[phoenix] issue103【20100217作业】12号

zj-129UID: 2179763

103 "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

words:591     time:2010-2-17

It goes without saying that history do has value nowadays, or the history teacher will lose their jobs and the museums will be closed as well. However, I do not agree with the author's opinion that historical studies will have value only when it is relevant to our daily lives. The conclusion is too absolute to define all the values the history have. History has value not only to those part which is relevant to the life nowadays but also to those ones which is far away from our contemporary lives.

What is the value of history? A old saying can answer this question. In China, It is said that a old man is the most precious diamond in one family. So is the history. Acrossing the whole world, every nation and race undouboutly will cherish the history of its developement, especially the progress, because the history is the most valuable part of civilization which offer us the experiences and skills to dealing with varied problems to make the world a better place. What is the core significance of history is guidence which can guide us to react so fast and get what we need.

History do have the significance to offers us the most suitable approach to solving similar problems, especially to those problems are direct to our daily lives, the effects are obvious. In 2008, a terrible earthquake happened in China which casue thousands of millions people lost their homes even their lives. History is always the same. In just one year, a disaster took place in Hidi as well. People from different parts of the earth are going to that place to offer international help just as their help in China. The reason why they were reacting so fast is that the historical experience. The same examples we can quote from every field in the world, such as economics, politics, cultures and so on.

As to those far away from the daily life, historical studies can also offer us something in undirect ways. There was a big storm in overall finacial world in 2008. Most countries in the world are through the most hard time in history. A large number of corporations were cloesd and millions of people were fired. None can announce that when the hard time will end. However, we all know it will past, just like the finicial storms in history, such as in 1923 of U.S..The history offer not the specific method to go through but the abstract meaning and the core valuble means.

Under the pragmatism climate, people are accustomed to look for the effective ways to solving daily problems from every field they can find. Thus, some people take the history a useful method to guide our contemproray society and actions is reasonable. However, other meanings will be found in historical field which might not guide our lives directly but might give us the approach to access the core of those problems.

hhfboyUID: 2749089

1# zj-129
103 "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."
It goes without saying that history do has value nowadays, or (and) the history teachers will lose their jobs and the museums will be closed as well(太细节了没深度).(转折关系?) However, I do not agree with the author's opinion that historical studies will have value only when it is relevant to our daily lives. The conclusion is too absolute to define (that) all the values the history has. History has value not only to the parts (aspects) which is relevant to the life nowadays but also to the ones which is far away from our contemporary lives. (chinglish…will influence our diary life in the future)

What is the value of history? An old saying (尽量少用saying这种说法)can answer this question. In China, It is said that an old man is the most precious diamond in one family. So is the history. (Acrossing the whole world)(你这里应该是纵观整个世界的意思吧?) undoubtedly, every nation and race will cherish the history of its development, especially the progress, because the history is the most valuable part of civilization which offers us the experiences and skills to dealing with varied problems to make the world a better place. What is the core significance of history is guidence which can guide us to react so fast and get what we need.(what do you mean?(what is the most important part in our…写不下去还是不知道你想说什么)


History do have the significance to offers us the most suitable approach to solving similar problems, (History has provided us the cherish experience on solving other similar problems…你大概是整个意思吧) especially to those problems what are direct to our daily lives (are related to our daily lives).The effects are obvious. In 2008, a terrible earthquake happened in China which cause thousands of millions people lost their homes even their lives. History is always the same(The history always repeats itself in an amazing way). In just one year, a disaster took place in Hidi as well. People from different parts of the earth are going to that place to offer international help just as their help in China.(going to? 这里应该表达成以各种不同的方式来伸出援助之手吧) The reason why they were reacting(reconstructing, react—起反应的意思) so fast(quickly) is that the(due to) historical experience. The same examples we can quote from every field in the world, such as economics, politics, cultures and so on.

As to (when it comes to) those far away from the daily life, historical studies can also offer us something in undirect (indirect) ways. For instance, (缺少连接..突然就来了个there be句型)There was a big storm in overall financial world in 2008. Most countries in the world are through the most hard time in history.(要表达什么? It is the most difficult period for most counties in history. 是这个吧) A large number of corporations were closed(bankrupted) and millions of people were fired. None (Nobody) can announce that when the hard time will end. (No one can predict that when the crisis will be ended)However, we all know it will past, just like the (other) financial storms in history, such as (the crisis) in 1923 of U.S. The history offers (presents) not the specific method to go through but the abstract meaning and the core valuable means.

Under the pragmatism climate (用得好!), people are accustomed to look for the effective ways to solving daily problems from every field they can find. Thus, some people take the history a useful method to guide our contemproray society(指导目前的社会?) and actions is reasonable. However, other meanings will be found in historical field which might (not…but…不是…而是…的意思,你上面好像也有同样错误, 可以用not only…but also 代替)not guide our lives directly but might give us the approach to access the core of those problems.
点评:
1开头有些问题,建议用个让步,先赞同下作者的观点
2 第二段光说理了 显得太空洞了,适当举些例子.还有个严重的问题….你想说历史是宝贵的财富是吧?这段不清楚你在说什么.
3 第三段写的靠些普…
4 最严重的问题是语言问题….虽然主谓宾都能找到,但是整篇文章都是给人浓烈的chinglish的味道, 建议多换词, 句子 先把主谓宾先写出来 在去弄修饰成分.
整文感觉不好….真的 你要多看看范文了 把语言提高下, 基本的语言不提高(我是说基本的),你论证得再好别人靠不懂也是白搭….