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一帆枫顺

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发表于 2010-2-23 19:36:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 bensonseu 于 2010-2-23 19:38 编辑

2.23. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because people are too busy doing many different things, they can do few things well.


Since the rapid development of the society, there is a tendency that people who can accomplish to do many different things well will definitely receive more respect and higher social status. At the age of knowledge and information explosion, high efficiency is of paramount importance for anyone who wants to succeed. Therefore, it is entirely possible and necessary for a successful person to do many different things well nowadays.

No one can deny that science and technology have experienced great progress since these years. Consequently, people are able to work in a high efficiency with the help of advanced science and technology. An apparent example is the application of modern technology in education. Currently, it is popular for educators, ranging from junior and senior school teachers to college or university professors, to use computer technology to help them teach. With the help of PPT slides on the screen connected with computer, teachers can focus themselves on explaining problems and interacting with students, instead of board writing, without any concern that any unexpected case, like whispering among the class, would occur after turning back towards the blackboard. People improve science and technology, and science and technology serve people to work more efficiently in return.

Moreover, different things do not equal to separated or independent things. That is to say, many things are linked with each other. Therefore, an appropriate knowledge of related subjects will produce favorable effects to some certain subjects. For instance, students armed with a good concept of mathematics will find it easy to study physics and computer programming. Because mathematics serves as kind of tool, to some degree, which can be applied into varieties of fields. A realization of close inherence among things will help people to work or study more efficiently.

Last but not the least, an increasing number of people are beginning to realize the keen competition during their lives that they have to own some special, but also fundamental sometimes, abilities to survive. A tiny example is that one can send an e-mail while boiling a cup of coffee after getting up in the morning or a student can review what he learned yesterday in his mind when riding a bicycle to the school. Things would be done nice as well if a proper optimization to measures is taken into account though a great deal of time is saved.

In conclusion, it is not only possible but necessary and urgent for people to do things well even though they are busy doing many different nowadays.
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IBT Zeal

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发表于 2010-2-24 14:02:48 |只看该作者
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板凳
发表于 2010-2-24 18:12:14 |只看该作者
Since the rapid development of the society, there is a tendency that people who can accomplish to do many different things well will definitely receive more respect and higher social status. At the age of knowledge and information explosion, high efficiency is of paramount importance for anyone who wants to succeed. Therefore, it is entirely possible and necessary for a successful person to do many different things well nowadays.开头不错阿 赞一个

No one can deny that science and technology have experienced great progress since these years.鄙人之见,感觉第一句去掉会更好 第一段已经讲了很多这方面的了 Consequently, people are able to work in a high efficiency with the help of advanced science and technology. An apparent example is the application of modern technology in education. Currently, it is popular for educators, ranging from junior and senior school teachers to college or university professors, to use computer technology to help them teach. With the help of PPT slides on the screen connected with computer, teachers can focus themselves on explaining problems and interacting with students, instead of board writing, without any concern that any unexpected case, like whispering among the class, would occur after turning back towards the blackboard. People improve science and technology, and science and technology serve people to work more efficiently in return.例子用的挺生动的~不过老外对课堂Whisper好像不太介意的说 . V+ S9 O0 x
: c! N9 y3 l$ g4 V& a% d! }
Moreover, different things do not equal to separated or independent things. That is to say, many things are linked with each other. Therefore, an appropriate knowledge of related subjects will produce favorable effects to some certain subjects. For instance, students armed with a good concept of mathematics will find it easy to study physics and computer programming. Because mathematics serves as kind of tool, to some degree, which can be applied into varieties of fields. A realization of close inherence among things will help people to work or study more efficiently.   

Last but not the least, an increasing number of people are beginning to realize the keen competition during their lives that they have to own some special, but also fundamental sometimes, abilities to survive. A tiny example is that one can send an e-mail while boiling a cup of coffee after getting up in the morning or a student can review what he learned yesterday in his mind when riding a bicycle to the school. Things would be done nice as well if a proper optimization to measures is taken into account though a great deal of time is saved.这句总结的不错

In conclusion, it is not only possible but necessary and urgent for people to do things well even though they are busy doing many different nowadays.简短的结尾~能加点出彩的东西更好
很多好词好句值得学习吖~很流畅 看得出功力不浅 呵呵 继续加油

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一帆枫顺

地板
发表于 2010-2-24 18:26:33 |只看该作者
2.24 Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.


