Uranus1989's writing

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.26 Do you agree or disagree with the statement: Playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life.
When we play sports such as the baseball or the football, we can enjoy the pleasure of winning the game or showing our outstanding tricks. However, the pleasure is not the whole thing that we can harvest from playing sports. We can virtually gain much more valuable lessons far beyond simply the pleasure.

To start off, the most precious lesson gained in playing sports is about cooperation. When we play sports particularly the baseball or the football, we are often supposed to cowork with a team. That is, to win or to lose depends on the whole performance of a team instead of the individual. For example, in the football competition, the teams in which the players cooperate with each other more proficiently will often win the championship. However, if the members in this team fail to cooperate with each other, even though one or two of them may be the skilful football players, they are still likely to lose the game. Therefore, some sports may lead you to have a deeper comprehension of the cooperation.

Besides, playing sports may also make you understand that diligence makes perfect. When we begin to learn a new sport, perhaps no we can master it immediately if we are not talents. However, the desire to win propels us to continuously practice our skills and overcome many difficulties. For example, at very beginning, no one can proficiently exhibit their football skills. However, due to the dream of winning the world cup, each team spends lots of time and energy practicing their skills time after time. Ultimately, some teams attain their goals and if you have a further investigation of these winners, you will find out that they are very diligent.

Last but not the least, the sports also tell us that results are not everything and the process also count much. That is, even though we also desire to win, the winners can only be the few ones. It is entirely possible that all our efforts turn out to be in vain. Under this circumstance, we should keep in mind that losing a game is not necessarily equivalent to losing everything. We gain the happiness and satisfactory feelings in the process. We build a friendship with our teammates and ultimately we learn that the results are not everything.

In a nutshell, playing sports can give us many gifts far beyond the pleasures. Sports give us many valuable lessons which we can cherish for a life.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be well-informed people should get information from many different sources.
13:28:57
The swift development of the technology makes people more convenient to retrieve information. In the past, people can only gain the latest news from the newspaper whereas in the present people can have a glimpse at what is happening in the world from television, radio internet and so on. Therefore, this trend makes it necessary for the well-informed people to get information from different sources.

To start off, every source of the information has its unique characteristics which can hardly be replaced by the others. For example, the internet seems to have the quickest response to the big event happening in the world but the reports on the internet sometimes just involve the most attractive ones since what can remain on the internet depends on its click rate. However, the newspaper can give you an overall summary of the events but its response is much slower. Therefore, if you just stick to one source such as the internet, you may easily ignore something important but less attractive to the public. After a long time, what you acquire is just those attractive to the public while some big events with great significance will be ignored. In other words, you will no longer be the well-informed people.

Besides, different sources put emphasis on different facets of information. For example, the books mainly involve the knowledge about science or history and only few of them are written about the current events while the primary information in the television is about the current events. Therefore, suppose you just retrieve information from books. You will not be informed of the current events. Even though it is likely that you have a rich knowledge in science and history, in certain sense, you are out of date since you have no general idea of the current event.

Nevertheless, to gain information from various sources also has its negative effects. There exists some useless information in sources such as internet or television. Absorbing this useless information means to waste time. Therefore, when you enjoy the benefit of the various mass media, we should also keep an alert eye on its negative effects.

In a nutshell, to be a well-informed people should efficiently take in information from various sources such as the internet, books, and the television.

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be well-informed people should get information from many different sources.
$ d7 w- c, f5 }" Q13:28:57
8 V5 d7 y( ]4 r/ D! @The swift development of the technology makes people more convenient to retrieve information. In the past, people can only gain the latest news from the newspaper whereas in the present people can have a glimpse at what is happening in the world from television, radio internet and so on. Therefore, this trend makes it necessary for the well-informed people to get information from different sources.

To start off, every source of the information has its unique characteristics which can hardly be replaced by the others. For example, the internet seems to have the quickest response to the big event happening in the world but the reports on the internet sometimes just involve the most attractive ones since what can remain on the internet depends on its click rate. However, the newspaper can give you an overall summary of the events but its response is much slower. Therefore, if you just stick to one source such as the internet, you may easily ignore something important but less attractive to the public. After a long time, what you acquire is just those attractive to the public while some big events with great significance will be ignored. In other words, you will no longer be the well-informed people（去掉好些）.


