bensonseu 的ibt 作文

lain0119UID: 2695504

There are varieties of ways, such as Internet, TV, magazines and so forth, through which we can learn a lot about a country. Visiting museums is another way among them, however, in my opinion, not the best way to learn about a country(没动词？！）. My explanation is as following.
Just like the varieties of ways to learn about a country, there also exist several kinds of museums, like history museum and geography museum, to give a general introduction about a country as a whole. National Geography Museum always mainly （两个副词有点重复了）talks about location distribution of a country; people may have a general idea about how large it is or what the main economical substances of its local cities and towns are. Geography museum can give people an impression of the country in a geographical degree while the history museum is in charge of （in charge of 的意思是不是被掌控？！）telling visitors where this country originates from and how it has developed. History of a nation, which includes most of its culture within, is a vital aspect if one is willing to get known it well. Anyone who wants to have an in-depth concept of a country （这个换词好~）would not ignore its special culture. Therefore, visiting museums is indeed an appropriate way to learn about a country in this degree.
Nevertheless, any informed person will find that what I have mentioned above about the main responsibilities of different museums and what we can get from them are all superficial. It is not to say that history and culture of a country can only give us an elementary knowledge about a nation, it is to say that（直接用but可不可以？！） the way of visiting museums can only leave us a superficial idea about a country（稍微和主题句有点重复了~）. Because all what we learn from a museum are all accessible from other means like books, TVs and magazines at home. （最好再论证一下看书，看电视更方便，不用跑得远远地去博物馆，劳民伤财的）Consequently, those who want to know a country deeply will have to look for another approach. As far as I am concerned, paying a personal tour to a country and getting involved to the natives and the culture there will definitely provide us with the firsthand feeling about a country（这一段就不用出现说参观博物馆好的了，之前有段已经提过了~）. In a word（in a word在老外眼里就是一个word= =换一个吧~）, visiting museums seem not to be the best way to learn about a country, to me at least.
In the nutshell, I do agree with the statement that visiting museums is one of the numerous ways to learn about a country. But when it comes to the best way, I don’t think visiting museums is the answer.

参观博物馆是方法之一，但不是最好的~理由段一段写是方法，一段写不是最好的，个人觉得参观博物馆还不是最好的方法写两段出来两个理由更加充分~当然纯属个人之见~我们可以讨论一下的~大概是发站内短信息？！好吧。。。我刚来，不了解gter情况= =

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.8：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways for parents to help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take the part-time job.

Being cramped on campus, teenage children always find it hard to involve into the surroundings after they graduate from schools. Nowadays, here is increasing soaring volume over the concerning that people, including teachers in colleges, parents at home and socialites in the society, should lend their hands to help children handle with adult life better after they step out of the school. As for parents, encouraging their children to take the part-time job can be regarded as one of the best ways to help them prepare for adult life. Taking a part-time job and earning some money for schooling by children themselves will not only reduce parents’ burdens to support their children’s tuition fees, but also cultivate the ability of how to manage finances which is a must for every adult. Through the experience of part-time job, teenage children will find that earning money on their own is not as easy as taking it from their parents’ pockets. Consequently, part-time jobs will produce a favorable influence to teenagers’ attitude toward money and consumption.

Moreover, teenage children can learn a lot from the part-time job, which they cannot obtain during school time, such as how to handle with more sophisticated interpersonal relationships, what a healthy attitude towards success and failure is and so forth. Since living within an enclosed campus boundary, the eyesight of teenage students is also limited into this circle. Who they meet and communicate with everyday are constant like classmates and teachers, and what they do everyday is repeat of study and playing. However, the life outside, after they take the first step into the society, is no longer as simple as they experienced in school. For example, boss in the company may criticize us without any pity if we make a mistake during the work time, and what if we are out of jobs? Suck into depression or struggling against failure? This depends on our attitudes toward the life which is shaped through our varieties of experience. Part-time jobs enable teenage children to pre-step into the society and feel it, which will definitely exert positive influence to the children’s lives in future.