People may choose their living place depending on varieties of circumstances. Therefore, in my opinion, I don’t agree the statement above that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

In the first place, either the city or the country has its own advantages; one can make his decision totally due to his preference. People living in the city formerly may be attracted by the beauty of the farm land and the sweet voice of different kinds of birds, and move to the country later. Similarly, people who have lived in the country for a long time that they seem to be looking forward to the convenience of transportation and various kinds of entertainment in the city may also choose to live in the city for a while. As for me, there is no need to stay in a place all one’s life and we can freely choose our living space if we need.

Secondly, there are many aspects people may consider to decide where to live, especially to the adults. Graduated students are likely to reside where they are working. And if taken education conditions or social climate into account, parents may choose a best place for their children’s development in the future. No things in the world would stay constant, so would the human beings. As a result, it is entirely possible and reasonable for people to choose different places to live during their lives.

Admittedly, over emigration would also bring about some serious problems such as crime and prostitution. So government should limit the number of people to move from one place to another immoderately, especially from the country to the city for job hunting.

To sum up, there is no such a matter of “should” here to decide where to live. People can choose their shelters wherever they like rather than what the statement above puts that we should live in the city or country all our lives.

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发表于 2010-2-25 18:00:47 |只看该作者
People may choose their living place depending on varieties of circumstances. Therefore, in my opinion, I don’t agree the statement above that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place
首段简单明了,提出本文中心,不过读起来就有些感觉不对:因:人们依靠不同的环境选择住所,果:所以,我不同意。。。。 大的问题没有,不过感觉因果关系不好。。。.


首段m6 Y% |
In the first place, either the city or the country has its own advantages; one can make his decision totally due to his preference. People living in the city formerly may be attracted by the beauty of the farm land and the sweet voice of different kinds of birds, and move to the country later. Similarly, people who have lived in the country for a long time that they seem to be looking forward to the convenience of transportation and various kinds of entertainment in the city may also choose to live in the city for a while. As for me, there is no need to stay in a place all one’s life and we can freely choose our living space if we need
观点应该是人选择住在不同的地方(城镇 乡村)是因为不同的原因(环境),是么?说实话,有点像口语O(∩_∩)O~ 对于本段的思想论述的还可以,不过和本文的观点,感觉有些接不上的地方,建议,在说完乡村 城镇之后又个过渡的区域 然后再总结。请楼主斟酌一下2 j/ E) z' _8 x
7 w( X8 \& u1 c
Secondly, there are many aspects people may consider to decide where to live, especially to the adults.  Graduated students are likely to reside where they are working. And if taken education conditions or social climate into account, parents may choose a best place for their children’s development in the future. No things in the world would stay constant, so would the human beings. As a result, it is entirely possible and reasonable for people to choose different places to live during their lives.+ o+ ]  @* D7 u  o  D7 U* c
(本段思想是从成年人的角度说不同环境选择的原因么?可是仍然是choose 而不是 move 呀,感觉和题目有出入)
+ z) |4 f6 u* t; b9 i5 E  AAdmittedly, over emigration would also bring about some serious problems such as crime and prostitution. So government should limit the number of people to move from one place to another immoderately, especially from the country to the city for job hunting.
(本段观点,过分迁移带来的危害,这个论点很大很大 更很难论证,一句话的理由没办法支撑的,)
; k' ?+ A, I! X ; T6 D" Y1 w- `1 m/ h0 K: }5 _+ E
To sum up, there is no such a matter of “should” here to decide where to live挺好的. People can choose their shelters wherever they like rather than what the statement above puts that we should live in the city or country all our lives.

