开个贴写作文-dy

dphenixyUID：2657199

[code][code]07年10月27日
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Observing or studying animals can teach us a lot of human nature.


        Have you ever been astonished by some behaviours of animals on TV programs or movies：the young strong lion expels the old lion king ruthlessly and takes over his realm；the antelopes hold together to defend against the wild wolf though they still often fight for food and territory at ordinary times？Some people point out that these are similar with human behaviours and observing or studying animals can teach us a lot of human nature。

        It may be true that the animal nature has something in common with the human naturaI，as according to Darwin‘s theory，there is no fundamental difference between man and the higher mammals in their mental faculties and the difference between human intelligence and animal intelligence is a matter of degree, not of kind。However，is it possible or necessary for our humans to learn our nature from animals？We enter the human society as soon as we are born。 From then on，we associate with other people everyday through a variety of ways，such as making friends，doing business，working together，marriage and so on，through which we can learn our human nature very well。In addition，the reason why we feel astonished by some animals‘behaviours like the examples of lions and antelopes mentioned above is that we see some“human nature" in those animals rather than we are suddenly enlightened that we seem to have such nature too。

        In consequence，there are neither necessary nor possible for us to learn the human nature from observing or studying animals。I hold the point that instead of learning the human nature，we had better learn the unique and excellent skills from some animals，which can actually benefit our humans。


修改


Since time immemorial, humans and animals have been living in a close connection sharing this World. In addition，according to Darwin‘s theory，man evolved from animals and there is no fundamental difference between men and the higher mammals in their mental faculties。Keeping in this train of thought, I would agree that observing animals can teach us about some human nature.
First of all，as humans evolved from animals, studying animals can help us understand our nature better. Human intelligence are higher than animals‘。We can inhibit our animal instinct some times，which make our nature much more inaccessible than animals’。For instance, human beings have a totally different solution when others provoke them compared with animals." In most cases，if a tiger were provoked by a wild dog or another tiger, there would be a fierce fight at once. However, we people often try to find rational solutions to the problem without conflict when provoked, but it doesn’t mean that humans don’t have the instinct of revenge. So as humans have more complicated or reserved responses, it is helpful to learn about human nature from animals.
In addition, observing the living situation of animals can show us how people disrespect surrounding nature and our Planet. Entire Planet is becoming the victim of human behavior and greed. Today, Human needs for farmland, housing, and industry has shrunk animals’ habitat greatly. What’s more, many animals with high commercial value have become endangered or even extinct due to man killing. For example, we can see tigers today only at the zoo, because they became so endangered by the man actions that it would be risky leaving them in nature.
In conclusion, I believe that studying and observing animals, our ancestors and victims, do can help us know the human nature better.

dphenixyUID：2657199

3.5：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves

A well-known Chinese motto says，“great people make decisions for others；superior people make decisions for themselves；ordinary people have others make decisions for them。I had ever doubt it。Yet after experiencing and meditating some phenomena in the society，I gain its essential truth。

There is a familiar situation that when people have to make a significant decision，most of the people tend to resort to the senior people in their family or their boss。As far as I am concerned，that is just because that they fear to take the responsibility if they make a wrong decision。For example，when those people attend a university，they tend to have their parents to choose the major for them。Because they are afraid to be blamed when they can’t find a well-paid job after they graduate。Besides，when they are on the horns of a dilemma in their work，they prefer to throw the puzzle to their boss rather than solve it by themselves。Because they want to make an excuse when they fail。

Also， there are some indecisive and unconfident people who like to have the god to make decision for them。They like to toss a coin。They believe in astrology。Yet the only ones they don’t trust are themselves the last thing they want to do is to be a decision maker。

All in all，with knowing the fact that there are so fewer people who can be considered as great or superior people in contrast to the ordinary ones，I think most of people in the world are not responsible or confident enough to make decisions for themselves。
zy凑够300字了，来不及改了，先发上来凑数~

zhisnoopyUID：2703722

A well-known Chinese motto says，“great people make decisions for others；superior people make decisions for themselves；ordinary people have others make decisions for them。”I had ever doubt it。Yet after experiencing and meditating some phenomenas in the society，I gain its essential truth。 4 X6 [: j1 A) F$ r# ^  n

There is a familiar situation that when people were asked to make a significant decision，most of people tend to appeal to(这个词我改掉是因为我查了下字典，貌似resort to后面接物，或者方法，不能接人，所以我换成appeal to了。是否正确不确定，大家讨论下呢？) the senior people in their families or their boss。As far as I am concerned，that is just because they fear for taking responsibility as if they make a wrong decision。For example，when those people attend a university，they tend to have their parents to choose the major for them。Because they are afraid to be blamed when they can’t find a well-paid job after their graduation。Besides，when they are on the horns of a dilemma in their work，they prefer to throw the puzzle to their boss rather than solve it by themselves。Because they want to make an excuse when they fail。

