argument 26 argument165 感觉很多表达不准确

peanut1008UID: 2499237

TOPIC: ARGUMENT26 - The following appearedin a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.

"For the past five years, Mr. CharlesSchade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during thattime the school band from Steel City High has won three regional bandcompetitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities andmusical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past fiveyears. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school boardshould hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programsfor the entire Saluda school system."


In the memo the chairperson of the Saludasuggests that their school should hire Mr.Schade to plan and direct the generalmusic education programs for the entire Saluda school system. At first glanceof the reason and course, it seems reasonable. However, after a twice thinking,there are a great deal of fallacies in the memo that the chairperson fails toconvince me of the suggestion.

One of the significant problem in the memois that the chairperson simply assumes that Steel City High School is similarto the high school in Saluda.
Even though the two shool would havesomething in common, actually there would be some differences between them. Itis possible that the students in the school would be different. On the onehand, it is possible that the student in Steel City High School have much moreenthusiasm than the student in Saluda. On the other hand, may be the student inSteel City High School have stronger learning ability than the student inSaluda. And, perhaps, the student in Steel City High School feel like the wayof teaching of Mr. Schade, which the student in Saluda may not.

In addition, there is no more informationabout the competitions. Granted that the Steel City High School has won threeband competitions, we have no ieda about the number of the competitors. Ifthere is only a small number of competitor in the competition, win the band competitions could not reveal that the musicalability of the students is excellent, let alone the teaching ability of thedirector. Moreover, the stage performance on the competition would influencethe result of the competitions.Perhaps, the Saluda student felt nervous in thecompetition, thus they did not perform as they used to be.In absence ofproviding more details about the competitions, the chairperson is unsuccessfulto convince me of the suggestion.

Besides,the chairperson simply establishesthe causal relationship between the improvement in the instruments and the level of the board. The quality of the musicfacilities and musical instruments would have some effect on the level of theboard, unfortunately, that is not major factor. It is probably that the skillof the player that would determine the performance of the play.And, if the student could practice hard every day, they would probably improve their performance.


Accordingly, with the fallacies considerabove, the chairperson performs ineffectively to persuade me of the suggestion.

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TOPIC: ARGUMENT165 - The following appearedin a business magazine.

"As a result of numerous consumercomplaints of dizziness and nausea, Promofoods requested that eight millioncans of tuna be returned for testing last year. Promofoods concluded that thecans did not, after all, contain chemicals that posed a health risk. Thisconclusion is based on the fact that the chemists from Promofoods testedsamples of the recalled cans and found that, of the eight chemicals mostcommonly blamed for causing symptoms of dizziness and nausea, five were notfound in any of the tested cans. The chemists did find that the three remainingsuspected chemicals are naturally found in all other kinds of cannedfoods."



In the argument the author claims that thePromofoods did not contain chemicals that posed a health risk. At the firstglance of the reason and the course, it seems reasonable. However, there are agreat deal of fallacies in the conclusion that the author fails to convince meof the conclusion.

Although there are a variety of factorscould cause the dizziness and nausea ,yet the chemists in the Promofoods wouldbe the major factor.It is entirely possible that afrer eating the Promofoodsthe consumer suffered from the dizziness and nausa. Furthremore, the number ofthe consumer is in a large scale. Thus, there could probably have somerelationship, which could not be considered as an accidently phemonena, betweenthe dizziness and the Promofoods. Hardly can we assume that most of theconsumers who complained to have the symptoms of dizziness and nausa, got theirdizziness and nausa by other factors.

In addition, the author intent to supportthe conclusion by providing the result of the tested sample. Unfortuantely,
the study is open to doubt scince there is nomore information about the study. Are the sample large enough? Besides, arethey selected randomly? In addition, could they represent the over all numberof the food?And, the study was conducted by the Promofoods. Could they do thetest objectively and tell the truth forthright.
In absence of providing more details of thestudy, the author is unsuccessful t o convince me of the conclusion.

Moreover, as the author provide in theargument, the chemists did find three remaining suspected chemicals in the can.Although, they are just suspected chemicals and are naturally found in allkinds of canned foods, yet one could not claim that the chemicals have no harmto the health of us. Besides, they only tested the eight chemicals mostcommonly blamed for causing symptoms of dizziness and nausea, however, therecould be some unknown chemicals in the Promofood that could cause dizziness andnausea.

Accordingly, with the problems consideringabove, the author performs ineffectively to persuade me of the conclusion.

目前自我感觉问题
1.模板感强烈
2.语法和表达错误
3.逻辑有时感觉混乱



大家提意见 谢谢

長安UID: 2573189

自己剛列到這篇。
1.請LZ再仔細審題：
"The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda"
"Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
從Steel High到Saluda是被falsely  expanded的問題，而不是一個false analogy的問題。您的第一段基本作廢。