总的说来,本文的提纲楼主没有准备好,有些跑题的嫌疑
而展开的方式也有问题:
1,从环境的角度
2,从成人的角度
3,迁移的危害
对于3,楼主的论述不够
对于1,2 比如哦,我们可以从男人 女人的角度入手,可以从成人,孩子的角度入手,而成人 和环境,总感不妥
忘楼主斟酌

对于语言方面,自己实在是垃圾 就不敢班门弄斧O(∩_∩)O~
以上纯属个人观点,也是心里话
如果有说的不妥的地方请楼主见谅

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发表于 2010-2-25 18:23:38 |只看该作者

People may choose their living place depending on varieties of circumstances. Therefore, in my opinion, I don’t agree (加个with)the statement above that people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.
1 S7 ^6 r% X& U* [

* p# ^; s) B4 X' v5 _! f  Y0 }* c

In the first place, either the city or the country has its own advantages; one can make his decision totally(我觉得这个说的绝对了点儿,totally?稍微注意下语言) due to his preference. People living in the city formerly may be attracted by the beauty of the farm land and the sweet voice of different kinds of birds, and move to the country later. Similarly, people who have lived in the country for a long time that they(这个从句是不对的, who have lived in the country for a long time 是定语从句,用括号括起来之后就成了people that they seem to……,可以把that they 去掉)seem to be looking forward to the convenience of transportation and various kinds of entertainment in the city
(从句套从句,说实话,比较混乱,而且主语都有点不一致了……不建议使用这样太太太长的句子)may also choose to live in the city for a while. As for me, there is no need to stay in a place all one’s life and we can freely choose our living space if (改成aswe need." f' s9 f, I5 m& m& l1 G! z8 [& |

" @. p) i$ w1 X, l8 L& [
Secondly, there are many aspects people may consider to decide where to live, especially to the adults. Graduated students are likely to reside(赞~\(≧▽≦)/~ where they are working. And if taken(主动taking
education conditions or social climate into account, parents may choose a best place for their children’s development in the future. No things in the world would stay constant, so would the human beings
(万物不是永恒的,所以人类也是一样?我觉得改成或者说人类的居住环境也是一样,所以这个句子改成so does human beings’ living place. As a result, it is entirely possible and reasonable for people to choose different places to live during their lives.2 p# p/ A( w' P" r

& s; Y' h' |6 c0 M4 d- c' g/ s- d
Admittedly, over emigration would also bring about some serious problems such as crime and prostitution.(赞~\(≧▽≦)/~ So government should limit the number of people to move(改成movinglimit的是number,所以后面的是做people的定语)
from one place to another immoderately, especially
those moving from the country to the city for job hunting. (我觉得这段的立意是不错的,在说明了moving to another place 的必要之后,再略写over migration 的坏处,赞)
# G; X* T: T; i) ~2 H3 x! q% n: u3 G

2 c3 n$ x9 `6 ^( v
To sum up, there is no such aa是不是应该去掉,no such后面不需要这个^_^
matter of “should” here to decide where to live. People can choose their shelters wherever they like rather than what the statement above puts that we should live in the city or country all our lives.

我觉得文章不错,就是由一个小小的缺点,例子都是在说道理事实,没有具体的例子,或许举几个具体的例子会更好^_^

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发表于 2010-2-25 19:32:19 |只看该作者
2.25 Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money, agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is an increasing number of people, especially businessmen, realize that money should not be their sole goal to make in the market economy. However, I still argue that businessmen, at least most of them, are only motivated by desire of money, for the following reasons.

Firstly, a glance at the surroundings around us will clearly tell you the truth that our planet is no longer the one it was. Take my city as an example, birds ringing in the early morning has become one of my sweet memories because their shelters---trees--- were cut down for buildings; swimming in the river behind my home could only be imagined in my night dreams because factories are coloring it with liquid waste without purification. Who are the criminals for all of these? Businessmen are the first to be blame! Additionally, many people have to wear a mask due to the tail gas generated by large numbers of cars and factories. If ever these businessmen have taken into our living environment into consideration when they are pouring money into their own pockets, our planet---also our mother who nurtured us---would not suffer such a pain, never!

