Uranus1989's writing

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.21Do you prefer to finish a project completely then to another one or do two or several projects at a time?

我作文的复习时间段都是在晚上，所以每次改的都会比较晚，童鞋见谅~~

Even though handling one project at each period has its own advantages such as preventing us from being distracted by other things, the rapid pace of daily life propels us to handle one more projects. Besides, personally, I still prefer to handle many projects at the same time.
第一段很好呀，提出观点很自然~
To start off, it is unlikely that we have many opportunities to process projects one after another. We can take the final exams for a concrete example. Perhaps every student may face many exams which are crowed in the end of the semester.（好例子） Sometimes, these exams also belong to different subjects. It is quite impractical that we can prepare for these exams one after another since two exams may be arranged in the same day and under this circumstance we may have no time to prepare for the second exam in this day. Due to the high concentration of our daily matters, I may prefer to handle these things in a “parallel” method.赏心悦目啊，么有骨头好挑~

Besides, the inspiration from one project may contribute to solving the difficulties met in other projects. For example, when Mendel did the experiment supporting the principles of the genetics, instead of getting the conclusion directly from this experiment, he benefited a lot from other experiments done at the same time. Most of the time, the projects processed at the same time may have many potential relationship with others（句意不太对，the project may have many potential relationship with others processed at the same time）. Sometimes, the problems in these projects are solved in the same way as the game of Domino does.(赞~~) Therefore, the experience harvested（gained） in one project may also have a positive influence on another one.0 q" u) l0 K2 F0 V

Last but not the least, when stuck in one project, we can shift our attention to another. This method makes me more efficiently since when trapped in one project, if we insist on carrying on it, we can only end in nothing done but more exhausted.（这个句子要是断开使句意更加清晰就好了） However, if we can spend this period of time coping with other projects, not only can we make progress in other projects but also we can be more energetic to throw ourselves into the former project.

In a nutshell, both my personal preference and the current situation force me to consider handling many projects at the same time as an ideal choice.
粉色是好地方，红色是一些小错误
童鞋，强烈询问你的作文都是限时写的么？敬佩ing……我觉得论点很到位啊~

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.23. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.
Due to the rapid pace of our daily life, people are much busier than ever before. They should work overtime in order to meet the deadline and handle several projects at a time so as to increase efficiency. It seems that people can no longer concentrate on a single project for a long period. Therefore, someone argues that people can do few things well. However, this is not the case under many circumstances.

To start off, the advanced technology assist us in perfecting what we have done. For example, in the past, women sewed the cloth purely by their hands while nowadays cloth is manufactured by the sophisticated machines. Instead of being in poorer quality, the cloth nowadays seems to be more smooth and beautiful. The reason is that the advanced machine can accomplish what people cannot do or even complete a better job. Therefore, owing to these inventions, the products nowadays have higher quality than ever before.

Besides, the ability of doing things better is also partly attributed to the rich experience of human beings. We can take the medical development as a concrete example. It is obviously that the doctors nowadays can treat diseases in more various sorts and in a more efficient way. In other words, doctors can accomplish better jobs than ever before. This is partly due to the rich experience accumulated by each generation of doctors and this rich experience ultimately benefits people nowadays. Thus, the patients can virtually receive better treatment than ever before.

Last but not the least, people nowadays are more efficient than ever before. That is, they can cope with their time in a more scientific and efficient way and they may also extend their working time. For example, numerous employees in many big enterprises receive special training on how to make the most of every single minute since their boss expect them to accomplish the work in the same or better quality within the same time. Even though the employees may have more projects to do in the same time, due to their higher efficiency, they can still maintain the high quality of their work.

In a nutshell, only the evidence that people are busier now is not adequate to illustrate that people can do few thing well. In fact, the advanced technology, the rich experience and the high efficiency can still assist us in finishing a better job.

