作文

lilei865UID: 2690371

When it refers to whether people today spend too much time on their enjoyment, the discussion of this issue among individuals and in society as a whole, has come into vogue during the last decade.
The statement declares that human in the nowadays should
spend most of their lifetime accomplishing what they should do. However, I disagree with the statement for the reason that enjoyment can help people avoid suffering from huge pressure and more leisure time are availuable today than it in the past.

The main reason is that people in nowadays offen suffer from unavoidable pressure, especially for those who live in the competitive cities. Young adults have to study hard in order to enter the excellent colleges. And adults should afford their children to school as well as send their parents to
better health facilities. Obviously, everyone in this society is strugling to get succeed in the terms of making much more money. It isn’t hard to imagine what a stressful life people have to live. Thus enjoyment is desperit needed for people today in order to avoid some mental diseases.

Another equally essential factor why I advocate spending time on enjoyment is the advancement of the modern technology
offer people more leisure time to utilize. It is acknowledged that humans today could accomplish the same woke in a relative short time, which ensure people have more chances and time to have some enjoyment. A noteble case in this point has an association with the housewives. In the past time, housewives have to spend 3 hours preparing dinner, and cleaning up the tables. After all these things done, there is almost no time for them to have enjoyment. On the contrast, the same work only takes the housewives about 30 minutes, and a plentiful time will be lift for enjoyment.

However, we should concede despite the merits of the enjoyment will be indeed counterproductive, even harmful. The harm it produces is, in my view, both palpable and profound. For individual, it has a negative impact on people’s ambitions. For the society, it may promote a adverse tendency toward abortion of society development.

Weighing the pros and cons of enjoyment, I strongly commit to the notion that spending time on enjoyment should not be forbidden for the reasons that enjoyment assitant modern people reduce ing their pressure and more time are provided for people to spend.

jjooyyUID: 2704028

When it refers to whether people today spend too much time on their enjoyment, the discussion of this issue among individuals and in society as a whole, has come into vogue during the last decade.8 y The statement declares that human in the nowadays should spend most of their lifetime accomplishing what they should do. However, I disagree with the statement for the reason that enjoyment can help people avoid suffering from huge pressure and more leisure time are available today than it in the past.

The main reason is that people in nowadays often suffer from unavoidable pressure, especially for those who live in the competitive cities. Young adults have to study hard in order to enter the excellent colleges. And adults should afford their children to school as well as send their parents to better health facilities(send to facilities?). Obviously, everyone in this society is struggling to get succeed in the terms of(可以这样用吗？) making much more money. It isn’t hard to imagine what a stressful life（lives） people have to live. Thus enjoyment is desperately needed for people today in order to avoid some mental diseases.) i2 m. i1 B/ t: d/ v( R& Q
6 b/ l7 a4 v/ P, G/ j0 ~9 }7 }

Another equally essential factor why I advocate spending time on enjoyment is the advancement of the modern technology offer people more leisure time to utilize. It is acknowledged that humans today could accomplish the same woke(work) in a relative short time, which ensure people to have more chances and time to have some enjoyment. A notable case in this point has(is) an association with the housewives. In the past time, housewives have to spend 3 hours preparing dinner, and cleaning up the tables. After all these things done, there is almost no time for them to have enjoyment. On the contrast, the same work today only takes the housewives about 30 minutes, and a plentiful(plenty of) time will be lifted for enjoyment.

However, we should concede despite the merits of the enjoyment will be indeed counterproductive, even harmful. The harm it produces is, in my view, both palpable and profound. For individual, it has a negative impact on people’s ambitions. For the society, it may promote an adverse tendency toward abortion of society development.

Weighing the pros and cons of enjoyment, I strongly commit to the notion that spending time on enjoyment should not be forbidden(why forbidden?) for the reasons that enjoyment assistant modern people to reduce their pressure and more time are provided for people to spend.


观点清楚，论证还算充分，词汇也用的不错，遣词用句成熟。如果是规定时间写的，那非常不错了！
下面是论点了，主题是，人们是否吧更多的时间放到了enjoyment上，而不是应该做的事上，你论证了人们应该有enjoyment,而没有更多的意思，没有跟应该做的事做对比，个人观点，可能有点偏题吧，当然，一家之言，我们可以再讨论。。
可能是时间仓促，有不少拼写错误和语法错误。下次贴上来时最好用word改一改～

by jjooyy