Phoenix小组组员11号2010.2.17 issue

xusichuangUID: 2653998

103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."



What the author presented us is a complicated controversial question. It is true that we study history for today’s better life. History is a perfect criterion, a knowledge and information resource from which we can get wisdom. However, the study of history has other meanings.
Normally, we treasure history not only to know what happens to our ancestor, but also to find something conductive to their offspring. This is, perhaps, where the history’s value lies in. Conversely, were we not to know something about history, we , human beings , will act blindly. As Bacon, the renowned thinker once said: History makes people wise. Unfortunately, it seems that we have not learned it well. We have witnessed some catastrophic incident that happened long time ago but we keep repeating it. Despotism and usurpation makes countless ancient country die, but even in the world what we call modern civilization, it still exist in many countries such as North Korea. Historically, a country with excessive central government power, it will develop in the way which may define an aggressor. The World War I and World War II are both examples. It seems that those bloody histories have not taught our nowadays leaders. Saddam Hussein, for instance, the notorious Iraq president, levy two wars in his tenure including the invasion of Kuwait. Those evil acts got punished with his execution.
However, we should not deny the value of studying history even if it has nothing to do with our life. There are professors who study history only to know what happened in the past. The study of pure history is not useless, because it can at least satisify the curiosity of some people for they find their fulfillment in the deep ocean of history. What’s more, besides this value, the study of history can also enables us to predict the future. A direct example is that almost all the weather reports are based on the past atmosphere conditions. Scientist use data few days before to calculate and then predict the future weather condition. Economist do the same, what we call “Econometric” is a scientific field where economist applied the old date into their model to predict where the future economy goes. This is huge, because economy condition is really important to everyone. The unemployment, the inflation rate, and the interest are almost every household’s biggest concern.
To sum up, some may believe that the study of history will lose value if it has nothing to do with day-to-day lives. They care too much about their current welfare. However, history is a treasure that has many folds. It can arise and help to satisfy people’s curiosity and more importantly, enables us to predict the future.

ningbo1990UID: 2641538

103"The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

What the author presented us is a complicated controversial（别激动，一个问题不要用这么多情感词语形容它的程度，我个人觉得你要是不把文章分析出个complicated，估计你的分数就complicated了。所以还是谨慎点好。） question. It is true that we study history for today’s better life. History is a perfect criterion, a knowledge and information resource from which we can get wisdom. However, the study of history has other meanings.
(写完一段空一行。)
Normally, we treasure history not only to know what happens to our ancestor, but also to find something conductive to their offspring. This is, perhaps, where the history’s value lies in. Conversely, if
were we not to know something about history, we, as human beings, will act blindly.
As Bacon, the renowned thinker once said: History makes people wise. Unfortunately, it seems that we have not learned it well. We have witnessed some catastrophic incident that happened long time ago but today we keep repeating it
them. Despotism and usurpation makes countless ancient country
countries die, but
and even in the world what we call modern civilization, it they still exist in many countries such as North Korea. Historically, a country with excessive central government power, it will develop in the way which may (前面有will语气强烈，这里来个may语气舒缓了，最好把may去了) define an aggressor(这里还是用复数把，你怎么知道会诞生一个还是多个呢？). The World War I and World War II are both examples. It seems that those bloody histories have not taught our nowadays leaders. (这一句似乎属于累赘句，为了保证文章精炼建议还是删去把。) Saddam Hussein, for instance, the notorious Iraq president, levy two wars in his tenure including the invasion of Kuwait. Those evil acts got punished with his execution.（崇拜下，我就不会用这些例子！）


However, we should not deny the value of studying history even if it has nothing to do with our life. There are professors who study history only to know what happened in the past. The study of pure history is not useless, because it can at least satisify the curiosity of some people for they find their fulfillment in the deep ocean of history. What’s more, besides this value, the study of history can also enables us to predict the future. A direct example is that almost all the weather reports are based on the past atmosphere conditions. Scientist use data few days before to calculate and then predict the future weather condition. Economist do the same, what we call “Econometric”(崇拜下，作为学经济的同行我竟然不会用计量经济学的例子！！) is a scientific field where economist applied the old date into their model to predict where the future economy goes. This is huge, because economy condition is really important to everyone. The unemployment, the inflation rate, and the interest are almost every household’s biggest concern.

To sum up, some may believe that the study of history will lose value if it has nothing to do with day-to-day lives. They care too much about their current welfare. However, history is a treasure that has many folds. It can arise and help to satisfy people’s curiosity and more importantly, enables us to predict the future.

分析：
我对了你的文章发呆了N久，一直觉得怪怪的，但是那些句子让我不得不学习啊，经过N个time passed的分析，我认为可能有如下错误：
1.作文题目是“只有研究和我们日常生活相关的历史才有价值。”作者重心应该放在论述同意还是不同意和日常生活相关上面，论述历史怎样才能有价值上面，也就是扩展到实用主义pragmatism.但是我看到你一直在说历史的价值，是不是有点跑题？
文中黄色区域中明显表面的你的跑题。
2.作者第二段是在说懂不懂历史，人们没有学好历史这样巨大灾难一直降临降临的，那请问灾难降不降临和研究什么样的历史才有价值有什么关系？
3.第三段开头好不容易切了题，作者兴致极高之下写出What’s more, besides this value, the study of history can also enables us to predict the future，直接把切题的句子踢掉了，诚然后面例子尤其：天气预报，计量经济学是和日常生活有关，但是你的TS(topic sentence)是说predict the future，诚然你也会说预测未来和日常生活也有关，那为什么不直接说出和日常生活有关就可以了。
4.得二段中那个Despotism and usurpation不能很好说明人们没有学好历史。你说专断和篡权就不好，明显中国现在专断发展的很好，虽然表面上看起来是这样。加上你把专断和大灾难等同起来了，也就是说专断导致了好大好大的突如其来的大灾难。没有那么夸张把？用词要谨慎，例子要恰当。如果你想说的通，至少要有一句过度句：从古至今专断和篡权反复的出现导致灾难的发生。
5.我一直觉得GRE作文中每一个字都要有根据，因此不可以随便就用，也许这就是逻辑的严谨，如果你后面的例子不能够很有证据证明你用的那个词的把，就把那个词改恰当点把。比如你开头说这个是个错综复杂的命题，请问你分析了命题的错综复杂性吗？没有就还是别写了把。
6.一般GRE作文要5段，4段是不够的，普通的GRE作文一般逻辑是正-反-补但是这些都没有订数，正文2段很难把问题一般说清楚。
7.羡慕你驾驭语言的能力，有空可不可以教教我？我的文章语言太土鳖了。。。。。
8.欢迎讨论，如果觉得不对，猛批我把。！！
Revised by team No.3