独立作文

楠陌UID: 2754159

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? University and colleges shoule gives more callenging courses,even if the students cannot get good grades with such courses. Use specific reasions or examples to support you ideas.
When students graduate from their high school, they often choose to obtain further study in university or college. Though to gain a higher degree to be more competitive in the job market is part of their motivation, to have a specific study on their field is the main power drives them into university. In this way, a qualified university or college should offer variety courses for the thirsty students. Challenging course is no doubt a main dish.
Challenging course will result in a busier college life, however, at the same time,is a crucial step on ones way to an ideal job. Some inquisitive students sometimes may disappointly find that university study is not enough to meet their need. This phenomen is mark of the drawbak of a school. For a university, offering its students as much as they want matters more than the average grade of their school.courses that everyone can easily handle is no need in university. University is a place to learn the skill or thought students are not able to access.it is apparently that people with higher goals tends to gain a better result. In school learning, challenging courses just like higher goals. When the basic course covers the easily accessible knowledge, the challenge course can improve the abilities of students and raise their horizon.
Some people may state their worries that chanllenging course may lead to a condition that few students can get good grades in those course. And the bad grades may show us that the students do not really obtain the essence of the course because it is too abstuse to them.in the opposers theory, Learing nothing from a difficult course is worse than learning a lot in a comparatively superficial course. The fact is just differen from their suggestion. Challenging course can help students dig out their potential energy in some field that they do not have opportunity to realize. And puttng effort in catching a course helps students learn more skill and fashion a steady mind. What they learn from the course is not the only the ostensible knowledge, but also fashion a active heart to face the challenging task in their future
Learing is not for scores. Learing is a process fulfill our heart. If we get through a more challenging road we will achieve the ideal world in our dream
放寒假了……开始拣托福……望赐教……赐各种批评
新手拜谢！

mpromanusUID: 2565872

When students graduate from their high schools, they often choose to obtain ('study' is not something you can 'obtain'. You can either 'receive' or 'pursue' it.) further study in universities or colleges. Though to gain a higher degree in order to be more competitive in the job market is part of their motivation, to have a specific study in their field (You keep mixing up singular and plural forms like 'a..field' with 'their'. It is grammartically confusing. Keep to one form and be consistent.) is the main power that drives them into universities. In this way, a qualified university or college should offer a variety of courses for the thirsty students. A Challenging course is no doubt a main dish. (The question is 'do you agree or disagree', and you're expected to answer that question as in 'I agree.../I don't agree.../I disagree...'. Not whether challenging courses are provided by universities. Not why challenging courses are provided by universities.)

Challenging courses will result in a busier college life, however, at the same time, is a crucial step on one's way to an ideal job. Some inquisitive students sometimes may disappointedly find that university study is not enough to meet their needs. This phenomenon is marks of the drawback of a school. For a university, offering its students as much as they want matters more than the average grade of their school? (Do you mean 'grades IN school'?). Courses that everyone can easily handle is not needed in university. (I've personally yet to see any course that EVERYONE can easily handle..even before university. Whether a course is easy to handle or not depends on multiple factors, and it's very dangerous to make such absolute statements.) University is a place to learn the skills or thoughts that students are not able to access (If students are not able to access them, how do they learn them??). It is apparently that people with higher goals tends to gain a better results ('results' in what?). In school learning, challenging courses are just like higher goals. When the basic course covers the easily accessible knowledge, the challenging course can improve the abilities of students and raise their horizons. (You can only 'broaden' someone's horizon. If you can 'raise' the horizon, you'd be a god or sorts.)

(You've been beating on the 'higher goals' point for quite a while, but you still fail to pinpoint what exactly the reasoning is here. You discussed various things in this paragraph: ..meeting students' needs..higher goals->better results..improve abilities of students.. but can you tell me in one sentence the answer to the issue given in the question? Try that. That's the purpose of this essay. If you can't fulfill this purpose, your essay is just randomly listing down relevant facts, information and statements without any solid argument.)

Some people may state their worries that chanllenging courses may lead to a condition that few students can get good grades in those courses. And the bad grades may show us that the students do not really obtain the essence of the course? because it is too abstruse to them. In the opposers theory, learing nothing from a difficult course is worse than learning a lot in a comparatively superficial (You seem to mean that the opposite of 'difficult' is 'superficial' - that's unwarranted.) course. The fact is just different? from their suggestion. Challenging courses can help students dig out their potentials energy in some fields that they do not have opportunity to realize?. (Now, is a 'challenging course' the ONLY way to uncover student potential? Isn't a 'superficial' course a great way to spark interest in students and help them to uncover a certain degree of potential, while not pushing them too hard for grades? My point is that your argument is easy to refute because the sentences are not seamlessly connected in ideas, and leave a lot of 'holes'.) And puttng effort in catching up with a course helps students learn more skills and fashion a steady mind. What they learn from the course is not the only the ostensible knowledge, but also fashion an active heart to face the challenging tasks in their future. (Again, the same question: how does this conclusion answer the question? You need to go back there because, well, that's the question you're expected to answer..)

Learning is not for scores. Learning is a process to fulfill our hearts. If we get through a more challenging road we will achieve the ideal world in our dreams. (A conclusion paragraph is where you summarize your main arguments and clearly state your stand again. Don't inadvertently start new topics that you never mention in the essay - like the 'ideal world' here. You're to close the essay, not to trail off with more room for discussion.)

总结：

语法 - 你的句式变化很好很努力，可是你的分句句法不是很稳定，请注意分句。

词汇 - 请注意拼写错误，尤其是句首字大写。。

逻辑 - 每一段都要在段尾点题，你要想想我说了这些怎么能说明问题中问的那个事情。另外，这是一个同意/不同意的问题，所以你的开头结尾段都要以同意或者不同意为论点，不要升华出你没展开的论点，不要道德化。

travelbublleUID: 2633518

谢谢！！！各种抱歉……第一次捡起来写竟然写完了……一鸡冻直接传上来了……收获太大了！希望能继续得到你的指点！

mpromanusUID: 2565872

这位同学，请你注意，我不接受同一个人用马甲来重复求改！=.=