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[i习作temp] 【big fish】习作-2.25Issue208-----by Narashy [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-25 13:01:09 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 Narashy 于 2010-2-26 09:16 编辑

第一次写issue,有很多不足,希望多指正! 谢谢!

The speaker asserts that the way people look, dress and act would tell the society's ideas and values. While this assertion do have merit, it is not always the case.

To begin with, consider the way people look and dress. Usually the outward appearances of people are acurate signs of their attitudes and values. People prefer clothes not only by their functionality but also anticipating they would be appreciated by the society. For instance, in China, people place a high value on their traditional clothing Tang-Suit especially when it comes to their traditional Spring Festival, from which we can tell that China's society values tradition over modernization. Similarly, a society which has a preference to cheap, functional clothing might also prefer practicality and saving rather than spending. A society whose members tend to be in good-shape indicates its emphasis on physical exercises. On other respects, however, the way people look and dress are merely the results of climatic and working environment. Obviously researchers at antarctic from all over the world wearing thick clothes does not necessarily suggests that they all have a preference on fur. Similarly, we can not tell the attitude towards clothes of a plumber only from his/her dirty suit.

Turing next to the way people act. Rituals, habbits and lifestyle often provide us lots of insights on the society's values and ideas. A society whose members are characterized by accomodating is probably the one place a high value on helping each other. A city with many entertainment facilities might indicate a society prefering consume and convinience. Similarly a region where many scientist were born and raised can be served as evidence of a society focusing on education, especially on science. On the other hand, does a society whose members tend to work long hours indicating a hard-working one or a less-developed society in which people have to work extra hours to earn enough salary for daily life and their insurance? In addtion, people's act sometimes would even belie their own values and attitudes, like employee's pretending to be respectful and accomplished in order to get a promotion. An even remarkable example would be Albert Einstein who has been working in a local government institution before his famous paper came out in order to make a living.   

To sum up, from the way people look, dress and act, we can usually tell the society's attitudes and values but this is not always the case. Sometimes people'a act even belie their real values and ideas.
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发表于 2010-2-26 15:16:55 |只看该作者
The speaker asserts that the way people look, dress and act would tell the society's ideas and values. While this assertion do have merit, it is not always the case. (有点过于简短了吧,还可以详细点,把自己的topic sentence完善具体一点)

To begin with, consider the way people look and dress. Usually the outward appearances of people are acurate signs of their attitudes and values. People prefer clothes not only by their functionality but also anticipating they(指代的是人吗) would be appreciated by the society.(觉得这句话有点问题不太通顺but also 后面的主语是什么呢,拆开来说会清楚一点) For instance, in China, people place a high value on their traditional clothing Tang-Suit especially when it comes to their traditional Spring Festival, from which we can tell that China's society values tradition over modernization. (是不是over modernization我不看得不出这个结论,直接说重视传统就好了)Similarly, a society which has a preference to cheap, functional clothing might also prefer practicality and saving rather than spending. A society whose members tend to be in good-shape indicates its emphasis on physical exercises.(为什么不是说明觉得好身材好看呢或者重视健康呢,不知道怎么就推到运动上了。。) On other respects, however, the way people look and dress are merely the results of climatic and working environment. Obviously researchers at antarctic from all over the world wearing thick clothes does not necessarily suggests that they all have a preference on fur. Similarly, we can not tell the attitude towards clothes of a plumber only from his/her dirty suit.

Turing next to the way people act. Rituals, habbits and lifestyle often provide us lots of insights on the society's values and ideas. A society whose members are characterized by accomodating is probably the one place a high value on helping each other. A city with many entertainment facilities might indicate a society prefering consume and convinience. Similarly a region where many scientist were born and raised can be served as evidence of a society focusing on education, especially on science. On the other hand, does a society whose members tend to work long hours indicating a hard-working one or a less-developed society in which people have to work extra hours to earn enough salary for daily life and their insurance? In addtion, people's act sometimes would even belie their own values and attitudes, like employee's pretending to be respectful and accomplished in order to get a promotion. An even remarkable example would be Albert Einstein who has been working in a local government institution before his famous paper came out in order to make a living.   
To sum up, from the way people look, dress and act, we can usually tell the society's attitudes and values but this is not always the case. Sometimes people'a act even belie their real values and ideas.

开头结尾段过于简单,中间一般来说是3~4段的,觉得论证不够充分,表面化了,例子也觉得有些不是那么有道理,(可能我有点偏执,就是会觉得推不倒的因果关系。。表PIA我~)没有去说到底什么是社会的价值观之类的东西,而人的行为难道伪装一下就不是社会价值观的体现了吗,如果一个民族就是这样一个善于伪装或者强迫自己去做某件事达到某种目的的话,那这又何尝不是一种社会价值观的取向呢?
开心就好!BiG FiSh I do love this team!!

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RE: 【big fish】习作-2.25Issue208-----by Narashy [修改]

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