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[a习作temp] 【Big Fish】习作-1.2 Argument No.6-By rachelwang712 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-23 14:47:21 |显示全部楼层
6The following was written as a part of an application for a small business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. It is clear that the C Note cannot help but make money."
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提纲:
1很多人参加爵士音乐会不代表他们一定热爱爵士乐,可能他们把这个当做朋友聚会
2收听率高可能是因为其他节目收听率过低,或者时段比较好
3有爵士人住不代表邻居喜欢
4全国调查不一定能够适用于这里,经济收入等等因素,而且调查的时间也没有说

The application is well presented but weak in its reasoning. The developers advocate that their jazz club project will be a big hit as people in the area lov e jazz and as there is no such jazz club nearby. However, the correlation they draw between the facts, statistics and the conclusion that residents here are passion for jazz is not logic enough that their appeal for loans get undermined and doubted easily.

In the first place, they highlight the number of people attending local jazz festival last summer to be significant. But the attendance itself never suffices to prove local love for jazz in that no information is provided concerning how many of the audience live in nearby areas and how many of them choose to go there trully for jazz rather than killing time or simply a friend gathering.

Also, the developers cite Jazz Nightly as the highest-rated radio program in that area. However, this still fails to support their point. A relatively high rate can be attributed to numerous reasons other than the attractiveness of the topic concerned in it. Perhaps other radio programs scheduled at the same time with Jazz Nightly have such a low quality that listeners have no choice but to listen to Jazz Nightly. And chances are that audience simply leave the radio on and pay little attention to what is played there. If that is the case, argument that people in Monroe are crazy for jazz should never be made.  

Furthermore, the fact that several famous jazz musicians live in the region hardly proves the developers' point of view. Likely, people residing in Monroe simply because the serenity of the neighbourhood or the beauty of the natural scene rather than just a few jazz musicians. I seriously doubt what srtong impact these jazz stars can impose on their neighbours taste of music. It should be no surprising if the teenage boy living next door plays rock every night despite his neighbour's occupation.

Lastly, a nationwide survey is mentioned to indicate how lucrative a jazz club could be. Nonetheless, the survey itself has several outstanding flaws. When was the study done? A great difference worths noticing whether it was back in 1950 or now. How many people took part in the study? Information as to whether they were 50 doctors with high income or 10,000 blue-collar workers is needed if developers want to apply the result of the study to their own situation.

In conclusion, those who receive this letter of application need to be alert when deciding whether to issue to loan or not and it is more sensible that they demand more information regarding all the issues I raise above to reach their judgment.

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RE: 【Big Fish】习作-1.2 Argument No.6-By rachelwang712 [修改]

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