1006G[redemption]备考贴 by 丹心

ahmxwdUID: 2390552

第五次作业



136"The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
topic:

Although people are not able to choose the objective circumstance or to make choice before the rules of the nature, they can choose their own attitudes and values.
Begin:

People has the ability of self-judgment and sense of awareness with which they can always make their choice thus differ human beings from other animals

Middle:
1.
The world as well as the circumstance (including social and nature) where we live is both objective and unchangeable at least at the moment we have to make choice.
2.
There exist objective laws and rules of the nature confronting which we can only choose to obey these rules instead of breaking them and make the choice we wish.
(e.g.: nascence, growing up, sickness, death; the running of time cannot be stopped or delayed; the development of all the matters is irreversible)
3.
people can choose their own attitudes towards and views on these objectiveness and we can also choose our way of life(our religious belief, standards, form our own social circumstance and institutions)
Conclusion:
What kind of value and views on our life, the world to have is the place the choice of people mainly lies.





TOPIC: ISSUE136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
WORDS: 706


Whether we have a choice is not merely a subjective matter, since our world where we live cannot be changed by our thoughts. Thus, a large number of choices are limited and in many circumstance, we do not have the choice.
With the evolution of mankind and the development of civilization, people are equipped with the ability of self-judgment and sense of awareness with which they can always make their choice thus differ themselves from other animals. We can choose our interest, our careers and even what to have for breakfast. It seems that we are masters of the earth or the world and we can do whatever we want to.
However, this is not simply the case. If people think more when meeting a choice or look back on the choice they have made before, it is easy for them to find that most or nearly almost all the choices they have made or need to make are limited by numerous factors, from social laws to the ability of themselves, and from nature circumstance to some external factors in the surroundings of each person like available time, space and tools. The result may be that there is only one choice for them, that is——to accept.
The world is both objective and unchangeable at least the moment we have to make our choice. The only choice people can make is to adapt themselves to the external surroundings instead of omitting the existence of these limits. For example: All people in the world want to lead a happy and comfortable life with affluent food, clothes and other resources, while because of different speed of paces of development and the gap between the rich and the poor, great number of people still have to live in poverty, furthermore some of them suffers the war and regional conflicts owing to the terrorism around the world. Can we say that they have the right to choose their own lives?
Not only the surroundings or externals, there still exist objective laws and nature rules confronting which people can only choose to obey instead of breaking them. These nature laws are applicable to all the creatures and human beings are not exception. The process of the life is from cradle to grave including nascence, growing up, being sick and death. All people want to choose to live a much longer life than others which is free from being sick or enduring toughness, while the fact is that the only thing they can do is to acknowledge and accept them.
What's more, the development of matters is irreversible and it is one of the nature laws as well. People can choose to look back on, but cannot go back to the past.
Learning from the past, taking hold of the present and looking forward to the future is what people can do.
Although humans have seriously limited choice and may have no more than one choice when considering those objective existences, We should also see the imitativeness of human which is also a born nature of mankind that they are almost free from those external limitations as referring to their own spiritual conditions and minds. Every person can choose his or her own attitudes towards and views on the external existed factors. People are able to make their own choices in such fields as religious belief, standards of behavior, etc and choose what kind of person he or she will become. As we know, people in nearly the same condition may have apparent differences among them in lots of aspects: escaping from toughness or confronting with it, becoming altruism or egoism, holding optimist or pessimistic views on life full of turbulences and unknown...which to choose is all up to themselves.
As part of the world and the nature, we must admit the fact that we have limited and even no choice during our interaction with the outside world, while at the same time, we should also take into account our imitativeness and realize that what kind of spiritual world can be constructed by ourselves with out any external restrictions and actually, the absence of choice is really a circumstance that is very, very rare in this regard.
What kind of views on value of every person's life, the world to choose to have and the kind of person to become is the place where there always lie the choices for all the people. What kind of choice will you make?

ahmxwdUID: 2390552

170"The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
Topic:
Begin
With the evolution of mankind and development of our society, people’s view of standards on a so called great nation has also witnessed great changes from focusing on the rights and authorities to concentrating on individuals.
Middle:
1.
People’s welfare reflects the prosperity and affluences of a nation as well as the satisfactory in the fields of meeting material needs of the citizens which is an indispensible factor for a great nation refereeing to today’s standards.
2.
Prosperity or richness alone can not stand for the comprehensive national strength and greatness of a country, since partial judgment may lead to serious misunderstandings.
(National security/stability, social harmony)
3.
The meaning of greatness of a country: not only benefit its own people, but the contribution it has made to the world and human beings as a whole, while the great individuals are perfect figures that can particularly show the influence of the nation.
(in judging of the greatness of a person…great people should)
Conclusion:
As we attach great importance to the individuals in judging the greatness of a country, we should take into account both the common individuals and the great ones.（interconnected…）