Although there may exist varieties of options for parents to help their teenage children prepare for adult life, taking a part-time job will offer children an opportunity to feel the society on themselves directly and involve it indeed, which can be listed as one of the best alternatives undoubtedly.

增肥UID: 2773671

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1069100&extra=

bensonseuUID: 2707369

3.10: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving schools is the most important factor in successful development of country.


What is the main force pushing the whole society forward? It is science and technology. Then, where is the center garden who nurtures science and technology? It is school where education flourishes. To enhance the development of a country, improving schools is undoubtedly the most important factor.

Schools provide a country with large amounts of students arming with proficient skills of technology and those students will be the nucleus of its development. That is why many provident nations always set aside sufficient sum of funds to support their education systems. Take the United States of America as an example. Although as one of the victims suffering the most from the economy crisis, America still guarantees basic financial support for the schools, especially for colleges and universities. And I do assert that this is one of the most important reasons why America ranks the first in this world for the most developed country. Laboratories in colleges not only just serve as a necessary institute for students to do varieties of experiments, but more importantly act as the predecessors of high-technology which is still being under the research and has not existed in society yet. Any country requiring successful development won’t ignore the significance of schools and the improvement of schools.

In addition, schools play a vital role in shaping the value of the country as a whole. An individual’s value to his/her life or this world always has been formed during his school time. As the owners of a nation, People’s attitudes towards things determine its future. In this degree, improving schools does not limit to build more teaching buildings or more labs, it should reach to the aspects of some soft facilities such as teachers’ teaching methods and students’ fitness of both physiology and psychology. Only combine the soft facilities with the hard ones, can schools provide sufficient human resources for further development of a country. Any country which will not overlook the importance of its people’s values of life and the world to its development may also not deny the necessary of improving school.

In the nutshell, any country which wants successful development should put the importance of improving schools at the first place.

51航海UID: 2738581

What is the main force pushing the whole society forward? It is science and technology. Then, where is the center garden who nurtures science and technology? It is school（s） where education flourishes. To enhance the development of a country, improving schools is undoubtedly the most important factor。

Schools provide a country with large amounts of students arming with proficient skills of technology and those students will be the nucleus of its development. That is why many provident nations always set aside sufficient sum of funds to support their education systems. Take the United States of America as an example. Although as one of the victims suffering the most from the economy crisis, America still guarantees basic financial support for the schools, especially for colleges and universities. And I do assert that this is one of the most important reasons why America ranks the first in this world for the most developed country. Laboratories in colleges not only just serve as a necessary institute for students to do varieties of experiments, but more importantly act as the predecessors of high-technology which is still being under the research and has not existed in society yet. Any country requiring successful development won’t ignore the significance of schools and the improvement of schools.(例子很好~赞)

In addition, schools play a vital role in shaping the value of the country as a whole. An individual’s value to his/her life or this world always has been formed during his school time. As the owners of a nation, People’s attitudes towards things determine its future. In this degree, improving schools does not limit to build more teaching buildings or more labs, it should reach to the aspects of some soft facilities such as teachers’ teaching methods and students’ fitness of both physiology and psychology. Only combine the soft facilities with the hard ones, can schools provide sufficient human resources for further development of a country. Any country which will not overlook the importance of its people’s values of life and the world to its development may also not deny the necessary of improving school.
In the nutshell, any country which wants successful development should put the importance of improving schools at the first place.（结尾单薄啊，在总结一下观点）

语言很不错么，学习，论述也充足~~~

bensonseuUID: 2707369

2010-07-08
TOPIC:Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.

Nowadays, a large number of educators both from and outside the schools are working on how to provide a better and more effective education for students. As a result, they have come up with varieties of approaches such as improving the qualities of teachers as well as teaching facilities, which really generate great effects on the education level. However, of sorted ways to improve education of students, there is no way for attending classes for 11 months of a year to reach a better education, in my opinion.