What’s worse? Advertisements! We are living in a sea of advertisements now which always cheat us to buy something we never need. Plenty of resources are squandered by businessmen to make needless things for profits. Actually, we are not only cheated by ads, but by some greedy and ravenous businessmen. Bernard Madoff, former president of NASDAQ, took advantage of the investors’ unshaken reliance on him and operated the Ponzi scheme lasting for decades which might be the largest investment fraud in the Wall Street history. Fortunately, Madoff got his comeuppance eventually. But thousands of people have to suffer from this financial fraud and many of them became homeless and jobless. Governments should be encouraged to make effective rules and laws to prevent businessmen from making money at the expense of morality.

Admittedly, there are a few businessmen who possess consciousness and help a great many of people to live better in this world, such as Bill Gates. Gates is not only one of the world’s richest men, but more importantly he is the most generous men in this world who are now concentrating himself on public health especially in some poor countries. But he is just an exceptional example among countless selfish businessmen and what we need most is businessmen as kind-hearted as Gates more than as rich as Gates.

In a word, I do agree the statement that money is the only motivation of businessmen.

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发表于 2010-2-26 21:01:31 |只看该作者
2.26 Do you agree or disagree with the statement: Playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life.


If we take a deep look at the sports on the playground, we may find out not a few similarities between sports and life. As for me, I do maintain the view that playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life. I will explain my point of view from the following aspects.

Firstly, talent is one of the essential opponents deciding success or failure in one’s life. In the past 28th Olympic Games, the biggest winner first coming to our mind may be Michael Phelps, nicknamed as the Baltimore Bullet, who equaled the record 8 golden medals of any type at a single Olympics. No one would deny the fact that Michael’s talent of perfect figure for swimming contributed greatly to his phenomenal success. Similarly, people should also take talent into consideration when they make a decision over some fatal issues, such as career, in their lives. This is particular important for people who wants to be an artist. Art, as well as some other aspects, requires talent and talent will put people into a favorable position in job hunting in life. This is what Phelps tells us from his experience.

However, talent is not the only determinant for a good life; we also need cooperation. Cooperation is most common in ball games, because most of them are a pattern of teamwork. Kobe Bryant may be one of the most impressive players in NBA. Nevertheless, without other members of L.A. Lakers, Kobe would never win a game through his own efforts. Cooperation is of paramount importance in NBA court, so is in a society as a whole. Society is a just larger court consisting of more individuals, calling for more coordination and concerning for more cooperation. People in life may own a certain kind of talent, but a complicated task always requires all kinds of talents among varieties of fields. Only through cooperation or teamwork can we reach a remarkable success together. Playing games can be regarded as one of the aspects in life, especially to the professional athletes, and we can learn a lot about life from a sport match.

In conclusion, I do agree with the statement that playing games consists of important lessons in life.

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发表于 2010-2-26 21:58:42 |只看该作者
Nowadays, there is an increasing number of people, especially businessmen, realize that money should not be their sole goal to make in the market economy. However, I still argue that businessmen, at least most of them, are only motivated by desire of money, for the following reasons.开头一个转折,让步~ 赞一个

Firstly, a glance at the surroundings around us will clearly tell you the truth that our planet is no longer the one it was. Take my city as an example, birds ringing in the early morning has become one of my sweet memories because their shelters---trees--- were cut down for buildings; swimming in the river behind my home could only be imagined in my night dreams because factories are coloring it with liquid waste without purification. (优美吖~)Who are the criminals for all of these? Businessmen are the first to be blame! Additionally, many people have to wear a mask due to the tail gas generated by large numbers of cars and factories. If ever these businessmen have taken into our living environment into consideration when they are pouring money into their own pockets, our planet---(最好改逗号吧,比较保险一点)also our mother who nurtured us---would not suffer such a pain, never!

What’s worse? Advertisements! We are living in a sea of advertisements now which always cheat(cheats) us to buy something we never need. Plenty of resources are squandered by businessmen to make needless things for profits. Actually, we are not only cheated by ads, but by some greedy and ravenous businessmen. Bernard Madoff, former president of NASDAQ, took advantage of the investors’ unshaken reliance on him and operated the Ponzi scheme lasting for decades which might be the largest investment fraud in the Wall Street history. Fortunately, Madoff got his comeuppance eventually. But thousands of people have (had) to suffer from this financial fraud and many of them became homeless and jobless. Governments should be encouraged to make effective rules and laws to prevent businessmen from making money at the expense of morality.

