【Big Fish】3月2日 Argument237-By Narashy

NarashyUID: 2602795

In this argument, the author concludes that financial inducements such as tax incentives should be provided to encourage private companies to relocate at Beauville in order to simulate economy and reduce unemployment. To substantiate his/her conclusion, the author cites the example of Dillton with same policies. Although seems appealing, the conclusion rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide enough evidence showing that Dillton has a successful policy on stimulating economy. It is far from sufficient only by stating that two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton which employed 300 people. Other factors such as how many factories have moved out Dillton and how many people lost their jobs? It is entirely possible that most factories leaved Dillton which caused thousands of people unemployed. Unless it can be shown that Dillton's policies have a positive results, the conclusion is completely unwarranted.

Secondly, even if the Dillton's policies actually works, which is completely unwarranted, it does not necessarily follow that the same policies would have positive effect at Beauville. The author commits the fallacy of "False Analogy" in which he/she naively assume that things remain exactly the same from Dillton to Beauville. It appeals reasonable that Dillton posesses abundant natural resources such as minerals, woods and water while Beauville consists mainly farms which is much more less competitive. However, there is little sign in the argument that would rule out these cases.

In addtion, there are other factors that the author fails to take into account. Such as the extra land provided for newly established factory, the amount of human resources Beauville are able to offer. Futher analysis on these topics should be conducted.

To sum up, the author's conclusion on stimulating economic development of Beauville is not well-supported. More information about Dillton such as the people get employed should be provided. To better evaluate the recomendation, further investigation on local economy should be presented.

jenius4869UID: 2659821

1# Narashy
In this argument, the author concludes that financial inducements such as tax incentives should be provided to encourage private companies to relocate at Beauville in order to simulate（stimulate） economy and reduce unemployment. To substantiate his/her conclusion, the author cites the example of Dillton with same policies. Although seems appealing, the conclusion rests on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions which render it unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the author fails to provide enough evidence showing that Dillton has a successful policy on stimulating economy. It is far from sufficient only by stating that two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton which employed 300 people. Other factors such as how many factories have moved out Dillton and how many people lost their jobs? It is entirely possible that most factories leaved Dillton which caused thousands of people unemployed. Unless it can be shown that Dillton's policies have a positive results, the conclusion is completely unwarranted.

Secondly, even if the Dillton's policies actually works（work）, which is completely unwarranted, it does not necessarily follow that the same policies would have positive effect at Beauville. The author commits the fallacy of "False Analogy" in which he/she naively assume(assumes) that things remain exactly the same from Dillton to Beauville. It appeals reasonable that Dillton posesses abundant natural resources such as minerals, woods and water while Beauville consists mainly farms which is much more less competitive.（less competitive之后呢 没有跟作者的观点联系上 再说一句就好了） However, there is little sign in the argument that would rule out these cases.

In addtion, there are other factors that the author fails to take into account. Such as the extra land provided for newly established factory, the amount of human resources Beauville are able to offer. Futher analysis on these topics should be conducted.

To sum up, the author's conclusion on stimulating economic development of Beauville is not well-supported. More information about Dillton such as the (number of ?)people get employed should be provided. To better evaluate the recomendation, further investigation on local economy should be presented.

首先 还是想说字数的问题哦  先充实完文章 以后再减总会简单些
词汇有些简单 有的词反复在用 比如show 多用别的词替换或换一种表达吧 比如 indicate, imply, present..(额 我水平也不高哈)
还有body的第三段写得太简单了 你可以抨击作者说这是fastest way 然后再具体举例嘛~