TOPIC: ISSUE170 - "The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
WORDS: 614


In today's world that is making progress with each passing days, with the evolution of mankind and development of our society, people's view on standards about a so called great nation has also witnessed great changes from focusing on the power of authorities to concentrating on individuals.
As a crucial factor for a great nation refereeing to today's standards, people's welfare reflects the prosperity and affluences of a nation as well as the satisfactory in the aspects of meeting material needs of its citizens. As is known to all, it is a basic requirement by people for a great nation to become a comfortable place for people to live, while general welfare of all the dwellers is a sound foundation.
However, prosperity or richness alone can not stand for the comprehensive national strength and greatness of a country, since incomprehensive standards may lead to serious misunderstandings of the real conditions. Apart from prosperity, basic needs of individuals in modern societies also includes national security and stability because of people’s wishes to maintain their comfortable life, to choose their own way of life and to build a world in which there exist equality and mutual respect among all the people. Owing to large numbers of individual persons that form a society and a nation, the conditions of different individuals whose common need including both material and spiritual satisfaction have a close relation to the country as a whole. Take mutual respect for example: there still exists discrimination and inequality in a lot of countries and regions which badly damages the consolidation, peace and harmony of it. If we leave such problem unnoticed, different kinds of social problems will soon come along after the prosperity shown in general welfare of all the people. It's needless to ask whether we can call this kind of nation a great one. Besides, ignoring the importance of freedom will not only provoke unsatisfactory but will also seriously hamper the pace of development. Lowing down the speed of pace of progress makes a country easy to lag behind while making up for the lost and catching up with the pace of the times entails much longer time and greater efforts that making a nation hard to become outstanding, let alone to be great.
On talking about the greatness of a nation, it is obvious that people not only consider its own comprehensive national strength, but its contribution to the world and human civilization as well which just like making comments on a person: neither his or her own ability nor his or her contribution and personal affection would be omitted. Although the efforts of the common people cannot be neglected, we have to acknowledge the fact that rulers, artists, scientists, and so on with their achievements make obvious contribution to the world that greatly accelerate the pace of progress of mankind. These factors play important roles during our consideration of greatness of a country.
A person in the society is not an isolated individual. Since mankind is a kind of social animal, every person cannot avoid carrying out interactions with others. The achievements of rulers bring about comfortable living and working condition for all the citizens making them work harder to raise the productivity and the overall strength of the country. What’s more, the achievements of scientists push forward the development of technology which enables people work more efficiency, live more conveniently with the help of fast transportation, advanced and useful facilities such as hand dryer, air-conditioned bus stop, etc.
In conclusion, since we attach great importance to the individuals in judging the greatness of a country as discussed above, we should take into account both the common individuals and the great ones which is also a way of showing our fairness and respect of others.

fayafayUID: 2743416

16# ahmxwd
Whether we have a choice is not merely a subjective matter, since our world where we live cannot be changed by our thoughts. Thus, a large number of choices are limited and in many circumstance, we do not have the choice. (提出总论点)
With the evolution of mankind and the development of civilization, people are equipped with the ability of self-judgment and sense of awareness with which they can always make their choice thus differ themselves from other animals. We can choose our interest, our careers and even what to have for breakfast. It seems that we are masters of the earth or the world and we can do whatever we want to.（这一段建议删除，觉得跟总论点没什么关系）

However, this is not simply the case. If people think more when meeting a choice or look back on the choice they have made before, it is easy for them to find that most or nearly almost all the choices they have made or need to make are limited by numerous factors, from social laws to the ability of themselves, and from nature circumstance to some external factors in the surroundings of each person like available time, space and tools. The result may be that there is only one choice for them, that is——to accept.（在有限制条件下，没有选择的情况的存在）


