【clover】argument117习作 by 黑竹

黑竹UID: 2753377

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 356          TIME: 01:44:12          DATE: 2010-2-7 21:43:07


In this argument, according to the survey that people take more work home from workplace, the manager of Valu-Mart stores concludes that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. A carefully examination of this argument reveal that this conclusion is groundless.

First, the survey revealed that people take more work home from their workplace, however, we should know that the majority of their work is still done in the workplace. This means that only a small proportion of the total work is done in people's home. Therefor, I don't think the work at home can significantly increase the demand of the home office machines. Any way, the work done at home is not the most important part of their work. It is not worthwhile for doing these peripheral work to buy office machines. As a result, people taking more work home do not necessarily bring increasing sales of office machines to Valu-Mart stores.

Secondly, the fact people bring more work home has little to do with the demand of office supplies. Even if more work is taken home from workplace, the total amount of work does not change radically. So the total demand of office supplies will not increase significantly, and the condition Valu-Mart stores faces is probably unchanged. Therefor, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores is quite doubtable.

Thirdly and finally, from the argument we know that "Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past". What could this mean? This means that there may be some other factors resulting in Valu-Mart's unimpressive sales. The unimpressive sales may result from relative high price, inadequate sale channels or poor management.

In summary, from the survey, we can not come to the conclusion that Valu-Mart's office-supply department will become the most profitable component of the stores. To increase the sales of office machines, Valu-Mart has to improve its other qualities,such as the price of its products, the sale channels, its management and so on

JulymayUID: 2645085

In this argument, according to the survey that people take more work home from workplace, the manager of Valu-Mart stores concludes that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. A carefully examination of this argument reveal that this conclusion is groundless.
（开头简洁明了，没什么说的~）


First, the survey revealed that people take more work home from their workplace, however, we should know that the majority of their work is still done in the workplace. This means that only a small proportion of the total work is done in people's home. Therefore, I don't think the work at home can significantly increase the demand of the home office machines. Anyway, the work done at home is not the most important part of their work. It is not worthwhile for doing these peripheral work to buy office machines. As a result, people taking more work home do not necessarily bring increasing sales of office machines to Valu-Mart stores.（我觉得从带回家的工作不是大部分这个角度说，不够有力。）

Secondly, the fact people bring more work home has little to do with the demand of office supplies. Even if more work is taken home from workplace, the total amount of work does not change radically. So the total demand of office supplies will not increase significantly, and the condition Valu-Mart stores faces is probably unchanged. Therefor（拼写错误哦）, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores is quite doubtable.

Thirdly and finally, from the argument we know that "Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past". What could this mean? This means that there may be some other factors resulting in Valu-Mart's unimpressive sales. The unimpressive sales may result from relative high price, inadequate sale channels or poor management.（这后面最好再加一个结论驳斥作者的逻辑~）

In summary, from the survey, we can not come to the conclusion that Valu-Mart's office-supply department will become the most profitable component of the stores. To increase the sales of office machines, Valu-Mart has to improve its other qualities, such as the price of its products, the sale channels, its management and so on.(结尾的建议如果能跟前文呼应得更加紧密就好了~)



总体没什么问题~逻辑清晰还是很棒的~~~有一些拼写错误，不过都是小问题~~~加油哦~~~

黑竹UID: 2753377

In this argument, according to the survey that people take more work home from workplace, the manager of Valu-Mart stores concludes that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. A carefully examination of this argument reveal that this conclusion is groundless.

First, the survey revealed that people take more work home from their workplace, however, we should know that the majority of their work is still done in the workplace. This means that only a small proportion of the total work is done in people's home. Therefore, I don't think the work at home can significantly increase the demand of the home office machines. Anyway, the work done at home is not the most important part of their work. It is not worthwhile for doing these peripheral work to buy office machines. As a result, people taking more work home do not necessarily bring increasing sales of office machines to Valu-Mart stores.

Secondly, the fact people bring more work home has little to do with the demand of office supplies. Even if more work is taken home from workplace, the total amount of work does not change radically. So the total demand of office supplies will not increase significantly, and the condition Valu-Mart stores faces is probably unchanged. Therefore, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores is quite doubtable.

Thirdly and finally, from the argument we know that "Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past". What could this mean? This means that there may be some other factors resulting in Valu-Mart's unimpressive sales. The unimpressive sales may result from relative high price, inadequate sale channels or poor management. As a result, the trends of people taking more work home may not significantly change the unimpressive sales of Valu-Mart’s office-supply departments.

In summary, from the survey, we can not come to the conclusion that Valu-Mart's office-supply department will become the most profitable component of the stores. And the unimpressive sales of office supplies in the past reveal that there are other factors, such as the price of its products, the sale channels, its management and so on, limiting the sales.

misirUID: 2684938

In this argument, according to the survey that people take more work home from workplace, the manager of Valu-Mart stores concludes that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies at all Valu-Mart stores, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores. A carefully examination of this argument reveal that this conclusion is groundless.

First, the survey revealed that people take（时态不一致！）more work home from their workplace, however, we should know that the majority of their work is still done in the workplace. This means that only a small proportion of the total work is done in people's home. Therefor, I don't think the work at home can significantly increase the demand of the home office machines. Any way, the work done at home is not the most important part of their work.（我觉得这句话跟前面的不是重复了么？？？） It is not worthwhile(我查了牛津，这个词的用法是worthwhile to do sth. 或者worthwhile doing sth.) for doing these peripheral（觉得不准确。。） work to buy office machines. As a result, people taking more work home do not necessarily bring increasing sales of office machines to Valu-Mart stores.

Secondly, the fact people bring more work home has little to do with the demand of office supplies. Even if more work is taken home from workplace, the total amount of work does not change radically. So the total demand of office supplies will not increase significantly, and the condition Valu-Mart stores faces is probably unchanged. Therefor, the conclusion that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores is quite doubtable.

Thirdly and finally, from the argument we know that "Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past". What could this mean? This means that there may be some other factors resulting in Valu-Mart's unimpressive sales. The unimpressive sales may result from relative high price, inadequate sales channels or poor management.(觉得米讲清楚。。。)

In summary, from the survey, we can not come to the conclusion that Valu-Mart's office-supply department will become the most profitable component of the stores. To increase the sales of office machines, Valu-Mart has to improve its other qualities, such as the price of its products, the sales channels, its management and so on.