【big fish】习作1.1 issue No.40---by topran

topranUID: 2310216

到后面真开始胡写了，都可以当笑话看了
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TOPIC: ISSUE40 - "Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."
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As time goes by , the argument of interest allocation will never end. When the lovers argue about who should give more love or take more responsibly to each other , at the same time , the politician and economist will always argue that between individual and public who should be benefit most.
Now let's put this hot potato in to scholars and researchers hands , how dose these group of smart people barging between individual interest and society need ? To me, both the two side is crucial , one can never measure the weight different between the each side of the balance.

Firstly , let's think ourselves as those two main characters , can we keep on our research and investigation without interest and passion ? The answer is definitely not. It's not hard to imagine a mathematician sit in front of a desk all day long with just a pen and a few sheets of paper all by oneself , if he or she doesn't enjoy the beauty of math , how can a normal person bear such plain and monotonous life. So as the life of marine biologist who always spend a lot of time on the sea or remote island to get samples, and chemist who will spend thousand hours in lab for an experiment result . Life tough is part of the reason why we respect this occupation a lot . Everyone can have interest , but focus on it and even devote life time to it is just for someone , and the researcher and scholar absolutely belong to the second group. That passion and interest has made each dark night as beautiful as bright spring . Thus, the individual interest is the fundamental for researcher and scholars without it no work can be done.

Secondly , can researcher and scholars do their job without concern about the needs of society ? maybe this question is little hard to answer compare the first one . It seem that, indeed ,nowadays scientist do a lot of research which dose not matter to common people’s life , like to prove each number can be divided in to two prime numbers which is know as Goldbach conjecture and to study the component of the rock from other planet . How dose these work benefit the society ? All these doubt is reasonable , because one of the charming characteristics of research procedure is immeasurable, there are always full of surprise and this research can help us in the future . But no matter how unsociable a research can be , he or she is still a member of the society , the motivation of his or her work must come from the need of society directly or indirectly.

So the last question is if the researcher and scholar focus on their own interest means their less concern about the needs of the society? Is there any chance that the individual interest is match with public need? Can a person be happy without harm the community and even benefit the community ? yes , of cause yes ! As each individual is an element of the society , their interest stick together , if we look out any economic book , the principle will show us the most effective way to make the whole security maximize its utility is to maximize each individual’s utility , the best situation is know as Pareto Optimality which is defined as no one will get any better . Hence , for each research and scholar to peruse their own best interest is also contributed to the society.

In the end , the individual and collective exist at same time , there are not conflict ideas, so one can not easily judge which is more important. As the case of researcher and scholar , history already tell us how their work benefit our life , so let just granted they a little more trust , the treasury on their hands any way ,so let the man with money do the bargain .

strawberryzfUID: 2677658

写的很好^^contribution to society 可以再多说一点啊~

greekyUID: 2605662

我下面的建议主要是在你的结构和过渡方面，具体语言如果不是特别不恰当我就不赘述了:)

As time goes by , the argument of interest allocation will never end. When the lovers argue about who should give more love or take more responsibly to each other , at the same time , the politician and economist will always argue that between individual and public who should be benefit most.（同一个句子里面既包含现在时态也包含将来时态会不会有点难于驾驭呢？ 会不会拆开更好一点  一点个人感觉 呵呵）
Now let's put this hot potato in to （这个用法我不太懂 能不能解释一下？ ）scholars and researchers hands , how dose these group of smart people barging between individual interest and society need ? To me, both the two side is crucial , one can never measure the weight different between the each side of the balance. 表达上有点含糊喽
开头蛮不错的~~~  
Firstly , let's think ourselves as those two main characters , can we keep on our research and investigation without interest and passion ? The answer is definitely not. It's not hard to imagine a mathematician sit in front of a desk all day long with just a pen and a few sheets of paper all by oneself , if he or she doesn't enjoy the beauty of math , how can a normal person bear such plain and monotonous life. So as the life of marine biologist who always spend a lot of time on the sea or remote island to get samples, and chemist who will spend thousand hours in lab for an experiment result . Life tough is part of the reason why we respect this occupation a lot . Everyone can have interest , but focus on it and even devote life time to it is just for someone , and the researcher and scholar absolutely belong to the second group. That passion and interest has made each dark night as beautiful as bright spring . Thus, the individual interest is the fundamental for researcher and scholars without it no work can be done.
第一段论证没的问题，论点--二到三个例子---结论 的模式很清晰 不过能不能在每个例子后面增加一点小小的议论，其实一句话就成了:victory:

Secondly , can researcher and scholars do their job without concern about the needs of society ? maybe this question is little hard to answer compare the first one . It seem that, indeed ,nowadays scientist do a lot of research which dose not matter to common people’s life , like to prove each number can be divided in to two prime numbers which is know as Goldbach conjecture and to study the component of the rock from other planet . How dose these work benefit the society ? All these doubt is reasonable , because one of the charming characteristics of research procedure is immeasurable, there are always full of surprise and this research can help us in the future .（好句子） But no matter how unsociable a research can be , he or she is still a member of the society , the motivation of his or her work must come from the need of society directly or indirectly.
也没有太大问题，而且词汇变化比较多，但是感觉语法上要多留意一点了，别犯低级错误

So the last question is if the researcher and scholar focus on their own interest means their less concern about the needs of the society? Is there any chance that the individual interest is match with public need? Can a person be happy without harm the community and even benefit the community ? yes , of cause yes ! As each individual is an element of the society , their interest stick together , if we look out any economic book , the principle will show us the most effective way to make the whole security maximize its utility is to maximize each individual’s utility (含糊了点), the best situation is know as Pareto Optimality which is defined as no one will get any better . Hence , for each research and scholar to peruse their own best interest is also contributed to the society.

In the end , the individual and collective exist at same time , there are not conflict（contradictive好点） ideas, so one can not easily judge which is more important. As the case of researcher and scholar , history already tell us how their work benefit our life , so let just granted they a little more trust , the treasury on their hands any way ,so let the man with money do the bargain .
点评一下吧，感觉咱们的问题不是一个类型，我就是句型变化少，你的变化相对比较多了，但是语法问题有点突出，你要引起重视了。
其次就是印证了，就这一篇来说，例子偏少、偏主观了；其次就是观点上缺乏一点点深度，你可以参考一下韦小亮的让步论证法。
上面是楼主的一点问题。总体感觉文章还是可以，框架清晰、过渡流畅，欠缺的就是润色。给你个建议，写Issue是需要一定强度的，不然提高很慢。给自己限一下时间吧

topranUID: 2310216

感谢greeky 呢  我好好研究下