Issue70 求拍 有拍必回~！

SasakiKojiroUID: 2678315

70"In any profession—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."
提纲：
1、
简要概括，反对观点。
2、
如果掌权者是优秀的，能帮助大众的，退位可能带来严重的后果。例子罗斯福。如果罗斯福在五年后退位，即使美国能从经济危机中复苏，但能在二战中带来胜利吗？
3、
新上任的掌权者经验不如前者丰富，可能导致各种不必要的错误。在商业，经验是靠长期的积累而成，即使新人能通过培训，但新上任对周围的环境不熟悉，可能会带来业绩的下降；在教育，5年期间掌权者可能在研究某项课题，退位会让他放弃自己的研究，同时新任一代也不能接好下面的工作。
4、
因此，如果掌权者为大众带来许多利益，5年的任期可能对他来说太短。

The author contends that every leader in any profession should step down after five years, and revitalization benefits a lot in access of success. The following reasons, I maintain against the author, are playing much more important roles in the problem than whether a leader should step down after five years and whether revitalization is needed.

In the realm of politics, a leader of government should be encouraged to continue to his leadership if his people had benefits a lot after he became a president several years before. Franklin D.Roosevelt, a most famous chairman in the history of America, has been the president for 12 years over disastrous problems such as financial crisis and the World War II from 1933 to 1945. After he has become the president of America in 1932, new strongly measures have been taken to deal with the biggest problem in the world- the financial crisis, which lead people in growing numbers to live a miserable life. As a result, these measures contribute greatly to solve the majority number of the seriousness of problems. In addition, Roosevelt’s politics have provide America strongly attitude toward Japan and Germany. Without Roosevelt, or when he had step down after five years, even if America would reduce the unfavorable effects of financial crisis, would another president fight against with Japan and Germany?

Furthermore, 5 years may be not enough time to adopt a person in his favorable position. In the areas of business, to a large extent, a leader who has step down may have much more experience and lay stress on unpleasant attitude toward him than a new leader who has just finished his study courses. It is possible for a freshman to make several mistakes in a big company due to the alien environments and unfamiliar faces. In the domain of education, during 5 years, a leader of university or high institute may still pay favorable attention to the development of his research subject like the theory of the black hole. When we ask him to step down equates with aborting his research subject, which may put human in a considerable position in the universe, and no one can guarantee that the next chairman is able to deal with it in a better way.

To sum up, it is absurd to hold the opinion that everyone in power in any profession should step down every 5 years, and new leadership will produce many serious problems that we never meet before. Consequently, if a great leader has made our society dramatically changed, we tend to have a pleasant attitude toward him and 5 years may be too short.

fayafayUID: 2743416

The author contends that every leader in any profession should step down after five years, and revitalization benefits a lot in access of success. The following reasons, I maintain against the author, are playing much more important roles in the problem than whether a leader should step down after five years and whether revitalization is needed. (这句chinglish得厉害了点，建议修改为：I maintain an opposite attitude toward the problem about whether the step down of the leaders after 5 years is necessary, or the revitalization is needed. 个人意见~)

In the realm of politics, a leader of government should be encouraged to continue to(去掉) his leadership if his people had benefits（benefited） a lot after he became a president several years before. Franklin D. Roosevelt, a most famous chairman in the history of America,( who) has been the president for 12 years over disastrous problems such as financial crisis and the World War II from 1933 to 1945. After he has become the president of America in 1932, new strongly (and strong) measures have been taken to deal with the biggest problem in the world- the financial crisis, which lead people in growing numbers to live a miserable life （which has led people to live in miserable lives）. As a result, these measures contribute (have contributed) greatly to solve the majority number of the seriousness of (建议删掉，与greatly重复了) problems. In addition, Roosevelt’s politics have provide(d) America (去掉，加a) strongly (strong,与之前同错) attitude toward Japan and Germany. (这个...需要展开)Without Roosevelt, or when (or if) he had step (stepped) down after five years, even if America would reduce the unfavorable effects of financial crisis, would another president fight against with(去掉) Japan and Germany? （论据蛮好，表达需改进）

Furthermore, 5 years may be not enough time to adopt a person in (你这里应该是用adapt吧？adopt是采用。建议改为for a person to adapt to) his favorable position. In the areas of business, to a large extent, a leader who has step (stepped) down may have much more experience and lay stress on unpleasant attitude toward him (啥意思?没看懂) than a new leader who has just finished his study courses. It is possible for a freshman to make several mistakes in a big company due to the alien environments and unfamiliar faces. (似乎与论点脱节了) In the domain of education, during 5 years, a leader of university or high institute may still pay favorable attention to the development of his research subject like the theory of the black hole. When we ask him to step down equates with aborting his research subject, which may put human in a considerable position in the universe, and no one can guarantee that the next chairman is able to deal with it in a better way. (这段论述的很好，论据也很有说服力)
To sum up, it is absurd to hold the opinion that everyone in power in any profession should step down every 5 years, and new leadership will produce many serious problems that we never meet before. Consequently, if a great leader has made our society dramatically changed, we tend to have a pleasant attitude toward him and 5 years may be too short.

注意语法和表达Chinglish现象比较严重
第三段里面论点与论据有一点脱节