Also， there are some indecisive and unconfident people who would like to have the god to make decision for them。They prefer to toss a coin。They believe in astrology。Yet the only one they don’t trust is themselves，and the last thing they want to do is to be a decision maker。 . V( |, @/ J, @# F, d

All in all，with knowing the fact that there are so fewer people who can be considered as great or superior people in contrast to the ordinary ones，I think most of people in the world are not responsible or confident enough to make decisions for themselves。


LZ用词很有深度哦~~~~~，思路蛮清晰的，就是例子能再详细点就更好了~~~

eejchenUID：2225156

A well-known Chinese motto says，“great people make decisions for others；superior people make decisions for themselves；ordinary people have others make decisions for them“。I had ever doubt it。Yet开头不太正式，可改为However， after experiencing and meditating some phenomena in the society，I gain its essential truth. 开头引用名言，赞～ G& r6 l* P$ q) ?; @- f4 c/ {

There is a familiar situation that when people have to make a significant decision，most of the people them tend to resort to the senior people in their family or their bosses。As far as I am concerned，that is just because that they fear to take the responsibility if they make a wrong decision。For example，when those people attend a university，they tend to have their parents to choose the major for them。Because they are afraid to be blamed when they can’t find a well-paid job after they graduate。Besides，when they are on the horns of a dilemma in their work，they prefer to throw the puzzle to their boss rather than solve it by themselves。Because they want to make an excuse when they fail。% f. a- A: ?3 h
7 z* y$ S2 n1 M# a& {' o
Also， there are some indecisive and unconfident people who like to have the god to make decisions for them。They like to toss a coin。They believe in astrology。Yet the only ones they don’t trust are themselves the last thing they want to do is to be a decision maker。

All in all，with knowing the fact that there are so fewer people who can be considered as great or superior people in contrast to the ordinary ones，I think most of people in the world are not responsible or confident enough to make decisions for themselves。句子写的还是很不错的，问题也不太多。但是结构和思路我有些不同的意见。作为托福作文，好像有一些约定俗成的结构形式，总分分总。但是这篇文章细节不太够，并且也没有跟题目紧密地连接起来。因为题目说人们prefer别人帮他们做决定，在文章里我没有看到你的明确回答。文章就是讲人们让他人make decisions for them来逃避责任，即使到了最后一句也是说人们不自信，不负责任地make decisions。不知道这样算不算跑题。
以上纯属个人浅见，如有不对请指正。


by 米

dphenixyUID：2657199

谢谢zhisnoopy，不检查果然还是会犯很多错误。另外resort to 我看老外写的文章好像也有接人的时候，不过也不是正式的文章上~~

dphenixyUID：2657199

小米说的很准确啊，我最大的问题就是不会举例子，尤其是碰到一些不好理解的题目，所以文章缺乏细节，都是一些大话，绕来绕去，结构也就没法顾及了，看了你和zhisnoopy的文章有了很大收获，打算抽时间把我的文章大改一次

dphenixyUID：2657199

Human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals

Never before in history have our needs for farmland, housing, and industry being more conflicting with the interest of animals than nowadays，especially the land for those endangered ones，due to the explosion of human population。Some people believe that humans have the priority to utilize all the natural resources。However，some others，especially environmentalists，maintain that the interest of humankind should not be obtained at the cost of the habitat of endangered animals。As far as I am concerned，the latter one is more reasonable due to the following explanations。


First of all，as some endangered animals have always been loved even been worshipped as a nation‘s symbol by human beings in all ages，it would be a heartbreaker for the people，if those animals disappear from the world。For example，pandas，the symbol of my country，China，have been endangered due to the excessive deforestation for farmland, housing, and industry since last century。However，many effective measures were taken as soon as we realized the dangerous situation of pandas，because it is too hard for our Chinese people to accept if pandas extinct.