Maybe it's true that a longer time study will come out with more knowledge absorbed. Nevertheless, large quantities are not equal to better qualities and attending classes 11 months of year does not amount to a more effective education. Anyone would not deny that an effective education will have to need a balance between rest and work, both for students and teachers. Attending school 11 months of year, which is approximately 3 months more than what current education system demands, will inevitably and largely reduce the vacation duration for students and teachers. A direct consequence we may predict is that educators will be out of strength and enthusiasm while students may also become bored to learn, which is apparently driving on the opposite way to what we want---a better and effective education.

One who agrees with the above maintenance may also ignore another fact that classes are not the only source students receive education from and they need education outside the classes, too. However, a 11-month-time study in classes will indisputably keep the students from the outer world for a long time and they are deprived of many opportunities to study something more such as interpersonal skills and independence, which are absent from schools but are also essential to one's future life. Education's goal is to offer students a good background to the success and teach them how to educate themselves all their lives. Notwithstanding, spending 11 months of a year on listening teachers to spread what they know will reduce time for students to think themselves and to learn outside.

To sum up, I do not believe that students will receive a better and effective education if they were attending classes 11 months of a year.

mollymollymollyUID: 2839509

Nowadays, a large number of educators both from inside加上这个会不会顺一点and outside the schools are working on how to provide a better and more effective education for students. As a result, they have come up with varieties of approaches such as improving the qualities of teachers as well as teaching facilities, which really generate great effects on the education level. However, of sorted ways to improve education of students, there is no way干嘛了 这个 语法错误了吧  还是我短见了 \ for attending classes for 11 months of a year to reach a better education, in my opinion.7 [$ r. |6 j. q1 d( e9 F% f7 H

7 ?: T1 ]4 B8 b' l/ }1 @: ^# {9 E! @Maybe it's true that a longer time study will come out with more knowledge absorbed. Nevertheless, large quantities are not equal to better qualities and attending classes 11 months of year does not amount to a more effective education. Anyone would not deny that an effective education will have to need a balance between rest and work, both for students and teachers. Attending school 11 months of year, which is approximately 3 months more than what current education system demands, will inevitably and largely reduce the vacation duration for students and teachers. A direct consequence we may predict is that educators will be out of strength and enthusiasm while students may also become bored to learn, which is apparently driving on the opposite way to what we want---a better and effective education.6 h8 X8 [9 x* f0 g% o5 s
3 R! C! A' [4 ~, R
One who agrees with the above maintenance may also ignore another fact that classes are not the only source students receive education from and they need education outside the classes, too. However, a 11-month-time study in classes will indisputably keep the students from the outer world for a long time and they are deprived of many opportunities to study something more such as interpersonal skills and independence, which are absent from schools but are also essential to one's future life. Education's goal is to offer students a good background to the success and teach them how to educate themselves all their lives. Notwithstanding, spending 11 months of a year on listening teachers to spread what they know will reduce time for students to think themselves and to learn outside.
To sum up, I do not believe that students will receive a better and effective education if they were attending classes 11 months of a year.
感觉你句式多样 不错  请教一下 你说我的例子牵强 请问 有些论点 我觉得很直接  但是就是想不到例子 废话也想不到 就比如我那篇的第一段  论点是 时间越长 越好   怎么举例呢  教教我吧 你可以发站内信给我吗 帮我想个例子即可

694055322UID: 2792795

39# mollymollymolly 我有点小建议，ls的，你那个说的时间越长，越好，逻辑就出问题了，不好意思，我比较直接~~~我看过你那篇文章，我改过的，不知道你记得不。。。。真的。。。。我个人觉得在你提出论点的时候一定要合理。。。不能偏激。。。不能写一些明显不成立的东西还有过于敏感的东西。。。。