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

Since the situation of our daily life has become increasing(increasingly吧^_^) complicated, most of us cannot make decisions all by themselves（与前面对应，应该是ourselves）. We should absorb（absorb advice？可能我米有看见过哪里用过，是不是take advice更常用直接点呢？^_^）
the beneficial advices from others and gauge（我觉得这里用weigh更好，有权衡利弊的意思^_^） the advantages and the disadvantages. Ultimately, we can make our decisions. However, even though others can assist, it is us who make the final decision.. o% m$ g) M  P8 S. |7 ^

& I* T9 ~3 [; t$ N8 @' UTo start off（to start with?）, no one else has a deep comprehension of your situation except yourself. That is, even though others can provide some favorable instructions for you, their instructions are based on their own experience and values. Perhaps, you can give some clues to your friends to help them analyze these issues in your shoes. However, their analysis process is still mixed with part of others’ own ideas which fail to match with(我觉得是不是不用with，去掉) yours. After all, you are not others and therefore their advices or decisions cannot be completely copied. Finally（我觉得前面的承接词少了，感觉从Start with直接就到了finally）, due to others’ lacking（加一个knowledge，作者应该想表达“缺少对你状况的认知”的意思吧^_^） of your own situation, you should still make the decisions all by yourself.（这里的all by yourself 表意过于绝对，不论是事实上还是文章最后说的，我们有可能接受别人的建议，但是最终的决定使我们自己做的，而不是决定完全由我们自己做，有点逻辑的问题^_^）
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! x) [. E) i1 Q) ]! l. rBesides, it is also unlikely that we can total （改成totally）believe in others to make decisions for you（前后主语不搭配，要不把前面的we改成you，要不把这里的you改成us，这种错误我在“实战常见错误”里见过）. Perhaps, others may make some mistakes or neglect some important facets（facts） in your issues. Or perhaps, others may cheat you to make false decisions on purposes（固定短语on purpose，去掉s） for their own profit（改成sake，for one;s own sake,固定短语）. If you let others take your place to make decisions, many accidents may happen beyond your control. How can you feel relieved to allow others to take your responsibility?: A# m+ Z+ v4 _, C* L, a

, i% u$ k- k3 KLast but not the least, many urgent decisions which should be made immediately cannot wait for you to find someone reliable to help you do it. For example, when we take exams, it is quite ridiculous for you to wait for others to help you choose an option. When the doctor copes with a life-and-death matter in the emergency room, he or she cannot wait for others to make the decisions. Time after time, we should（是不是这句话改成time after time ,we are confronted with situations in which we should make decisions with little time left）
make decisions with no（改成Little） time left. It may be impractical for us to wait for others to make the decisions.
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In a nutshell, generally speaking(我总觉得文中有好几处感觉连接词赘述，in a nutshell 和generally speaking不管如何，留一个比较好) ，（加always）waiting for others to make decisions for you is not only an uncommon but also a rare situation. Even though many people may accept lots of advices from others, it is still themselves who make the final decision.

对于整个文章呢，我觉得内容还是很充实的，只是在表意上说的不能太绝对，否则在前后的段落里会有所冲突。还有就是，题目是问是否同意“很多人让别人替自己做决定而不是自己做决定”，但是文章更偏向讲人们应当怎样，要再用几个句子扣题，是不是会更好咧O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