The world is both objective and unchangeable at least the moment we have to make our choice. The only choice people can make is to adapt themselves to the external surroundings instead of omitting the existence of these limits. For example: All people in the world want to lead（live） a happy and comfortable life with affluent food, clothes and other resources, while because of different speed of paces of development and the gap between the rich and the poor, great number of people still have to live in poverty, furthermore some of them suffers the war and regional conflicts owing to the terrorism around the world. Can we say that they have the right to choose their own lives? （我觉得这个论据有点牵强，live in poverty的人可以选择到一些developed的地区去打拼来改变自己的现状的啊~）
Not only the surroundings or externals, there still exist objective laws and nature rules confronting which people can only choose to obey instead of breaking them. These nature laws are applicable to all the creatures and human beings are not exception. The process of the life is from cradle to grave including nascence, growing up, being sick and death. All people want to choose to live a much longer life than others which is free from being sick or enduring toughness, while the fact is that the only thing they can do is to acknowledge and accept them（指代不明，是指the fact还是free from sick, toughness?）.
What's more, the development of matters is irreversible and it is one of the nature laws as well. People can choose to look back on, but cannot go back to the past.
Learning from the past, taking hold of the present and looking forward to the future is what people can do.（这一句有点多余，上一句可以合并到上一段）
Although humans have seriously limited choice and may have no more than one choice when considering those objective existences, We should also see the imitativeness of human which is also a born nature of mankind that they are almost free from those external limitations as referring to their own spiritual conditions and minds. Every person can choose his or her own attitudes towards and views on the external existed factors. People are able to make their own choices in such fields as religious belief, standards of behavior, etc and choose what kind of person he or she will become. As we know, people in nearly the same condition may have apparent differences among them in lots of aspects: escaping from toughness or confronting with it, becoming altruism or egoism, holding optimist（optimistic） or pessimistic views on life full of turbulences and unknown...which to choose is all up to themselves.（这段论述得很赞，论据也很有说服力，尤其排比）
As part of the world and the nature, we must admit the fact that we have limited and even no choice during our interaction with the outside world, while at the same time, we should also take into account our imitativeness and realize that what kind of spiritual world can be constructed by ourselves with out（without） any external restrictions and actually, the absence of choice is really a circumstance that is very, very rare in this regard.(有选择的情况)
What kind of views on value of every person's life, the world to choose to have and the kind of person to become is the place where there always lie the choices for all the people. What kind of choice will you make? （结尾似乎有点削弱文章总的论述的感觉，只讲了有选择的情况，没有提到文中大量论述的没有选择的情况）

论述地很充分，从不同的角度分析了有无选择的情况，但是有的论据不是特别充分。结尾的话，没有统括全文。

liuxingllyUID: 2703703

TOPIC: ISSUE170 - "The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."
WORDS: 614


In today's world that is making progress with each passing days, with the evolution of mankind and development of our society, people's view on standards about a so called great nation has also witnessed great changes from focusing on the power of authorities to concentrating on individuals.（开头立即切入主题，简洁明了）
As a crucial factor for a great nation refereeing to today's standards, people's welfare reflects the prosperity and affluences of a nation as well as the satisfactory in the aspects of meeting material needs of its citizens. As is known to all, it is a basic requirement by people for a great nation to become a comfortable place for people to live, while general welfare of all the dwellers is a sound foundation.（论点明确，论述准确，点到为止）
However, prosperity or richness alone can not stand for the comprehensive national strength and greatness of a country, since incomprehensive standards may lead to serious misunderstandings of the real conditions. Apart from prosperity, basic needs of individuals in modern societies also includes national security and stability because of people’s wishes to maintain their comfortable life, to choose their own way of life and to build a world in which there exist equality and mutual respect among all the people. Owing to large numbers of individual persons that form a society and a nation, the conditions of different individuals whose common need including both material and spiritual satisfaction have a close relation to the country as a whole. Take mutual respect for example: there still exists discrimination and inequality in a lot of countries and regions which badly damages the consolidation, peace and harmony of it. If we leave such problem unnoticed, different kinds of social problems will soon come along after the prosperity shown in general welfare of all the people. It's needless to ask whether we can call this kind of nation a great one. Besides, ignoring the importance of freedom will not only provoke unsatisfactory but will also seriously hamper the pace of development. Lowing down the speed of pace of progress makes a country easy to lag behind while making up for the lost and catching up with the pace of the times entails much longer time and greater efforts that making a nation hard to become outstanding, let alone to be great. （这段花了很大笔墨去论述社会的安定，和谐等因素。我的意见是，社会安定和谐与百姓的物质生活水平都是general welfare里包含的因素，而且题目中给的都是general welfare，应该不把物质因素和社会安定因素看成两个方面来论述，应该是一个方面中的两个点，之间也不应该是However关系。）
On talking about the greatness of a nation, it is obvious that people not only consider its own comprehensive national strength, but its contribution to the world and human civilization as well which just like making comments on a person: neither his or her own ability nor his or her contribution and personal affection would be omitted. Although the efforts of the common people cannot be neglected, we have to acknowledge the fact that rulers, artists, scientists, and so on with their achievements make obvious contribution to the world that greatly accelerate the pace of progress of mankind. These factors play important roles during our consideration of greatness of a country.
A person in the society is not an isolated individual. Since mankind is a kind of social animal, every person cannot avoid carrying out interactions with others. The achievements of rulers bring about comfortable living and working condition for all the citizens making them work harder to raise the productivity and the overall strength of the country. What’s more, the achievements of scientists push forward the development of technology which enables people work more efficiency, live more conveniently with the help of fast transportation, advanced and useful facilities such as hand dryer, air-conditioned bus stop, etc.（这一段的论述角度很好，但是缺乏生动具体的例子。）
In conclusion, since we attach great importance to the individuals in judging the greatness of a country as discussed above, we should take into account both the common individuals and the great ones which is also a way of showing our fairness and respect of others.
全文的语句非常多样化，而且论述很有条理。除了我对于第二个论点的一个意见，我觉得本文还缺少一个比较生动具体的例子，如果有一个可能更好。