694055322UID: 2792795

2010-07-08
TOPIC:Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.) H" F% b- C) C! ~
9 m4 d# @* G* Q$ a
Nowadays, a large number of educators both from and outside the schools are working on how to provide a better and more effective education for students. As a result, they have come up with varieties of approaches such as improving the qualities of teachers as well as teaching facilities, which really generate great effects on the education level. However, of sorted ways to improve education of students, there is no way for attending classes for 11 months of a year to reach a better education, in my opinion.2 ] (我不知道有没有这样的表达法，但是我觉得这句话可以这么说：there is no better way to guarantee students’ education than requiring students to attend classes for 11 months of a year.) D/ n- A( L4 i/ R+ RR$ \% q
Maybe it's true that a longer period of  time study will come out with more knowledge absorbed. Nevertheless, large quantities are not equal to better qualities and attending classes 11 months of year does not amount to a more effective education. (最好浓缩出一个主题句)Anyone would not deny that an effective education will have to need a balance between rest and work, both for students and teachers. Attending school 11 months of year, which is approximately 3 months more than what current education system demands, will inevitably and largely reduce the vacation duration for students and teachers. A direct consequence we may predict is that educators will be out of strength and enthusiasm while students may also become bored to learn, which is apparently driving on the opposite way to what we want---a better and effective education.% t( Q# v8 f2 Y* Z1 h* `& ] T: L, c# A: J" f: q" C8 T
One who agrees with the above maintenance may also ignore another fact that classes are not the only source from which students receive education from and they need education outside the classes, too. However, a 11-month-time study in classes will indisputably keep the students from the outer world for a long time and they are deprived of many opportunities to study something more such as interpersonal skills and independence, which are absent from schools but are also essential to one's future life. Education's goal is to offer students a good background to the success and teach them how to educate themselves all their lives. Notwithstanding, spending 11 months of a year on listening teachers to spread what they know will reduce time for students to think themselves and to learn outside.

To sum up, I do not believe that students will receive a better and effective education if they were attending classes 11 months of a year.
总体来说，我是觉得你文笔不错，但是结构不够清晰，可能是主题句提炼的不够清楚吧。。。还有，你一直在说理，老外会看不下去的，至少举一个例子吧。。另外，你只有两个理由，经典的都是五段论，就是要三个理由。。。。

mollymollymollyUID: 2839509

40# 694055322 不知道为什么我觉得没有大问题 就是我需要进行 论证的东西么

bensonseuUID: 2707369

2010-07-12
Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


Different people may hold different attitudes towards assigning homework to students everyday. Some may aruge that homework plays an essential role in students’ study process while others may defend that as students have worked at school all day long, there is no need to assign extra homework to them. As far as I am concerned, however, I do support that daily homework is necessary for students for the following reasons.

First of all, daily homework can help students review what they have learnt at school and check out whether they have really accepted it. Students, especially for pupils in primary school, are usually lack of self-control abilities. They may leave behind all that the teachers taught in class and have fun with their friends after school. Sufficient daily homework can force them to review the keypoints of the former class so as not to forget all about it.

Another purpose of homework is to check out the comprehension of what the teachers gave in class. Many students may have an experience that they can understand the lecture in class but have no idea when facing exercise problems. Daily homework with a few relevant exercieces will exert useful purposes to understand and apply what we learnt in classes.

Third, also as an form of daily homework, to preview what we will learn the next day will largely enhance our efficiency in the following class. Taking with the problems we faced during the process of previewing, we may find it easier to concerntarte in class. With previewing, stuents can also communicate with the teachers and classmates about their thought during the class instead of transmitting knowledge all by the teachers alone. Through this way, students can grasp the knowledge actively and learn how to study independently.

Although all the advantages of daily homework which have been discussed above, over-emphasis on daily homework should not be advocated. Students should be left enough time to study or involve into something that is absent from shool, such as socialism and visiting all around. Otherwise, students would become tired and bored to learn more. A better education should be balanced between work and rest.

To sum up, I do support that daily homework is necessary for students while they should also be guaranteed with enough rest, too.


(附件里也有，麻烦修改的人下载附件有修改，直接复制版面文章有乱码，谢啦~~~(*^__^*) ~~~)

langtianrinuanUID: 2810236

By bensonseu


Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.


