back to the city centre, I surprising found that the same hat only cost me 5 RMB. Angry was the only feeling I could remind of. But what else should I do? Therefore, I insisted on traveling alone in my rest of the vacation.(如果托福阅卷老师没有来过中国旅游，或者一直对这种极具中国特色的旅行社-奸商关系缺乏了解的话，他可能不知道你这段话在说什么，觉得莫名其妙。) In my opinion, the significance of the travel is to appreciate the view we like, and the same time avoid the unnecessary payment, which are easily attained by travelling alone. So I deem that the best way to travel is not being in a group led by a tourist guide, but to travel alone. 你的表达能力我就不多加评论了，用词和造句的水平都非常棒。 我想提出这样一点建议，希望对你有价值：     我们在写托福作文时，用到例子最好不要太“中国”了。因为，我们的美国朋友很可能知道中国的孔子，却不认识杜甫；他们可能知道北京上海，未必都知道成都；他们可能知道长城，甚至泰山，未必知道Si Mountain（我其实也不知道。。。汗）；他们知道中国人很精明，未必知道我们的旅行社比“精明”更“精明”。如果我们说一些他们有所了解的城市地点或者事例，说不定能够更加激起他们潜意识的认同感（比如，他们也去过北京，知道那是一个不错的地方）。这样，总比让对方觉得云里雾里要好。总之一句，要让他们完全理解，完全看懂我们的文章。     我罗罗嗦嗦，也不知道把事情说明白了没。呵呵。仅仅是个人观点。

shirley072UID: 2712200

多谢啊，的确上面的例子都举得好抽象，特别是那个si mountain是偶编的，哈哈，因为突然想到了四姑娘山，又突然觉得很长，就随便写了写。。。汗。。

shirley072UID: 2712200

超时15min。。。


2.4 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

When asked about the advantages brought by the technology, many people hold that advanced technology make our life more complicated because the amount of knowledge we need to acquire is increasing. However, contrary to the opinions of those people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that technology makes our life simpler, because we can easily obtain knowledge by the high-tech manners.

Admittedly, as the science and technology develops, an expanding number of innovations emerge, such as network technology. On the other hand, more and more time will be supposed to spend on learning this skill, our life obviously seem to be complex. Because we all know that information plays an significant role in the modern society, and the internet is the most effective way to gain the message.

Considerable though the disadvantages that high-tech skills enjoy are; however, they can not compete with the advantages, when convenience is taken into account. In the past, we accumulated knowledge by reading numerous paper books, which were heavy to take along. Nowadays, we can only sit in front a computer to studying, since any materials you need are easily to be found on the internet. It is the developed technology that leads the convenience to us. We can save much unnecessary time spent on seeking for the appropriate books.

In addition, the highly-developed technology free us form the tedious house chores. We have dishwasher to do the cleaning after dinner, auto-robust to sweep the floor, and so on. Why could we blame the technology for some minor drawbacks when our life becomes easier as a matter of fact? We can utilize much time spared by the assistance of machines to do whatever we like. I believe that a vast majority of people favor a simple life with lots of free time to release. Finally, the progressive technology make people's dream come true, the only requirement is that people should be acquainted with the rules that the machine works. And I don't reckon that people's life will become more complicated due to learning some regulations.

From what have been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that though minor shortcomings would be led to the technology, but the merits overweigh them, if convenience is taken into deliberation. Thus, I deem that simpler life does the technology bring to people.

shirley072UID: 2712200

又写了好久，好难想哦。。


2.7 Do you think success is important, or it is more important to remain happy and optimistic when you fail?

When asked about the significance of the success, obviously, I hold the position that success is pretty important. But compared with the activated attitude towards the failure, I have to choose the side that possessing a happy and optimistic attitude overwhelms the success itself. Here are my reasons.

First, we can't ensure that whatever things we do will be succeed, but we can guarantee that treat with failure with mild mode will facilitate to success. We could cite the example of Edison. He failed thousands of times before he invent the electric light. Many people regards that it is perseverance or his strong desire that made him finally succeed. However, I consider that the most essential point is his mature attitude led to the final achievement. He treated the failure like the common event that could possibly happened each day, and he always held an optimistic expectation that he could made it someday. By transforming the disappointed and frustrated feeling into aspiration and anticipation, Edison overcame himself and certainly solved the problem to achieve success.