In addition，we will suffer much from the extinction of some species。As all the creatures in the world connect with each other through some ways，such as competition and predation，the disappearance of one species is bound to cause negative effects on others。For instance，the Australians had killed all the wolves in their country for the protection of themselves and their sheep。However，the rabbits flourished before long with the extinction of their natural enemies，wolves， and ate out all the crops。Likewise，it is shortsighted to enjoy the immediate content to our needs by ruining the habitat of endangered animals， which may lead to their extinction。

From what has been discussed above，it is safety to draw the conclusion that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are never more important than saving land for endangered animals。

zhisnoopyUID：2703722

Never before in history have our needs for farmland, housing, and industry being more conflicting with the interest of animals than nowadays（最雷倒装结构的人，崇拜下这个句子……），especially the land for those endangered ones，due to the explosion of human population。Some people believe that humans have the priority to utilize all the natural resources。However，some others，especially environmentalists，maintain that the interest of humankind should not be obtained at the cost of the habitat of endangered animals。As far as I am concerned，the latter one is more reasonable due to the following explanations。

& w. s( V+ ^2 o0 ]$ A# |
3 O$ z6 {  R6 Z" n
First of all，as some endangered animals have always been loved even been worshipped as a nation‘s symbol by human beings in all ages，it would be a heartbreaker for the people，if those animals disappear from the world。For example，pandas，the symbol of my country，China，have been endangered due to the excessive deforestation for farmland, housing, and industry since last century。However，many effective measures were taken as soon as we realized the dangerous situation of pandas，because it is too hard for our Chinese people to accept pandas‘ extinction. （只是我觉得这样貌似能更通顺点……）
^: q; z$ T0 t

In addition，we will suffer much from the extinction of some species。As all the creatures in the world connect with each other through some ways，such as competition and predation，the disappearance of one species is bound to cause negative effects on others。For instance，the Australians had killed all the wolves in their country for the protection of themselves and their sheep。However，the rabbits flourished before long with the extinction of their natural enemies，wolves， and ate out all the crops。Likewise，it is shortsighted to enjoy the immediate content to our needs by ruining the habitat of endangered animals， which may lead to their extinction.（灰常好的句子哦~~）

From what has been discussed above，it is safety to draw the conclusion that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are never more important than saving land for endangered animals.

思路清晰，语言流畅，尤其有几个句子可以被拿来当范文背诵了哦，然后LZ的用词还是一如既往的漂亮……葱白一个哦~~~

dphenixyUID：2657199

感谢zhisnoopy的修改，pandas‘ extinction. 很地道，学到了^_^

GwillUID：2276374

7# dphenixy


Never before in history have our needs for farmland, housing, and industry being more conflicting with the interest of animals than nowadays especially the land for those endangered ones，due to the explosion of human population。Some people believe that humans have the priority to utilize all the natural resources。However，some others，especially environmentalists，maintain that the interest of humankind should not be obtained at the cost of the habitat of endangered animals。As far as I am concerned，the latter one is more reasonable due to the following explanations。

First of all，as some endangered animals have always been loved even been worshipped as a nation‘s symbol by human beings in all ages. It would be a heartbreaker for the people，if those animals disappear（disappeared） from the world。For example，pandas，the symbol of my country，China，have been endangered due to the excessive deforestation for farmland, housing, and industry since last century。（give more information about the bad effects when the number of panda has decreased, like people’s feeling, or destroyed the environment’s balance, something like that…then it is more natural when you say however….and we carried out some ways to save them）However，many effective measures were taken as soon as we realized the dangerous situation of pandas，because it is too hard for our(for us) Chinese people to accept pandas‘ extinction.

In addition，we will suffer much(suffer much of what? )from the extinction of some species。As all the creatures in the world connect with each other through some ways，such as competition and predation，the disappearance of one species is bound to cause negative effects on others。For instance，the Australians had killed all the wolves in their country for the protection of themselves and their sheep。However，the rabbits flourished before long with the extinction of their natural enemies，wolves， and ate out all the crops。Likewise，it is shortsighted to enjoy the immediate content to(for) our needs by ruining the habitat of endangered animals, which may lead to their extinction.

From what has been discussed above，it is safety to draw the conclusion that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are never more important than saving land for endangered animals.

dphenixyUID：2657199

非常感谢Gwill前辈的指点，几个细节确实大意了，就是if those animals disappear（disappeared） from the world为什么要用过去式呢

speedzshawUID：2556376

3.7 修改 by speedzshaw

mpromanusUID：2565872

Have you ever been astonished by some behaviours of animals captured on TV programs or movies：the young strong male lion expels the old male lion king ruthlessly and takes over his realm；the antelopes hold together to defend against the wild wolf though they still often fight for food and territory at ordinary times？Some people point out that these are similar with to human behaviours and observing or studying animals can teach us a lot of human nature.

