【big fish】 习作1.4 Argument 238 by rachelwang712

rachelwang712UID: 2757860

Argument No.238
The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.
"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."

----------------------------------------

提纲：
130%的人是没有报告自己的就业情况还是报告了未就业呢，35%的人就业与主要修读无关不排除他们跳槽的可能性
2找到工作的M地的人是多久时间以内的呢？3个月？G地就业的人当中有多少参加了Business course job counselors
4G的policy在M地不一定适用

Though clearly written, the memo is weak in its reasoning. Specifically, its failure to consider factors other than business courses and job counselors that may affect the employment in Mira Vista, to include necessary detailed information about attendance of business classes and job counseling and possible difference in survey time in Green Mountain College and to draw effective comparison with careful examination into two universities undermines the conclusion it reaches.

To begin with, the real employment situation, despite the seemingly looming picture in the survey, may turn out the other way. The survey only shows the percentage of students who get employed among those having informed the placement office that they were hunting for jobs. But nothing is mentioned about those did not tell the placement office about their job-seeking. It is possible that only 100 students out of 100,000 did inform, and they can by no mean represent the overall situation. Also, while statistics is cited that just half of 70% who get employed were taking up occupation relevant to their major, it should be noticed that this is merely the first three months after graduation and odds that they switch to another career more relevant to their field of study can never be ruled out. Actually, if most of them manage to do so, the picture will be anything but depressing.

Furthermore, with all its efforts to contrast Mira Vista against Green Mountain College, the memo's introduction of how Green Mountain College performs is rather too rough to buttress its conclusion. To be exact, trully 90% did find their jobs but for how long? Whether it is 3 months, the same time span of the survey in Mira Vista, or 1 year makes a significant difference. Plus, the author did not provide adequate information as to how many of those who get job offers have actually attended business courses and these courses really helped, or arranged meeting with job counselors. That means even if graduating seniors in Green Mountain College perform better in job hunting, no certain correlation can be established between this and business courses, and job counselings Green Mountain College provides. To make his arguemnt more convincing, the president needs to check all these issues more carefully.

Finally, on top of all the flaws in survey mentioned above, a prudent inspection into any difference between the two colleges concerning this issue is necessary if the policy to open business courses and hire job counselors is to be made. Perhaps, it is harder for graduating students in Mira Vista College simply because local companies are suffering from an economic recession as a whole. And still chances are that they are less competitve in ability, which means the problem lies in quality of academic instructions rather than lack of business courses and such. Even if the lower employment rate is partly due to shortage in proper courses addressing career planning and business and technology, the president and the trustees are expected to check whether this policy is affordable for Mira Vista College and whether there is other cheaper and more effective solutions to the problem instead rushing to the final decision.

To sum up, were the conclusion to be arrived at safely, more information should be included, namely but not limited to, a clearer display of employment situations both in Mira Vista College and in Green Mountain College, the true impact of business courses and job counselors on students seeking jobs and the the feasibiliy of the approach. Without addressing all these, the memo could be weakened and doubted seriously.

gaobaoayu123UID: 2740997

我觉得你这篇argument写的非常好
ps：我觉得那个调查数据的问题主要出在没有对90%做任何说明