Additionally, accompanied with the increasing desire for success, the pressure will become the major problem people should handle with. Be stressed out with numerous works that occupy enormous time are those people who pay much more attention on the success, even more than dealing with their own feelings towards the failure. As far as I am concerned, this is a harmful circle. Totally concentrating on the success would result in the exhausting hard working and tension to some extend which may lead to a high expectation. Once failed, people would feel extremely pessimistic and could be not able to turn the pessimistic feelings into the optimistic ones. Then they fell into sorrow and stress again. Finally, people would deviate the right way to success due to the incorrect treatment with failure.

Based on what have been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that people should never enlarge the importance of the success. In contrast, how to deal with the failure is the key point to obtain the success.

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

72# shirley072

When asked about the significance of the success, obviously, I hold the position that success is pretty important. But compared with the activated attitude towards the failure, I have to choose the side that possessing a happy and optimistic attitude overwhelms the success itself. (这个句子有个逻辑上的语法错误Compared with 作为过分放在句首，它的主语应该是 Success,而不是人)Here are my reasons.
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First, we can't ensure that whatever things we do will be succeed, but we can guarantee that treating with failure with mild
mode
（mood）will facilitate to success. We could cite the example of Edison. He failed thousands of times before he invented the electric light. Many people regards that it is perseverance or his strong desire that made him finally succeed. However, I consider that the most essential point is his mature attitude led to the final achievement. He treated the failure like
as the common event that could possibly happened each day, and he always held an optimistic expectation that he could made it someday. By transforming the disappointed and frustrated feeling into aspiration and anticipation, Edison overcame himself and certainly solved the problem to achieve success.

Additionally, accompanied with the increasing desire for success, the pressure will become the major problem people should handle with. Being stressed out with numerous works that occupy enormous time are those people who pay much more attention on the success, even more than dealing with their own feelings towards the failure. As far as I am concerned, this is a harmful circle. Totally concentrating on the success would result in the exhausting hard working and tension ,to some extend ,which may lead to a high expectation. Once failed, people would feel extremely pessimistic and could not be able to turn the pessimistic feelings into the optimistic ones. Then they fell into sorrow and stress again. Finally, people would deviate the right way to success due to the incorrect treatment with failure.* j& F; q) k0 v: |& d

Based on what have been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that people should never enlarge the importance of the success. In contrast, how to deal with the failure is the key point to obtain the success



LZ写的总的很不错 没有什么重复的句式 读起来很流畅。
注意下个别地方的小错误

小白虎UID: 2603242

19# poplinda

文中有一个minor mistake in“This story told me, even if one person's first object is not perfect, it can't be an excuse for he to abandon dreams. ”he应该改成him。

shirley072UID: 2712200

3.8  One of the best ways for parents to help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take the part-time job.
In my opinion, the best way for teenage children to prepare well for their future adult life is to find a job, and experience what the adult undertake. So, I totally support that parents should encourage their children to take the part-time job.

First and foremost, seeking a part-time job is the quickest way to understand the real society. While staying in schools, teenagers have little chance to communicate with outside people, which, to some extent, constrain their horizons. As we know, a large number of knowledge can't be obtained only from books or teachers. Like communication skill, which play an essential role in students' future career. For example, adults always hold independent ideas that may contradict to each other. Once they don't deal with the problem well, the unpleasant conversation may effect on their companion relationships. Furthermore, it would lead to a failure of the project because of the incooperative attitude in a team work. On the contrary, teenagers' conflict may be easily solved according to the teacher's persuading. No harm would be done. But this is not the truth in society, since self-interest is always in the first place to a majority of people. Teenagers can learn more thing by taking the part-time job.

Additionally, by participating in the part-time job, teenagers have the access to know that it's not easy for their parents to raise them. Extraordinary work should be down before obtaining the wage. For example, I used to complaint that my parents loved the work more than me, since they spare little time taking me to the zoo. My conception utterly changed after I found my first part-time job. I got to understand that why my parents strived so hard for the work. The reason is that they want to offer me the better conditions no matter in living or in educating. I appreciate what they have done to me. Meanwhile, I found myself grow to a responsible mature adult.

In conclusion, the advantages for teenagers to take the part-time job are not limited by what I mentioned about, for instance, take the job also assist they in acquire some necessary personalities, like tolerance and so forth. As far as I see, encouraging teenagers to find a part-time job is beneficial for their future development and prepare well for adult life.