Different people may hold different attitudes towards assigning homework to students everyday. Some may aruge that homework plays an essential role in students’ study process（意思是：研究过程，改为learning processes ）while others may defend that as students have worked at school all day long, there is no need to assign extra homework
to them. As far as I am concerned, however, I do support that daily homework is necessary for students for the following reasons.

First of all, daily homework can help students review what they have learnt at school and check out whether they have really accepted it or not. Students, especially for primary school pupils, are usually lack of self-control abilities(这个词有点生造的感觉，没有查到例句，改成self-discipline是不是更好一点？). They may leave behind（感觉这个词用得不是很准确，没有查到类似的用法，待考证） all that the teachers taught in class and have fun with their friends after school. Sufficient daily homework can force them to review the keypoints of the former（previous，感觉former常常是用在两者比较中的前者或之前的情形） class so as not to forget all about it（如果是指代keypoints 那么应该用them）. 你这段的主题句包含了review和check out 两部分，但是接下来的论证仅论证了review，没有提到check。这在结构上就有些不平衡了。另外你的第三句话和第四句，如果我理解没有偏差的话，感觉说的是一个意思。所以，论证上还可以再充分些，可以举些另外的例子。

Another purpose of homework is to check out the comprehension of what the teachers have taught in class. （这个论点单独成段的话，那么上一段的主体句就应该做相应的修改）Many students may have an(建议删除) experience that they can understand the lecture in class but have no idea（这个意思是，不知道，个人觉得改成feel at loss 更准确） when facing exercise（建议删除） problems. Daily homework with a few relevant exercises can exert useful purposes(这个说法好像不对，要是我可能改成Daily homework with a few excises can greatly promote the understanding and application of what have learnt in class) to understand and apply what we have learnt in classes.

Thirdly, also(建议删除) as an(a) form of daily homework, to preview what we will learn the next day will largely enhance our efficiency in the following class（建议改成previewing beforehand will largely enhance efficiency in the following class ）. Taking(Bringing) with the problems we faced during the process of previewing, we may find it easier to concerntarte(be concentrated?) in class. With previewing, stuents (students) can also communicate with the teachers and classmates about their thought during the class instead of transmitting knowledge all by the teachers alone(建议改成listening to teachers transmitting knowledge along). Through this way, students can grasp the knowledge actively and eventually learn how（建议删除） to study independently.

Although（Despite of, although后面连接句子） all the advantages of daily homework which have been discussed above, over-emphasis on daily homework should not be advocated（这句话什么意思？）. Students should be left enough time to（for）
study or involve into something that is absent from shool（school）（这句话也没看懂，再仔细读读，再改改）, such as socialism（socialism是社会主义的意思，社交是social life ）and visiting（Travelling） all（建议删除） around. Otherwise, students would become tired and bored to learn more. A better education should be balanced between work and the rest.(有语病)

To sum up, I do support that daily homework is necessary for students while they should also be guaranteed with enough rest（？）, too.（结尾有点太短了）

建议：
1．  1.作文在拿给其他人看之前，自己要先看过，尽量避免一些不应该出现的拼写错误和明显语法错误。确保文章前后的连贯性和一致性。建议前期练习时，写完要用word纠错。
2．  2.语言上，感觉词汇的多样性还有待加强，比如homework, in class反复出现，平时练习时就要有意识地尽量用同义词，近义词，多样化表达。
3．  3.个别词组，感觉用得不是很精确，建议对于不确定的表达方式，尽量找例句。
4．  4.观点展开，论证逻辑上还有些单薄。建议总结185篇满分作文的类似题目的论证方式。
5．  5.总体来说，论证思路还是很清楚的，开头、论点展开和结尾还是一目了然的，但是，结尾和中间的连接词上还有改进的空间。


我自己也是菜鸟，以上只是个人意见，可能有说得不对的地方，那就请多多包涵了。

bensonseuUID: 2707369

7.20 作文

麻烦修改的同学直接下载附件修改，直接复制论坛内容有乱码。。。。

THX！