issue 207 第一次issue 求狠拍～并请建议一些表达方法～

秋江暝泊UID: 2519878

第一篇issue，写的很辛苦，自己还稍微修改了一下。诚求各位大大的意见批评～另外蓝字部分是我吃不准或者觉得应当有更好的表达方式的地方，也很想得到一些建议～多谢呢～

207. "Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are."

I strongly agree with the assertion that the construction of culture needs rituals and ceremonies without which sense of identities would diminish. In ancient times clans and tribes relied on rituals and ceremonies. Though someone may argue that rituals have become seemingly insignificant due to the dominance of modern lifesyle, I maintain that ceremonies assume an indispensible role in building up identities.

It is through respective rituals and ceremonies that clans and tribes, the most primitive form of social groups, cultivated the sense of who they are and why they are different from other clans and tribes. According to the analysis of early religion by French sociologist Emile Durkheim, certain symbols or totems were extracted from social life and defined as sacred. Upon them rituals and ceremonies were held which convinced the members of the clan that, with the blessing of their deity, they possessed superior characteristics distinct from others. Rituals and ceremonies were attached great importance as they indicate identities even earlier before language.

Doubt on this assertion may be raised that, as closely related to religion, rituals and ceremonies gradually grow unimportant since the influence of religion underwent a decline centuries ago. As a matter of fact, rituals and ceremonies are widely applied in realms other than religion and contribute a lot in constructing identities that would otherwise diminish.

Rituals and ceremonies remind people of ideals, convictions and history attributable exclusively to their culture on a state level. Consider the Inauguration of President Obama. The inaugural theme “The New Freedom”, taken from the Gettysburg speech in memory of the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln, put up the idea of renewal, continuity and national unity again. A series of ceremonies was held centered around Abraham Lincoln like reenacting of Lincolns final part of trip tour and oath with Bible used by Lincoln. In fact, inaugurations of U.S. President serve as a regular opportunity for American people to confirm American spirit: freedom and democracy.

Rituals and ceremonies, which help defining culture of social groups, are omnipresent in modern society though taking the form slightly different from the past. Let’s say the graduation ceremony of universities. As the signal of a milestone of a student’s life, the graduation ceremony of a university or a college also functions as restating and renewing the mission and culture of university as a social group. In large corporations, corporate culture, which is paid much attention to in recent years, is similarly partly attributed to the unique “ceremony” of each corporation, for example, annual conference or forum. An even darer argument could be made that certain social movements may be viewed as “ceremonies” to speak out the identity to the whole society. Those demonstrations of female or homosexual groups, asking for abstract themes like equality, may more serve to define the identity and culture of their own than obtain any concrete results.

To sum up, rituals and ceremonies are essential to defining a culture whether in primitive times of modern ages. They did not diminish with religion, but rather appear in other forms like inauguration, graduation, to name a few. In my view, in contemporary society when lifestyles of social groups are growing similar, ceremonies will be increasingly reliable to rescue the diminishing sense of who we are.

海王泪UID: 2673613

It is through respective rituals and ceremonies that clans and tribes, the most primitive form of social groups, cultivated the sense of who they are and why they are different from other clans and tribes.

TS句如果能更简要抓住重点，可能对我们更有利。（当然我也做不好）
稍微修改一下
It is rituals and ceremonies that can help cultivate the identity for particular clans and tribes.
（强调的应该是仪式吧，插入语那部分其实可以不要。后面在BALABALA说如何Different）

Doubt on this assertion may be raised that, as closely related to religion, rituals and ceremonies gradually grow unimportant since the influence of religion underwent a decline centuries ago.

Doubts on this assertion may arouse that rituals and ceremonies are declining gradually as the shriveling of religion. In fact...balabala
（建议该段注意启下，OTHE THAN RELIGION，有什么？ 那就提一下还有Politics, Education Field and so on）

Rituals and ceremonies remind people of ideals, convictions and history attributable exclusively to their culture on a state level.

这句比较VAGUE, 光看TS没明白想说什么，直接就说对POLITICS有重大意义好了。
另外例子中什么在哪里举行等等无关信息可以缩减一下。

Rituals and ceremonies, which help defining culture of social groups, are omnipresent in modern society though taking the form slightly different from the past.

THOUGH后面的内容段里没讲。
Besides, rituals and ceremonies are familiar to us in daily life as important symbols for particular social gourps.

睡去～感觉TS没抓好 小小意见 不知道有没有帮助 LZ加油！

P.S.楼主IBT好高分

秋江暝泊UID: 2519878

多谢多谢～可能还是囿于自己习惯的思维框架里面，有些地方写得不够清楚～很好的建议呢～
楼上要考了是吧？一起加油～～