lcv8006UID: 2452096

Top20
212"If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."
It is by striving for reaching a series of goals in different period of time that people can make progress and contribution to the development of the society and civilization. In the pursuit of attaining goals, all means can be taken. However, whether any mean is justifiable to the so called worthy goal remain(remains) untenable.(中性论点）

The ways taken by people may not necessarily lead them to their goals since no one can tell the trend of the process before taking actions to gain direct experience and information crucial for making judgments.（好长的句子，做了结构分析才读明白。感觉分论点后直接接例子有一些突兀，最好加一句过渡句） During educational revolution in some areas aiming to reduce the burden of study on the shoulder of their students, some elementary schools introduce a lot of practical lessons including social service program, while at the same time, broaden the range of test to evaluate the overall ability of a certain students. This kind of way to help students to develop in an all-round way will add the burden of students rather than reduce it. What’s more, too much outclassing activities can badly affect the study of some basic courses such as mathematics, foreign language which is an important foundation for future learning. Similar situation can also be seen in other fields outside education where at some times, ways may lead in a wrong direction.Time will not stop its pace of running which all for people's persistent advancement and progress.（没读懂） People's striving for a certain goal should not be at the cost of over wasting the resources available （有语病）because the goal is and will never be the ultimate one, and people have to get prepared for future development based on the current. If not doing so, the achievements will not last long and the efforts made before may be of no use in the end. Even a real worthy goal is only part of the business. It will never be justifiable for someone to reach one goal by unrestricted using of the resources which does great harm to the development in the long run in future.（education的例子很好，论述合理）
Means taken to attain a certain goal should not contradict those taken to reach other worthy goals.（分论点2） It is almost impossible for people to attain only one goal and neglect the existence of other ones, since our life is not mono dimensional. All people in the world have to deal with different kinds of problems simultaneously, and goals in different aspects of life are of great importance to lead a harmonious life. In today’s society featuring rapid life tempo, many governments encourage competition among citizens for the purpose of raising national productivity, While at the same time, the cultivation of goodness in humanity is also considered which is also one of the crucial element in civilization. Another example is during the process of industrialization to reach the goal of building a modern society in some developing countries, protection of nature environments is never neglected with the aim of building a sustainable society for the wale fare of future generations. Any worthy goal deserve great efforts make by people which account for a certain indispensible part of the overall development.
Instead of taking metaphysics views by separating goals from other facts and concentrating only on attaining one goal, people should take into account the possible future trend as well as rationality of the means taken. Only in this way, can they reduce possible risks as much as possible and maintain the stability of the achievements as well.

整篇文章，语言和词汇相当厉害，至少我远远达不到。
感觉段与段之间，还有整个论述中，表起承转合的副词用得太少，给人感觉有些突兀，结构不够紧密。
逻辑关系清晰，但论述不够深入。两个分论点之间的逻辑关系不明朗。

ahmxwdUID: 2390552

第七次作业：

TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

The ability of creating and making new breakthrough is playing more crucial role in gaining success in all walks of life from politics to government since person has to adapt himself to the ever-changing outside world. Consequently, vitality, as the cradle of innovation, has drawn increasing attention. In order to meet the needs of this trend of time and make further progress, institutions in different fields should find some proper ways to revitalize themselves.
Someone put forward the suggestion of changing those in power every five years aiming to gain revitalization is in some way reasonable as evidenced in the changing of government official in power regularly. President of the United States can be re-elected only once. It has to be acknowledged that frequent alternation of leader ship can provide positive effects in some way by introducing new rules, creative thoughts, and measures of dealing with problems in accordance with the changed situation. Innovation, an indispensible element needed for making achievements, will arise from the country that full of vitality and finally become a kind of powerful driving force that push the country moving ahead.
In spite of this, whether the frequent alternation which seems to instill vitality to an institution or a country and hence become the surest path to success is doubtable at least in some fields.
As is known to all, there always exists risks and uncertainty during people's marching for success which may evolve into some knotty barricades standing in the way. This kind of facts is best shown in some enterprises and educational institutions. Unclear economic situation, financial crises that keep cropping up these years...all contribute to an insecure environment where there exist no way that will surely lead someone to success. The nature of finance a business is in itself full of chances as well as crises. In spite of vitality, other facts having something to do in the result also deserve attention such as related policy, social needs, and customers' interest to name just a few. What's more, new leaders may not always have the courage to break the old and obsolete tradition and the ability to set a proper and innovative plan of making progress in the long run.
People should never neglect the side effects that might come along with this kind of practice by making hasty decision without comprehensive consideration.
Frequent changing of leaders who have the power to regulate and set new rules would do great damage to the stability and unification to a certain institution thus does harm to its future development and prospect. Here I want to take my university for example: Several years ago when the president of the university decided to alternate the deans of every college every three years to bring something new to the regular teaching, a lot of mentors and teachers dedicated themselves to earning a place in the school broad of trustee aiming to get higher salaries. From that time, students found it difficult to turn to their mentors for help since they were busy preparing for the coming election. Regularly changing the power class may not ensure revitalization and even something positive. Moreover, the internal destabilization come up with this kind of change make it hard for people to adapt themselves in time.
Alternation doesn't mean revitalization and revitalization cannot ensure a safe way for proceeding. Vitality can do considerable help to people while stepping down of those in power is not the only way. It is wise for those in power to make communication with the people in the profession to keep the pace with the times and remain vital during the future advancement.


TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 616
TIME: 00:45:00 +4

As is widely acknowledged that it is quite necessary and crucial for people to look back on the past and learn from the history for the purpose of further improving ourselves and having a better tomorrow. So, the far reaching significance brought about by the study of history that benefits all people living nowadays can never be simply judged through retrospect alone. Learning from the history not only ties the current with the past, but also links today with tomorrow in the way of informing people what is correct or deserves man’s effort to do well.
Time, like a kind of transparent rope, tightly tie together all the events occurred during the process of civilization of human beings.
Through learning from the past, people come to have some basic concepts of the nature of human. Everything, man included, in a certain period of time serves as the cause of events in the future as well as the sound foundation necessary for future development. Without Galileo’s(a very famous physician) discovery on the relation between force and motion, Newton would not have come to know the classic theory of physics that reveal the objective law of nature through continuing the research left by scientists who shared the same view on a certain problem; Without the industrial revolution that first broke out in Britain, technology that favors people would not have been so advanced and helpful today. Current technology and man's wisdom base on the past. Obviously, people's nature and habits also revolve from those in the past by looking into the past which means people in any period of time are closely linked to each other. However, what we can get from studying history is not as simple as it seems to be.
History serves as a beacon that guides people to move forward in a right direction as well as a mirror reflecting the image helping people to know more about themselves.
In spite of the fact that there exists similarity deriving from the cause and effect relationship between people in different periods of history as discussed above, man should also make out the significant differences hidden below seeming. Owing to what has been learnt from the past, human beings have witnessed profound changes that differ the current form the past. Having suffered from two gloomy world wars, people have come to realize the importance of peace thus making Peace and Development the theme of the times. The main course of the changes concerning the world situation is change in humanity caused by the history men have gone through. Humanity never remains the same since making progress is an irreversible trend during the process of evolution. In this regard, profound changes have made people quite different from those in another period of time.
Since modern age is in close relationship to the past, the same principle applies to that between contemporary and future. From studying history, the importance of making improvement in humanity by overcoming shortages such as geek, violence and selfish for the sake of building a better future is widely agreed and thus calling for the requirement of setting a guideline for the future since the events today will have something to do with the future. History tells people what is correct and what deserves efforts such as peace, benevolence, friendship and so on. People should make best use of these precious experience brought about by history and choose a right way of development. This is where the chief benefit of studying history exactly lies.
Learning from past experience and make improvement in accordance with the requirement of given by the trend of times is the vary benefit gained from history which people should always cherish and make full use of.

ahmxwdUID: 2390552

TOPIC: ARGUMENT150 - The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.