Admittedly, there are a few businessmen who possess consciousness and help a great many of people to live better in this world, such as Bill Gates. Gates is not only one of the world’s richest men, but more importantly he is the most generous men in this world who are now concentrating himself on public health especially in some poor countries. But he is just an exceptional example among countless selfish businessmen and what we need most is businessmen as kind-hearted as Gates more than as rich as Gates. (这样的结构安排不错呢~)
In a word, I do agree the statement that money is the only motivation of businessmen.(好简单的结尾哦~最好能再画龙点睛一下)

LZ语言很优美,用词,句子的结构都很好~只是有个别小错误而已,以后注意检查下时态就好了。个人觉得businessmen are only motivated by desire of money 这个论点很难论~,看完感觉第二,第三段的分论点很难琢磨,能清晰点更好吖~KEEP GOING!

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发表于 2010-2-26 22:52:39 |只看该作者
2.25 Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money, agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is an increasing number of people, especially businessmen, realize that money should not be their sole goal to make in the market economy. However, I still argue that businessmen, at least most of them, are only motivated by desire of money, for the following reasons.% l! w4 R5 D4 S/ n

Firstly, a glance at the surroundings around us will clearly tell you the truth that our planet is no longer the one it was. Take my city(LZ这个感觉。。整个城市是你家??建议用the city where im living之类的,而且你查google,只有歌名,space的名字才用这个,没有人再文章里用这个 ) as an example, birds ringing in the early morning has become one of my sweet memories because their shelters---trees--- were cut down for buildings; swimming in the river behind my home could only be imagined in my night dreams because factories are coloring it with liquid waste without purification. Who are the criminals for all of these? Businessmen are the first to be blamed! Additionally, many people have to wear a mask due to the tail gas generated by large numbers of cars and factories. If ever these businessmen have taken into our living environment into consideration when they are pouring money into their own pockets, our planet---also our mother who nurtured us---would not suffer such a pain, never!

What’s worse? Advertisements! We are living in a sea of advertisements now which always cheats us to buy something which we never need. Plenty of resources are squandered by businessmen to make needless things for profits. Actually, we are not only cheated by ads, but also (么有动词呀。)by some greedy and ravenous businessmen. Bernard Madoff, former president of NASDAQ, took advantage of the investors’ unshaken reliance on him and operated the Ponzi scheme lasting for decades which might be the largest investment fraud in the Wall Street history(这个举例好强大呀). Fortunately, Madoff got his comeuppance eventually. But thousands of people have to suffer(was suffered) from this financial fraud and many of themwas became homeless and jobless. Governments should be encouraged to make effective rules and laws to prevent businessmen from making money at the expense of morality. # n, K9 C5 Y6 ^/ F& s; Z

Admittedly, there are a few businessmen who possess consciousness and help a great many of people to live better in this world, such as Bill Gates. Gates is not only one of the world’s richest men, but more importantly he is the most generous men in this world who are now concentrating himself on public health especially in some poor countries. But he is just an exceptional example among countless selfish businessmen and what we need most is businessmen as kind-hearted as Gates more than as rich as Gates
. , l! i* n& A9 A) F4 ~. z
5 v- l( q5 d" \
In a word, I do agree the statement that money is the only motivation of businessmen.

总结:非常不错的一片文章。就是结尾一句话,看着少了,建议多写2句。然后,第一个论点吧,说实话,从楼主写得观点 我比较难把环境破坏跟经济利益挂钩,个人建议你就举一个坎木或者排污之类的一个,仔细阐明这个跟经济有何关系,怎么触动了人家的利益之类的会更好一点。。 第2,第3个论点写得不错, 整篇文章很流畅。继续加油!!

