作文互改工程 3.23南京 issue 208

gemqueenUID: 2754049

In some certain circumstances, the waypeople look, dress, and act can reveal their attitudes and interests, while peoplemay hide their real attitudes by wearing clothes different from their mind. Forthe second statement, there are so many different people in the society thatthe method which to observe all kinds of people is not effective in serving asa key. What is more, a society's ideas and values are a big topic which can notbe obtained only by the appearance and behavior of its people.
Although in some cases, people’s attitudes andintereste can be observed through their way of looking, dressing, and acting,there are many people who do not concern about what they dress or act. Forinstance, a physician may spend too much time on his research to think a minuteabout his dressing. His way of dress may be determined by his wife or someoneelse. Thus if we take his dress as a symbol of his attitude and interest, itwill make mistakes.
Even if the way people look, dress, and act can revealtheir attitudes and interests, we can not obtain information across-the-boardabout the people in this society, how many people should we take as a sampleand which social class
they should be picked from is a complicated problem. In thatway,if we choose people just from a certain place of the society, they may havea common look, dress, and act, while the other places may be much differentfrom them. In that reason, the people we choose to observe may can not revealthe society’s ideas and values.
The society’s ideas and values is a large problem,which can not be revealed only by observing its people’s look, dress and act. Ablind person just touch the foot of an elephant will think the elephant as a cylinder while another person touch the nose of anelephant will tell much different from the former. Therefore we can not tell abig problem by revealing a small part of it. Some other factors can reveal thesociety’s ideas and values such as its popular music, famous people, thearchitectures and so on.


Tosum up, firstly, in most conditions, the way people look, dress, and act cannot totally reveals their attitudes and interests. Secondly, to tell about asociety's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of itspeople is like seeing the eyes to tell the whole face,which is a mistake.Thirdly, to observe the people of the whole country is not as easy as we think.

LaoZZZZZUID: 2747300

In some certain circumstances, the way people look, dress, and act can reveal their attitudes and interests, while people may hide their real attitudes by wearing clothes different from their mind. （有语法问题，而且正个句子前后重复了，建议：while clothes and act may belie people’s real attitudes）For the second statement, there are so many different people in the society that the method which to\of observing all kinds of people is not effective in serving as a key. What is more, a society's ideas and values are a big topic which can not be obtained only by \from the appearance and behavior of its people.
Although in some cases, people’s attitudes and intereste can be observed\discovered, grasped,, exposed by… through their way of looking, dressing, and acting, there are many people who do not concern about what they dress or act. For instance, a physician may spend too much time on his research to think a minute about his dressing. His way of dress may be determined by his wife or someone else. Thus if we take his dress as a symbol of his attitude and interest, it will make mistakes.
Even if the way people look, dress, and act can reveal their attitudes and interests, we can not obtain information across-the-board (放information前面)about the people in this society, how many people should we take as a sample(应该是负数) and which social class they should be picked from is a complicated problem.（逻辑有点混乱，语法也说不通） In that way, if we choose people just from a certain place of the society, they may have a common look, dress, and act, while the other places may be much different from them. In that reason（To this extent…）, the people we choose to observe may can not reveal the society’s ideas and values.
The society’s ideas and values is a large problem（建议把这句翻译成汉语，然后好好看看，估计你都觉得有点无厘头。。）, which can not be revealed only by observing its people’s look, dress and act. A blind person just touch the foot of an elephant will think\view,mistake… the elephant as a cylinder while another person touch the nose of an elephant will tell much different from the former. (例子很不错)Therefore we can not tell a big problem by revealing\investigating,surveying,studying.. a small part of it. Further more, In addition…Some other factors can reveal the society’s ideas and values such as its popular music, famous people, the architectures and so on.
Reveal 用的太多了，而且用的不是很恰当。。
To sum up, firstly, in most conditions, the way people look, dress, and act cannot totally reveals their attitudes and interests. Secondly, to tell about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of it speople is like seeing the eyes to tell the whole face, which is a mistake\ ridiculous,unreliable,on-sided... Thirdly,  to observe the people of the whole country is not as easy as we think.

怎么说呢……总的来说，总体段落的逻辑还算清晰，但是有很多语法和逻辑问题，而且好多地方词用的不是很恰当，也就是说虽然思想还算周全，但是用英语表达出来的能力还欠火候！

建议：多背背北美范文，多练，多看看别人写的东西，