"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."
WORDS: 446


In the letter distributed to the editor of environmental magazine, the author claim that it is because of the global pollution that cause the declining of the numbers of amphibians worldwide by giving statistics from Yosemite National Park during certain periods of time. The conclusion that it is water and air pollution instead of trout that make the numbers of amphibians decline is unsubstantially supported.
To begin with, the author takes the Yosemite National Park for example which is far from sufficient to support the conclusion since the decline in numbers of amphibians in Yosemite National Park might not stand for the world as a whole. And two studies only are not enough to make conclusion in a wide range. Before it can be confirmed that Yosemite National Park is representative enough to show the total trend of the situation outside and provide a larger sample, drawing conclusion is quite fallacious.
Furthermore, the argument stated is weakened by the time the studies made, since situations might be different. Possibly, most amphibians had moved into another natural environment around Yosemite National Park because of limited living space with the growing number of creature due to people's civilization that affect the living environment of all the local animals. The result of study that comes from observation by people is not reliable enough as during some seasons such as winter, most animals including amphibians prefer to hide themselves in a place not easy to discover. It will be more persuasive if the writer can give other people adequate evidence to show the reliability of the research.
Another problem with the argument stated is that it assumes that the effect of trout has on the number of amphibian can be equally applied to Yosemite National Park and the world at large. However, this might not be the case, concerning a series of reasons. Maybe the living condition in Yosemite National Park is favorable to trout making it easy to breed and exert obvious effect on the amphibians by eating amphibian eggs. Perhaps, the fast growing in number of trout constrains the living space of amphibians and forces the amphibians to move out. Without discussing and ruling out these possibilities, it is not justifiable for the author to conclude that trout cannot cause the decline of trout.
In addition, the author assumes that the pollution and the introduction of trout are two alternatives mutually exclusive with no reasons given. None other causes, like change of the climate, preyed by other animals, are considered or discussed.
In order to make this argue substantial and compelling, the author need to give more evidence on the reasons of the decreasing of the amphibian on earth.

ahmxwdUID: 2390552

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."

The author suggested the citizens in Clear view elect Ann Green, a member of the GEC(Good Earth Coalition) instead of Frank Braun, who is a member of CTC(Clear view town council) for the reason that the increased level of air pollution is due to the incompetence of the members of CTC. However, the reasons and evidence given might not be persuasive enough to support the conclusion given by the author.
To begin with, the increased number of factories might not necessarily be the main reason since the original number of factory is not given. It is possible that the total amount of factor is in Clear view is not large enough to cause obvious air pollution especially when these factories take effective efforts to purify the exhaust before emitting into the air. What's more, it is likely that there are alternate facts other than the factories increasing the air pollution level such as the exhausts emitted by vehicles on the road, high level of carbon dioxide owing to the large population in that place, even the air pollution from the cities adjacent to Clear view would have something to do with the environmental deterioration.
What's more, the evidence of raised percentage of patients with respiratory illness among all the patients treated is not well grounded because the ratio of patients suffering respiratory illnesses could still be very low when compared with the number of all the patients treated in the hospital. If those patients suffered from diseases other than respiratory illness were cured during the time when the number of those with respiratory sickness remains unchanged, this percentage would also rise to a higher level. The author also failed to take into consideration the other possible inducement in close connection with the breakout of respiratory illness like the climate, interaction of virus among people, allergy and so on. During the time of transmission between seasons, it is quite easy for people to get cold and give rise to respiratory diseases with temperature frequently vibrating throughout each day. Virus might be taken from other cities by travelers from that place which has always been the main reason that causes of epidemic including respiratory illness. To strengthen the assuming, all these possible facts should be discussed.
Finally, whether the environmental problems can be solved properly by Ann Green is still uncertain since no evidence is given to show the possibility of this kind of result. The election of Ann Green could, on the contrary, make the problems even more serious.
The reasons from the author seem to be logical at first glance, but without further considering and discussing the aspects of the problem above, the conclusion hastily made is by no means justifiable.

christophyUID: 2667869

主要功夫花在第一篇issue上面，后面出现类似的问题就不再多说了。
晚上关于某些题目最好讨论一下

tunicateUID: 2722773

抱歉之前有事一直没法上网贴修改。。。
前面是I的~

TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

The ability of creating and making new breakthrough is playing more【and more】 crucial role in gaining success in all walks of life from politics to government since person has to adapt himself to the ever-changing outside world. Consequently【连接词用的很好，避免了thus等第一反映词】, vitality, as the cradle of innovation, has drawn increasing attention. In order to meet the needs of this trend of time and make further progress, institutions in different fields should find some proper ways to revitalize themselves.

Someone put forward the suggestion of changing those in power every five years aiming to gain revitalization is in some way reasonable as evidenced in the changing of government official in power regularly. President of the United States can be re-elected only once. It has to be acknowledged that frequent alternation of leader ship can provide positive effects in some way by introducing new rules, creative thoughts, and measures of dealing with problems in accordance with the changed situation. Innovation, an indispensible element needed for making achievements, will arise from the country that full of vitality and finally become a kind of powerful driving force that push the country moving ahead.


In spite of this, whether the frequent alternation which seems to instill vitality to an institution or a country and hence become the surest path to success is doubtable at least in some fields.