Besides, different sources put emphasis on different facets of information. For example, the books mainly involve the knowledge about science or history and only few of them are written about the current events while the primary information in the television is about the current events. Therefore, suppose you just retrieve information from books. You will not be informed of the current events. Even though it is likely that you have a rich knowledge in science and history, in certain sense, you are out of date since you have no general idea of the current event.


Nevertheless, to gain information from various sources also has its negative effects. There exists some useless information in sources such as internet or television. Absorbing this useless information means to waste time. Therefore, when you enjoy the benefit of the various mass media, we should also keep an alert eye on its negative effects.


In a nutshell, to be a well-informed people should efficiently take in information from various sources such as the internet, books, and the television.

内牛满面，每次看完你的作文都会产生大大的失落感—为毛那些论点我想不到……童鞋，强烈要求探讨，你每次习作时，怎是么考虑题目的？

duck2010UID: 2757376

The swift development of the technology makes people more convenient to retrieve information. In the past, people can only gain the latest news from the newspaper whereas in the present people can have a glimpse at what is happening in the world from television, radio internet and so on. Therefore, this trend makes it necessary for the well-informed people to get information from different sources.



To start off, every source of the information has its unique characteristics which can hardly be replaced by the others. For example, the internet seems to have the quickest response to the big event happening in the world but the reports on the internet sometimes just involve the most attractive ones since what can remain on the internet depends on its click rate. However, the newspaper can give you an overall summary of the events but its response is much slower. Therefore, if you just stick to one source such as the internet, you may easily ignore something important but less attractive to the public. After a long time, what you acquire is just those attractive to the public while some big events with great significance will be ignored. In other words, you will no longer be the well-informed people.



Besides, different sources put emphasis on different facets of information. For example, the books mainly involve the knowledge about science or history and only few of them are written about the current events while the primary information in the television is about the current events. Therefore, suppose you just retrieve information from books. You will not be informed of the current events. Even though it is likely that you have a rich knowledge in science and history, in certain sense, you are out of date since you have no general idea of the current event.)

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Nevertheless, to gain information from various sources also has its negative effects. There exists some useless information in sources such as internet or television. Absorbing this useless information means to waste time. Therefore, when you enjoy the benefit of the various mass media, we should also keep an alert eye on its negative effects..
(如果要细细追究，无意义的信息存在于任何一种信息源中。因此，这并不是多个信息源的缺点。呵呵)

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In a nutshell, to be a well-informed people should efficiently take in information from various sources such as the internet, books, and the television.


膜拜下楼主丰富多变的词汇和句型，是在令人佩服！
我找不出任何语法错误和措辞错误，观点也很好。
我唯一找到的一处值得建议的地方是：我认为，在托福作文中，我们应该尽量避免使用第二人称。因为，第二人称的使用，可能会让阅卷老师认为你在演讲，不是在写书面作文。
以楼主的作文实力，完全可以朝30分去奋进的。
加油！

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.28Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform.
Sometimes, while teachers take great effort to instruct their students, these students may have a better performance than the students whose teachers pay less attention to them. Therefore, some parents and educationist suggest that teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform. However, personally, I deem that this measure is not appropriate.

To start off, generally speaking, a determinant factor in paying salary is how much effort teachers have put into their work. That is, salary is decided by the time and energy that this teacher spend in his or her work. For example, it is entirely likely that a teacher may take great pains to instruct his or her students. However, since the quality and the initiate conditions of the students are too poor, these students still fall behind other outstanding students whose teacher even pay less attention to the students. Under this circumstance, if we merely decide the salary of teacher by the students' performance, no teacher will choose to impart knowledge to the poor-performance students. This will ultimately in return ruin the equality of education.

Furthermore, the definition of the good performance is also ambigous. What is allegedly "good performance"? How can we gauge the "good performance"? Perhaps, someone may argue that good scores represent the good performance. However, someone may argue that keeping rules in class stand for good performance. There exist so many measurements of good performance. Which one can we choose to measure the good performances? Therefore, the difficulty of evaluating the good performance also make it impossible to use the performance to decide the salary of teachers.

However, even though the performance of the students can hardly constitute a determinant factor for the teachers' salary, it can still influence the evaluation of teachers' work. In certain sense, if the teachers care much about their students, their students will improve their performance. Besides, even though we can hardly make a sweeping definition of the good performance, if the students display excellent behavior in certain aspects such as studying or other talents, we can still make a vague conclusion that these students perform well. Perhaps, these pleased phenomenon have certain relationship with their teachers and thus help us to evaluate the teachers' work.

