[Big Fish]3月2日Issue43 by-bobbiezz

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

ISSUE 43
"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
===============================================================================================

Do a public official have highest ethical and moral standards quality will be an effective leader certainly? I strongly agree with the statement that ethical and high moral standards are most important characteristic what a excellent official must have. However, only own this is not enough for exceptional politician.

Firstly, a public official should have high quality of ethical and moral. Leaders have satisfied with the requirements, they will treat public people more careful and even themselves would be regard as a highly spiritual leader. Most outstanding presidents have excellent knowledge background of literature and philosophy such as the present leader of America Obama. He was graduated of the Harvard Law Review and received a doctorate in law. His ethical and moral gained in university have significant contribution to whatever his president’s campaign or his later performance. Due to his highest quality he would become an effective leader.

Secondly, however, to be an excellent politician leader only based on high moral and ethical is not enough, they should gain more widely knowledge and make them useful. Everything will happen without predictive especially in politics, so to be a successful leader they should not only learn philosophy but also elect relevant course to take, such as economic, law, literature and so on. Roosevelt was a well-know example, he solved the most famous financial crisis of America history by his depth economical sciences. So be a widely scholar would have much advantages for a excellent politician.

Thirdly, even if a leader have sufficient knowledge but little moral, it would be the worst situation for both his public and other people. He may use his exceptional information that gain from university or textbooks to destruction. Hitler and his fascist army made tremendous damage in the second world war. Hitler’s low moral standards is one of the reasons that cause him become a notorious killer. As a result, if a official leader don’t have much high ethical and moral it will cause curious consequence to his public.

In sum up, to be an effective leader, must maintain both highest ethical and moral standards but also should gain other useful knowledge. A president who has all above this would bring his public people happiness and peaceful lives. And even he will be record in history as an effective leader.

swolf54UID: 2421931

Do a public official have highest ethical and moral standardsquality will be an effective leader certainly? I strongly agree with thestatement that ethical and high moral standards are most importantcharacteristic what an excellent official must have. However, only own this is notenough for exceptional politician.
Firstly, a public official should have high quality of ethical andmoral. Leaders have satisfied with the requirements, they will treat publicpeople more careful and even themselves would be regard as a highly spiritualleader. (这一句话中间用一个who从句来连接看起来不更连贯一些吗)Most outstanding presidents，such as the present leader of America Obama（这个短语修饰的是president, 应该紧跟其后）， have excellent knowledge background ofliterature and philosophy. He wasgraduated of the Harvard Law Review and received a doctorate in law. Hisethical and moral gained in university have significant contribution towhatever his president’s campaign or his later performance. Due to his highestquality he would become an effective leader.
这一段虽然看似没有什么问题，但是论据却是不充分的。单单从法学院毕业就能保证有high ethical and moral standard? 显然不是。论据需要重新考虑，用领导人的行为来做论据。
Secondly, however, to be an excellent politician leader only basedon high moral and ethical is not enough, they should gain more widely knowledgeand make them useful(into pratical use). Everything will happen without predictive especially inpolitics, so to be a successful leader they should not only learn philosophybut also elect relevant course to take, such as economic, law, literature andso on. Roosevelt was a well-know example, he solved the most famous financialcrisis of America history by his depth economical sciences. So be a widely scholarwould have much advantages for a excellent politician.
没记错的话，其实罗斯福个人并不是一个对经济学很有研究的人吧？是他背后的智囊团在起作用，所以这个论据仍然是不合适的。。。
Thirdly, even if a leader have sufficient knowledge but littlemoral, it would be the worst situation for both his public and other people. Hemay use his exceptional information that gain from university or textbooks todo destruction. Hitler and his fascist army made tremendous damage in the secondworld war. Hitler’s low moral standards is one of the reasons that cause himbecome a notorious killer. As a result, if a official leader don’t have much highethical and moral it will cause curious（？这是什么意思） consequence to his public.
In sum up, to be an effective leader, must maintain both highestethical and moral standards but also should gain other useful knowledge. Apresident who has all above this would bring his public people happiness andpeaceful lives. And even he will be record in history as an effective leader.
这个结尾最后两句的判断也太为绝对了一些，最好温和一些嘛。。。



这篇文章虽然没有太多的语法行错误，但是问题还是很多
1. 文章结构太过简单，GRE作文最关键的就是逻辑结构，例如 first, second, third这种简单的罗列最多出现在ibt作文中，GRE作文需要紧密的结构支撑
2. 用于显得比较初级，建议训练自己一些复杂句型，从句、条件句都可以
3. 文章逻辑有点乱， 一开始讲有道德，后来是有知识，再后来是有知识没道德，这样婉转千回的老美不容易看懂啊。。
4. 论据不太合适，建议自己多想想，不要生搬硬套。



建议：现在先去多读点范文，看看别人是怎么写的，然后把自己的写作习惯尽量改来向范文靠拢。加油！

swolf54UID: 2421931

对了，还有字数不够，至少500吧~~~

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

3# swolf54

谢谢~~这篇ISSUE我写的时候例子确实有点头疼，弄的有些牵强
还有其他的问题，我会注意的