[phoenix] Argument45 第7作业 by 3号 求P

ningbo1990UID: 2641538

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
WORDS: 309
TIME: 00:29:03
DATE: 2010/2/23 12:15:37

The author says the deer populations declined and the result is their unable to follow age-old migration patterns, because age-old migration patterns are their tradition, and being damaged by sea ice melt cause by global warming. The argument seems well-present, but not thoroughly well-reasoned. I will discuss in turn.

Firstly, the author does not give dependable facts to show the amount of arctic deer is declining. The local hunters cannot static the total amount deer so their report may not represent the truth. Maybe these deer are more careful and are likely run away before local hunters find them. Or maybe their habitats change to another place that away from hunters.

Moreover, the author does not give information or data about the truth of sea ice melts. The author states the global warming causes the sea ice to melt may not effect function in the deer habitats, then the sea ice could not melt; even if there happens sea ice melt, it may not caused by global warming, maybe the oil exploring produce too much heat that melt sea ice or maybe people broken sea ice in that area to let ships go through conveniently.

Assuming that the global warming happens that caused the ice melt and the population of deer decreased, the author failed to make connection on them. Maybe there are others reasons caused the population to decrease such as the local hunters kill them, or there has a factory that pollution the area where the deer lives or the plants in other islands decreased.

In conclusion, the argument seems logical, but needs improve the data to confirm the decrease of deer` population and the global warming caused the sea ice to melt, also the author should give more strong evident to make sure the melt of sea ice is the reason to cause the population decline.

wu-intrepidUID: 2659758

1# ningbo1990

TOPIC: ARGUMENT45 - The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
WORDS: 309
TIME: 00:29:03
DATE: 2010/2/23 12:15:37

The author says the deer populations declined and the result is their unable to follow age-old migration patterns, because age-old migration patterns are their tradition, and being damaged by sea ice melt cause by global warming. The argument seems well-present, but not thoroughly well-reasoned这句话不建议使用，阅卷人肯定看过成千上万次了. I will discuss in turn同样，建议换个说法.

Firstly, the author does not give dependable facts to show the amount of arctic deer is declining. The local hunters cannot static动词 the total amount deer so their report may not represent the truth. Maybe these deer are more careful and are likely run away before local hunters find them.那么为什么以前不小心现在有小心了呢？它们也不是第一年在这了.. Or maybe their habitats change to another place that away from hunters.为什么会突然改变栖息地？难道以前不想逃避猎人？

Moreover, the author does not give information or data about the truth of sea ice melts. The author states the global warming causes the sea ice to melt may not effect function in the deer habitats我感觉这个句子杂糅了，怎么两个谓语？, then the sea ice could not melt前面一句没看懂，因此我不明白为什么冰就不融化了。; even if there happens sea ice melt, it may not caused by global warming, maybe the oil exploring produce too much heat that melt sea ice or maybe people broken sea ice in that area to let ships go through conveniently.然后呢？结论是鹿的数量因为什么什么下降了，只说冰融化有他因和鹿减少有什么关系？要展示出来。

Assuming that the global warming happens that caused the ice melt and the population of deer decreased, the author failed to make connection on them. Maybe there are others reasons caused the population to decrease such as the local hunters kill them, or there has a factory that pollution动词 the area where the deer lives or the plants in other islands decreased.

In conclusion, the argument seems logical, but needs improve the data to confirm the decrease of deer` population and the global warming caused the sea ice to melt, also the author should give more strong evident to make sure the melt of sea ice is the reason to cause the population decline.

可能是因为限时，貌似写的不是很深入，从字数上也看得出。建议前两点再多写一点。