[Clover] Argument117 by 辰

missingusaUID: 2625832

117. The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
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Grounding on the survey that over 70 percent of the respondents are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past, and then synthesizing the hypothesis that this group of workers will purchase home office machines and the suggestion to increase stock of office supplies, the author simply draws the summary that their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores, but maybe too simply.

Above all, I would like to check the exact needs of the respondents who share 70 percent of the entire group. Obviously, the author’s conclusion that people demand machines fit for home when they work at home may be somewhat straightforward. In most situations clerks who take work home to finish it in time tend to stay up late and probably a fully automatic espresso coffee machine is needed in order to refresh themselves at midnight instead of cool operating machines. In addition, whether most of those respondents who require tools for home use have already complete their shopping lists in other stores out of the local area is of great importance to take into count. It might be the case that though Valu-Mart is seemingly take advantage of the work-at-home trend according to their current survey, they have been dropped behind by its competitors in the same field, for the stuff perhaps have spend too much time dealing with their unimpressive sales in the past and waste the optimal opportunity to succeed. Moreover, the necessity of increase the stock of home office machines at all stores is open to doubt. As is discussed above, Valu-Mart will possibly benefit more by aiming at the areas which are still vacant in applying mini sized office machines at home and consequently become the newest and most approachable provider without any potential opponent.

What’s more, to upswing stock of office supplies is not likely to be a smart way of obtaining profits. Considering its poor sales in the past, it is possible that there still remains sufficient storage to dispose and increasing stock without revising their plan into a right way on the market will just work out a meaningless result of overflow. With regard to this, such strategy as doing a survey on their products’ quality, color, styles or some other aspects is recommended. Furthermore, hiring a more capable manager to ameliorate the present embarrassing situation of the office-supply departments may also be an applicable way.

All in all, the business manager ought to lay enough emphasis on both sales and the structure of stuff belonging to the office-supply departments as well as the consumers’ actual needs for them in order to guarantee its competitive strength among other stores. To achieve the target of being the most profitable component of Valu-Mart store, it may help if more surveys are carried out and analyzed carefully.

七七夕夕UID: 2753801

Grounding on the survey that over 70 percent of the respondents are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past, and then synthesizing(合成，综合比较客观，这里应该是作者主动形成的假说，用form，formulate，develop, make都有创立的意思) the hypothesis that this group of workers will purchase home office machines and the suggestion to increase stock of office supplies, the author simply draws the summary that their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of their stores, but maybe too simply. Above all, I would like to check the exact needs of the respondents who share 70 percent of the entire group. Obviously, the author’s conclusion that people demand machines fit for home when they work at home may be somewhat straightforward.(在没有说明白为什么的时候，建议不要直接说obviously，因为至少我认为在没有说服我之前没有那么的obviously，放在说理之后比较好) In most situations clerks who take work home to finish it in time tend to stay up late and probably a fully automatic espresso coffee machine is needed in order to refresh themselves at midnight instead of cool operating machines. In addition, whether most of those respondents who require tools for home use have already complete their shopping lists(complete shopping list?有这样的说法吗？我查到的有finish their collections or finish their shopping) in other stores out of the local area is of great importance to take into count(take into account). It might be the case that though Valu-Mart is seemingly（seemingly是adv，不用is） take advantage of the work-at-home trend according to their current survey, they have been dropped behind by its competitors in the same field, for the stuff perhaps have spend too much time dealing with their unimpressive sales in the past and waste the optimal opportunity to succeed. Moreover, the necessity of increase the stock of home office machines at all stores is open to doubt. As is discussed above, Valu-Mart will possibly benefit more by aiming at the areas which are still vacant in applying（supplying） mini sized office machines at home and consequently become the newest and most approachable provider without any potential opponent. What’s more, to upswing(是名词) stock of office supplies is not likely to be a smart way of obtaining profits. Considering its poor sales in the past, it is possible that there still remains sufficient storage to dispose and increasing stock without revising their plan into a right way on the market will just work out a meaningless result of overflow. With regard to this, such strategy as doing a survey on their products’ quality, color, styles or some other aspects is recommended. Furthermore, hiring a more capable manager to ameliorate the present embarrassing situation of the office-supply departments may also be an applicable way. All in all, the business manager ought to lay enough emphasis on both sales and the structure of stuff belonging to the office-supply departments （这点前面提到了吗？sorry，印象不深了）as well as the consumers’ actual needs for them in order to guarantee its competitive strength（competitiveness就是竞争力的意思了）among other stores. To achieve the target of being the most profitable component of Valu-Mart store, it may help if more surveys are carried out and analyzed carefully.

七七夕夕UID: 2753801

颜色掉得厉害了。。。