Phoenix小组组员4号习作(ISSUE2.20)

86145787UID: 2672301

Author's acclaim that technologies not only influence but also actually determine social customs and ethics is somewhat overwhelmed. Yet the fact is, technologies merely can influence them in some extent, but cannot determine them actually. And this issue should be analyzed in two different aspects.
  To put a light on this issue, what is technology should figure out firstly. Generally speaking, it is the practical application of knowledge especially in particular the areas, such as, the prevalence of mechanization in industrial production let a large number of worker flee out of their tough and bored work and deal with other stuffs；implication of biotechnology providing new way for medical cure, and IT developing the network for connecting whole world by computer or any receptor. Every aspects of those are result of technology, to change our daily life dramatically and bring plentiful new problems, including changing of social customs and ethics challenges.
  Turning to social custom issue first, which means the behavior of the main social numbers. However, it somehow is influenced and determined by technologies. For instance, genetic engineering developed ample new food which can be produced in tremendous number, have successfully figured out the tough problem confusing us for thousands of years. In addition, mechanization not only released workers but also did contribution by improving women's social status, because the work in factory can be carried out by even women for displacement of machine. In contrast, new problem, nevertheless were created, like unemployment and conflicts in family, and lead our life to a more complicated way that male and female will take work instead supporting all the numbers of family by male’s work. Therefore, technologies have determined our social customs actually.
  Turning to ethics issue, although it can be influenced and altered by technologies in some extent, technologies undoubtedly have no power to determine it. For example, even mechanization has influenced the income structure and women's status dramatically, but the basic moral philosophy, the ethics, of concepts such as right and wrong, good and bad, justice and virtue, was not changed in fact. However, technologies like cloning and IT, bring us impulses to reconsider the ethics in contrast. In fact, what can determine the ethics are big events in history, main philosophies like Confucianism dominating Chinese life for thousands years and religion like Buddhism teaching its followers to be mercy. Therefore, to determine the ethics it is impossible for technologies which were applied by human beings with ethics.
  In sum, technologies can influence and determine social customs in some extent, but it merely can influence the ethics.

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1# 86145787
修改 BY 6号
Author's acclaim that technologies not only influence but also actually determine social customs and ethics is somewhat overwhelmed. (reasonable) Yet the fact is, technologies merely can influence them in (to) some extent, but cannot determine them actually. And this issue should be analyzed in two different aspects.

To put a light (没见过这样的用法…) on this issue, what is technology should figure out firstly(这段的TS呢?). Generally speaking, it is the practical application of knowledge especially in particular the areas, such as, the prevalence of mechanization in industrial production let a large number of worker flee out of
(from)their tough and bored work and deal with other stuffs；Implication of biotechnology providing (provide) new way for medical cure, and IT developing
(develop) the network for connecting whole world by computer or any receptor.(terminators) Every aspects of those are result of(from) technology, to change our daily life dramatically and bring plentiful new problems, including changing of social customs and ethics challenges(这里论证有问题,你这里只是说他影响了我们的生活,而没有用例子证明他影响了我们的风俗习惯和伦理道德,比如克隆人技术, 对我们传统的观念的冲击很大,这就是技术影响风俗和道德的一方面).

Turning(不要用turning了这个次都不知道能不能这样用的
用consider ,when it comes to 都行) to social customs
(issue) first, which means the behavior of the main social numbers.(什么意思完全没搞懂) However, it somehow is influenced and determined by technologies. For instance, genetic engineering developed ample new food which can be produced in tremendous number, have successfully figured out the (指的是哪个problem?) tough problem confusing us for thousands of years. In addition, mechanization not only released workers but also did contribution by improving women's social status, because the work in factory can be carried out by even women for displacement of machine. In contrast, new problem, nevertheless were created, like unemployment and conflicts in family(family violence), and lead our life to a more complicated way that male and female will take work instead supporting all the numbers of family by male’s work.(lead to the fact that the family ,which supported by male alone before, have maintained by both family members-male and female) Therefore, technologies have determined our social customs actually.(把这句作为这段的TS)

Turning to ethics issue, although it can be influenced and altered by technologies in some extent, technologies undoubtedly have no power to determine it (你上面都说能改变了,这里又来个undoubtedly can’t determine矛盾了). For example, even mechanization has influenced the income(名词修辞名词了) structure and women's status dramatically, but the basic moral philosophy, the ethics, of concepts such as right and wrong, good and bad, justice and virtue, was not changed in fact(at all). However, technologies like cloning and IT industries, bring us impulses to reconsider the ethics in contrast. In fact, what can determine the ethics are big(significant) events in history, main philosophies like Confucianism dominating Chinese life for thousands years and religion like Buddhism teaching its followers to be mercy. Therefore, to determine the ethics it is impossible for technologies which were applied by human beings with ethics(没看懂).

In sum, technologies can influence and determine social customs in some extent, but it merely can influence the ethics.(结尾可以总结得再详细一些)
点评: 你的是分开讨论的
技术在一定程度上影响和决定社会风俗,但是职能影响伦理道德.
1,例子举得不太好
2每段的TS一定要表达清楚.像你第二段的TS我就没看懂要表达什么
3 从句乱用, 有些次如果即不准确用法的话就不要去用,宁愿是简单句.像上面的把in contrast 后置来用….
4 你的观点还是比较特别的,如果能精确的表达出来的话,这篇文章应该还是很好的