As is known to all, there always exists risks and uncertainty during people's marching for success which may evolve into【include更好些？】 some knotty barricades standing in the way. This kind of facts is best shown in some enterprises and educational institutions. Unclear economic situation, financial crises that keep cropping up these years...all contribute to an insecure environment where there exist no way that will surely lead someone to success. The nature of finance a business is in itself full of chances as well as crises. In spite of vitality, other facts having something to do in【with】 the result also deserve attention such as related policy, social needs, and customers' interest to name just a few. What's more, new leaders may not always have the courage to break the old and obsolete tradition and the ability to set a proper and innovative plan of making progress in the long run. 【是在否认surest么？总觉得TS句可以不那么绕。中间适当使用长句可以使文章增色，但现在这样的结构有点不是很清晰——段中划线句完全可以放句首。】


People should never neglect the side effects that might come along with this kind of practice by making hasty decision without comprehensive consideration.


Frequent changing of leaders who have the power to regulate and set new rules would do great damage to the stability and unification to a certain institution thus does harm to its future development and prospect. Here I want to take my university for example: Several years ago when the president of the university decided to alternate the deans of every college every three years to bring something new to the regular teaching, a lot of mentors and teachers dedicated themselves to earning a place in the school broad of trustee aiming to get higher salaries.【可以稍微解释下么，有点没看懂。。】 From that time, students found it difficult to turn to their mentors for help since they were busy preparing for the coming election. Regularly changing the power class may not ensure revitalization and even something positive. Moreover, the internal destabilization come up with this kind of change make it hard for people to adapt themselves in time.【其实还有更好的例子。这里说“Preparing for the election”影响教学，事实上更好的论据是“Change of the policy”会产生何种影响】


Alternation doesn't mean revitalization and revitalization cannot ensure a safe way for proceeding. Vitality can do considerable help to people while stepping down of those in power is not the only way. It is wise for those in power to make communication with the people in the profession to keep the pace with the times and remain vital during the future advancement.
【相较于开头两段，真正点题的结尾反而仓促了。开头两段是让步让出去的，完全可以再少些】
【总的来说，整体语言很漂亮，但是相应内容安排还需再注意~】


TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 616
TIME: 00:45:00 +4

As is widely acknowledged that it is quite necessary and crucial for people to look back on the past and learn from the history for the purpose of further improving ourselves and having a better tomorrow. So, the far reaching significance brought about by the study of history that benefits all people living nowadays can never be simply judged through retrospect alone. Learning from the history not only ties the current with the past, but also links today with tomorrow in the way of informing people what is correct or deserves man’s effort to do well.【这句复句用的相当好~】


Time, like a kind of transparent rope, tightly tie together all the events occurred during the process of civilization of human beings.


Through learning from the past, people come to have some basic concepts of the nature of human. Everything, man included, in a certain period of time serves as the cause of events in the future as well as the sound foundation necessary for future development. Without Galileo’s(a very famous physician) discovery on the relation between force and motion, Newton would not have come to know the classic theory of physics that reveal the objective law of nature through continuing the research left by scientists who shared the same view on a certain problem; Without the industrial revolution that first broke out in Britain, technology that favors people would not have been so advanced and helpful today. Current technology and man's wisdom base on the past. Obviously, people's nature and habits also revolve from those in the past by looking into the past which means people in any period of time are closely linked to each other. However, what we can get from studying history is not as simple as it seems to be.


History serves as a beacon that guides people to move forward in a right direction as well as a mirror reflecting the image helping people to know more about themselves.


In spite of the fact that there exists similarity deriving from the cause and effect relationship between people in different periods of history as discussed above, man should also make out the significant differences hidden below seeming. Owing to what has been learnt from the past, human beings have witnessed profound changes that differ the current form the past. Having suffered from two gloomy world wars, people have come to realize the importance of peace thus making Peace and Development the theme of the times. The main course of the changes concerning the world situation is change in humanity caused by the history men have gone through.【仍然是有点不明白】 Humanity never remains the same since making progress is an irreversible trend during the process of evolution. In this regard, profound changes have made people quite different from those in another period of time.


Since modern age is in close relationship to the past, the same principle applies to that between contemporary and future. From studying history, the importance of making improvement in humanity by overcoming shortages such as geek, violence and selfish for the sake of building a better future is widely agreed and thus calling for the requirement of setting a guideline for the future since the events today will have something to do with the future. History tells people what is correct and what deserves efforts such as peace, benevolence, friendship and so on. People should make best use of these precious experience brought about by history and choose a right way of development. This is where the chief benefit of studying history exactly lies.


Learning from past experience and make improvement in accordance with the requirement of given by the trend of times is the vary benefit gained from history which people should always cherish and make full use of.
【整体结构比前一篇明了的多，但第5段的主旨我不是很了解。你看起来强调是“由于我们从历史中学到了教训所以我们不同”但是末段的总结却更偏重于“这种趋势是相同的”，有时虽然主旨句傻了点放上还是能使文章逻辑更清楚的】
另外下回附上提纲吧：>

tunicateUID: 2722773

A的部分

TOPIC: ARGUMENT150 - The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.