In a nutshell, it is not reasonable for us to use how well their students perform as a determinant factor in deciding the teachers' salary. Nevertheless, the performance of students can still influence the evaluation of the teachers' work.

duck2010UID: 2757376

Sometimes, while teachers take great effort to instruct their students, these（这个these特指的哪些学生呢？一眼看过来，可能让改卷老师略带疑惑。） students may have a better performance than the students whose teachers pay less attention to them. Therefore, some parents and educationist suggest that teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform. However, personally, I deem that this measure is not appropriate（inappropriate？）.  

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To start off, generally speaking, a determinant factor in paying salary is how much effort teachers have put into their work. That is, salary is decided by the time and energy that this teacher spend in his or her work. For example, it is entirely likely that a teacher may（may表示可以，might表示可能。个人觉得这里用might更合适） take great pains to instruct his or her students. However, since the quality and the initiate conditions of the（这个the特指谁呢） students are too poor（是否有更合适的词呢。这个词在英文中带有瞧不起的意味。）, these students still fall behind other outstanding students whose teacher even pay less attention to the students. Under this circumstance, if we merely decide the salary of teacher by the students' performance, no teacher will choose to impart knowledge to the poor-performance students. This will ultimately in return ruin the equality of education.9 j

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Furthermore, the definition of the good performance is also ambigous. What is allegedly "good performance"? How can we gauge the "good performance"? Perhaps, someone may argue that good scores represent the（the特指某一种特定的good performance。此处建议删除） good performance. However, someone may argue that keeping rules in class stand for good performance. There exist so many measurements of good performance. Which one can（can表示可能，此处略有不妥。建议用should） we choose to measure the good performances? Therefore, the difficulty of evaluating the good performance also make it impossible to use the performance to decide the salary of teachers.; S9 O- f" p0 h/ n5 L+ o

However, even though the performance of the students can hardly constitute a determinant factor for the teachers' salary, it can still influence the evaluation of teachers' work. In certain sense, if the teachers care much about their students, their students will（虚拟语气，用would） improve their performance. Besides, even though we can hardly make a sweeping definition（确定sweeping可以这样用？） of the good performance, if the students display excellent behavior in certain aspects such as studying or other talents, we can still make a vague conclusion that these students perform well. Perhaps, these pleased phenomenon have certain relationship with their teachers and thus help us to evaluate the teachers' work., @5 s  w! s* k

In a nutshell, it is not reasonable for us to use how well their students perform as a determinant factor in deciding the teachers' salary. Nevertheless, the performance of students can still influence the evaluation of the teachers' work.


论点很好，逻辑非常明确，非常有GRE的味道。
楼主的语言功夫非常棒，句式和词汇都很厉害。看楼主的文章，就是一个学习积累的过程。
个人认为，楼主还可以更加完善的一个方面是，定冠词the 和these之类的词语的用法，表达准确。
加油！

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.1Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Good looks and dresses aremore important for success than good ideas.
Sometimes,in the entertainment industry, the superstars with appealing look and dresseswill attract the public's attention and thus they will gain their fame overnight even though they never have any valuable ideas in their mind. Besides,the applicants with good appearance will often leave the interviewers a goodimpression and thus they may have more chances to gain the job than somepoor-looking but with excellent ideas interviewees. However, these are only theoccasional events while most frequently good ideas are more vital to successthan good look and dresses.

Tostart off, good ideas will bring some practical benefits to our world whereasthe good looking will only give us a contemporary pleasure. In other words, itis excellent ideas instead of good looking that we depend on to create a betterworld for human beings to live in and enjoy. For example, since Einsteinappeared to be quite shabby, it seemed that he never had a chance to wait forthe success. However, this is not the case. The theories discovered by him madea sweeping change in the field of physics and Einstein enjoyed a reputationeven till this day. Therefore, even though the good-looking people may leaveothers a better first impression, it is whether the people can benefit theworld that ultimately decides the evaluation of this person.

Furthermore,even though the good looking can cater for someone, it is unlikely that theycan satisfy everyone's demands. In other words, different people's criteriaupon the beauty of an object or a person may vary. Even though you can meet thedemands of this time, others will still regard you as extremely ugly. However,some good ideas can virtually satisfy everyone's demand. For example, the ideaof manufacture greatly reduces the cost of the goods and in certain sense thecustomers can spend less buying the commodities. This is literally a beneficialidea for all the customers. Nevertheless, if the commodities only have abeautiful wrapping, many customers will still get tired of it since theydislike such kind of wrapping.