mangohahaUID: 2758178

Since the situation of our daily life has become increasing complicated, most of us cannot make decisions all by themselves. We should absorb the beneficial advices from others and gauge the advantages and the disadvantages. Ultimately, we can make our decisions. However, even though others can assist, it is us who make the final decision 开头很好，没任何问题，观点明确.! [' E$ t1 z. {4 d- \* R
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To start off, no one else has a deep comprehension of your situation except yourself. That is, even though others can provide some favorable instructions for you, their instructions are based on their own experience and values. Perhaps, you can give some clues to your friends to help them analyze these issues in your shoes. However, their analysis process is still mixed with part of others’ own ideas which fail to match with yours. After all, you are not others and therefore their advices or decisions cannot be completely copied. Finally, due to others’ lacking of your own situation, you should still make the decisions all by yourself 没问题的一段，不过感觉没有个例子总感觉不放心。。。可有了例子这段又太长了。。。.4 L0 b7 j1 z& ^3 s2 N7 w
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Besides, it is also unlikely that we can total believe in others to make decisions for you观点明确，希望下面的内容不会和上一段有重合. Perhaps, others may make some mistakes or neglect some important facets in your issues. Or perhaps, others may cheat you to make false decisions on purposes for their own profit. If you let others take your place to make decisions, many accidents may happen beyond your control. How can you feel relieved to allow others to take your responsibility   感觉cheats不是很好，还不如换成，过多的他人的例子会是自己更加迷茫，不知道如何取舍。。。（个人愚见）?
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Last but not the least, many urgent decisions which should be made immediately cannot wait for you to find someone reliable to help you do it. For example, when we take exams, it is quite ridiculous for you to wait for others to help you choose an option. When the doctor copes with a life-and-death matter in the emergency room, he or she cannot wait for others to make the decisions. Time after time, we should make decisions with no time left. It may be impractical for us to wait for others to make the decisions.3 {  m9 R3 S% W+ R" J2 S

In a nutshell, generally speaking, waiting for others to make decisions for you is not only an uncommon but also a rare situation. Even though many people may accept lots of advices from others, it is still themselves who make the final decision.

思路清晰，语言流畅 整体说来，是一篇很好很好的文章，楼主的作文功底了得。 2 3段还是希望能有个例子，呵呵 还有例子要阳光^_^ 个人看法

最后，感谢您的修改O(∩_∩)O~

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.23. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.
Due to the rapid pace of our daily life, people are much busier than ever before. They should work overtime in order to meet the deadline and handle several projects at a time so as to increase efficiency. It seems that people can no longer concentrate on a single project for a long period. Therefore, someone argues that people can do few things well. However, this is not the case（有这样的用法？请教？） under many circumstances.

To start off, the advanced technology assist us in perfecting what we have done. For example, in the past, women sewed the cloth purely by their hands while nowadays cloth is manufactured by the sophisticated machines. Instead of being in poorer quality, the cloth nowadays seems to be more smooth and beautiful. The reason is that the advanced machine can help accomplish what people cannot do or even complete a better job.

Therefore, owing to these inventions, the products nowadays have higher quality than ever before. Besides, the ability of doing things better is also partly attributed to the richer experience of human beings. We can take the medical development as a concrete example. It is obviously that the doctors nowadays can treat diseases in more various sorts and in a more efficient way. In other words, doctors can accomplish better jobs than ever before. This is partly due to the rich experience accumulated by each generation of doctors and this rich experience ultimately benefits people nowadays( 因为rich experience 重复了，就顺手改了……Doctors have accumulated so rich experiences generation by generation as to ultimately benefit people nowadays.). Thus, the patients can virtually receive better treatment than ever before.


Last but not the least, people nowadays are more efficient than ever before. That is, they can cope with their time in a more scientific and efficient way and they may also extend their working time. For example, numerous employees in many big enterprises receive special training on how to make the most of every single minute since their boss expect them to accomplish the work in the same or better quality within the same time. Even though the employees may have more projects to do in the same time, due to their higher efficiency, they can still maintain the high quality of their work. * c$ J% C9 ?' [

In a nutshell, only the evidence that people are busier now is not adequate to illustrate that people can do few thing well. In fact, the advanced technology, the rich experience and the high efficiency can still assist us in finishing a better job.