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发表于 2010-2-27 11:33:56 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 奇流沙 于 2010-2-27 11:37 编辑

2.26 Do you agree or disagree with the statement: Playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life.

If we take a deep look at the sports on the playground, we may find out not a few similarities between sports and life. As for me, I do maintain(这个词有维护之意,不如用support如何?) the view that playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life. I will explain my point of view from the following aspects
" [9 V  _. V2 |/ }3 G
Firstly, talent is one of the essential opponents(可是想表达components?) 此处少介词加上in 或者when 如何?)deciding success or failure in one’s life. In the past 28th Olympic Games, the biggest winner first coming to our mind may be Michael Phelps, nicknamed as the Baltimore Bullet, who equaled the record(??)
8 golden medals of any type at a single Olympics
(此句是否想要表达who renewed the record of 8 single competitions on Olympics? 我表达的也不好,但是你原先那句有点让人摸不着头脑……). No one would deny the fact that Michael’s talent of perfect figure for swimming(请教?) contributed greatly to his phenomenal success. Similarly, people should also take talent into consideration when they make a decision over some fatal issues, such as career, in their lives. This is particular important for people who wants to be an artist. Art, as well as some other aspects(用aspects有点生硬,改为disciplines如何?), requires talent and talent will(用从句which will) put people into a favorable position in job hunting in life. This is what Phelps tells us from his experience.
论点:个人天赋决定成败与否。尽管这一段提出了个不错的论点以及一个不错的例子,但是不能掩盖没有电梯的事实~~我如果是单看这一段的话,完全不知道你要论的题目是运动交给了我们什么。既然第一句提出论点,不如就直接说运动告诉了我们这个事实天赋很重要。
However, talent is not the only determinant for a good life; we also need cooperation. Cooperation is most common(此处一般我觉着应该出现一个名词~~ in ball games, because most of them are a pattern of teamwork. Kobe Bryant may be one of the most impressive players in NBA. Nevertheless, without other members of L.A. Lakers, Kobe would never win a game through his own efforts. Cooperation is of paramount importance in NBA court, so is in a society as a whole.
Society is a just larger court consisting of more individuals, calling for more coordination and concerning for more cooperation. People in life
(没见过这个说法啊~may own a certain kind of talent, but a complicated task always requires all kinds of talents among varieties of fields. Only through cooperation or teamwork can we reach a remarkable success together. Playing games can be regarded as one of the aspects in life, especially to the professional athletes, and we can learn a lot about life from a sport match.
私以为最后两句可以并入最后一段
In conclusion, I do agree with the statement that playing games consists of important lessons in life.
红色修改
粉色不错的地方
紫色请教
论点和例子都选取的不错,但可惜的是作者的表达有很多,呃,就是只跟着感觉走,想到哪说到哪。用词和句子结构再下下功夫就好了~~加油~

今个论坛抽了,格式发不上去,拼了!

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发表于 2010-2-27 13:07:39 |只看该作者
楼主的文章写得很好,赞一下

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一帆枫顺

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发表于 2010-2-27 20:24:01 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 bensonseu 于 2010-2-27 20:32 编辑

2.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources.

A thousand people may have a thousand definitions of “well-informed people”. In my opinion, however, no matter which kind of definition, people who want to be well-informed should get information from many different information sources.

To us students on campus, textbooks may be the first source from which we gather knowledge and information. It is widely accepted that students who have a good knowledge of their majors and do well in their subjects will definitely get recognition from teachers, and may be regarded as “well-informed people” by other classmates. Everyone will possess his own career in future and being familiar with the knowledge in textbooks will put him into a favorable position in his job. Therefore, textbooks are essential for people, especially for students, to be well-informed.

Another source next to textbooks will be practice, which may be one of the reasons why many students choose to take a part-time job when they are attending school at the same time. Practice will teach you a lot what we can not get from textbooks and theory will only be valued when it is put into practice. To be well-informed people, we cannot just give big speeches on what we’ve learnt---we need to prove ourselves with practical skills.

However, a considerable number of graduates armed with proficient known-how on their majors find it difficult to get well with their colleagues in jobs. And that is also what confused many companies when they recruit new workers. As far as I am concerned, this is because they overlook a kind of information which can only be got from communicating with others---interpersonal skills. People are not just always working in the office in their lives; they need socialization as well. Well-informed people not only should know theories and practical skills, but also need know how to get involved into groups.

We can obtain information from many other sources such as media, history and so forth. The more strict definition of “well-informed people” one may give, the more information should be acquired. In a word, I do support the statement that to be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources.

