Issue11 建立世界大学 求拍，【有拍必回】

爱上千年的猫UID: 2476232

Issue 11
"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage
students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

9：51~57~10:38

+1）why: these global problems become more pressing to be solved: environment, financial crisis
+2) so: diverse minds can mix to find proper solution, learn from each other's success or failure: china's for india, from Japan
-1) first: administrative difficulties: funds, resource, Moreover ordinary work form
-2) second:diverse minds may be hard to be uniformed

The speaker advises that a global university should be built in order to solve the world's most long-lasting problems. In my view, this method could be an effective access approaching solutions of these social problems in the world, as long as proper administrative manner is adapted and an atmosphere of welcoming different ideas is established.

The idea of a global university may result from the long-lasting global social problems which are becoming more pressing to be solved. The environment problem comes to mind immediately. Various countries in the world are more or less suffering from global warming, the most serious environment problem at stake. World Summit has already been attempting to find global solutions. If a global university is built and specialists from different countries can work together, the process of solving global warming is more likely to be speeded up. The same would also be applied to the recent financial crisis, in which almost every country participates in the following rescuing project. If such global university has existed for some years, economists and politicians all over the world together will students may come up with proper institution to avoid such crisis and operate on a healthier world economy. All these toughest problems may find solutions after the establishment of a global university.

A global university which accepts various concepts and ideas can be a good way to raise students with the ability to view things from various perspectives. As a part of resource invested into the university, experienced politicians, scientists, and other specialists from different countries will bring diverse perspectives as well as their knowledge to the students in the university. Thus, by communicate with each other and learn from each other's success and failure in specific problems, feasible global solutions tend to be produced. For example, Chinese experience may throw light upon India, both of which are developing countries with huge population. And Japanese environment protection system may be of great value for the rest of the world. Therefore, students can take advantage of the experience and gain an insight of most persistent social problems, which would be helpful for them to find solutions.

Even there are so many reasons supporting a global university, we still have to face difficulties involved. The first obstacle we have to overcome is the administrative difficulty. One needs look no further than the initial investment of the university. Should all nations be required to invest? How to raise fund for the university? Who would be able to be the faculty? Moreover, even if these questions are answered and all basic resources are obtained, how to operate it effectively? What curriculum should be offered to the students? Unless these problems can be solved appropriately, we can not ensure the global university would have the influence we supposed.

The second barrier in producing solutions in the global university is how to establish the atmosphere of welcoming different ideas or even disagreement. As we supposed, teachers are all great minds from the world whereas their living backgrounds differ. Thus conflict ideas may appear in the classroom. It is hard for students without any experience to decide how to coordinate such conflicts. Teachers themselves even can not find eclectic solutions. Thus, global problems may still remain unsolved.

In sum, the benefits which global university would bring is undoubted. However, there are certain impediments in running such university successfully. But we can still be optimistic that as long as we can explore suitable operation of the global university, the solutions for those persistent global problems are just at hand.


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adcolorsUID: 2256933

Sorry in advance since I don’t have enough time to revise your writing word by word. But I promise that I’ve read through this article then I can offer you some brief idea for your consideration.


The same as your last issue, the structure and thinking flow of your writing is quite clear which is very good; however, in my opinion, there are two major constraints which may prevent you from a higher score–a bit weak in term of in-depth thinking as well as lack of variety in both diction and syntax.


For the first point, you may try to forget about any writing strategy or technical to “form” an article but try to dissect the topic or a type of topics at first. Even you can try to identify your standpoint and think freely in Chinese at the first place (of course when you’re doing practice but not right in the examination). My own miserable experience of 0910G AW told me that though your writing itself does matter your final mark, the key point of your level (6/5/4/3) will be more possible to be determined by your convincing demonstration of analyzing an issue as a qualified postgraduate student - whether you have the ability to generalize, critique, and to present those ideas in the most accurate and concise way (considering the time limitation). My results in TOEFL and IELTs writing are presentable which at least shows my basic capability of writing in English ; however, I’ve got a horrible result in GRE AW.



I said this to encourage you since I can sense that you do have a solid writing skill but just too rush to FINISH the preparation of exam. Take your time to comb your value standard, your own philosophy, your way of think and response to the real world problem. Devote yourself to the writing process~


For the latter part of diction and syntax, try to prepare some raw materials before you start to write, look at those native speakers’ concern, hot topic, everyday news etc. It is absolutely fine to raise example using China as the case, but in that matter, you have to explain a little bit about the culture differences and background to let the judges understand –don’t forget they are Americans, they only try to understand what you’re saying in their own way. Don’t rush into the time limitation, remember you STILL have one month, it’s always better to be positive than negative.



Here’s a few examples of my revision andcorrections of words and phrases:
P1: “The speaker advises that a global university should be builtin order to solve the world's most long-lasting problems. In my view, this method could be an effective access approaching solutions of these social problems in the world, as long as proper administrative manner is adapted and an atmosphere of welcoming different ideas is established.”


If I were you, I would begin like this:

In my view, the method of building such a global university could be an effective and feasible approach to solute emerging social problems such as … and …; as long as (it’s a good job!) a proper administrative manner can be adapted and there is an atmosphere of embracing different ideas across all the countries.
You can see that I directly go into my own opinion since there is no need to repeat the exact idea in the topic since the markers are assumed to be very familiar with it, even much more than you.

I’ve also found some tiny mistakes such as “Even there are so many reasons supporting a global university” in the fourth paragraph,
“Even” here is supposed to be “even though”, right?

Just stop here. I will add some new idea if time slot allows this afternoon or later.

I didn’t correct the whole content also dues to the fact that I am holding a opposite point of you thus I will be thinking about how to convince you all the time if I do so.

Good luck and add oil.

adcolorsUID: 2256933

稍微有点好为人师了，见谅。

ringtailbunnyUID: 2579853

3# adcolors
这改的那篇太nb了。。。

爱上千年的猫UID: 2476232

RE: adcolors

Thank u~ and I wish if you could have more time to finish the revising work~

Just as you said, I was really too rush to FINISH the preparation of exam, thus when I faced a new issue topic, I immediately began to use already existed patterns to analyse based on my first sense to that issue. Lacking the depth of thinking is of course inevitable. I guess I would spend some time in the next few days to adjust my way of analysing the issue.

Another headache of mine is the proper examles. I also found myself spending time thinking but cannot find apt illustrations. Now I'm collecting examples from GRECAT but sometimes afraid to be treated as copying.

轻轻de舞UID: 2795216

改的那个真不是盖的!!!!