ISSUE50 求拍。谢谢了！！

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50  "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

How to attract students and how to enrich courses so as to improve the quality of education at the college and university level? I concede with the speaker's solution that all faculties should be required to practice outside the academic world in professions related to their courses (curriculum/class/discipline/specialty), while this idea should be fully concerned on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, let's probe into the realm of Journalism and Communication. As we know, Journalism is a comprehensive subject which demands scholars acquire academic theories as well as practical skills. How to interview individuals, how to write a new article, or how to compile a newspaper as an editor? Books or written materials can only give primary answers to these questions - they are far behind enough. That's why we have teachers and classes to interpret these fundamental methods to students. However, without working experiences in media as newspapers or TV stations, teachers can barely (scarcely) have a deep (profound) insight of the profession and impart them completely (thoroughly/radically/drastically) to those fledging rookies. Moreover, students seldom fall in love with courses of sheer theoretic analysis and power point presentations - they prefer lecturer's vivid examples and instrumental tips. Only through practice can teachers meet students' unsatisfiable appetite of learning.

So as in the field of science. Today is an era (epoch) of explosive advancement, which means new inventions and fresh technologies are replacing old ones every second. In other words, the theories (conception/attitude/opinion/view/speculation) and papers printed in our text books are obsolete; they may have been revised or overturned by recent breakthroughs. Thereby, college and university faculty need and should withdraw from campus live and then devote themselves to bathe in the lights of latest developments. With such experiences, researchers are not only able to keep up with contemporary scientific trends, but also easier to establish better courses, not to mention how those will appeal to students. In short, practical experiences serve to keep teachers updated and cultivate students better.

Nevertheless, not instructors of all fields need to walk out of academic world (area/zone/district/region), such as philosophy and art. What a philosopher studies is the relationship between human minds and exists, the whole research of which is based on abstract theories. Accordingly, to practice philosophy outside academic world is unnecessary, while we don't even have such vocation. In the mean time, art is a special domain which itself is the combination of theory and practice (drill/exercise/train/prepare) - a painter have to master (grasp/predominate) aesthetic theories before the painting process and improve (mend) his drawing skills during it. In a word, certain subjects are not suitable for practice or may be compatible for both. (这句话说不来。。)

In the final analysis, the quality of instruction at college and university is crucial to the future (tomorrow/hereafter) of human beings, so teachers need and should spend time working outside to obtain abundant experiences in order to sharpen their courses, and they should be aware of field differences yet.

自己改了下先，全文论述还算到位，尤其二三段，写的也比较顺；但是最后两端明显paraphrase不够，例子支持也少，因此耗费了不少时间。
文笔方面，Chinglish 痕迹较重，语言不够精炼
总的来说这篇文章不是很满意，写的时候也觉得，前半篇感觉很好，后半篇开始觉得脑子就停运了。。。。
求拍啊求拍~~~~谢谢各位了

justbegunUID: 2746795

50  "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

How to attract students and how to enrich courses so as to improve the quality of education at the college and university level? I concede with the speaker's solution that all faculties should be required to practice outside the academic world in professions related to their courses (curriculum/class/discipline/specialty), while this idea should be fully concerned on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, let's probe into the realm of Journalism and Communication. As we know, Journalism is a comprehensive subject which demands scholars acquire academic theories as well as practical skills. How to interview individuals, how to write a new article, or how to compile a newspaper as an editor? Books or written materials can only give primary answers to these questions - they are far behind enough. That's why we have teachers and classes to interpret these fundamental methods to students. However, without working experiences in media as newspapers or TV stations, teachers can barely (scarcely) have a deep (profound) insight of the profession and impart them completely (thoroughly/radically/drastically) to those fledging rookies. Moreover, students seldom fall in love with courses of sheer theoretic analysis and power point presentations - they prefer lecturer's vivid examples and instrumental tips. Only through practice can teachers meet students' unsatisfiable appetite of learning.
很喜欢上面这一段 感觉论证的很充分


So as in the field of science. In an era (epoch) of explosive advancement today, () new inventions and fresh technologies are replacing old ones in every second.(前面这句话稍微改动了下 觉得原来which means比较奇怪) In other words, the theories (conception/attitude/opinion/view/speculation) and papers printed in our text books are obsolete（好词但是用在这里过分了 经典物理还是很经典的 没有过时）; they may have been revised or overturned by recent breakthroughs. Thereby, college and university faculty need and should withdraw from campus live and then devote themselves to bathe in the lights of latest developments. With such experiences, researchers are not only able to keep up with contemporary scientific trends, but also easier to establish better courses, not to mention how those will appeal to students. In short, practical experiences serve to keep teachers updated and cultivate students better.
个人认为这一段如果换做engineering学科的话更好 作为science 还是纯理论的东西比较多所以明显感觉没有第一段那么有力 而工程的话写起来就方便多了

Nevertheless, not instructors of all fields(第一段粉色部分 已经concede all了 这段初看觉得就自相矛盾了 第一段那句可以稍作改进) need to walk out of academic world (area/zone/district/region), such as philosophy and art. What a philosopher studies is the relationship between human minds and exists, the whole research of which is based on abstract theories. Accordingly, to practice philosophy outside academic world is unnecessary, while we don't even have such vocation.（给出一个具体的哲学家会比较好 也有喜欢体验外面生活的哲学家通过行到之处进行思考的 如果用哲学家整体一概而论的话说服力就降低了） In the mean time, art is a special domain which itself is the combination of theory and practice (drill/exercise/train/prepare) - a painter have to master (grasp/predominate) aesthetic theories before the painting process and improve (mend) his drawing skills during it. In a word, certain subjects are not suitable for practice or may be compatible for both. (这句话说不来。。)（这句话没有读懂…………）
相对于前两段 这一段写的比较乱了 其实完全可以站在全部肯定原命题的立场上写 这样的辩证反而乱了自己的思路 而且这一段基本脱离了college和 university


In the final analysis, the quality of instruction at college and university is crucial to the future (tomorrow/hereafter) of human beings, so teachers need and should spend time working outside to obtain abundant experiences in order to sharpen their courses, and they should be aware of field differences yet.


总体还是很喜欢这篇文的恩~~~~~~~
没有仔细看语言
对文章的思路给出了一些自己的看法~
希望可以一起再讨论恩~

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2# justbegun

谢谢了！
确实我自己写的时候就有感觉。第二段因为是自己的专业，所以写出来得心应手，第三段，高中是个理科生，所以自然而然想到了物理，而工科真的不熟，所以举不出什么更有力的例子，不知道你有什么好的建议。至于第四段，这个写作过程憋得就痛苦了。确实像你说的可以举点具体的（你有什么好例子么？），或者干脆来个全肯定。所以说写前两段时候很舒服，后面的就痛苦了哎。。。

anyway，谢谢你的建议了！！

justbegunUID: 2746795

是学Journalism怪不得那么能写呀~
之所以觉得后面矛盾 可能有一个重要的概念 刚开始的物理学家 其实都是一些哲学家 所以他们本是一家 你却写成了两派
具体的例子 笛卡尔是一个正反都可以用的例子 我之前记得他是那个小时候老在家的哲学家 刚才看了下百科发现他后来在周游列国也有所收获（周游列国我想到了孔夫子……）

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i see
这个问题我到真的没有考虑过，谢谢提醒了！
势必这个题目后半部分要重新构思了