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发表于 2010-2-27 23:36:21 |只看该作者
不好意思吖 那么晚才修改~~见谅

If we take a deep (in-depth是个不错的选择~呵呵) look at the sports on the playground, we may find out not a few similarities between sports and life. As for me, I do maintain the view that playing sports can teach us the important lesson of life. I will explain my point of view from the following aspects.

Firstly, talent is one of the essential opponents(用错了?) deciding success or failure in one’s life. In the past 28th Olympic Games, the biggest winner first coming to our mind may be Michael Phelps, nicknamed as the Baltimore Bullet, who equaled the record 8 golden medals of any type at a single Olympics. No one would deny the fact that Michael’s talent of perfect figure(不太通顺的说) for swimming contributed greatly to his phenomenal success. Similarly, people should also take talent into consideration when they make a decision over some fatal issues, such as career, in their lives. This is particular important for people who wants to be an artist. Art, as well as some other aspects, requires talent and talent will put people into a favorable position in job hunting in life. This is what Phelps tells us from his experience.  

However, talent is not the only determinant for a good life(LIFE用GOOD来修饰好像不太恰当~恕我暂时也想不到好的); we also need cooperation. Cooperation is most common in ball games, because most of them are a pattern of teamwork. Kobe Bryant may be one of the most impressive players in NBA. Nevertheless, without other members of L.A. Lakers, Kobe would never win a game through his own efforts. Cooperation is of paramount importance in NBA court, so is in a society as a whole. Society is a just larger court(JUST应该是“IS JUST A LARGER…) consisting of more individuals, calling for more coordination and concerning for more cooperation. People in life may own a certain kind of talent, but a complicated task always requires all kinds of talents among varieties of fields. Only through cooperation or teamwork can we reach a remarkable success together. Playing games can be regarded as one of the aspects in life, especially to the professional athletes, and we can learn a lot about life from a sport match.这段句式很多样化~赞!
In conclusion, I do agree with the statement that playing games consists of important lessons in life.发现LZ结尾一向很简短的说~ 这样倒是清晰,可是感觉不够完美吖 再总结总结更好~
总体来说LZ例子用的都很鲜活~行文格式也很不错 如果结尾能完善下就PERFECT了~

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发表于 2010-2-28 11:35:37 |只看该作者

A thousand people may have a thousand definitions of “well-informed people”. In my opinion, however, no matter which kind of definition, people who want to be well-informed should get information from many different information sources.



b' k! n, N5 F
To us students on campus, textbooks may be the first source from which we gather knowledge and information. It is widely accepted that students who have a good knowledge of their majors and do well in their subjects will definitely get recognition from teachers, and may be regarded as “well-informed people” by other classmates. Everyone will possess his own career in future and being familiar with the knowledge in textbooks will put him into a favorable position in his job. Therefore, textbooks are essential for people, especially for students, to be well-informed.  Another source next to textbooks will be practice, which may be one of the reasons why many students choose to take a part-time job when they are attending school at the same time. Practice will teach you(改成us因为从句主语是we) a lot (个人认为应该加个thing knowledge)what we can not get from textbooks and theory will only be valued when it is put into practice. To be well-informed people, we cannot just give big speeches(换成exaggerates是不会好点?) on what we’ve learnt---we need to prove ourselves with practical skills.



R/ Q5 l2 L& L* ~4 d4 T' r3 ?
However, a considerable number of graduates armed with proficient known-how (可以去掉known-how,因为proficient是名词)on their majors find it difficult to get well with their colleagues in jobs. And that is also what confused many companies when they recruit new workers. As far as I am concerned, this is because they overlook a kind of information which can only be got from communicating with others---interpersonal skills. People are not just always working in the office in their lives; they need socialization as well. Well-informed people not only should know theories and practical skills, but also need know how to get involved into groups.



% ^# \- e/ X' L9 l: c' T) c* |
We can obtain information from many other sources such as media, history and so forth. The more strict definition of “well-informed people” one may give, the more information should be acquired. In a word, I do support the statement that to be well-informed people should get information from many different information sources.


LZ的写作功底很好,这篇作文复杂句型使用得当,错误少,是一篇优秀作文
The good dream will be realized!

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