However,even though the good appearance does not count much, sometimes it can stillcontribute to your success. For example, some great inventions fail to make animmediate success due to their poor looking and they may experience greatdifficulty to success. If these inventions had a better looking, their way tosuccess might be much easier.

In anutshell, the good idea is the vital factor towards success whereas the goodlook can only sometimes provide a catalyst for these ideas' success.

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.1Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas.

Sometimes, in the entertainment industry, the superstars with appealing look and dresses will attract the public's attention and thus they will gain their fame overnight even though they never have any valuable ideas in their mind. Besides, the applicants with good appearance will often leave the interviewers a good impression and thus they may have more chances to gain the job than some poor-looking but with excellent ideas interviewees. However, these are only the occasional events while most frequently good ideas are more vital to success than good look and dresses.（很不错的开头，赞~\(≧▽≦)/~，只是觉得代词和冠词有点多，一些个人觉得可要可不要的代词和冠词我就标注在上面了，额~~~只是个人建议，楼主自行决断吧~~~）
To start off, good ideas will bring some practical benefits to our world whereas the good looking （look）will only give us a contemporary pleasure. In other words, it is excellent ideas instead of good looking that we depend on to create a better world for human beings to live in and enjoy. For example, since Einstein appeared to be quite shabby, it seemed that he never had a chance to wait for the success（个人建议这里可以加个according to the statement above更明确点）. However, this is not the case. The theories discovered by him made a sweeping change in the field of physics and Einstein enjoyed a reputation even till this day. Therefore, even though the good-looking people may leave others a better first impression, it is whether the people can benefit the world that ultimately decides the evaluation of this person.（楼主是否觉得这里要是在加一点benefit the world和the evaluation of this person与题目中所说的success之间的联系会更扣题点？）

Furthermore, even though the good looking can cater for someone, it is unlikely that they can satisfy everyone's demands. In other words, different people's criteria upon the beauty of an object or a person may vary. Even though you can meet the demands of this time, others will still regard you as extremely ugly.（这里在加个next time是不是感觉对比更强烈点呢？） However, some good ideas can virtually satisfy everyone's demand. For example, the idea of manufacture greatly reduces the cost of the goods and in certain sense the customers can spend less buying the（感觉这里的the也是可有可无的） commodities. This is literally a beneficial idea for all the customers. Nevertheless, if the commodities only have a beautiful wrapping (appealing to some certain groups of customers), many customers (other customers) will still get tired of it since they dislike such kind of wrapping. （楼主感觉此句若改为红色部分效果怎么样？同样的，仅仅是个人建议~~~）

However, even though the good appearance does not count much, sometimes it can still contribute to your success. For example, some great inventions fail to make an immediate success due to their poor looking and they may experience great difficulty to success. If these inventions had a better looking, their way to success might be much easier.(文章最后再加上这一段可谓是神来之笔呀~~~~\(≧▽≦)/~)


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In a nutshell（呵呵，不知道这个表达是不是也学的jbc88童鞋的~~~）, the good idea is the vital factor towards success whereas the good look can only sometimes provide a catalyst for these ideas' success.（呃~~~私以为这个结尾有点夸张了，全文旨在比较good ideas和good look哪个更重要点，至于前者是不是达到了vital的程度还有待考证，而后者的catalyst的作用在文中体现的也不是很明显，所以私还是以为楼主只需要把题目在叙述下或者同义变化下做结尾就足够。同样，只是“私以为”）

（楼主的文章很不错，文章语言连贯，一顺溜读下来几乎不带卡的；用词也很注意，是一片佳作了。一些个人建议我在文中已经标注了，不再赘述。继续加油哈~~！）

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.2 Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern society has becomemore complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability toplan and organize.

Theswift development of our society fastens our pace as well. It seems that wehave huge amount of things to finish with little time left. To be capable ofplanning and organizing becomes essential for the young people. Therefore, Iagree with the statement that the ability to plan and organize is a necessity.

Tostart off, appropriate plan and organization can assist us in saving our timeand thus becoming more efficiently. For example, the traffic jam will alwayskeep us waiting in the bus and many people may just wait for the slow moving ofthe bus with nothing to do. However, if we can make the most of this time torecite some English words, read a book and so on, after an entire year, it islikely that we will improve our literature standard or become more proficientwith many English words. In other words, we save the time of waiting and"recycle" it to master some useful skills. After a long period ofpersistence, this scattering time will ultimately make up for a big attainment.

