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When it comes to the question that whether we should choose the difficult or challenging classes in university or college though we may not get a great grade, some students may contend that in order to get a scholarship we had better not to choose those challenging courses. Others, however, argue that even though we might mot get a desirable mark, we need to choose the classes which are difficult to learn (And their primary reason would be? If you gave a reason for the former, you might as well give an outline of reasons here as well.). As far as I am concerned, I advocate the latter one, and my arguments are listed as follows.
To begin with, one of my the main reasons to support my point of view is that learning challenging or difficult courses is useful for us in our future career. The harder to learn the class, the more useful it might be. Since the class is not easy to learn, most of the students will give up studying it. Seldom do students learn?, we have certain knowledge that others do not have, which definitely give us a better chance to have an admirable position. Therefore, we have an easy access to an job occupation which we dreamed for. For instance, one of my friends, Lily, found a job in a the remarkable company IBM, which made all of us admire her extraordinarily. Why only did only she join in the company? (This sounds more like only she 'chose' to join IBM. I think your expression should be something more akin to 'Why did IBM only choose her?') Not only because of her outstanding interpersonal skills, but also because she is acquaintance (This means you know something/someone but probably not very well. I'm not sure if that's what you're really trying to express.) with the Java programming language. Java is one of the courses in our university. since it is arduous to learn, we did not choose it. However, Lily chose it. At that time, we perceive it is unbelievable for her to decide to learn such a difficult course and so rigorous is the professor that it is not easy to get a satisfying grade. But now, we suddenly realize ('realize' what?) and regret not to choose that course. As we can see, that taking arduous class may make us obtain certain unpredictable result?. (This is hardly the same idea as the one you expressed at the beginning of the paragraph - you need to go back there.)
(I personally find it hard to believe that Java would be an 'arduous' course, or IBM would hire someone whose Java grade is not great but happens to be the only person who knows Java out of the whole cohort - your logic is fundamentally flawed because if someone is suitable for a job because that job requires a speciality, then whether that speciality is hard to learn or not doesn't matter at all. Just think about this: quantum physics requires no less effort to learn than Java does, but if Lily has chosen to fight through quantum physics instead, will she still be as employable to IBM? Is she chosen by IBM because Java has given her an advantage, or because Java is difficult and that difficulty has given her an advantage? Is the 'difficult' part of the Java course, or the 'Java' part of the difficult course the REAL reason for her employment? Think about it.)
Furthermore, as the courses which are painful to handle may give us an outstanding ability such as how to face with challenging situations and deal with them. We would be appreciate to taking an arduous class even it is hard to get a higher score. Last semester, for example, I took the analog circuit class. Definitely, it is hard, so I did (I think you mean you 'tried' your best.) my best on it. I listened carefully and made specific notes in classes and found many relative reference books for it. At last, I got a B in this class. Nonetheless, I never regret to choose this course owning to the reason that through the process I fought with (You usually 'fight with' someone, but 'fight' or 'fight against' something.)this arduous class, I obtain (You don't 'obtain' a habit. You 'grow' one.) a good habit on studying. Though I have not gotten an A, there are more other things I learned by taking the analog circuit class ('other things..' LIKE WHAT? Be Specific.). As a result, we should choose class not only due to whether it can be learned easily, but also more attention should be paid on the aspect that if it is helpful in our future or not. We should have a long-term perspective.(That starts to sound surprisingly similar to your first point - '..useful in our future (career)..', which shows that you're not really having very firm, distince arguments from multiple perspectives. Plus, the grammer of your 'not only..., but also...' is wrong - that's why I almost always advise against using it. It's just too difficult to use in terms of the value it may add to your discussion.)
Admittedly, there might be minor drawbacks to choose a challenging or arduous courses when we cannot (I realize that non-native users of English all seem to have a tendency to spell 'cannot' as 'can not'. They're NOT the same. I might want to write up something on this one if I have the time..=.=) get a great grade, such as having no chance to pursuit scholarship (That's already been highlighted. Elaborate a bit more on the exact reason - how are grades related to scholarships anyway? Don't assume scholarships work the same everywhere in the world). However, the merits of taking a hard or challenging course carry far more weight than its disadvantages.
Obviously, from what we have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that choosing a challenging or difficult class is helpful for us even though we cannot get a high mark. Taking a arduous class not only offers us more opportunity to find a wonderful job, but also renders us a chance to rebuild ourselves regardless establishing? a good habit or capability to suffer ('suffer' is a negative word, which doesn't really go with 'capability', or the point you're really trying to express. Use 'endure' instead.) difficulties.
总结:
语法 - 长句的句法很不稳定。请注意检查。
词汇 - 基本上没有很大的问题,但有些词明显用得莫名其妙的要注意一下。另外就是似乎很多人一用比较高级的词,语法就容易开始错乱,这也是语言控制力不够的表现之一。。
逻辑 - 论点方面两个点过于雷同,尤其是还有几乎完全一模一样的论点句 =.= 论述要注意逻辑正确,在第一个分论点中特别指出了推论为什么是错误的,请多加注意。 |
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