1.
先进的科技使得我们能够做到更好
2.
积累的经验更加丰富
3.
人们解决问题的途径更加科学和有效
看到末端我又疑惑了，你前半段分明说现代人要做的事情更多了更忙了，但这并不能成为只做好很少事情的理由。为啥结论还是因为有科技、经验和高效率而能完成更好的工作。
论点列出的都还好，但是论述的重心是不是偏了？？你考虑的好像是，人们为什么不能把大量事情中除去能做好的之外的事情做得更好。但是题目是，因为事情多了，而只能做好很少的事情。我个人提出的论点是：有些人就算事情很多也能完成的很好；有些人要他做的事情再少，也还是做不好。还和童鞋探讨~

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

2.23. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well. 2 w7 C: R4 m1 V+ a, a* a Due to the rapid pace of our daily life, people are much busier than ever before. They should （have to 会不会更好呢？）work overtime in order to meet the deadline and handle several projects at a time so as to increase efficiency. It seems that people can no longer concentrate on a single project for a long period. Therefore, someone argues that people can do few things well. However, this is not the case under many circumstances. % D% V+ ~1 ?; a5 }/ g * g0 i1 Y, O2 l+ {7 @0 b" l To start off, the advanced technology assist us in perfecting what we have done. For example, in the past, women sewed the cloth purely by their hands while nowadays cloth is manufactured by the sophisticated machines. Instead of being in poorer quality, the cloth nowadays seems to be more smooth and beautiful. The reason is that the advanced machine can accomplish what people cannot do or even complete a better job.（感觉这两个要换下顺序，先是complete a better job 然后再是accomplish what people cannot do你觉得咧^_^） Therefore, owing to these inventions, the products nowadays have higher quality than ever before. （这句话比较不能收尾，因为不太点题^_^，或许换成或再加一句therefore, owing to these inventions, people nowadays actually do things better when they have a lot of things to do ） ) e  |8 q5 n* W- |# y5 x2 n# N+ T  N Besides, the ability of doing things better is also partly attributed to the rich experience of human beings. We can take the medical development as a concrete example. It is obviously （obvious）that the doctors nowadays can treat diseases in(of) more various sorts and in a more efficient way. In other words, doctors can accomplish better jobs than ever before. This is partly due to the rich experience accumulated by each generation of doctors and this rich experience ultimately benefits people nowadays. Thus, the patients can virtually receive better treatment than ever before.(为什么我感觉与主题关系不大呢^_^)6 Y$ k* G( w* z. I) u - s2 _) g  E. DLast but not the least, people nowadays are more efficient （人更有效率还是人做事更有效率呢？）than ever before. That is, they can cope with their time in a more scientific and efficient way and they may also extend their working time.（有效率跟延长工作时间？是不是反而矛盾了呢） For example, numerous employees in many big enterprises receive special training on how to make the most of every single minute since their boss expect them to accomplish the work in the same or better quality within the same time. Even though the employees may have more projects to do in the same time, due to their higher efficiency, they can still maintain the high quality of their work. (上一段就缺少像这样的点睛之笔^_^) * D( i# F5 F, O/ w # M: c9 B6 d% G# ^" _In a nutshell, only the evidence that people are busier now is not adequate to illustrate that people can do few thing well. In fact, the advanced technology, the rich experience and the high efficiency can still assist us in finishing a better job. 文章的逻辑。结构十分清楚，内容例子十分翔实，还是很好滴^_^

看完之后的整体感觉就是作者过于强调people now can do things better,而不是强调在有a lot of work to do 的情况下仍然do things well。我知道作者在几个例子中确实想表达题目的意思，但是只是在心里想，没有写出来^_^

比如做衣服的例子，你可以加一个，workers now have more clothes to sew each day, but with the help of the high technology, people actually do things much better)

还有，第二个例子与主题的关联性不强

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.24 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.
15:00:56
Some people may prefer to live in the same community all their life since this can prevent them from suffering the difficulties of accustoming to the new environment. However, this situation is sometime impractical and most people may still choose to move to different places during their lifetime. Therefore, I disagree that people should stick in the same place all life.

