Argument156 请拍！谢谢，拍必回

sunsightUID: 2473730

Argument 156
The following is taken from an advertisement placed in a weekly business magazine by the Dickens Academy
"We distributed a survey to senior management at International Mega-Publishing, Inc. The result of the survey clearly indicates that many employees were well prepared in business knowledge and computer skills, but lacked interpersonal skills to interact gracefully with customers. International Mega-Publishing decided to improve customer satisfaction by sending their newly hired employees to our one-day seminars. Since taking advantage of our program, International Mega-Publishing has seen a sharp increase in sales, an indication that the number of their disgruntled customers has declined significantly. Your company should hire Dickens and let us turn every employee into an ambassador for your company"


This ad recommends that any companies shoule hire Dickens and send their employees to one-day seminars for better customer satisfaction. To support this recommendation, the arguer cites a survey of senior manegement at International Mega-Publishing(MP) which presents that many employees were weakened at interpersonal skills while well prepared in business and computer skills. This ad also points out that MP’s increasing sales after newly employees participating in the one-day seminar contributes to improved customer satisfaction. As it stands this recommendation relies on a series of dubious assumption, and is therefore unconvincing.

To begin with, lacking substantiated statistic and evidence, the survey fails to conclude that all the employees are under the situation that the arguer assumes. As we know, lots of employees are hired for production, editorial, or personnel positions that have nothing to do with customer relationship but play an essential role in sales. Even if that’s true all of MP’s employees needs the one-day seminar to improve their interpersonal skills, it’s not necessarily indication that any company’s employees have to improve their interpersonal skills when they have prepared well in it, and participate in the one-day seminar. Thus, the survey itself is unwarranted and make the recommendation unacceptable.

Besides, this ad unfairly assumes that MP’s increasing sales attributes to better customer satisfaction which is caused by newly employees joining in the one-day seminar. Firs, no evidence has been showed that the one-day seminar is responsible for greater customer satisfaction. Perhaps, MP just applies new managements or actions which help customers enjoy MP, hence, the number of disgruntled customers has decreased. It’s entirely possible that only non-participated employees of one-day seminar can satisfy their customers, but the participated one. Secondly, even if it is the one-day seminar to improve customer satisfaction, whether this result in sharply increasing sales is still unsubstantiated as laking evidence. Perhaps, greater sales is due to some promotion and increasing market demand. Unless the ad give more evidence that one-day semina is directly responsible for MP’s sales rising, this recommendation is highly suspect.

Moreover, this ad is unreasonable to assume that any company would enjoy the same fate as MP after sending employees to one-day seminar. Companies vary from their type and working aim, it’s impossible that the one-day seminar can hits the spot of any company. More information about the seminar are expeted to show.

firhadayUID: 2287086

首先，以后发帖注意格式吧，方便别人查找……呵呵^.^
其次，文章中，模版可以开始尝试去除了，To begin with, lacking substantiated statistic and evidence, the survey fails to conclude that all the employees are under the situation that the arguer assumes，这样的话比较无意义，建议写一些直接了当的话
有一个细节，customer-relationship是指客户关系，我感觉应该属于销售范畴

最后，还是值得小庆祝下的，基本上，能抓住几个逻辑错误做质疑
但是细节之处需要多琢磨，并且，把文章写得更细致，结构和段落内逻辑更清晰一些，反例后的论证深度更深一些~

呵呵
加油~勉之

sunsightUID: 2473730

感谢啊！问题还很多，继续改进、努力中！真心的再说句谢谢！