It may be true that the animal nature has something in common with the human nature. as according to Darwin‘s theory，there is no fundamental difference between men and the higher mammals in their mental faculties and the difference between human intelligence and animal intelligence is a matter of degree, not of kind. However，is it possible or necessary for our humans to learn about our nature from animals？We enter the human society as soon as we are born. From then on, we associate with other people everyday through a variety of ways，such as making friends，doing business，working together，marriage and so on，through which we can learn about our human nature very well. In addition，the reason why we feel astonished by some animals‘ behaviours like those of the examples of lions and antelopes mentioned above, is that we see some “human nature" in those animals, rather than we are suddenly enlightened that we seem to have such nature too. (I don't get your logic. Since you admit that there is some 'human nature' in the animals, then why would you say that observing animals can't teach humans about 'human nature'? The question you need to argue is that whether observing/studying animals CAN teach us a lot about human nature, not why we are astonished by animal behavior. Whether the behaviors are astonishing or not isn't important at all, in a way.)

In consequence，there are it is neither necessary nor possible for us to learn the about human nature from observing or studying animals。I hold the point that instead of learning the about human nature，we had better learn the unique and excellent skills (What 'skills' are your talking about here?) from some animals，which can actually benefit our humans. (Again, the question is not asking you what we SHOULD learn from animals.)

总结：

句子变化和词汇都很好，但是还是没有非常清晰地把题目问的事情说明白，而且也没有很具体实在的例证。在整体的结构方面也不是很完整，一般的标准是除了开头结尾之外应该有二-三段，每段说明一个分论点，而不是把所有的论证都放在一个大段落里面。这种作文的逻辑是很简单的，你如果要说否定，就等于是要说observing/studying animals CANNOT teach us a lot about human nature, 然后就围绕这个cannot来展开就好了，而不是东说一句西说一句最后也没有落实到这个大的方向上去。

dphenixyUID：2657199

3.12 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

Last week，one of my neighbors，Wang Jie，a fourteen years old boy，hurt his leg in a school basketball game。As a result， his parents decided to constrain him from participating any sports contests。I doubt that whether their decision is advisable。

Admittedly，children are more likely to hurt themselves by playing sports in contests than just for fun，due to the fact that under the pressure from a contest，both inside and outside，children may try their best to win the game，without paying attention to their security，as it did in the case of my neighbor，Wang Jie。

However，the benefits children can enjoy by taking part in sports contests cannot be denied。First of all，playing sports contests frequently，could familiarize children with the competitive atmosphere and how to adapt to it。This quality is of significance in their future lives，as our society is just like a huge sports ground with numerous fierce competitions showing on it every day.

In addition，only in public contests can children’s sports talents be found。Liu Xiang，the most famous athlete in China, is a good case in point. Just in a high school sports meet, his talent in running was noticed by his current couch and thus entered the national sports team.

Finally，children could develop their sense of responsibility and team spirit through participating some team sports contests, while in a game just for fun, children may not care much about these。As we known，people with these quality are more likely to make achievements in their career。

From the discussion above，I can safely draw the conclusion that the advantages of taking part in a sports contest for children carries more weight than its disadvantages。Consequently，I strongly suggest that children participate as many sports contests as possible with paying certain attention to their security。

dphenixyUID：2657199

3.13 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play sports for fun, not in competition or contests.

第一次修改
Last week, one of my neighbors, Wang Jie, a fourteen years old boy, hurt his leg in a school basketball game. As a result, his parents decided to constrain him from participating in any sports contests from then on. I was astonished on hearing of their decision, since I believe it is inadvisable to prevent children from participating in sports contests.

Admittedly, children are more likely to hurt themselves by playing sports in contests than just for fun，due to the fact that under the pressure from a contest，both inside and outside，children would try their best to win the game，sometimes without paying attention to their security，as it did in the case of my neighbor, Wang Jie.

However, the considerable benefits children can enjoy by taking part in sports contests cannot be denied. First of all, playing sports contests frequently could familiarize children with the competitive atmosphere and how to adapt to it. The more often children participate in sports contests, the more calmly they would face challenges in their future lives，as our society is just like a huge sports ground with numerous fierce competitions showing on it every day.

In addition, only in public contests can children’s sports talents be noted. Without doubt, our society abounds with such examples. Liu Xiang, the most famous athlete in China, is a good case in point. Just in a high school sports meet, his talent in running was noticed by his current coach, and thus he entered the national sports team and won a gold medal in the 28th Olympic games eventually.

Last but not least, children could also develop their sense of responsibility and team spirit , two key factors to their achievements in their future career, through participating in some team sports contests. However, in a game just for fun, children may not care much about these.

From the discussion above, I can safely draw the conclusion that undeniable though the possibility of hurt playing sports in competitions may cause is, it pays for children to do that frequently, if the considerable benefits it could bring are taken into consideration.