To start off, most people may choose their living place according to their working place. That is, people may be inclined to live in a place which is close to their company. Therefore, since many people may change their job to pursue greater profit, it is likely that they will move to different places to live. For example, when people attend their graduate courses, they may tend to live near their graduate schools which are usually located in the countryside. However, when they begin their career as an employee or so forth, they may move their home to the prosperous cities in which there are more job opportunities.

Besides, people may change their living place in order to enjoy better living conditions and this case is also quite popular nowadays. For example, when many people firstly start their own business, they may be unable to afford the exorbitant living price in some districts and therefore they may choose to live in some places with cheaper housing price such as countryside or suburb. However, when they gradually become well-off, they may move their homes to some places with better living conditions. In other words, the desire to live in a cozy place propels people to frequently change their living places.

Last but not the least, many parents may change their living places so as to give their children a better education. For example, some parents may prefer to live nearby some preliminary schools or high schools. In this way, parents can prevent their children from wasting a long time on taking the bus. It seems that the issue of the education has gradually grown to a big concern which affects the parents’ choices of the house location. Therefore, sometimes, parents may frequently change their living place in order to meet the demands of their children’s education.

In a nutshell, it is quite impossible that people may stay in the same place such as the countryside or city during their lifetime. In fact, they may frequently change their living places due to different requirements.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

#14
jbc88
多谢啦，非常感谢你对我文章内容的评价，我最怕的就是太生硬，看来我还要多多改进啊，谢啦！

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

#16
奇流沙
5555,虽然我限时，但是现在还总是会超时5~10分钟不等，所以很伤心。。。

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

哈哈，多谢两位指教lixinjiayou,mangohaha
例子要阳光，我当时写的时候也有点觉得我的文章好多都太阴暗了，说的对啊。
还有要多谢例子也很对啊，这真的是要注意。

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.25Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money, agree or disagree?
12:10:42
Some people may argue that the cruel exploitative mechanics care nothing but the money. Just like Gelang Tai, the businessmen do their utmost to make profits from others and preserve their wealth carefully in order not to be robbed by the others. However, this idea seems to be nothing other than the misunderstanding of the mechanics and businessmen are motivated by many desires beyond simply the money.

To start off, many businessmen dream to provide more advanced commodities to benefit the public. That is, these businessmen focus on inventing more perfect goods instead of merely caring about money. For example, even though the Windows operation system of Microsoft has already wined a big success, Bill Gates still launched their recently developed operation system called Vista. If Gates only cared about money, he could have many other ways to gain profit from his customers and it is totally unnecessary for him to waste so much energy and capital to invent a new operation system. Therefore, there must be some other desires besides money that propel him to make progress and I think one of these desires is that he dreams of creating something different to benefit the customers.

Furthermore, many businessmen are also earnest about the charity and they may donate part of their wealth to some places in need of money such as the orphanage or some poor areas. In fact, it seems that many big companies such as Microsoft will sponsor some poor people or places every year. Besides, some companies such as Apple will also open up job opportunities for the disabled in order to help them have a better life. From these instances, we can have a glimpse of the warm hearts of some businessmen to improve this society. In other words, they actively participate in the society and take the advancement of the society into their consideration.

However, even though many businessmen may care beyond merely the money, this is not equivalent to the statement that these businessmen do not care money at all. In other words, personally, I deem that businessmen should take money into part of their consideration. After all, the fundamental duties of businessmen are to gain profit. Otherwise, they may be called inventors or charity men instead of businessmen.

In a nutshell, it is quite extreme to assert that businessmen care only about the money and they virtually care many things beyond money.

