issue51 请斧正

qisaimanUID: 2703629

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
时间80mins 字数 440
As for the students, education is truly effective when it is aimed at helping them discovering their needs and interests and under the constraints of law, finding the approaches to realize it by independent thinking and self-learning. Generally speaking, formal education consists of three elements: building the value system, imparting the basic skills and knowledge and guiding in the development of critical thinking.

First of all, basic education is of great significance, including comprehensive knowledge and necessary skills. Since one cannot make sure his/her needs and interests clearly and consciously without basic knowledge, and more importantly, certain basic knowledge serves as the fundaments of higher education, pursuit of career goal and self-supporting in the society.
Nowadays, the knowledge is increasing exponentially, and the challenge confronting each individual in society is ever growing. Therefore, education should provide the students with essential knowledge.
Even more importantly, education should implant the essential value system to the educated, without which, one cannot realize and respect the universal value of mankind, cannot get along with others peacefully and constructively, and therefore cannot develop an integral personality and support himself in the society. Though we are born equal, we are inherently different; though we share the same fear and impulse, we express them differently. If one seeks to meet the individual needs and interests at the expense of imperiling others, it is a failure of education and society. Thus, the appropriate value system serves as a safeguard for all of us to enjoy the life.
With the basic knowledge and proper value, one needs to understand what is his/her real needs and interests and how to make it true. Education cannot and should never try to tell one the individual needs and the approaches. Instead, education should encourage the students to carry out independent thinking and self-learning. Of all the knowledge, the self-knowledge is the most elusive one. As a part of self-knowledge, exploring the individual needs and interests receive little help from the education. Fortunately, education can help to equip the students with independent thinking and self-learning, both of which are necessary and beneficial to seek the approach to meet the individual needs and interests. Without independent thinking, one will lose his/her direction in the society with more and more bewilderments. Without self-learning, one cannot adopt oneself to the demand of the society with more and more challenge. Consequently, education should make the independent thinking and self-learning as its priority.

To the society, effective education calls for the maximization of interests with a limited resource. To the individual, effective education means one can discover the individual needs and interests and manage to realize it constructively rather than destructively.

NEU公孙轩辕UID: 2697609

As for the students, education is truly effective when it is aimed at helping them discovering/discover their needs and interests and under the constraints of law/on the premise of within the limits of laws, finding/find the approaches to realize(raise 兴趣是培养的，不是实现） it/them by independent thinking and self-learning. Generally speaking, formal education consists of three elements: building the value system, imparting the basic skills and knowledge and guiding in the development of critical thinking.

First of all, basic education is of great significance, including comprehensive knowledge and necessary skills. Since one cannot make sure his/her（his or her那样表达的意思是既是男的又是女的，我也是昨天才从一个资料上看到的) needs and interests clearly and consciously（感觉多余） without basic knowledge.andmore/More importantly（In addition 这里我觉得应该是并列关系，表达的是基础知识的两个作用，没有明显的递进）, certain basic knowledge serves as the fundaments of a higher education, pursuit of career goal and self-supporting in the society.
Nowadays, the knowledge is increasing exponentially, and the challenges confronting each individual in society is/are ever growing,(which calls for vast amount of general and basic knowledge in oder to deal with them挑战多，意味着要掌握大量知识，应该说出来，否则下面直接说学校....连接太硬）. Therefore, education should provide the students with essential knowledge. （知识爆炸增长不是学校教给学生知识的直接原因吧，觉得the knowledge....不合适）
Even more importantly(这里可以用递进关系，even就省了吧）, education should implant the essential value system to the educated, without which one cannot realize and respect the universal value of mankind, cannot get along with others peacefully and constructively/harmoniously, and therefore cannot develop an integral/sound personality and support himself in the society（这里的逻辑有点儿问题，因该是没有好的道德准则首先导致人格不健全，然后才有和别人相处有问题，后果可能是无法在社会上生存，作者的顺寻有点儿乱，建议吕一下）. Though we are born equal, we are inherently different; though we share the same fear and impulse, we express them differently（这一句是什么用？）. （这个地方少过渡词，作者看看怎么填）If one seeks to meet the individual needs and interests at the expense/sacrifice(这个词感觉更合适） of imperiling(删，这个短语本身已经包含牺牲或损害的意思） others‘ benefits, it is a failure of education and society. Thus, the appropriate value system serves as a safeguard for all of us to enjoy the life.
With the basic knowledge and proper value, one needs to understand what is his/her real needs and interests and how to make it true（fully develop them on their own). Hence,( 少连接词）education cannot and should never try to tell one the individual needs and the approaches. Instead, education should encourage the students to carry out（focus on cultivating students the ability of ) independent thinking and self-learning. Of all the knowledge, the self-knowledge is the most elusive one. As a part of self-knowledge, exploring the individual needs and interests receive little help from the education. Fortunately, education can help to equip the/help students with independent thinking and self-learning, both of which are necessary and beneficial to seek the approach to meet the individual needs and interests. Without independent thinking, one will lose his/her direction in the society with/because of more and more/increasing bewilderments. Without self-learning, one cannot adopt/accustom oneself to meet the demands of the society with more and more/drastically growing challenges. Consequently, education should make the independent thinking and self-learning as its priority.(感觉prority不合适，你前面都承认道德培养是更为重要的，这里又来一个优先，还没指出相对于谁优先，纠结.....)

To the society, effective education calls for the maximization of interests with a limited resource. To the individual, effective education means one can discover the individual needs and interests and manage to realize it constructively rather than destructively.

先改到这里，明天有空再改


紫色为第二次改
我的逻辑很烂，对文章整体的结构不敢妄加评论，楼主可以注意一下语句之间的连接和过渡(其实我也很难做到），使句子之间不要跳跃太大哈
第冠词the， 楼主用的太多，有些地方不必要的
不当之处还请谅解

qisaimanUID: 2703629

2# NEU公孙轩辕

改的好仔细，我自己估计都不会这么对待。大赞！