托福作文

pyjdtc316UID: 2535853

do you agree or disagree with the following satement?palying games teaches us about life.use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

   

In some people`s opinion, playing games is not so good because it may interfere with their work or study. However, they are just blind to the favorable effects of games, one of which is that playing games teaches us about life, and sometimes you can even say life itself is a game.

   

As we all know, most games need a member of people to participate in, so through playing games with our team menbers, we gained the experience of how to cooperate with each other and how to beat our competitors, which is just the same in our real life. For example, isn`t it like a game for you to accomplish a task in your company? You have to work together with your colleagues to shoot your target and you have to figure out how to surpass your competitors in other companies.

   

What games teach us is not only about teamwork and competion, but also how to face failures. Maybe to win is the goal, however, it is not what we should value most. Actually, what really count in a game is the your experience retained from it, how much you learned from it, and how much fun you have while playing it. Can you deny that apply to our life too? Some times we had worked really hard on something, however, it turned out to be a completely failure,which equals to that we losed the "game". Nevertheless, we should value the treasure we gained through doing it, and get to know that failure is not a necessary killer of success in the next time.

   

What`s more, games also teach us to respect the rules, and leave us to think that how to get the shot within the rules. when we are familiar with the game, we can even come up with ideas about how to utillize the rules to help us get score. Just the same, there are many rules in our life,such as working ethic, laws, etc. Those who can not adapt to the games,complaining about it all the time could never actually win the game.Conversly, those who respect the rules and adjust themselves to the rules are more likely to succeed in their realms.

   

It is pretty clear that games can reflect a lot about life, also, you could learn much about life through playing games. Enjoy the games, and apply what you have learned to your life.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

In some people`s opinion, playing games is not so good because it may interfere with their work or study. (So, what about people who don't have work or study? You need to qualify your statements carefully if the question didn't.) However, they are just blind to the favorable effects of games, one of which is that playing games teaches us about life, and sometimes you can even say life itself is a game. (Adding this without relating it back to the question will weaken your opinion. The question asks whether you agree with the statement, so you need to state whether you do. A simple 'therefore I definitely agree with that xxx' will do.)

As we all know, most games need a member of people to participate in, so through playing games with our team members,(Not all games involve 'teams', e.g. chess is essentially a 1-on-1 game, and it doesn't involve any 'team', unless you're playing a team chess championship. You're right to say that most games need a number of people, but don't over generalize it with words like 'team'. At the least, you should give examples of 'team' games to again, qualify your statement, such as basketball) we gained the experience of how to cooperate with each other and how to beat our competitors, which is just the same in our real life. For example, isn`t it like a game for you to accomplish a task in your company? You have to work together with your colleagues to shoot your target (This is a very weird phrase that seems to be in favor by students from China. You either 'shoot AT your target' - regardless whether you hit it - or you 'hit' a target by shooting.) and you have to figure out how to surpass your competitors in other companies. (This is true, but you have to relate this back to 'games teach us about life' at the end of the paragraph. A reader may ask: what's the exact relationship between 'games (A) give us experience about life (B)' and 'corporate world (C) is like a game (A)'? This is a typical example of an incomplete syllogism. You need to relate between (A), (B) and (C) in a circle, not just between any two of them.)

What games teach us is not only about teamwork and competion, but also how to face failures. Maybe to win is the goal, however, it is not what we should value most. Actually (This is a very casual word when used alone, avoid it in formal writing. Use 'in fact' instead.), what really counts in a game is the your experience retained from it, how much you learned from it, and how much fun you had while playing it. Can you deny that applies to our life too? Some times we had worked really hard on something, however, it turned out to be a completely failure,which equals to that we losed the "game". Nevertheless, we should value the treasure we gained through doing it, and get to know that failure is not a necessary killer of success in the next time. (Again, you need to make a clearer connection about how games TEACH us about the exact aspect - face failure - in life. The argument you're making here is more towards 'how games and life are similar to each other'. This doesn't necessarily mean one teaches you about the other. You need to explicitly state that as your conclusion, like saying that the experience you used in dealing with real life situations come from or is implied from the experience you gained from games.)

What's more, games also teach us to respect the rules (of what?), and leave us to think that how to get the shot within the rules. When we are familiar with the game, we can even come up with ideas about how to utillize the rules to help us get score. Just the same, there are many rules in our life,such as working ethic, laws, etc. Those who cannot adapt to the games, complaining about it all the time, could never actually win the game. Conversly, those who respect the rules and adjust themselves to the rules are more likely to succeed in their realms. (Again, make an explicit conclusion that says 'thus I agree that games teach us about life' at the end of the paragraph to close your logic. As I've said many times before, you need to make a CONCLUSION out of your argument and close it, in every paragraph, or your reader will be free to make one out of his understanding of your logic, and he doesn't necessarily make the exact same conclusion as the one in your original question. This kind of open-ended argument is effectively not persuasive.)

It is pretty clear that games can reflect a lot about life, also, you could learn much about life through playing games (This has shown that you yourself is making an attempt to twist your argument back to fit the question. You may not realize that you've actually been arguing only the 1st part of this sentence - games an reflect a lot about life - rather than the 2nd part, but I think you sure felt odd about the essay.). Enjoy the games, and apply what you have learned to your life. (This is uncalled for. The question didn't ask you for what people should do.)

总结：

语法和词汇只是有比较少量的错误，请注意红字标出的地方。

逻辑方面略为跑题，题目问的是 游戏能不能教导人关于生活的东西，而不是 游戏和生活像不像，什么地方像。你一直没有点上的东西其实很简单就一句话 - 因为游戏和生活非常相像，相像的东西可以互通，所以游戏的经验可以用在生活上，所以我同意游戏中可以学到生活所用的东西。但你就是必须把这句话在每一段的结尾都说出来。不要让你的读者猜你是不是这个意思。如果你不说，你的读者就可以随便就你写的东西下结论，那为什么他们一定要结论出问题所问的东西呢？所以一直说要点题，点题，就是这个意思。