"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."
WORDS: 446


In the letter distributed to the editor of environmental magazine, the author claim that it is because of the global pollution that cause the declining of the numbers of amphibians worldwide by giving statistics from Yosemite National Park during certain periods of time. The conclusion that it is water and air pollution instead of trout that make the numbers of amphibians decline is unsubstantially supported.
To begin with, the author takes the Yosemite National Park for example which is far from sufficient to support the conclusion since the decline in numbers of amphibians in Yosemite National Park might not stand for the world as a whole. And two studies only are【simply】 not enough to make conclusion in a wide range. Before it can be confirmed that Yosemite National Park is representative enough to show the total trend of the situation outside and provide a larger sample, drawing conclusion is quite fallacious.
Furthermore, the argument stated is weakened by the time the studies made, since situations might be different. Possibly, most amphibians had moved into another natural environment around Yosemite National Park because of limited living space with the growing number of creature due to people's civilization that affect the living environment of all the local animals.【论据和论点没有对上。应该在两者间加上“During this time gap, a lot of factors may contribute to the decline in amphibians number of the two lakes, such as…”】 The result of study that comes from observation by people is not reliable enough as during some seasons such as winter, most animals including amphibians prefer to hide themselves in a place not easy to discover. It will be more persuasive if the writer can give other people adequate evidence to show the reliability of the research.
Another problem with the argument stated is that it assumes that the effect of trout has on the number of amphibian can be equally applied to Yosemite National Park and the world at large. 【这一句逻辑和之后的论证不太一样吧。。。】However, this might not be the case, concerning a series of reasons. Maybe the living condition in Yosemite National Park is favorable to trout making it easy to breed and exert obvious effect on the amphibians by eating amphibian eggs. Perhaps, the fast growing in number of trout constrains the living space of amphibians and forces the amphibians to move out. Without discussing and ruling out these possibilities, it is not justifiable for the author to conclude that trout cannot cause the decline of trout.
In addition, the author assumes that the pollution and the introduction of trout are two alternatives mutually exclusive with no reasons given. None other causes, like change of the climate, preyed by other animals, are considered or discussed.
In order to make this argue substantial and compelling, the author need to give more evidence on the reasons of the decreasing of the amphibian on earth.【such as。。。结尾还需加强】



TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
The author suggested the citizens in Clear view elect Ann Green, a member of the GEC(Good Earth Coalition) instead of Frank Braun, who is a member of CTC(Clear view town council) for the reason that the increased level of air pollution is due to the incompetence of the members of CTC. However, the reasons and evidence given might not be persuasive enough to support the conclusion given by the author.
To begin with, the increased number of factories might not necessarily be the main reason since the original number of factory is not given. It is possible that the total amount of factor is in Clear view is not large enough to cause obvious air pollution especially when these factories take effective efforts to purify the exhaust before emitting into the air. What's more, it is likely that there are alternate facts other than the factories increasing the air pollution level【作者是以air pollution证明原委员会做的不够，你这里并不能驳斥这一点】 such as the exhausts emitted by vehicles on the road, high level of carbon dioxide owing to the large population in that place, even the air pollution from the cities adjacent to Clear view would have something to do with the environmental deterioration.
What's more, the evidence of raised percentage of patients with respiratory illness among all the patients treated is not well grounded because the ratio of patients suffering respiratory illnesses could still be very low when compared with the number of all the patients treated in the hospital. If those patients suffered from diseases other than respiratory illness were cured during the time when the number of those with respiratory sickness remains unchanged, this percentage would also rise to a higher level. 【这点其实有点牵强】The author also failed to take into consideration the other possible inducement in close connection with the breakout of respiratory illness like the climate, interaction of virus among people, allergy and so on. During the time of transmission between seasons, it is quite easy for people to get cold and give rise to respiratory diseases with temperature frequently vibrating throughout each day. Virus might be taken from other cities by travelers from that place which has always been the main reason that causes of epidemic including respiratory illness. To strengthen the assuming, all these possible facts should be discussed.
Finally, whether the environmental problems can be solved properly by Ann Green is still uncertain since no evidence is given to show the possibility of this kind of result. The election of Ann Green could, on the contrary, make the problems even more serious.
The reasons from the author seem to be logical at first glance, but without further considering and discussing the aspects of the problem above, the conclusion hastily made is by no means justifiable.
【其实我觉得你没必要把攻击笔墨都给Not did enough，其他方面，比如说不一定是FB责任，或A爱护环境，不一定能做好其他实际问题等，要兼顾到
另外下次请附A提纲】

P.S
1、你的第九次作业呢？
2、我的第八和第九次作业貌似还没拍过，什么时候拍呢？？