issue2:拍我的人RP++，逢拍必回

rachelwang712UID: 2757860

I2Competition is ultimately more beneficial than detrimental to society.
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The theory of AdamSmith has prevailed for a long period time. So does his acclaimed competition.It has been advocated that competition does more good than harm to the society.As far as I am concerned, however, not all competition play a positive role inthe society. To be more precise, there are two kinds of competitions:destructive and cooperative. The latter lays solid foundation on which societyimproves itself while the former one inhibits the social development greatly

Destructivecompetition often generates isolation or even confrontation in that it causes peopleto treat each other as rivals as one’s success is dependent on others’ failure.What rivals usually do to grab victory is criticizing, damaging, even smearingthe opponents. Endless stories tell how students suffer loneliness when theyare forced or willing to compete with each other in all parts of their schoollife. Jealousy for better looking, more remarkable academic achievements oreven better-off family backgrounds lead to break-up and quarrels in friends. Whenit comes to sports, scandals where athletes take illegal drugs to win nevercome to an end.Without proper appreciation for others’ achievements, humanbeings may end up fighting each other to death.

Cooperative competition,on the other hand, not only values personal efforts, encouraging people to trytheir utmost, but also base itself on the pursuit of mutual interest. Byinvolving in such competition, one is expected to behave in a cooperativemanner through peaceful exchange and without violating other people. According tothe supporters for competition, if birds compete for a limited water supplyduring a drought, the more suited birds will survive to reproduce and improvethe population. Another example often cited here is Adam Smith’s “invisiblehands”. Further argument may attribute quite a few social improvements tocompetition, competition for moderner technology, competition for bettermedicine, etc. Consequently, Competition is regarded as the bliss for thesociety.

But even competitionwith no malice intention brings about unnecessary costs. In political world,competition means high expenses, thus unnecessary waste of money that willotherwise be spent more wisely. Every presidential campaign in the U.S.witnesses a soaring cost. Seeing all these, we can’t help wondering is itreally worthy to waste countless time and money on competition?

In conclusion, competition,the double-edge sword, affects the society as a whole. Along with theremarkable merits it produces, competition holds accountability for some irritatingoutcomes as well, which can never be overshadowed by its effectiveness to boostsociety.

换色UID: 2658709

这篇文我先收回去了，因为没有写过这个题目，所以要慢慢看一下想想～
嘛，我水平不高，别期望太高，orz....
谢谢你的修改，我也再想想，有什么问题再讨论～

换色UID: 2658709

The theory of Adam Smith has prevailed for a long period time. So does his acclaimed competition（著名竞争？）. It has been advocated that competition does more good than harm to the society. As far as I am concerned, however, not all competition plays a positive role in the society. To be more precise, there are two kinds of competitions: destructive and cooperative（destructive competition是什么，有合作意向的竞争又是什么？）. The latter lays solid foundation on which society improves itself while the former one inhibits the social development greatly.

在开头写例子是件很有技巧的事情，你想引用亚当斯的国富论里面关于自由竞争促进市场的理论吧。只要引用了例子，就必须对例子进行分析和概括，这也是在开头写例子的缺点，因为必须在最短的篇幅内解释清晰。而你的文章前两句和后面的内容是断开了，你试试如果去掉前两句会不会影响对后面文章的理解——完全不影响。

请注意打字错误，粗略看了一下，有很多词与词间忘记打空格的，可能是打的太快了就没注意。Word拼写检查还是很有用的。

Destructive competition often generates isolation or even confrontation in that it causes people to treat each other as rivals as one’s success is dependent on others’ failure. （这个时候需要解释why，为什么destructive competition就会引起孤立和对抗in that——that又是具体什么我也没有明白——而孤立和对抗＝对手你死我活，我没有看到其中的逻辑）. What rivals usually do to grab victory is criticizing, damaging, and even smearing the opponents. Endless stories tell how students suffer loneliness when they are forced or willing to compete with each other in all parts of their school life.（学生竞争而导致孤独，好可怕…是不是稍微夸张了） Jealousy for better looking, more remarkable academic achievements or even （这里递进关系不明显）better-off family backgrounds lead to break-up and quarrels in friends（嫉妒不是竞争，如果你觉得竞争也是嫉妒的话，就要阐述之间的关系）. When it comes to sports scandals where athletes take illegal drugs to win never come to an end（When是做什么用的，这句话主语是哪个，你是不是想说Sports scandals that athletes take illegal drugs never stop happening.我稍微颠倒一下顺序） Without proper appreciation for others achievements, human beings may end up fighting each other to death. （语言稍微温和一点，打架致死有点可怕…）

我想，问题很清楚了，缺乏清晰的逻辑。关于Issue，我认为最重要的只有两个字：演绎。运动员的问题是不公平竞争，应该抓住不公平的原因以及后果。而学生之间的嫉妒不是竞争，或者可以说是错误的竞争心态。文章应该从不公平竞争这一结果，到背后的原因，恶果，这时候如何你说他们打架致死，也许有人也能接受吧…………

Cooperative competition, on the other hand, not only values personal efforts, encouraging people to try their utmost, but also bases itself on the pursuit of mutual interest（追求共同利益，这到底是合作还是竞争啊）. By involving in such competition, one is expected to behave in a cooperative manner through peaceful exchange and without violating（harm/hurt。侵犯权力、侵犯原则、违法，不是侵犯人） other people. According to the supporters for competition, if birds compete for a limited water supply during a drought, the more suited birds will survive to reproduce and improve the population（等等，我怎么完全没有看懂这个鸟的例子，你再给我讲讲，难道是典故…）. Another example often cited here is Adam Smith’s “invisible hands”（稍微解释一下，这不是常识，不是所有人都懂）. Further argument may attribute quite a few social improvements to competition, competition for modern（名词不要加比较级…） technology, competition for better medicine, etc. Consequently, competition（加个从句啊，用你的话说是Cooperative competition。） is regarded as the bliss for the society.

竞争和合作从某个层面上是反义词关系。他们之间存在着逻辑：
一个人的才能想要最大程度发挥，竞争者在敢于争强的同时，善于与他人合作，互助交流信息，互相鼓励。把个人的力量和集体联合起来，才是最有竞争力的。
而你所说的为了更好的技术、医学成就而竞争，这并没有给竞争定性，它们仍然可以是不公平竞争。如果没有进一步说明，这样的例子的效果就会大打折扣。

But even competition with no malice intention brings about unnecessary costs. In political world, competition means high expenses, thus unnecessary waste of money that will otherwise be spent more wisely. Every presidential campaign in U.S. witnesses a soaring cost. Seeing all these, we can’t help wondering is it really worthy to waste countless time and money on competition?

毕竟我们的作文是老美批改，这么绝对的否认他们的整个选举不好。而且他们的选举是建立在整个社会系统之上的，在政治上有它的益处。这个观点我觉得还是可以写的，权威不是都可以挑战吗？但是要自圆其说，或者适度攻击。另外，前面一直都是说竞争有好的有不好的，这段却说竞争都不好。比如你可以改成过犹不及这样的补充。

In conclusion, competition, the double-edge sword, affects the society as a whole. Along with the remarkable merits it produces, competition holds accountability for some irritating outcomes（？） as well, which can never be overshadowed by its effectiveness to boost society.