IBT特训营独立作文——舍得与放弃ＢＹ雾都孤儿

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第一楼暂时空缺，留作最后的总结之用。

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ADVERTISEMENTS MADE PRODUCTS SEEM BETTER THAN THEY ARE. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGRESS?



Since the advent of the commercial activities, adevertisements eventually prevail in the world. Nowadays, widespread and influential, advertisements are capable of convincing people to purchase commodities that seeming great. After the development of modern technology, nowadays we are enjoying a convenient way  of advertising. The Internet and television make us more accecieble to commodities.In spite of above mentioned, I agree with the option that advertisements  often atach extra infomation, which is almost exaggerated, to the orignal commodities.



Unfortunately,  almost pouring into every part of our lives, advertisements force us to adopt to admitte certain commodities, which is notiing but seeming nice. While hurrying to work more and more, chasing our aims, or focus only on money making, practically we never have enough time to
select what is really essential to us and have forgotten one of our primary ability of social needs is to  select items by our own jurdge not the information from the advertisment. To save time， people place too concern on the advertisement.



Furthermore,considerable advertisments practically  have placed us into a reckless condition,by involving celebrities in it.Consequently,our jurdge to the commodity is misleaded. Certain celebrities are so influential thatcompanies make the best ues of their fame.As a result, a group of loyal fans rush into the stors thinking that the commodity is as good as the celebritied. what's more,we even take for granted that commodities failing to be made an excellent advertisment are ususlly not good enough.



Not only the celebrities invoving in the adevertisements have made the commoditity seeming more better but also the modern technology uesed in the advertisements has been misleading consumers.From the television, we never see a spot on the surface of a car; we are surprised at the perfect face of some star; we even feel the food in the TV is the most delicious. The adevertisements has made ordinary so seeming perfect. This fact gives the answer to the question why more and more consumers are addicted to the commercial game nowadays.



Although adevertisements along with the modern technology have made people accessible to much more commodities, it can never present from the fact that advertisments always makes commodities seem better than they are.Therefore, I truly believe that commodities are often irrationally presented in the advertisements.

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Since the advent of the commercial activities, adevertisements eventually prevail in the world. Nowadays, widespread and influential, advertisements are capable of convincing people to purchase commodities that seeming great. After the development of modern technology, nowadays we are enjoying nowadays a convenient way of advertising. The Internet and television make us more accessible to commodities (You don't make people 'accessible' to commodities. You make commodities 'accessible' to people.Think about this: do you access the Internet, or does the Internet access you? It's the target of 'access' that is 'accessible', not the other way round.). In spite of the above mentioned, I agree with the option (Usually, an agree/disagree question is not talking about options. It's subject matter would be a 'statement'.) that advertisements often attach extra infomation (The question's wording is that ads make products seem 'better'. 'Extra information' doesn't necessarily mean 'good information'; bad things can be 'exaggerated' too. You're basically changing  the mearning of the question here. Be very careful.), which is almost exaggerated, to the orignal commodities.

Unfortunately, almost pouring into every part of our lives, advertisements force us to adopt to admitte? (So it's 'adopt' or 'admit'?) certain commodities, which is are nothing but seeming nice. While hurrying to work more and more?, chasing our aims, or focusing only on money-making, practically we practically never have enough time to select what is really is essential to us, and have forgotten one of our primary abilities of social needs? is to  select items by our own jurdgement, not by the information from the advertisments. To save time, people place too much concern on the advertisements. (The question is asking you whether the advertisements are indeed making products look better than they really are. It's not asking you whether people place too much concern on the advertisements, nor it's asking about how people have lost their judgement. You can write very emotionally about how advertisements have impacted people's judgement, or about how people have lost their virtues because they 'focus only on money-making', but in the end you need to ADDRESS THE QUESTION.)

Furthermore, considerable advertisements (At the very least, if a word appears in the question, then you should spend some effort to spell it correctly.) practically have placed us into a reckless condition, by involving celebrities in it (What? If you mean 'advertisements', then you should have used 'them' at least.). Consequently,our jurdgement to on the commodity is misleaded. Certain celebrities are so influential that companies make the best uses of their fame. As a result, a group of loyal fans rush into the stores thinking that the commodity is as good as the celebrities. what's more,we even take for granted that commodities failing to be made have an excellent advertisements are ususlly not good enough. (Very good point here.)

Not only the celebrities invoving in the adevertisements have made the commodities seeming more better, but also the modern technology uesed in the advertisements has been misleading consumers. From the television, we never see a spot on the surface of a car; we are surprised at the perfect face of some star; we even feel the food in the TV is the most delicious. The adevertisements have made the ordinary so seemingly perfect. This fact gives the answer to the question why more and more consumers are addicted to the commercial game? nowadays. (Without this last sentence, your paragraph would be just nice. With this last sentence, however, you're arguing a different question. The original question is not about why consumers are addicted to commercials.)

Although adevertisements along with the modern technology have made people accessible to much many more commodities (See previous comment.), it can never present from the fact? that advertisments always makes commodities seem better than they are. Therefore, I truly believe that commodities are often irrationally presented in the advertisements.

总结：

额~这位童鞋你的拼字要注意一下。。起码题目里用到的字尽量不要拼错。。

另外要注意的就是句子之间的过渡不是很顺，尤其是起首段，基本看不大出上一句话怎么能到下一句的。另外就是注意切题，不要看到一个广告之类的字就想到现代社会金钱至上这些道德层面的东西去然后就很激情澎湃不管题目到底在问你什么。。在每一段的结尾，就算你不回去点题，也最好问问自己我这一段说明的东西和题目的关系，和我的主要论点的关系是什么，而且不要在段落的最后一句话去说和论题不相干的东西。随时要注意你的责任是把你的主要论点说明白，而不是写一篇多么道德正确人文关怀社会现象观察的文章，这样。