习作ARGUMENT238 有拍必回

bzr2915UID: 2612029

238The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees."At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
提纲：
1、Green Mountain College的情况不一定适用于Mira Vista College
可能 Green Mountain College的学生就业要求低

2、即便情况相似 Green Mountain College的就业高与MORE BUSINESS COURSES AND MORE  JOB COUNSELORS并没有直接的因果关系，可能Green Mountain College在当地有着很好的声誉，或是Green Mountain College的经济系学生和学生总数太多（自然要开更多的BUSSINESS COURSES 和 请更多的XX)

3、即便Green Mountain College是由于MORE BUSINESS COURSES AND MORE     JOB COUNSELORS致使的高就业率，Mira Vista College在没有调查具体课程及咨询内容的情况下盲目加课及进行简历及面试培训是草率的。

字数515 这次写的时间太长了 走了太长的神....

The advice that to help Mira Vista's(MV) graduates improve their employment, which followed the example of Green Mountain College(MGC) might be advisable and effective. After all, MGC which nearby MV has an excellent rate of employment . However, the author unecessarily concludes that the success of MGC is owned to the more courses in business and hire additional job counselors which seems to be uncovincing and superficial might be beg the questions. This conclusion involved in the argument might be cause misleading to MV as the follow respects.

First, the author bases on the merely fact that MGC has more business courses and more job couselors claiming that the higher rate of employment is straightforward result from it, which seems reasonable at first glance but further reflection reveals that this assumption is unwarranted. Consider, for example, MGC is a business college and has more students than MV, which might be a sound reason account for more business courses and more job counselors in the school. In this situation, it is useless for MV to offer more courses and counselors. Another explaination is not far to seek, consider, for example, MGC is a famous college which has a better reputaion than MV in the region. In this assumption, a higher rate of employment might be somewhat reasonable to MGC .If the author can't rule out this and other alternative explanations, it is reasonable for us to cast doubts on the conclusion.

Second, the author overlook the difference of two school's students especially in the choice of the job which suit for their appetites. It is likely that MV's students tend for a high salary or more comfortable job, in the contrast MGC students' just want a job that could afford their lives' cost without more request. Common sense tell us that a lower request for the job will open much more chances for one to be employed though what is not so good considered by the MV's students, which is enough to result in a high-low employment between them.

In the final analyse, even though MGC's high employment rate is due to the courses of business and more counselors, it is not safe under the condition that MV don't know clearly what MGC's detail courses and the content of the consult to introduce into more board business courses and more counselors who helping improve interviwing skill and writting of resumes. It most likely that MGC's students learned a more systematic business and employment training which can not be simply imitated by increase the number of business courses and counselors to solve up.

The argument point out a possible way to settle the low rate employment problem in MV which might be potentially ineffective before a further survey that make clear what the MGC's real reasons that lead to a higher rate of employment. Not until the author could rule out all the doubt points such as the student number of, the reputation of, as well as the detail courses and consult content of MGC, it is unfounded to reach the conclusion involved in the conclusion.