[phoenix] issue48 第三次作业 by 5号

kusinerlooUID: 2608701

48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。

提纲：
支持作者的观点
Point 1：有很多伟人在历史中起到了关键性的作用。
Point 2：我们过分的关注个人，无论什么英雄人物，缺少大众的支持都无法影响历史。
Point 3：分析events和trends，个人只能影响历史中的events，却无法改变历史的trends。

When it comes to the development of history, I strongly agree the speaker’s claim that the key determinant of history is not the famous few but rather the masses. However, the speaker’s claim also has little flaws while appealing in some respects. The assertion that the events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few but the masses is inaccurate. In my observation, the trend of history depends on the masses, but the events in history are probably hinge on the few individuals.

Admittedly, the influence of individuals played an irreplaceable role in the human’s history. Consider certain prominent individuals who have influenced the significant events in our history. Alexander the Great was a Greek king who established a splendid empire and is remembered for spreading Greek civilization into the East and Egypt. Although both Alexander’s reign and empire were short-lived, the cultural impact of his conquests lasted for centuries. Alexander’s life was related to many significant events in history. In short, we can easily conclude that a few people, especially a few prominent individuals, have primary effect on the significant events in history.

However, the effect of famous individuals is only one factor influencing the events in history. I concede that unless the few individuals took the leading role, that the significant event would totally different. But in my observation after thinking awfully, only have a few key individuals is insufficient to the significant events in history. As the example above, Alexander the Great changed profoundly to our world, but many significant events could not existed without the backing of the masses and soldiers. After all, the conquest would not finished by a helpless Alexander. As a rule, our attention is arrested by the brilliant people in history, most of us do not realize that the masses, usually be common and characterless, have the crucial power to determine the significant events in history.

Moreover, the speaker’s claim that the trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten is need to doubt. It is possible that certain person could influence the events in history, as mentioned above. But it is impossible that certain person had the ability to influence the trends in history. Generally, society is composed of countless individuals while each of the individuals is no significant. The trends of history depend on the circumstances of the whole society and willing of all the individuals. Using metaphor, we say that a fish cannot change the flow direction of river. In addition, the only way to change the trends of history is using the Butterfly Effect in an indirect way, and it also needs the support of the masses. As a member of society, individual have no a straightforward way to influence the trends of history.

In sum, in respect of the events in history, a few individuals took the leading role, and the masses are the foundation of it as well as an inalienable part. With respect to the trends in history, the individual power is so weak that cannot change the trend immediately. In the final analysis, I agree the speaker’s main idea and give some suggestion to improvement.

wu-intrepidUID: 2659758

1# kusinerloo

When it comes to the development of history, I strongly agree the speaker’s claim that the key determinant of history is not the famous few but rather the masses. However, the speaker’s claim also has little flaws while appealing in some respects. The assertion that the events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few but the masses这句话除了凑字数外实在没什么用，重述观点也要换个表达，何况第一句话已经重述过了。 is inaccurate. In my observation, the trend of history depends on the masses, but the events in history are probably hinge on the few individuals.

Admittedly, the influence of individuals played an irreplaceable role in the human’s history. Consider certain prominent individuals who have influenced the significant events in our history. Alexander the Great was a Greek king who established a splendid empire and is remembered for spreading Greek civilization into the East and Egypt. Although both Alexander’s reign and empire were short-lived, the cultural impact of his conquests lasted for centuries. Alexander’s life was related to many significant events in history. In short, we can easily conclude that a few people, especially a few prominent individuals, have primary effect on the significant events in history.曾经有个人对历史的发展起了重要作用，能不能推出a few people对历史有影响呢?我觉得不能。建议在例子前有个推理的过程，论证可能会严谨些。

However, the effect of famous individuals is only one factor influencing the events in history可是你第一段的TS明明说事件决定于个人啊，这里是不是矛盾了，即便有群众因素，按你第一段的说法，也应该论证个人的主要作用。. I concede that unless the few individuals took the leading role, that the significant event would totally different. But in my observation after thinking awfully这句话去掉绝对不影响表达，所以还是去了好。。。, only have a few key individuals is insufficient to the significant events in history. As the example above, Alexander the Great changed profoundly to our world, but many significant events could not existed without the backing of the masses and soldiers. After all, the conquest would not finished by a helpless Alexander. As a rule, our attention is arrested by the brilliant people in history, most of us do not realize that the masses, usually be common and characterless, have the crucial power to determine the significant events in history.

Moreover, the speaker’s claim that the trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten is need to doubt. It is possible that蓝体部分太像argument...是不是换个表达方式 certain person could influence the events in history, as mentioned above. But it is impossible that certain person had the ability to influence the trends in history. Generally, society is composed of countless individuals while each of the individuals is no significant. The trends of history depend on the circumstances of the whole society and willing of all the individuals. Using metaphor, we say that a fish cannot change the flow direction of river比喻不错. In addition, the only way to change the trends of history is using the Butterfly Effect引入一个新概念最好要解释一下 in an indirect way, and it also needs the support of the masses. As a member of society, individual have no a straightforward way to influence the trends of history.这段有问题，主题句说趋势由群众创造这个说法有问题，可是你却反过来是为之辩护的，你的主题句和你的论证正好相反。

In sum, in respect of the events in history, a few individuals took the leading role, and the masses are the foundation of it as well as an inalienable part. With respect to the trends in history, the individual power is so weak that cannot change the trend immediately. In the final analysis, I agree the speaker’s main idea and give some suggestion to improvement.先不论没看到明确的suggestion，即使有，在issue里是否需要？I要求我们对这个问题提出自己的看法，有没有必要像argu一样去完善作者的观点，我们可以再探讨...

你的主旨应该是the trend of history depends on the masses, but the events in history are probably hinge on the few individuals，但是你的论证并没有严格按这个方向走，尤其是对个人作用的论述，偏离了第一段的主题句和提纲，主题句里说了个人和event的关系，可是你的第三段把这个关系都基本否定了。这样导致上下有些脱节。另外，模板化的语言有点多，少说为妙。最后，语言不错，至少比我强多了。我水平太菜，没挑的出来.....
个人意见，如有不妥，我们互相探讨。            --------写作组2号