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AW有些来不及准备了,写了第一篇ARGU,请TX们帮忙修改下,是否模版的感觉比较强呀? [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-11 14:27:08 |显示全部楼层
感觉结尾太短,不太好写,望TX们不吝赐教
TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

In this letter a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres recommends that in order to raise the property values there, they should carry out certain restriction concerning about yard's landscaping and the exteriors appearance. To support this reccomendation the committee points out that in the seven years since the Brookville adopt the similar restrictions property values there has tripled. At first glance, the recommendation seems somewhat reasonable, but close scrutiny reveals that it contains some unsubstantiated assunptions.

First of all, the committee unfairly indicates that the implementation of set of restrictions concerning about yard's landscaping and housepainting is responsible for the raise of the property values in Brookville. Actually, there could be many other possibilities. For instance, perhaps a railway station was built near the Brookville during past seven years so that it is the convenient transpotation that makes the property values in Brookville rise; or perhaps some shopping mall was built in or in the region close to the Brookville; and perhaps a growth of population in Brookville also contributes to the raise of property values. Without ruling out these possibilities, I cannot accept the committee’s point that it is the adoption of restrictions that cause the rising property values.

Secondly, even I concede that the raise of property values is attributable to the implementation of restricaions, the committee fails to account for the possible differences between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres that might help to bring about a different result to Deerhaven Acres. For example, perhaps people in Brookville like uniform living surroundings, while those in Deerhaven Acres prefer varied appearance. So a similar set of restrictions applied in Deerhaven Acres may cause the number of potential house-buyers decrease. For that matter, the property valus in Deerhaven Acres will decrease rather than increase. So the adoption of the similar set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting cannot achieve the same effect if Deerhaven Acres simply follows Brokkville's experience.

Finally, even assuming that the implementation of restrictions can raise the property values in Deerhaen Acres, such action may bring the homeowners of Deerhaven Acres many disturbances. For instance, homeowners in Deerhaven Acres cannot accept the high cost of housepainting and landscaping; poeple there may feel disturbed because the peocess of housepainting will emit poisonous gas which will impair the homeowners' health who live in Deerhaven Acres. Without thinking about these disadvantages, the committee's recomendation is unpersuasive.

To sum up, the recomendation for the implemntation of certain restrictions is not well supported. To bolster it the committee must provide more evidence. To better assess the recommendation I would need to know whether some constructions such as railway station, or supermaket, or shopping mall was built during the last seven years in Brookville.

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发表于 2010-2-11 14:30:26 |显示全部楼层
应该发到作文板块滴~

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发表于 2010-2-11 14:44:39 |显示全部楼层
3# Bela1229
谢啦

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RE: AW有些来不及准备了,写了第一篇ARGU,请TX们帮忙修改下,是否模版的感觉比较强呀? [修改]

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AW有些来不及准备了,写了第一篇ARGU,请TX们帮忙修改下,是否模版的感觉比较强呀?
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1059944-1-1.html
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