Besides,scientific plan will give us an aid to fulfill our ambition. That is,sometimes, our dreams seem to be so impractical and difficult to realize.However, they can virtually come true if we can make a detailed plan. Forexample, Clinton dreamed of becoming thepresident of Americawhen he was still a little boy. Nevertheless, instead of just daydreaming, hemade a detailed plan for achieving this goal. This plan included whichuniversity he should join in order to receive a better education, which majorhe should attend in order to take part in the politics and so on. He earnestlyfollowed his plan and therefore he demonstrated a big success for the public.Since our society has already developed into such a complex one, even thesimplest affairs will still require us to take a few steps to finish. Then,when it comes to the more complicated matters, without a detailed plan, how canthe young people successfully complete them?

Lastbut not least, the rare sources also make it an indispensable ability to planand organize. For example, perhaps, the most limited source for the youngpeople is money since they just begin to earn their salary. If they are notgood at organizing such as dealing with their budget, they may easily be pushedinto a dilemma.

In anutshell, for the young people, the ability to plan and organize is anessential ability for the survival in the society.

ivybettyUID: 2328308

The swift development of our society fastens our pace as well. It seems that we have huge amount of things to finish with little time left. To be capable of planning and organizing becomes essential for the young people. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the ability to plan and organize is a necessity.很明确

To start off, appropriate plan and organization can assist us in saving our time and thus becoming more efficiently(efficient?become后是形容词吧?). For example, the traffic jam will always keep us waiting in the bus and many people may just wait for the slow moving of the bus with nothing to do. However, if we can make the most of this time to recite some English words, read a book and so on, after an entire year, it is likely that we will improve our literature standard(有点中文色彩) or become more proficient with(固定搭配应该是be/become proficient in) many English words. In other words, we save the time of waiting and"recycle" it to master some useful skills. After a long period of persistence, this scattering time will ultimately make(被动语态be made?) up for a big attainment.

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Besides,scientific plan will give us an aid to fulfill our ambition. That is,sometimes, our dreams seem to be so impractical and difficult to realize.However, they can virtually come true if we can make a detailed plan. Forexample, Clinton dreamed of becoming thepresident of Americawhen he was still a little boy. Nevertheless, instead of just daydreaming, hemade a detailed plan for achieving this goal. This plan included whichuniversity he should join in order to receive a better education, which majorhe should attend in order to take part in the politics and so on. He earnestlyfollowed his plan and therefore he demonstrated a big success for the public.Since our society has already developed into such a complex one, even thesimplest affairs will still require us to take a few steps to finish. Then,when it comes to the more complicated matters, without a detailed plan, how canthe young people successfully complete them?! x* T) n4 V7 J; |2 T

Lastbut not least, the rare sources also make it an indispensable ability to planand organize. For example, perhaps, the most limited source for the youngpeople is money since they just begin to earn their salary. If they are notgood at organizing such as dealing with their budget, they may easily be pushedinto a dilemma.8 c! Z  V3 i( C# I, v
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In anutshell, for the young people, the ability to plan and organize is anessential ability for the survival in the society.
LZ一如既往妙语连珠,很多小词都用的很好,学习了.
文章的排版是受到病毒侵袭还是?很多地方词与词之间没有空格,标点后也没有空格.请注意了!
这篇文章我也很纠结,觉得没办法把社会变复杂和年轻人要有好计划联合起来.LZ的一和二段有这方面的说明.但是三和四好象没有了,只是在说计划的重要性.不知我理解的对否?请指教

swbaiUID: 2600532

The swift development of our society fastens our pace as well. It seems that we have huge amount of things to finish with little time left. To be capable of planning and organizing becomes essential for the young people. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the ability to plan and organize is a necessity.

start off, appropriate plan and organization can assist us in saving our time and thus becoming more efficiently. For example, the traffic jam will always keep us waiting in the bus and many people may just wait for the slow moving of the bus with nothing to do. However, if we can make the most of this time to recite some English words, read a book and so on, after an entire year, it is likely that we will improve our literature standard or become more proficient with many English words. In other words, we save the time of waiting and"recycle" it to master some useful skills. After a long period of persistence, this scattering time will ultimately makeup for a big attainment.

