[phoenix] issue43 by 6号

hhfboyUID: 2749089

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

A leader is the soul of a group so as to his ability will determined whether the group is flourishing or degenerated. Therefore, the highest ethical and moral standards that associated with the benefit of whole society will be embrace in the leaders' heart. However, an organization is a complicate group for his huge member and intricate association. So a leader has to solve so many tough problems that he requires other abilities rather than moral and standards alone, such as great insight and precise reasoning, etc. Whether a public official is an effective leader, human should estimate these abilities as a whole.


A leader, no matter government official or enterprise chairman, must have the highest ethical and moral standard. Matsushita, who primary ideal is to make contribution to the society, considers that his company must keep a close contact to ordinary people. When it comes to his success in business, he owes it to high obligation to people, the reasonable management, and great insight in the market fluctuation. But the most important factor is the first one. As his high responsibility to human-being, the company's development is always in a correct direction to favor the society's value. However, if a leader lacks these standards, he will face to failure. The Watergate Case is a good example, after people find that their president, Rechard Nixon, was dishonest and improperly operated the reelection, it is doubted if Nixon is still reliable and had the qualification to be a president. At the end of event, Nixon was condemned and became the first on to resign during the term of president on the American history. All above have reflected that a leader should have the highest moral and ethical standards what are the primary characteristic of their own that will influence their actions unconsciously in the diary life.

However, whether a leader could control a group in the hand or not calls for us to have a comprehensive criterion of assessment which takes enormous factors into account rather than only single one. As we all know, to manage to group is a hard work that manager must consider all prospective problems it may happens in the future development. Not everyone can be a leader even if they contain high ethical and moral standards. In human's history, there are so many artists, litterateurs and scientists that embrace a high moral standard, but not to be an eminent leader at last. For example, Confucius has very high ethical and moral standards, but eventually had not been a famous leader since only these are far from enough. So an individual who want to be an effective leader should improve himself in diversity aspects.

In sum, to be a effective leader, an all-round capability will be require rather than only emphasize on the highest ethical and moral standards, such as leadership, ability of dealing with crisis and problems, and the association. If one individual overemphasizes these standards so as to overlooks to foster
other abilities that they must be contained. They will hardly to be a leader, let alone an effective one.

zj-129UID: 2179763

[phoenix] issue43 by 6号
TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

A leader is the soul of a group so as to （个人觉得改成SO THAT好一些，虽然这个普通了点，但是SO AS TO 的前后最好是动态，而此句的前后都是静态） his ability will determined （will determine）whether the group is flourishing or degenerated（词汇用得不错，但是前面既然用了WHETHER,那这里用not虽然简单了点，但是可能更规范）. Therefore, the highest ethical and moral standards that associated with the benefit of whole society will be embrace in the leaders' heart（这个用法很中国。关乎整体利益所以必须包括领导者的？？有点难以理解）. However, an organization is a complicate（complicated） group（organism） for his（its）
huge member (s) and intricate association. So(太简单了吧) a leader has to solve so many tough problems （So many tough problems a leader has to confront）
that he requires（is required）
other abilities rather than moral and (ethical) standards alone, such as great insight and precise reasoning, etc. Whether a public official is an effective leader or not, people(human要么改成human being也成啊) should estimate these (whose) abilities as a whole.


A leader, no matter a (应该要有冠词吧，名词前面) government official or an enterprise chairman, must have the highest ethical and moral standard. Matsushita, whose (who) primary ideal is to make contribution to the society, considering (considers) that his company must keep a close contact to ordinary people. When it comes to his success in business, he owed it to high obligation to the people, the reasonable management, and great insight in the market fluctuation. But the most important factor is the first one. As his high responsibility to human-being, the company's development is always in a correct direction to favor the society's value. However, if a leader lacks these standards, he will face (to直接加名词就可以了吧) failure. The Watergate Case is a good example, after people found (find) that their president, Richard (Rechard) Nixon, was dishonest and improperly operated the reelection, it was (is) doubted that (if) Nixon was (is) still reliable and had the qualification to be a president. At the end of this (or the) event, Nixon was condemned and became the first one (on) to resign during the term of president on the American history. All above have reflected that a leader should have the highest moral and ethical standards which (what) are the primary characteristics of their own that will influence their actions unconsciously in the diary(日记生活？daily?日常生活吧) life.

However, whether a leader could control a group in the hand （？？at hand?）or not calls for us to have a comprehensive criterion of assessment which takes enormous factors into account rather than only single one. As we all know, to manage a (to) group is a hard work that manager must consider all prospective problems it may happens in the future development. Not everyone can be a leader even if he or she (they应该和前面的everyone相对应) contain high ethical and moral standards. In human's history, there are so many artists, litterateurs and scientists that embrace a high moral standard, but not to be an eminent leader at last. For example, Confucius has very high ethical and moral standards, but eventually had not been a famous leader since only these are far from enough. So an individual who want to be an effective leader should improve himself in diversity aspects.

In sum, to be an (a) effective leader, an all-round capability will be required rather than only emphasize on the highest ethical and (only可以搭配使用？) moral standards, such as leadership, ability of dealing with crisis and problems, （最后一个AND之前不用标示逗号）and the association. If a individual overemphasizes these standards so as to (同开篇的感觉) overlooks to foster other abilities that they must be contained. They will hardly to be a leader, （好家伙，这个复数和单数！我被你转晕了）let alone an effective one.


综合评价：
1、
虎头蛇尾，越写越差。（别介意，希望你进步，所以评价很不客气）
2、
论点的层次不够。说理不透辟。比如第二段，领导者应该具有最高级别的。。。标准。马上就连接例子。可是，现实生活中也有很多没有达到最高标准的人是领导啊。你的逻辑论争马上就有漏洞。阅卷者如果看到这里，就会想，这个考生思考问题不够深入，没有充分考虑到问题的复杂性。
3、
例子可以，但是稍显生硬和冗长。应该加大论争的力度。
4、
语法错误太多。G文并不反对你偶尔犯几个语法小错误。但是通篇都是的话，估计分数上不去。