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.24 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

Some people may prefer to live in the same community all their life since this can prevent them from suffering the difficulties of accustoming to the new environment. However, this situation is sometime impractical and most people may still choose to move to different places during their lifetime. Therefore, I disagree that people should stick in the same place all life.' S0

To start off, most people may choose their living place according to their working place. That is, people may be inclined to live in a place which is close to their company. Therefore, since many people may change their job to pursue greater profit, it is likely that they will move to different places to live. For example, when people attend their graduate courses, they may tend to live near their graduate schools which are usually located in the countryside. However, when they begin their career as an employee or so forth, they may move their home to the prosperous cities in which there are more job opportunities.

Besides, people may change their living place in order to enjoy better living conditions and this case is also quite popular nowadays. For example, when many people firstly start their own business, they may be unable to afford the exorbitant living price in some districts and therefore they may choose to live in some places with cheaper housing price such as countryside or suburb. However, when they gradually become well-off, they may move their homes to some places with better living conditions. In other words, the desire to live in a cozy place propels people to frequently change their living places（不如直接用move因为这样的话会有歧义——1.搬家2.改变居住的地方，就是把自己住的地方拆了建建了又拆……摸鼻子，我好暴力……）.

Last but not the least, many parents may change their living places so as to give their children a better education. For example, some parents may prefer to live nearby some preliminary schools or high schools. In this way, parents can prevent their children from wasting a long time on taking the bus. It seems that the issue of the education has gradually grown to a big concern which affects the parents’ choices of the house location. Therefore, sometimes, parents may frequently change their living place in order to meet the demands of their children’s education.

In a nutshell, it is quite impossible that people may stay in the same place such as the countryside or city during their lifetime. In fact, they may frequently change their living places due to different requirements.

呱唧呱唧！不错不错，童鞋你每次的写作都让我觉得赏心悦目~~赞，搬去优秀作文去~

奇流沙UID: 2698749

Some people may argue that the
cruel exploitative mechanics（我觉得用的不错，但是不知出处，请教，呃或许是想表达merchant？））
care nothing but the money. Just like Gelang Tai（你真是太喜感了，我读了一下，才发现是葛朗台，亲爱的，葛朗台是Grandet）, the businessmen do their utmost to make profits from others and preserve their wealth carefully in order not to be robbed by the others. However, this idea seems to be nothing other than the misunderstanding of the mechanics（或许是merchant？？） and businessmen are motivated by many desires beyond simply the money.7 m& {1 c- m- N: @" q
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To start off, many businessmen dream to provide more advanced commodities to benefit the public. That is, these businessmen focus on inventing more perfect goods instead of merely caring about money. For example, even though the Windows operation system of Microsoft has already wined a big success, Bill Gates still launched their recently developed operation system called Vista. If Gates only cared about money, he could have many other ways to gain profit from his customers and it is totally unnecessary for him to waste so much energy and capital to invent a new operation system. Therefore, there must be some other desires besides money that propel him to make progress and I think one of these desires is that he dreams of creating something different to benefit the customers.
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Furthermore, many businessmen are also earnest about the charity and they may donate part of their wealth to some places in need of money such as the orphanage or some poor areas. In fact, it seems（例子不错，但不明白为什么用这个句式） that many big companies such as Microsoft will sponsor some poor people or places every year. Besides, some companies such as Apple will also open up job opportunities for the disabled in order to help them have a better life. From these instances, we can have a glimpse of the warm hearts of some businessmen to improve this society. In other words, they actively participate in the society and take the advancement of the society into their consideration.1 L9 O, R& I$ Y# g! X/ q2 U: x  A

# J* ^, y& v: j5 E$ WHowever, even though many businessmen may care beyond merely the money, this is not equivalent to the statement that these businessmen do not care money at all. In other words, personally, I deem that businessmen should take money into part of their consideration. After all, the fundamental duties of businessmen are to gain profit. Otherwise, they may be called inventors or charity men instead of businessmen.
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3 ]& A1 k) r6 s; }4 X, ~* xIn a nutshell, it is quite extreme to assert that businessmen care only about the money and they virtually care many things beyond money.
不错，硬要说的话，第二段中举的例子事态和用的句式描述有点点问题。