Besides,scientific plan will give us an aid to fulfill our ambition. That is,sometimes, our dreams seem to be so impractical and difficult to realize.However, they can virtually come true if we can make a detailed plan. Forexample, Clinton dreamed of becoming thepresident of Americawhen he was still a little boy. Nevertheless, instead of just daydreaming, hemade a detailed plan for achieving this goal. This plan included whichuniversity he should join in order to receive a better education, which majorhe should attend in order to take part in the politics and so on. He earnestlyfollowed his plan and therefore he demonstrated a big success for the public.Since our society has already developed into such a complex one, even thesimplest affairs will still require us to take a few steps to finish. Then,when it comes to the more complicated matters, without a detailed plan, how canthe young people successfully complete them?!

Lastbut not least, the rare sources also make it an indispensable ability to planand organize. For example, perhaps, the most limited source for the youngpeople is money since they just begin to earn their salary. If they are notgood at organizing such as dealing with their budget, they may easily be pushedinto a dilemma.

In anutshell, for the young people, the ability to plan and organize is anessential ability for the survival in the society.
LZ套用的模板很多，这可能是个硬伤.另外，单词之间没空行，让人很难阅读

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.3．Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people think childrenshould study and play, other people think children should help with householdchores.
23:10:56
Theeducation and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sensethey determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However,the household chores are of same significance because they will assist thechildren in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagreethat children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing orhousehold chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between thesetwo matters.

Tostart off, the early education will pave the way for the children’ futurecareer. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence thechildren greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncletaught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning processstimulated Newtonto have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following hisinterest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle onlyasked him to take some household chores, Newtonwould never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vitalfor the children’s growth.

Furthermore,even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playingdoes have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example,playing will influence the children’ characteristics in a great measure.According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or noleisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those withmore leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenonis that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have feweropportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have noidea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult tofit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude thatplaying is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaninglessmatter.

Lastbut not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibilityof the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children canunderstand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead,they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make thisfamily better.

In anutshell, education, playing and doing household chores are severalindispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make thechildhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on thechildren.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

#41
swbai
晕。。。我也刚发现我这个毛病，昨天竟然晕菜了有的没空行

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

The education and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sense (that) they determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However, the household chores are of same significance because they will assist the(这个the可以去掉) children in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagree（应该使用disagree with的搭配） that children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing or household chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between these two matters.- {0 @  [+ Z5 S
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To start off, the early education will pave the way for the children’s（这里的s还是要加上吧？） future career. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence the children greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncle taught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning process stimulated Newton to have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following his interest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle only asked him to take some household chores, Newton would never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vital for the children’s growth.; n0 x" Z* x1 g+ F

Furthermore, even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playing does have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example, playing will influence the children’ characteristics（查了下金山词霸，characteristics指的是特征，特性，而表示性格什么的是不是用character比较好？我个人的一点意见，如果不对的话欢迎指出） in a great measure. According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or no leisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those with more leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenon is that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have fewer opportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have no idea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult to fit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude that playing is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaningless matter.5 w+ p' ]; g: ?- K
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Last but not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibility of the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children can understand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead, they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make this family better. 2 I; x2 W0 n) D% o
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In anutshell（这个词是？原谅我看不出来……）, education, playing and doing household chores are several indispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make the childhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on the children.
楼主的文章写得不错，语言很流利，还考虑了句式的变换。文章各个论据的提出和段落的展开都做得很好，没有什么大的错误可以挑。不知道楼主写作文的时候是不是限时模考时间比较紧所以顾不上注意空格什么的，但是还是建议楼主在写完文章之后检查一下，毕竟从那么多连在一起的字母中分辨一个个单词还是有点累的。呵呵O(∩_∩)O~

swbaiUID: 2600532

3.3．Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people think childrenshould study and play, other people think children should help with householdchores.

The education and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sensethey determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However,the household chores are of same significance because they will assist thechildren in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagreethat children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing orhousehold chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between thesetwo matters.

To start off, the early education will pave the way for the children’ futurecareer. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence thechildren greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncletaught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning processstimulated Newtonto have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following hisinterest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle onlyasked him to take some household chores, Newtonwould never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vitalfor the children’s growth.

Furthermore,even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playingdoes have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example,playing will influence the children’ characteristics in a great measure.According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or noleisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those withmore leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenonis that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have feweropportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have noidea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult tofit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude thatplaying is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaninglessmatter.

Last but not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibilityof the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children canunderstand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead,they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make thisfamily better.

In anutshell, education, playing and doing household chores are severalindispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make thechildhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on thechildren.


LZ的文章写得很好，就是里面套用了很多模板，我觉得反而把你要表达的意思给掩盖了